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HOW WOULD YOU FEEL???

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  • HOW WOULD YOU FEEL???

    Friend is going to put her 13 yr old horse down because she has hoof canker. Said horse is healthy just very sad due to lack of attention, care, and love. My farm has grass and is better for horse to heal.

    Horse comes to my farm and "friend" is going to take care of her. NOT... horse has had over 9 surgeries on my farm. Friend always has an excuse why she can't come and clean stall, etc. So hubby and I told her we would take her. We are her Heros....UGH! It has been 15 months of EXTREME CARE for horse...plus another surgery at vet hospital which cost OVER $1000. Horse is FINALLY SHOWING signs of healing. YEAH! She is healthy and very very happy!!!!!

    Just found out that "friend" got ANOTHER horse...has THREE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

    WWYD??? Let it go or confront friend that said she couldn't take care of said horse due to finances, etc. Also she said she would pay half of surgery. I'm a bit upset right now as the past 15 months have been hell having to wrap her hoof(s) EVERY FREAKIN DAY!! Not to mention the COST!!!!

  • #2
    You could see about filing a stableman's lien on the horse for unpaid bills. Then she couldn't put the horse down until you are paid, or you end up with the horse which you can then sell. Check your state's laws, because some would require that you sell the horse thru public auction (could be on your property as long as it is advertised publicly). Any amount received for the horse, over the amount of the lien amount/court costs/etc must be given back to the prior owner.

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, you asked for the horse and you got it.....unless you have something in writing about her responsibilities you are stuck. One possible option would be to file a board lien on the horse (laws vary from state to state as to what it takes to do this...here if you provide board and care you automatically have a lien and can foreclose on it at any point by going through certain steps), foreclose on it and have a sheriffs sale where the horse would have to sell for more than the bill...you bid on the horse for the amount of your bill. If no one bids higher the horse is yours. Unless you have some way to get legal ownership of the horse she can do as she pleases....it is her horse. You don't have to agree or like it or anything....you aren't in an ownership position so have no say.

      Not sure what kind of friend this is.....sounds kind of like a user to me. I'd be tempted to get in her face about the purchase of more horses when she has one at your place having surgeries and needing care....but it probably wouldn't do much good.
      Colored Cowhorse Ranch
      www.coloredcowhorseranch.com
      Northern NV

      Comment


      • #4
        Be careful of what you ask for, you just may get it. In this case the horse.

        Shake it off & walk away.

        Comment


        • #5
          Why exactly were you paying the vet bills for a horse you don't own? Seems like you had a hand in creating this situation. Grow a spine and haul the horse back to its owner and leave it there.
          I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            I didn't start paying until 4 months in when we told her we would just keep the horse. We were not going to let the horse be put down and wanted to do the right thing by the horse.

            Doing the lein is not an option...I know we are out the money. I guess I was just venting because she got another horse, yet she could not or would not care for this one. I do feel completely used and that really sucks. especially when everyone thinks she is all that.

            Comment


            • #7
              You keep using the words "my friend." She isn't your friend. You did a kind thing for a horse in need. Let that, in itself, bring you some peace on this. You did the right thing.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Futuresmom View Post
                Friend is going to put her 13 yr old horse down because she has hoof canker. Said horse is healthy just very sad due to lack of attention, care, and love. My farm has grass and is better for horse to heal.

                Horse comes to my farm and "friend" is going to take care of her. NOT... horse has had over 9 surgeries on my farm. Friend always has an excuse why she can't come and clean stall, etc. So hubby and I told her we would take her. We are her Heros....UGH! It has been 15 months of EXTREME CARE for horse...plus another surgery at vet hospital which cost OVER $1000. Horse is FINALLY SHOWING signs of healing. YEAH! She is healthy and very very happy!!!!!

                Just found out that "friend" got ANOTHER horse...has THREE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

                WWYD??? Let it go or confront friend that said she couldn't take care of said horse due to finances, etc. Also she said she would pay half of surgery. I'm a bit upset right now as the past 15 months have been @#!*% having to wrap her hoof(s) EVERY FREAKIN DAY!! Not to mention the COST!!!!
                I don't know why you are mad...no one held a gun to your head and made you care for a horse you don't even own,with a hideous,expensive,time consuming aliment except you...

                Maybe now you understand why people just put them down to begin with. Don't be mad that your charity for the animal went unnoticed.
                Were you doing it for the animal,for your friend,for yourself or for the promise of cash later??

                Tamara in TN
                Production Acres,Pro A Welsh Cobs
                I am one of the last 210,000 remaining full time farmers in America.We feed the others.

                Comment


                • #9
                  How would I feel?





                  I'd feel like a sucker.

                  Sorry your friend wasn't the person you thought she was.
                  Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
                  Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
                  -Rudyard Kipling

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Futuresmom View Post
                    I didn't start paying until 4 months in when we told her we would just keep the horse.
                    OK, so it's your horse. You said so, right there.

                    Therefore, she can't put it down and you get to pay the bill.
                    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      Wow Tamara...a bit harsh don't you think?...I would NEVER do what I did in the hopes for cash later. I went along with it as my husband didn't want the horse put down. It wasn't life threatening... I'm mad because the person didn't take proper care of her horse in the first place and that is why she ended up in that bad condition. The person said financially she can't take care of another horse..and now she has THREE! That is why I am mad. You know the kind ....get rid of them when they are useless or sick. Personally I don't feel that horses are throw aways animals.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blackhorsegirl View Post
                        You keep using the words "my friend." She isn't your friend. You did a kind thing for a horse in need. Let that, in itself, bring you some peace on this. You did the right thing.
                        That pretty well sums it up.
                        "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

                        ...just settin' on the Group W bench.

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #13
                          I was using the term "my friend" faciously...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Futuresmom View Post
                            I didn't start paying until 4 months in when we told her we would just keep the horse. We were not going to let the horse be put down and wanted to do the right thing by the horse.

                            Doing the lein is not an option...I know we are out the money. I guess I was just venting because she got another horse, yet she could not or would not care for this one. I do feel completely used and that really sucks. especially when everyone thinks she is all that.
                            I get it.

                            You took the horse when things looked dire for the horse. No one "made you"... but you did kinda sorta expect that your friend wouldn't kill a PITA on in order to buy a more fun/interesting one. You took her at her word (applying your own "softie" standards) and assumed that she would not have considered euthanasia if there were any money to use for treatment.

                            I'd feel like a sucker. I'd feel used, even though I knew *I* had a part in being used.

                            Personally, I'd end this friendship. I wouldn't make a big deal of it or explicitly tell her so. But the door would be quietly closed, you know? If she wants to know why, she can ask. Then you can decide what you'd like to say.

                            Your friend absolutely has the right to euthanize her horses or not. She has the right to buy more. It would just piss me off to have essentially paid for her to do that. Yeah it would piss me off, even if I were the sucker who showed up with hay and hoof wraps in hand every day.

                            JMHO, not a statement of "best practices" everyone should use.
                            The armchair saddler
                            Politically Pro-Cat

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Futuresmom View Post
                              Wow Tamara...a bit harsh don't you think?...I would NEVER do what I did in the hopes for cash later. I went along with it as my husband didn't want the horse put down. It wasn't life threatening... I'm mad because the person didn't take proper care of her horse in the first place and that is why she ended up in that bad condition. The person said financially she can't take care of another horse..and now she has THREE! That is why I am mad. You know the kind ....get rid of them when they are useless or sick. Personally I don't feel that horses are throw aways animals.
                              well, where do you want me to start my "mad at" list ?? the show jumper dude that owes me 5K for hay? the welsh breeder who told the world I didn't train her stallion to drive ? the woman with the 22K Fresian who still owes me back board? My zebra breeding friend who has managed to stunt a 6 mo?
                              who ??????

                              maybe I just don't get your angst/anger....you are a big girl, you helped the horse, you cannot ask for more reward than that ? or can you?? I suggest that you don't reflect on it

                              Tamara in TN
                              Production Acres,Pro A Welsh Cobs
                              I am one of the last 210,000 remaining full time farmers in America.We feed the others.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I would be upset that the friend behaved so irresponsibly and for the 3 horses she has now. However, you did what you did for the horse, not for your friend (I am assuming). So go give your new horse a pat and a carrot. Thankfully you have control over what happens to the horse now, and all that we can do at times is take care of our own animals.
                                It is very hard, I know. I grew up with an extended family that viewed animals as disposable. I loved animals from very early on, and it was hard for me to understand how people could be so mean to them, put them in danger, and be so cavalier when they became ill or died. I found out that I can't make other people feel the same way about animals as I do. Some people do, and others don't. I would, however, have trouble continuing a close friendship with this person. I have friends that have animals responsibly, and I have friends that don't have any animals, but I find that I don't enjoy close friendships with those that have animals irresponsibly.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  To help an animal who's owner would have it killed, hopefully will be a reward enough for you. Tell this person she owes you money and you'd like to see it.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by Tamara in TN View Post
                                    well, where do you want me to start my "mad at" list ?? the show jumper dude that owes me 5K for hay? the welsh breeder who told the world I didn't train her stallion to drive ? the woman with the 22K Fresian who still owes me back board? My zebra breeding friend who has managed to stunt a 6 mo?
                                    who ??????

                                    maybe I just don't get your angst/anger....you are a big girl, you helped the horse, you cannot ask for more reward than that ? or can you?? I suggest that you don't reflect on it

                                    Tamara in TN
                                    You sound pretty mad to me. Just sayin'... So what, you're the only one who gets to be?

                                    This person is not a business, can't right it off (financially), and thought this person was a friend and a real horse person. She is allowed to be disappointed. She gets to vent here just like everyone else.

                                    Who pissed in your Cheerios today?

                                    Damn, if anyone should "get" how she feels, it should be you - considering your response. What's up?

                                    SCFarm
                                    The above post is an opinion, just an opinion. If it were a real live fact it would include supporting links to websites full of people who already agreed with me.

                                    www.southern-cross-farm.com

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      [QUOTE]
                                      Originally posted by LLDM View Post
                                      You sound pretty mad to me. Just sayin'... So what, you're the only one who gets to be?
                                      no,I am saying that plenty of people get screwed in the horse business...she's not special, so quit crying about it...what does she want gratitude? money? a pinkie promise that the person will never get another horse again ???????

                                      This person is not a business, can't right it off (financially), and thought this person was a friend and a real horse person. She is allowed to be disappointed. She gets to vent here just like everyone else.
                                      she's not venting-she is asking for an opinion and
                                      if you think losses are just "written off" and that's that, you do not understand how business works..real farms have enough "write offs" that losses like the ones I described are never taken AND the if you do try,the IRS does not let you just claim they did not pay you, but they require court docs to prove same...ask me how I know.
                                      Who @#!*% in your Cheerios today?
                                      @#!*% , if anyone should "get" how she feels, it should be you - considering your response. What's up?
                                      for goodness sakes,if I wrote about every wanna be "horse friend" who turned into a either a professional liar or a total ding dong I'd be here for days...

                                      the real horsemen are dying,ding-dong wanna-bes breeding like feral pigs and someone is mad that yet another ding dong bought a horse and is not grateful for keeping alive a horse that the first owner did not want alive to begin with ???

                                      the question was "how would you (I) feel?" if <x>
                                      ok..
                                      I would not give a big rats @#!*% if the ding dong bought a trailer load of killers and dumped them in her single strand fenced doublewide backyard because I got enough to do seeing about my own.

                                      better ??

                                      Tamara in TN
                                      Last edited by Tamara in TN; Dec. 4, 2010, 07:21 PM.
                                      Production Acres,Pro A Welsh Cobs
                                      I am one of the last 210,000 remaining full time farmers in America.We feed the others.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Guin, what a weird remark. You would really take a horse that you slaved over to heal, that you took ownership of, and then to make a point with the previous owner, you would dump said horse into a god knows what situation? OP owns the horse now, what would be gained by dumping on the first owner?
                                        I get where OP is coming from. I bought a horse with someone for a resale project. Horse is cursed with bad luck. Other person just packed up her tack and left one day without a word. Now she is riding at another barn and paying to lease a horse, but she won't accept any financial responsibity for this guy here. WHF, indeed.
                                        www.ncsporthorse.com

                                        Comment

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