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Why are so many horse people so deranged?

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  • #41
    Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
    Because barns are female bastions of behaviour. Everything becomes emotional and personal. Who's popular, who supports who by knocking the "unpopular girl". Major cases of chronological adults acting like high school brats...the cheerleaders knocking the artsy-fartsy girls vs. the unpopular girls. No different.

    It's very related to the case where a few women in a mostly male area will "civilize" the guys. A few guys at a barn will reduce the full out estrogen-attacks, we don't take most things personally and we don't put up with the "if you like me you can't be friends with her" blackmail.

    I don't have to like my BO or my fellow boarders. They aren't my best buds...but I can deal with all of them without it being personal.
    I hate to agree with Trak...but I do. This is coming from a woman who spent years working at a cosmetics counter at Macy's with nothing but women (and a few gay men who added fuel)....women can be absolutely horrible .

    ETA: To clarify, I don't like the way Trak put it but I believe that most women get too involved with people around them (no matter what the environment and horse barns are full of women) and are too concerned with being part of every issue. The women who don't do that, are that ones who seem to get ostracized by the "pops", as my 6th grader puts it...but they are the ones who take their work more seriously and are mostly focused on the tasks at hand rather than the drama.

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    • #42
      Here's my 1 1/2 cents....

      Horses, mostly, are the basis for competition, whether it's a show, or a training method, or who's prettier, or who is more expensive, or, or, or........it's all competition.

      No one likes to feel like someone else is 'better' than they, and most of those feelings are made up in said person's own mind ('that girl's horse is a prettier bay and a better mover; I bet she laughs at my horse, the b!t$#!!!).

      Anyone who shows is instantly in a competition war for those coveted, but really worthless, ribbons. And woe be to anyone who 'dare' win more than you!

      "Your training method sucks and mine is the superior one"- competition.

      We are ALL so worried about what EVERYONE ELSE is doing, we can't concentrate on our own lost enjoyment of our chosen hobby. Add in our female hormone fluctuation on a daily basis...woo!

      The men get nutty probably from the competitive part, and they can be MUCH more backstabbing than women, looking from the front as if all is hunky-dory. Men cannot handle competition without starting a war, sometimes.

      It's a HOBBY folks! For most of us. For the ones that make it a business, you'd best drop that competitive nastiness or you'll lose all your customers.

      Do what you do best or like best, the best you can, without care for what other people do with their own. Let others do as they do. If they drive you crazy, don't deal with them.

      What happened to loving your choice of sport regardless of whatever else goes on around you?
      "As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use."- William James
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Proud member of the Wheat Loss Clique.

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      • #43
        In the last 4-5 years since I've been trimming for others, I've met some very "interesting" people. Most of those noteworthy clients have been women but I've had one man who was as "odd" as the women...and he was not gay...older guy with a wife and family. He stood in front of his horse, a rude, spoiled paint mare, and begged her, "please sweet baby, stand darling, it's OK..." while shoving cookie after cookie into her mouth. Meanwhile the horse was abusing the heck out of me, rocking, pulling, and jerking, until I told him to STOP feeding cookies and to make the damn horse stand up and pay attention. He acted like I slapped him but he did stop giving her treats and she stood much better...I no longer trim this horse and that's fine with me.

        The other thing you get with a farrier job is that people will tell you the most amazingly intimate things in their life...like I want to know!!! NOT! Almost as if we are their priest or something. I've learned to avoid discussing politics at all cost and to let someone just babble on while I pay attention and do the feet. When conversation turns too personal, I really try hard to bring the conversation back to the horse.

        I had one lady client show up to a trim appt. in her pj's...looked like she'd just gotten out of bed. She said it was nice having a female farrier as she did not feel obligated to put on makeup and get dressed...OK....

        Another story that is quite funny in retrospect. The lady at this place is nearly deaf...and half the time does not wear her hearing aid. She's older...a semi retired person. Anyway, she had a crew of men working on her house putting on siding. We usually trimmed right there beside the garage in the shade since she did not have a barn per se. On this day there were people all over the place...all men.

        When I got there she was running around with a sponge, Excalibur, and water and stopped and "shouted" to me that she was cleaning the horses' (both geldings) "shafts." In normal terms...sheath cleaning... She went on and on loudly about how both were so relaxed and how nice that was for "shaft cleaning" as they'd drop their "shafts" and stand nicely. The men on the work crew were gaping in astonishment at this lady industrious cleaning the boy's sheaths while I stood there embarrassed to just be present. I would have been much less mortified if she'd just said "penis" but it was like she'd been reading some bad romance novels or something.

        I don't know if it's only horse people or not..certainly because of my work, it's horse people I hang out with the most. I wonder if a book of farrier stories about bizarre people would sell or not? I'm sure all farriers could chime in with some amazing ones...we get to see so many people in the course of a trim/shoeing cycle and visit a lot of barns.

        I've been in some weird barns too as a boarder in the past. I remember one in particular where the barn manager/owner would eavesdrop on our conversations on her barn intercom...without our knowledge of course. I had been discussing a matter of how much our horses were being fed with another boarder...they were losing weight...and the owner confronted us and was very ugly after hearing us discuss the problem. I did not stay there long to say the least...

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