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My horse died last night - I don't know what to do. Pictures now included on page 5.

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  • #81
    Lammie, (((((((((HUGS)))))))))
    A terrible thing for you to have to go through.
    A terrible loss for someone so young.

    Take all the time you need to mourn this loss.

    No, you did not want to be there when they buried him. You do not want that to be the last vision you have of him. The one you have of him right now is tragic enough.

    I would put his pictures up all over your room. The good pictures. The happy pictures.
    Then I would take everything that belonged to him (feed bucket, boots, bridle, brushes, whatever) and very ceremoniously place them all in a box. Someday you will be ready to use some of the things in that box, and meanwhile you can have a really big cry as you collect and reminisce over each and every item.

    Take the time to cry HARD over this loss. You can never go back and mourn, and it will be easier if you can do it now so that you will be able to celebrate his life at a later time.

    And hooray for you for being such a responsible horseman and staying with your horse to the very end. Know that he found comfort in your being there with him when he was confused, scared, and in pain. There is a very special bond between horse and horse-person..... keep that memory sacred in your heart forever.

    KD

    AR Clique Member... and proud of it!
    www.starpointequestrian.com
    "Seasons will change, you must move on, follow your dreams!"
    AR Clique Member... and proud of it!
    www.starpointequestrian.com
    \"Seasons will change, you must move on, follow your dreams!\"

    Comment


    • #82
      I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost a horse before, and it is not an easy thing to get over. I don't think you actually every "get over it" but it does get easier.

      I know that your horse is grazing in green pastures, and will always be with you in your heart. I wish you well in these hard times.

      Comment


      • #83
        I completely agree that you want to focus on the happy memories and images. With time you'll be able to do that, too. The "memory box" idea is a great one.

        I've cried through this thread, and have such immense sympathy for you. People who don't love and bond with animals can't understand. But there are so many out here who do; just hang in there and know that we all think you're awesome.

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #84
          Adelita, I sent you 4 pictures of Sebastian. The quality is terrible and the photos arent great, they dont show his character or anything, they are just the only ones I have - thank you

          Comment


          • #85
            Lammie I'm so sorry for your loss, no words can say this. big hug to you.

            Comment


            • #86
              This is Lammie's sweet Sebastian.....God, he was beautiful.

              That's her boyfriend in the pic, too.

              >^.,.^<


              "If you can smile when things go wrong then you have someone in mind to blame."
              Attached Files
              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
              You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?

              Comment


              • #87
                Another....

                >^.,.^<


                "If you can smile when things go wrong then you have someone in mind to blame."
                Attached Files
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?

                Comment


                • #88
                  Another

                  >^.,.^<


                  "If you can smile when things go wrong then you have someone in mind to blame."
                  Attached Files
                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?

                  Comment


                  • #89
                    And another.....

                    >^.,.^<


                    "If you can smile when things go wrong then you have someone in mind to blame."
                    Attached Files
                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                    You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?

                    Comment


                    • #90
                      Lammie, I am so sorry for you loss. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. I have never lost a horse. I have 2 and know someday it will happen and I dred that day. One of my horses had colic surgery at age 19 he is now 24 and doing great but I didn't think he was going to make it through the colic. The scare of death was bad enough. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My thoughts are with you. ((((((hugs))))))

                      Comment


                      • #91
                        Hi Lammie,
                        I'm so sorry for your loss. (I am new to these boards). I lost my best buddy Cash, in almost the same manner. It was Good Friday and I went down to the barn on a beautiful morning, steaming coffee in hand, to feed the horses. Instead I found Cash down in the pasture, lathered and shaking, his back leg hanging at an awkward angle. Suddenly I realized I had to say goodbye. I gave him Banamine and spent an hour waiting for the vet to get there. I tried to remember the good times, tried to recall fun moments, but they wouldn't come. I couldn't even cry. When the vet put him down, Cash tried to support himself on the broken leg, and it cracked loudly. Then he died.
                        I had to wait six hours for a rendering truck to come, since it was Good Friday and I couldn't find anyone to come with a bulldozer and bury him. He lay there in the field with a cooler over his head until the rendering man drug his body up onto his truck and drove away. I did however, manage to braid his tail and cut off the braid to keep. I buried it near my other small animals so a part of Cash will always be nearby.
                        I've never had to put a horse down in an emergency. I put two of my other horses down but in those cases, it was my decision and it was time for them to cross the bridge - they were older horses and they were ready to go. With them, I had time to say goodbye, time to symbolically let them go, time to share my deepest love for them.
                        With Cash, the "letting go," is taking place now. He died, in my eyes, violently, making it even harder to let go of the regret, the shock, the simple, yet completely overwhelming sense of "aloneness" in my heart.
                        It's been almost three months and it's still hard to care for four horses insted of five. I keep Cash's halter out, his grain bucket still hangs in its place.
                        Lammie, you suffered a sudden, traumatic loss and you were catapulted into a heartbreaking situation that was completely out of your control.
                        You have a right to grieve and no one can tell you when it's time to stop. I can tell you however, that the tears will eventually subside and you'll remember your good friend with happiness rather than sadness.
                        And, there will always be a special place in your heart for your friend, a place no one else can touch, and that is where he resides right now, safe and sound.
                        Take good care.
                        SouvenirFarm.com: Rustic Wall Decor & Garden Accents | Gifts for Nature, Garden & Horse Lovers | MerryLegs Horse Christmas Stockings

                        Comment


                        • #92
                          Lammie, I am so sorry for your loss.
                          I'm typing this crying my eyes out for you.
                          The only thing that's going to help right now is time.
                          I know every minute feels like an hour and you wish you could stop the pain, but it won't go away.
                          Just remember as time passes, our wounds heal.
                          You will never forget, but you will learn to accept.
                          Both you and Sebastian are in my prayers.

                          Comment


                          • #93
                            Posting again to say that my heart goes out to each of us who have lost our precious friends.

                            Lammie, the flashback will rerun in your head a lot before it lessens. I still keep seeing it every night when I go to sleep, but I do believe that they know exactly what we are telling them, word for word, and I know that in Willem's case, he had a smile. Because the pain was now over.

                            Like Souvenir, I sat with him for a long time, but left before the truck came. I held his head and I cried and I screamed and I sobbed, and all I can tell you is that it feels much better to let it out than it does to hold it in. And let it out, and let it out, and let it out. As often as you need to, as loud as you need to.

                            Sebastian - what a beautiful horse. My heart breaks for you that he is gone, but you were both so very lucky to have had each other in your lives.

                            Comment


                            • #94
                              Oh Lammie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Sebastian. I just welled up in tears reading through this thread. Take the time to grieve and eventually, you will be able to reflect on the wonderful times you shared with your friend and you'll be able to smile again.

                              Take care of you!

                              ******
                              Nuts for Chestnuts & Bay All the Way!
                              Member of the Thoroughbred Clique ~ Plain Bay TB Clique
                              ******
                              Shadow Dancer 2/17/91-12/23/10 - My Horse, My Heart <3

                              Comment


                              • #95
                                Lammie,

                                This is every horseowner's worst nightmare. I'm so sorry you are going through it. Your beautiful horse is free from the fear and pain now and running with his new friends. He'll be waiting for you and someday you will ride together again.

                                Sending you hugs and hopes that time will soften the pain.

                                "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
                                -Louisa May Alcott
                                "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." ~ Jack Layton

                                Comment


                                • #96
                                  Oh Lammie this must be just heartbreaking for you, rarely have I been touched so much by someone's posts. I am so sorry.

                                  This is going to sound weird, but maybe cleaning his bridle might help you get some kind of closure? At the very least it might let you stop thinking of all the things you were going to do before it happened.

                                  I have no stories to help you out but just know there are lots of people around the world right now (really! the internet is such a cool place) that are thinking of you in this hard time, and you WILL get through this.

                                  **Member of the Ocularly Challenged Equine Support Group**
                                  **Member of the Ocularly Challenged Equine Support Group**

                                  Comment


                                  • #97
                                    So sorry for your loss

                                    Comment


                                    • #98
                                      Oh, Lammie, I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. What a traumatizing, terribly sad 24 hours...

                                      Sebastian was a gorgeous fellow, and obviously very well taken care of. He was fortunate to have had you as an owner, and you were fortunate as well.

                                      Do what you find you need to do to grieve. Cry, write, draw, exercise, be creative...make a collage of his photos, ribbons, old horseshoes...do what YOU need to do.

                                      And know we're here with you, and for you.

                                      I used to think the world was against me. Now I know better...some of the smaller countries are neutral.
                                      SA Ferrana Moniet 1988-2011
                                      CP Trilogy 2002-2015
                                      My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        #99
                                        I still dont know what to do. I miss him so much, I think Im still in shock - like this is all a bad dream and I will wake up and go pet my fat happy boy in his feild tomorrow. I went and sat and cried on his grave today - his halter and feed bucket and everything was set aside in the barn this morning, it was terrible. I just wish he'd come back, I want to go dig him up and hold onto him and beg him to come back - he's just a baby, 11, he didnt need to die. Im also sad because I dont have many pictured of him, and very few of me on him, I just miss him terribly. I have to work in the morning and unfortunatly my friend cant help me so I am taking my dog with me, maybe he will help, but I doubt it. Thank you for your support, I really really need it.

                                        Comment


                                        • Oh Lammie
                                          ((((((((((HUGS))))))))
                                          Hang in there, and keep talking about it. Don't hold it all in. And you did a wonderful thing.
                                          It will get better, I promise. Feel free to PT me or even call, I can give you my cell #.
                                          Hang in there.
                                          Love and hugs,
                                          Mare

                                          If riding were all blue ribbons and bright lights, I would have quit long ago.
                                          ~George Morris
                                          If riding were all blue ribbons and bright lights, I would have quit long ago.
                                          ~George Morris

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