• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Am I ever going to get over the fear??

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #41
    It would actually be 8 years ago now, Gloria...this thread is about 2 years old! I'm not sure why it got bumped up all of a sudden, but it was certainly an interesting read!

    I've noticed myself that I've been a little more nervous about riding since I just started back after breaking my collarbone (not in a riding-related accident, I fell down at home!). Like I really had to think, "your horse is a good boy, he won't do anything, he's just going to mosey, it's no big deal" before I swung my leg over the other day. I expect it's still going to be a while before I feel really secure again.

    Oh, and I hope you've managed to improve even more now, OP!
    The Trials and Jubilations of a Twenty-Something Re-rider
    Happy owner of Kieran the mostly-white-very-large-not-pony.

    Comment


    • #42
      Originally posted by analise View Post
      It would actually be 8 years ago now, Gloria...this thread is about 2 years old! I'm not sure why it got bumped up all of a sudden, but it was certainly an interesting read!
      Oops. Two years? LOL. Guess I should have looked at the initial post date first.

      Comment


      • #43
        It sounds like you are making great progress but I wanted to mention a system I learned about on Off Course three years ago when my husband died and I was grieving so hard for him. This is called Emotional Freedom Technique and it enables you to relieve any kind of emotional pain with a combination of affirmative sayings and acupressure techniques. It is completely free and not annoying. On the left hand side of the home page is a section called Getting Started. Just click on this. Fears of riding are just the sort of problem it is good for. It helped lots of frightened riders on the thread I mentioned earlier. Here's the website:

        http://www.eftuniverse.com/

        I hope this helps. You are doing great all ready. I couldn't see the second pics but even in the first ones you look secure and well on your way to being a good rider.

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #44
          What a surprise to see this post re-awakened! Yes, I am doing much better now. Every once in a while I'll have a little twinge of fear before getting on, mostly when I haven't ridden for a couple of weeks or there's some other factor going on like wind, lots of people in the arena, etc. I'm able to get past it pretty quickly and get on. I still have the doubtful thoughts, which I hate, but I make myself get on anyway without stopping to worry about them. If Solo is feeling fresh, I do lots of leg yields and shoulder-in and changes of directions and transitions during our warm up, and within a couple minutes his mind is on work and any worries I might have had are completely gone. We get along really well, he is a good boy mot of the time even on the ground--he is a stallion and has his moments, like when he hasn't been worked enough, but he never does anything that really worries me, is aggressive, etc. I actually have a 16-year-old girl riding him three days a week and he's even better behaved for her than he is for me. I wouldn't do that if I didn't feel confident that he wouldn't hurt her.

          To address a question someone asked about my general strength and balance...to be perfectly honest, I'm very strong (I can throw a 50 pound bag of grain over my shoulder and carry it from the parking lot into the grain room) and very balanced and grounded (I'm a dancer). I would say I'm a pretty good rider. Not so good that I score amazingly well at shows, although I do fine in the few I get to do, and my lessons are few and far between and there's always tons to work on. Good enough that when my horse does something bad (which this one almost never does), I can ride through it. I've sat some pretty good bucks and rears (none on Solo), but the thought of them scares me anyway. I can tell if Solo is thinking about misbehaving, and I can distract him or otherwise head it off so it doesn't happen.

          I'm not saying all this to brag. I'm just trying to give some context...I have the skills, so there's no reason to have any fear. Yet, these annoying little negative thoughts sneak in anyway. Thankfully, they don't stop me from riding, and I HAVE progressed, even since I wrote this post.
          Jennifer Walker
          Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
          Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #45
            Originally posted by cu.at.x View Post
            Wow that was really mean-spirited.
            I believe this woman is bipolar. I don't know if she's been diagnosed, but she definitely exhibits the symptoms. So, I tried not to let it bother me that much. I just wanted to make it clear (in a post later on that page) that she was stretching the truth a LOT. Yes, I could probably use a sports psychologist. Given that I'm poor, it's not going to happen. Yes, I fell off. None of the rest of it was true.
            Jennifer Walker
            Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
            Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com

            Comment


            • #46
              There are two things that have helped me a ton with 'adult rider' fears:

              First, it was super freeing to me to be able to dismiss the 'what ifs'. I realized that my horse (an OTTB that could be more than a handful) was going to let me know if he was full of beans. While a horse is a horse, and riding ANY horse is a risk just like getting in your car is, and a noseful of wasps can make the most steady and reliable kids horse rear over backwards or bolt, I realized that my horse would let me know if he was 'feeling shenanigans' or not.

              Now, I am quite capable of riding the shies, spooks, bucks, etc but that didn't mean I was not afraid the horse was going to 'cork off'.
              I was able to release my fears when I let the 'what if he corks off' go, recognizing that this horse would tell me unequivocally when he was full of cork.

              The second thing that helped me was a riding fear technique that I can't remember the source of- perhaps Mary Wanless or Sally Swift. Anyway, first you recognize that being fearful is a NECESSARY part of your being. Recognition of an unsafe situation, whether by feel ('that guy just weirds me out...', or simply 'this doesn't feel right') or by something more obvious (that saddle has no girth, I'm not going to stick my foot in the stirrup to mount) is vital to our self-preservation.
              So, with this technique, what you do is you recognize that you are fearful. Then, you ask yourself what specifically you are afraid of, and HOW afraid, on a scale of 1 to 10. Then, you analyze whether you have the skills/situation to proceed anyway. (A great instructor, who can give you a push but never overfaces you is great in a situation like this, because you can give a lot of trust to the instructor's assessment of the situation.)
              If you DO have the skills to proceed, (I can longe the horse before I get on, etc) you can ask your 'afraid self' to go sit over by the arena fence...while there, your 'afraid self' can jump in if things get out of hand, but isn't to bother you while you proceed. Saying, "Thank you, Afraid Self, for calling my attention to this. I have given an honest analysis to this, and I'm going to do it. But I need all my attention, so please go sit over there..." really can help. This doesn't really help, if you are not accurately analyzing your own abilities, or the depth of a really troubled horse's problems. But it's GREAT if you can look honestly at what is going on. I myself finally told my husband (who was tired of my OTTB being bonkers) that if, with good help, I could not help work the cattle because I couldn't un-bonkers my horse, that I would get a more appropriate horse.

              No small thanks here due to Mr Buck Brannaman, whose assessment was (paraphrased) 'You're going to get yourself killed if you don't learn how to take care of this...' That was followed by showing me how to deal with it, and get the horse OK within himself. I had to have a LOT more help before I learned to do it myself, but I saw that it could be done. And I also got the local, once a month (rather than the once every two years that Buck Brannaman came to town!) one-on-one help that I needed.

              This is a way of recognizing your own self, that you don't need to be hard on yourself because you are afraid. And it is a great way of seeing that fear can be legitimate, and there are some things you might want to take care of before you jump in and 'just do it'. You can quit belittling yourself for being afraid.

              With my OTTB, I realized that I had some fear problems going on because I was lacking the skills to get the horse focused on me, being a leader myself and being able to give the horse what HE needed to be comfortable with me, away from his buddies.
              My instructor helped me a bunch, he had me doing some things that were almost...but not quite overwhelming. I was asked PLENTY of times if I was OK, if I wanted to continue, if I was OK with what we were doing. I replied that I was at about 95% of what I could do, I wanted to keep going, I was OK with it and not too scared to process what was going on. That gave me new skills, new focus and new abilities, that I was able to develop.

              Comment


              • #47
                It's great to have an update twnkltoz! I am glad this thread came back up and that you are feeling more secure, and even on the same horse. Good for you!

                Comment


                • #48
                  I wanted to add this link:
                  http://effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com/

                  I'm looking forward to attending a workshop this coming week with Cathy. She's visiting the Seattle area this month, and studying at my barn!

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Did not realize This post was old. But for the Record, Han is lovely!!
                    And shame on that trainer for being so rude on a public forum.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #50
                      Thank you! I certainly think he's well worth the effort. My little mare was, too.
                      Jennifer Walker
                      Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
                      Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Did you have Hans at SHN? Did Patience ride him? Humma humma he is a looker - I have a HBB HA mare who would nick with him quite nicely.

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #52
                          Originally posted by HeartsongHorses View Post
                          Did you have Hans at SHN? Did Patience ride him? Humma humma he is a looker - I have a HBB HA mare who would nick with him quite nicely.
                          She showed him there in 2007. This year, she showed his cousin, Aulways Magic. They are pretty similar.
                          Jennifer Walker
                          Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
                          Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Kudos to you for overcoming your fear! It's not easy, but doable (as you've proven!) By the way, your guy is gorgeous.
                            I saw the angel in the marble and I set him free. - Michaelangelo

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Originally posted by stryder View Post
                              Oh, no. You are not alone.
                              You are certainly not alone, judging by the feedback I get on the column I write for The Chronicle about returning riding after an injury and the associated fear. In my case its out trail where I got hurt when Mr. Anxiety is loudest.

                              I refuse to be stuck in a ring the rest of my riding life, so I make myself go out on trails., Ive learned a few tricks that help quiet my mind. Sing. It forces you to breathe and takes your mind off of all the lions and tigers waiting to pounce. It also gets your horse's attention, especially if you sing as badly as I do.
                              Mix it up for both you and your horse. Do a shoulder in, a small circle, the one rein stop where your horse's inside hind leg crosses over his outside hand leg (if you ride in a Ray Hunt deovtee's clinic, that's the first thing you will learn).
                              Make your horse walk out, not mince around. I try to use the trail as a learning and teaching opportunity for both myself and my horse. It not only takes my mind off the fear, but accomplishes something.

                              Happy trails
                              Jody
                              Ps... To your former trainer, What's the point of being cruel like that? I sure hope you treat your horses better than you treat humans.

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #55
                                Originally posted by cu.at.x View Post
                                Kudos to you for overcoming your fear! It's not easy, but doable (as you've proven!) By the way, your guy is gorgeous.
                                Thank you!
                                Jennifer Walker
                                Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
                                Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by Small Name Trainer aka SNIT! View Post
                                  wow, jennifer, you did not just "fall off' your first horse 3 times...
                                  OP, obviously it's helpful to have a trainer. Especially one that is more helpful and supportive than THIS. Just wow.
                                  I mean, I've made so many mistakes and I have even bailed head first and given myself a concussion. I'm not proud of it and I don't intend to do it again.
                                  You need a supportive trainer who will coach you in baby steps, not make you feel like s***. And if the fear gets bad enough that you panic and are unable to react rationally in the moment (no judgement here), then you should also see a psychologist or sports psychologist.
                                  Good luck.
                                  Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Oops, zombie thread. I got so irritated with that rude trainer I didn't even notice. Glad it's going well.
                                    Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

                                    Comment

                                    Working...
                                    X