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So sad for such a dumb reason.

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  • So sad for such a dumb reason.

    I just called the vet's office and paid off the final amount on the bill I racked up in the final months of my lovely old man's life. We didn't do anything drastic, but months of Gastrogard, Naxcel for random infections, tons of bloodwork, weekly (or more) vet visits for abcesses and other minor problems, etc etc etc really ran my bill up by the time we put Rebuff down last January.

    For a year and a half, I've been calling every month and making a payment on the bill. I just called and made the final payment. Now I'm sitting at my desk in tears. I used to joke that Rebuff lived on through his vet bill...but it was really sort of true.

    This seems like a stupid thing to cry over (hello? I paid off the bill!), but I knew that the COTHers would understand.
    In memory of Rebuff (1974-2009)

    Rest in peace, my sweet man

  • #2
    That would make me cry too. Makes no sense. But grief is hardly a logical process.

    (((HUGS)))
    ==================
    Somehow my inner ten year old seems to have stolen my chequebook!

    http://reriderandpony.blogspot.com/

    Comment


    • #3
      Prayers

      I know just how you feel. Your boy has still kind of been "with" you and now you have to really deal with the loss. I just put an old girl down two weeks ago. It was time, past time, but it is still so painful. My thoughts & prayers are with you. Time does not make it go away, but it does lessen the sharpness of it. Take care.
      www.Somermistfarm.com
      Quality Hunter Ponies

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      • #4
        Not Dumb At All ~ Hugs ~

        Thougts and prayers and hugs for you ~ I understand completely as I still can not even look at the final bills ~
        RIP Rebuff ~
        Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "

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        • #5
          I think that it's the finality of things that make us cry. This was the final vet bill. I would cry, too.

          (((((((hugs))))))) to you.
          http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Yep, totally understandable emotion. The vet bill was a tangible connection. Without it there is no longer a bridge between "before" and "after".
            Sheilah

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            • Original Poster

              #7
              Thanks so much for the kind words, and for understanding - that's why I love COTH - everyone gets it. I really appreciate you all.
              In memory of Rebuff (1974-2009)

              Rest in peace, my sweet man

              Comment


              • #8
                Awww. Makes perfect sense to me.
                If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Chaila View Post
                  That would make me cry too. Makes no sense. But grief is hardly a logical process.

                  (((HUGS)))
                  Yes. So sorry.
                  www.specialhorses.org
                  a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Isn't a dumb reason at all. Its one of the last "connections" you have to him, and it's over now - I'd be a mess, too.

                    Big hugs to you today.

                    (And congrats on getting the bill paid off, even if it is bittersweet.)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lovemyoldguy View Post
                      I just called the vet's office and paid off the final amount on the bill I racked up in the final months of my lovely old man's life. We didn't do anything drastic, but months of Gastrogard, Naxcel for random infections, tons of bloodwork, weekly (or more) vet visits for abcesses and other minor problems, etc etc etc really ran my bill up by the time we put Rebuff down last January.

                      For a year and a half, I've been calling every month and making a payment on the bill. I just called and made the final payment. Now I'm sitting at my desk in tears. I used to joke that Rebuff lived on through his vet bill...but it was really sort of true.

                      This seems like a stupid thing to cry over (hello? I paid off the bill!), but I knew that the COTHers would understand.
                      I'm so sorry for your loss I had a massive beyond massive vet bill on the loss of my horse... 6k. I paid almost all of it immediately, except for about $700 to an ahole vet who examined him first and gave him a bunch of drugs. This guy did not diagnose the problem and was a total jerk as well. So I avoided paying him. Well, push came to shove two weeks ago and I had to pay him. And it really, really upset me. Kind of has made it a fresh wound again. It's been almost four months.

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        Oh, Dauntless, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I totally understand how upsetting that last bill would be. Don't let it cloud your memories of your wonderful boy - just focus on the fact that you did everything you could for him.

                        Thanks again, all. I feel better knowing that others 'get' this. And as my sister just said to me in an email, paying off this bill is making room for the horse that I'll rescue some day. Rebuff is probably picking him out for me even now.
                        In memory of Rebuff (1974-2009)

                        Rest in peace, my sweet man

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by lovemyoldguy View Post
                          paying off this bill is making room for the horse that I'll rescue some day. Rebuff is probably picking him out for me even now.
                          So very sweet.
                          "Aye God, Woodrow..."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Everytime you paid his bill it made him feel "in the present" to you. Now he is moving to "in the past". Doesn't sound like a stupid thing to cry over to me. In fact, just thinking about that concept made my nose tickle a little, and I didn't even know him.

                            (((hugs)))
                            Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Boy, do I understand.

                              When I put my guy down, as I was sobbing, I told the vet NOT to send me a bill. For reasons that we all here understand, I just couldn't handle it. I asked that I simply get a call with what I owed and I would send them a check. I think that he was a little taken back, but, did as I requested. Still wasn't easy.

                              And I love the thought about using the funds for a rescue horse. I hope someday to mentally "be there" too.

                              Hugs to you.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Lots of nice sentiments here, I understand too. Big {{hugs}}.
                                Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                                Incredible Invisible

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  I too completely understand - I felt like a traitor cleaning my little horse's tack after he was gone, and sending his blankets out to be cleaned. It felt like I was washing away the last little bits of him... I was okay until I thought about it too hard, then the waterworks started. Logically, I know that cleaning up his things to maybe be used on another wonderful little horse someday doesn't mean that I am forgetting Peanut, but it was really tough...

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I'm so sorry but completely understand! These things sneak up on you at the oddest times. Grief is a difficult emotion to work through. I lost a mare a couple years ago. It was very sudden and tragic. A few weeks later, I was cleaning the bridle I used on her, and totally lost it, and an entire year later, I was lunging another horse at the barn and completely lost it.

                                    Just let it happen. It's much healthier to get it out than to try and fight it or suffocate it, and you will recover faster. It never goes away completely, but it gets easier with time.
                                    Strong promoter of READING the entire post before responding.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I totally hear you. Just don't do what I did and leave the necropsy report lying around so you can trip over it while trying to clean up a stack of papers. *headdesk*
                                      Originally posted by HuntrJumpr
                                      No matter what level of showing you're doing, you are required to have pants on.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        I'm so sorry. That would have me feeling sad too.
                                        Any time someone talks about their horse in a bar, there's love in the room.

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