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Help me not be a doormat..Going to court

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  • Help me not be a doormat..Going to court

    Nothing fancy but uber safe. Safe stalls, pastures, ring, parking etc. Feel bad for a horse acquaintance, she's younger, just got married blah blah,works for my trainer of 30 some years. Can not longer afford the A show barn etc.New person is behind in board and I have to chase her every month and beg (so I feel like a jerk). Plus, I am asked to change blankets, and close doors, she asked me and one of the kids to hose his legs one day........... still I keep quiet. I ask for last months board and she says she'll try, then goes to 2 lessons and posts on Facebook she is showing at an A show this weekend in A/O/s.

    Really? How stupid am I (rhetorical, please don't answer).

    So- there is no good way out of this.Since I asked Monday for money- if she shows this weekend- should I tell her to go? There is no good way out of this for me but she is costing me money out of my own pocket to feed her horse! ( no contract, I know , how dumb.)

    I know the answer, I just needed to rant...
    Last edited by Pennywell Bay; Dec. 31, 2010, 12:06 PM.
    Come to the dark side, we have cookies

  • #2
    She's more than 30 days delinquent? Forget whether she goes to shows or not. Give her notice to leave.

    If you want to be REALLY nice, give her thirty days to pay what's owed and the board that would be due at the end of the thirty days or she's gone.
    Author Page
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    • #3
      Originally posted by danceronice View Post
      She's more than 30 days delinquent? Forget whether she goes to shows or not. Give her notice to leave.

      If you want to be REALLY nice, give her thirty days to pay what's owed and the board that would be due at the end of the thirty days or she's gone.
      I totally agree. You can't let this get anymore out of hand. And, if she does pay up, you may want to consider a written contract as a condition of her staying. Stipulate in that contract day board is due, when it is late, and what the daily late fees will be. If you are going to have boarders, you have to protect yourself. Good luck.
      www.Somermistfarm.com
      Quality Hunter Ponies

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      • #4
        Granted, where I board is a self-care BUT the situation is the same and if you do not Nip It In The Bud now, you'll wind up like the farm manager:

        Fellow borders (husband and wife) with three paint geldings. His pay was cut. Her pay is way down due to lack of clientele (dog groomer). So they're behind on board. "How much are they behind?" I hear you say. "Four months," says I, which is $1,200!

        Why are they so far behind? It's because the farm manager doesn't have spine enough to hold them to their contract that says: $5 late fee PER DAY for every day board is late (so, let's see... that technically makes what they owe $1,725) -OR- The horses are held under a Stableman's Lien, advertised in the newspaper and auctioned off to earn some of the back board.

        Now they're avoiding his phone calls, only coming to the barn at 4am or 11pm (or later) and stealing hay because, oh yeah, they have no money for that either.

        Learn from someone else's fail.
        <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

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        • #5
          Trust me. Nip it in the bud now, or it will only get worse. Much, much worse. I would give her an ultimatum though if you haven't already -- payment in three days, or payment plus horse gone at the end of the week.

          But don't let the horse go until she pays you, or you will never be paid. Padlock her stall if you have to.

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          • #6
            As a young, married woman who wants to show but likes to see her horses fat, sassy, and well taken care of better--that kid's got her priorities way screwed up. She needs to be told to pay up and get out or her horsie's getting sold. She's using you and she knows it. Don't be a doormat!!

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            • #7
              I try to think about my good boarders who pay on time, are thoughtful and considerate and a joy to be around.

              Then I think about how unfair it is to them that this irresponsible, selfish boarder is getting the lion's share of my time and attention.

              Ask her to leave. Be sure to get the money upfront, as others have said.

              There is no money in boarding as it is. Why let someone take advantage of you when you can have someone who appreciates what you do instead?
              http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

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              • #8
                You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, but this someone isn't anyone you should be stressing over. This someone is young, spoiled and apparently used to being "carried" from month to month, so I say let someone else "carry" her. You have done enough!

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                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  Originally posted by BaysnGrays View Post
                  You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, but this someone isn't anyone you should be stressing over. This someone is young, spoiled and apparently used to being "carried" from month to month, so I say let someone else "carry" her. You have done enough!
                  Ok- people- this is not me as an Alter. This is my friend and another board.
                  Come to the dark side, we have cookies

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                  • #10
                    When she goes to the show tell her not to come back, and put a lock on the stall door.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So- there is no good way out of this.Since I asked Monday for money- if she shows this weekend- should I tell her to go?

                      Check at the law library regarding your state laws and then follow them to the letter. Here in NV you are boarding/caring for a horse you AUTOMATICALLY have a lien against the horse and it is a misdemeanor for the owner to remove it without paying up or making arrangements to do so.

                      Make your request for payment in writing and keep a copy.

                      IF she pays up your next step should be a boarding contract (if you want to keep her as a customer) that is iron-clad in terms of payment schedule, late fees, what happens if she doesn't pay etc.

                      If she doesn't pay up go through the legal steps to kick her sorry butt out.
                      Colored Cowhorse Ranch
                      www.coloredcowhorseranch.com
                      Northern NV

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                      • #12
                        That's funny!

                        See, isn't it nice to have people who have your back rather than take advantage of you?

                        I had a boarder here that always had some excuse for not paying on time. One time she mailed the check to my farrier, another time she mailed me an empty envelope. Her favorite excuse was "I've had your check in my purse for the past 2 weeks". None of these excuses help me pay my hay guy or the feed store! The worst was that when she left, she had the audacity to tell me that she bought me a bottle of wine for Christmas, but at their Christmas party they ran out of wine, so she opened my present and they drank it! Really, why on earth would you go out of your way to tell someone that when you had no intention of replacing the gift?

                        The users will always have some excuse that sounds plausible. Really manipulative people have special skills that enable them to take advantage of others-especially if you have a soft spot.

                        Fill your barn with people who appreciate you for who you are and what you do. It sounds like you already have a boarder like that already!
                        http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by coloredcowhorse View Post
                          So- there is no good way out of this.Since I asked Monday for money- if she shows this weekend- should I tell her to go?

                          Check at the law library regarding your state laws and then follow them to the letter. Here in NV you are boarding/caring for a horse you AUTOMATICALLY have a lien against the horse and it is a misdemeanor for the owner to remove it without paying up or making arrangements to do so.

                          Make your request for payment in writing and keep a copy.

                          IF she pays up your next step should be a boarding contract (if you want to keep her as a customer) that is iron-clad in terms of payment schedule, late fees, what happens if she doesn't pay etc.

                          If she doesn't pay up go through the legal steps to kick her sorry butt out.
                          Yeah and if I remember correctly I think in some states after X period of time being behind, and multiple notifications and whatnot, the BO legally owns your horse if you don't pay up.

                          I'd tell her she has a few days to get me the money or I'm getting a lawyer. But then, I'm a meanie.


                          ETA: just noticed you don't have a contract. In that case, not sure what you can do legally. The lein/horse ownership deal might have to be written into contracts. You could always write up a contract real quick stating she's X days behind and has to pay up by X date or X will happen. Have her sign it and then at least you'd have her admitting that she is late on board, on paper.

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                          • #14
                            I would pull her aside ASAP - preferably before the show - and tell her that she owes you X. That you are no longer going to subsidize her lessons and showing. This may be a totally foreign concept to her, but in fact, you are. And then that she needs to pay up or you'll start using the other options available to you, including getting a lien or small claims.

                            And once she's paid up, get the contract signed that includes a late fee. Or tell her to move out. Good luck.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              From an old thread, if you are still in PA http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum//s...7&postcount=10

                              Good luck.
                              Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                              Incredible Invisible

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                              • #16
                                Post it on her Facebook wall that "you're excited about her getting to show after all! You knew she was worried about money, but now that she has enough to show right now, could she please pay you her back-owed board when she gets to the barn? She's a month behind. Thanks!!"

                                See how that goes over.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  We once had a boarder here who was chronically late with her board due to a terrible divorce, ex-husband not paying child support, unexpected car repairs...the list of excuses goes on and on. All of the sudden, she gave me her notice because she was putting her horse in FULL TRAINING to the tune of $900 a month (almost three times our board) and he remains to this day (a year later) at that facility on partial training board. Lesson learned: People "find" the money when they want to. Cut her loose and don't look back.
                                  JB-Infinity Farm
                                  www.infinitehorses.com

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    You are getting scammed. If she is taking lessons and going to a show, she can pay board. If she is 30 days behind on board, give her notice to leave. You are being way too nice!! You should have a late fee policy. If board isnt paid by the 7th of the month, a $50 late fee is applied, if they dont pay in 30 days, they are kicked out.

                                    Its hard to be the owner and enforce rules when you think someone is down on their luck, but this is how you make your living. If you dont get paying boarders, you will be the one down on her luck.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I really like the thought about telling her that if she loads up the horse and heads for a show without having paid you in full before departure that she needs to not be returning to your place afterwards.
                                      "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

                                      ...just settin' on the Group W bench.

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                                      • Original Poster

                                        #20
                                        Thanks for the replies. I feel stupid for not giving her a contract. I am not a "boarding barn" as I only have 2 people who have been with me forever and do a part self-care situation to offset costs. It really is not fair to them either because they always pay on time and the one who has 6 horses made arrangements early on to split her payment. I am so bad with confrontations regarding myself ( if this was happening to a friend- I'd be up in arms). The worst is I feel BAD chasing her down. One- I feel like a jerk Two- I don't want to hear her excuses to make me feel even worse.

                                        Time to put on my big girl panties and cowgirl up.. ( is it too early for a good stiff drink????)
                                        Come to the dark side, we have cookies

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