Why are so many horse people so deranged?

[Amwrider]

I love my barn! and my BO/Trainer!

Anyone that finds a way to create drama or "crazy" at my barn will soon find themselves on the way out. She's tough but fair and VERY horse knowledgeable. Love her.

But those are the ones that will turn on her. Dealing with that now.

[Equilibrium]

Ok, I will be the first to stick my hand up and say, yeah I do get along better with animals than people. And not that I don't interact with people on a daily basis because I do. I would not be the most secure person in the world and for me I know I can take care of my animals well and this makes me happy.

I laugh as I guess none if you worked at a racetrack. Two girls galloping at the same barn could work, but one was best. More than 2 and you will have drama. But the mostly male bosses seemed to love drama because they would create issues. Most of the time new girl was flavour of the month until things died down. Mind you the only time I whacked someone upside the head with my helmet is when I was the only girl rider in the barn. So yeah men love drama too. And of course it does take awhile to get used to a boss who throws things at people when he needs drama. At first you take it personally, then you learn to duck then ask him if he's done with his TT so you can get down to business.

Terri

[cloudyandcallie]

Because barns are female bastions of behaviour. Everything becomes emotional and personal. Who's popular, who supports who by knocking the "unpopular girl". Major cases of chronological adults acting like high school brats...the cheerleaders knocking the artsy-fartsy girls vs. the unpopular girls. No different.

It's very related to the case where a few women in a mostly male area will "civilize" the guys. A few guys at a barn will reduce the full out estrogen-attacks, we don't take most things personally and we don't put up with the "if you like me you can't be friends with her" blackmail.

I don't have to like my BO or my fellow boarders. They aren't my best buds...but I can deal with all of them without it being personal.

I agree. I went to grad school with all males, 3 of us women in 3 classes with about 500 or 600 guys. Then I worked in an office for years with all men 40 something men, till other women were hired. I civilized the men.

At barns women tend to bring their problems to the barn instead of using the horses to forget about other issues. And BOs tend to stir up things. I was at one barn where the BO did not allow crap, and everyone was much better towards each other.

Of course a lot of people in the general population are nuts too. Just at a barn we're trapped till we get on our horses and get out of the way.

I think women are taught and conditioned to snark at other women, whereas men just fight and shoot each other. Hmmm maybe arguing isn't that bad.

[Canaqua]

Not that there is a shortage of crazy people in the horse industry, but in the case of the reviews posted on a web site and some of the blowups here, it may be as much or more a function of craziness on the Internet. I see craziness all over it, on other boards I read that have nothing to do with horses or animals and other review sites. Something about the immediacy of just typing something up without having to think first AND the ability to do it anonymously, encourages many people (who may seem normal in real life) to behave in a really abysmal fashion.

My town has a web board and I see postings from neighbors that have really shocked me in their judgment or nastiness, when I KNOW these people to be pleasant and have appropriate social skills in real life. It's not anonymous either, so just not seeing their "opponent" face to face or hearing their tone of voice must bring it out too.

[jlrcoats]

Ahhhh this is why after many years of boarding I have my own place. I have turned down many people wanting to board at my place......just because of this.
As for showing been there, done that, lots of crazies out there. I now do endurance riding and have to say it is a pretty sane fun crowd. (pretty much but every sport does have its loonies!)

[WildBlue]

But I think it is a general rule that crazy people are often drawn to animals because they can't relate to people, and also that people are generally less professional in the horse industry than in many others because for most people, it is a hobby.

Agreed, and I'll throw in another pull for the socially maladjusted--the ego boost of dominating and controlling an animal as large and strong as a horse. Horses also have a 'cool factor' unmatched by any other pet, except maybe some large, aggressive dogs and exotics like big cats.

[acoustic]

You know, I always used to wonder this myself (why are horse people so crazy?) but I have come to the realization that most people have a crazy streak and they often use their hobby as a vessel. Some are a good crazy, others are not, and even fewer are still quite level headed. I've worked for and with a few crazy horse folks (western and english world), and even more crazy not-horse folks.

I know that women get a bad reputation in general, and while it may be deserved at some point and in some situations, having worked most of my life in restaurants, I will tell you that boys love drama as much as most girls. Not all do, mind you, but not all girls like it either (I personally hate it. Really and truely).

I love my barn. I have been there for four years and while I've seen the crazies come a go (and scared a few of them enough to have them keep their distance. I'm sure they found be as equally crazy, although I behave so knowingly and for the good cause of getting them to leave me in peace), it has usually been a lovely, low-key place with only two boarders and four-five horses all together and where both my horse and myself and my husband are treated like family. God bless em'!

[saultgirl]

I was sent a link to reviews for a boarding facility that I used to board at a few years back. When I left that place, it was seriously on the decline and it was due to the poor management practices and even worse horse management. Well, according to the reviews posted, it got even worse and I had heard through the grapevine that AC had made some visits, but I didn't know that for sure. I am not surprised in any case. As I read through these reviews, some were relatively objective, but a lot of them were personal attacks on the barn owner, her staff, and her boarders. While there is no love lost between BO and I, I couldn't help but to be so put off by the postings of these disgruntled ex-boarders and the BO and her sycophants. It really was laughable, except for the poor animals that had to deal with all these psychos.

I guess I just didn't understand what any of these individuals thought they were gaining by posting all this dirty laundry on a site created to showcase businesses. I really had and still have nothing positive to say about the facility in question, but I surely didn't feel the need to add to this barrage of insults and accusations and have moved on past that time in my life. This type of situation happens time and time again, and can often be found on this board. What is it about horses that causes people to revert to high school behavior and to just be ugly to others and lose all self-control and civility? If I had never been around the horse world and happened across that series of posting that was sent to me earlier, I would think horse people are crazy and deranged.

I wonder if some of those posters were ones that did not get out of the boarding situation unharmed? Ones whose horses were ill or injured because of the problems there?

[Ajierene]

I laugh as I guess none if you worked at a racetrack. Two girls galloping at the same barn could work, but one was best. More than 2 and you will have drama. But the mostly male bosses seemed to love drama because they would create issues. Most of the time new girl was flavour of the month until things died down. Mind you the only time I whacked someone upside the head with my helmet is when I was the only girl rider in the barn. So yeah men love drama too. And of course it does take awhile to get used to a boss who throws things at people when he needs drama. At first you take it personally, then you learn to duck then ask him if he's done with his TT so you can get down to business.

HA! This reminds me of deployment. Male dominated job. The first week I spent getting used to the 'high school' environment the boys created. The next few weeks were what they were. Then, the boys started to complain to the supervisor that 'so and so was being mean to me!'

The supervisor explained that nothing had changed from week 1 to week 7 and had a discussion during one of the briefings about not being babies.

You want drama - go to a male dominated area, especially one where you are together more often. Fire stations and some cop shops are the same.

The other area you experience problems like this are hobby areas where you have people in high stress jobs trying to blow off steam in the spare 3 minutes a week they have. They tend to have a tendency to think their time is the only time that is valuable and their needs are the only needs that matter. They have 3 minutes to enjoy themselves, dag nabbit!

I think the trainer's (or BM/BO, whoever is in charge) attitude really sets the tone of the barn.

I will have to agree with this. The only place where I experienced any modicom of drama was the place where the barn owners (couple) kept either changing the rules or not obeying them themselves while screaming at people that were only doing the same exact thing the barn owners were doing. They lost two clients (one had 4 horses there, one had 3) and did not last long after that.

[LauraKY]

Not that there is a shortage of crazy people in the horse industry, but in the case of the reviews posted on a web site and some of the blowups here, it may be as much or more a function of craziness on the Internet.

So very true. Add anonymity to the mix and everything can really blow up.

One person in particular would have never said to me, in person, the things she said in email or on-line (or the way in which they were stated). So far, I've been blaming it on her age, but perhaps it's just because she didn't have to actually face me.

I can be extremely intimidating and use it if I need to.

If I'm angry about something, I may write an email without senders name in the send to line, save it as a draft and wait until the next day.

The only facility I can recall posting anything about other than positive feedback is the mouse problem at Maker's Mark Secretariat Center, which truly horrified me for a multitude of reasons.

[wildlifer]

I agree, AJ -- I'm not sure why Trak seems to have such a problem with women, but I'll tell you what, I am a woman working in a male dominated field (no women in my office, only three women in the whole state in our division. And there is a LOT of freaking drama and whining. Crazy and whiny have nothing to do with gender at all, so all you guys out there who think you have some sort of exempt card, HA, so not the case!

And and for the person who has never seen drama at Western barns....come down here, there is plenty to go around. Crazy, neglect, abuse of horses, feuds, oh they have it all.

[LexInVA]

And people wonder why I keep to myself for the most part....

[clanter]

You know, I always used to wonder this myself (why are horse people so crazy?) but I have come to the realization that most people have a crazy streak and they often use their hobby as a vessel.!

Yeah, I was thinking boat ownership pretty much parallel horse ownership, they throw money into a hole in the water where as we watch ours getting eaten up by some four footed thing and both will proudly say mine is better than yours

[chemteach]

If you think "horse people" are bad, try "dog people." Like nothing I have ever seen.

[cloudyandcallie]

If you think "horse people" are bad, try "dog people." Like nothing I have ever seen.

Don't dog people usually do their craziness in marital pairs? I know at dog shows, there's usually the husband and wife or the partners who are crazy. Women at barns hardly ever have a male to assist in craziness. And the primping, yikes.
(Except of course my Las Rocosa breeders.)

[kmw2707]

Reading all this makes me really glad that I haven't had to board elsewhere since the late 1980's.

I am now a barn owner and have boarders. Albeit a small facility, I have never had a problem. I started taking boarders in 1991, never advertised, always word of mouth.....barn is always full. No Drama either.

I just don't get how adults can be so childlike!

[elysian*fields*farm]

I don't have to board any more, either- and really only had to board for about 3 years, but it was not a pleasant experience, at times, in either place. I am so glad that now it's just me and the horses, dogs and cats.

But I don't think that horse people are any more crazy than people in general. People are social animals, and many depend of various kinds of "feedback" from others to reassure themselves that they have "worth." Many people are interested in gaining power and or prestige to feed their egos- a sort of reassurance that they are "okay" because they have more influence than someone else, or get their "way' more than anyone else.

I have seen this principle in operation every where from schools, to the workplace, to social groups to various organizations, to our very own governmental system-- and even at church-- so why would a boarding barn be any different??

In fact, just look at how this dynamic often comes into play on the coth forums, for that matter.

No, I don't think horse people any more "crazy" or "deranged" than any other given group of people. Don't get me wrong - I like people-- just not in groups.

[chemteach]

Don't dog people usually do their craziness in marital pairs? I know at dog shows, there's usually the husband and wife or the partners who are crazy. Women at barns hardly ever have a male to assist in craziness. And the primping, yikes.
(Except of course my Las Rocosa breeders.)

Not necessarily; I see many lone crazy dog women with hoards of dogs looking forward to their next young "hopeful."

[JanM]

Some places just attract drama, and it doesn't seem to matter what the facility is for (horses, other sports, hobbies). Some people probably would react differently if the mix of personalites or situations were different. I think that someone who is a fanatic about a certain subject brings a certain passion and emotion to the situation that they probably wouldn't have in other situations. And I've been in situations that allow drama and gossip, and when it's encouraged the atmosphere can go downhill very quickly. I also think that if someone starts a little drama and it's made clear that this isn't tolerated that they will either dial it back, or leave for another situation where they can bring the drama out.

[brightskyfarm]

Great reading, and even better psyche study.

The best barns Ive been at were professionally run, and tolerated -0- bad behavior. Some barns, I moved through like a revolving door and always due to bad management (barn and people alike). Some never made it past the initial interview.

Someone else like me was raised *military*, so for us, life is simple, and behavior is appropriate -- I don't engage in drama and that in itself draws more as those issuing it take great offence when I don't rise to the occassion to participate.

Now, I have my own training farm, people and horses are wonderful --- my work?? well, ..imagine 26barns with 50 stalls ea..and trainers from across the nation, all with their own ideas from how a horse should be trained to a shedrow raked. (EEK!!) dodging crap there is an art!

Birds of a feather, flock together.