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Fitting square pegs into round holes

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    Original Poster

    #21
    Originally posted by Arelle View Post
    Drives me nuts; the only time I can see it applicable is if what the person wants doesn't exist. For example, the boarding option - I want to find a barn with x ammenities within 15 miles of y. Okay, well I've lived here my whole life and that doesn't exist, but here's everything on your list at 25 miles out.

    As a tangent story (quit reading if you're busy), I had to laugh the other day when I went into the miniature horse rabbit hole. My husband bought me an AMHR gelding for my birthday last year and I want to show him, but I've been trying to find a trainer to help me - my entire life I've shown APHA and H/J, so I'm capable of doing it myself but I want my hand held the first season so I can ask questions, learn what judges look for, etc. I've discovered there are NO trainers within at least three hours of me in Dallas/Fort Worth - which is insane. BUT - one of the breeders locally that I had asked, I also made mention that if they ever got to a point where they wanted to sell a "broke to drive, amateur minded, pinto eligible mini" please let me know. (As they said that they usually had anything from foals to broke driving horses available for sale.)

    Their response was "do you want a mare, gelding, or stallion"?

    I guess it's a valid question, but it struck me so odd. I told them I didn't really care - I'm more concerned that it has a temperament that suits an haul in amateur and is safe and steady in a cart. Do they get a lot of people who are more concerned with it's sex than it's brain? How is that question number one from a breeder?

    I think they thought I was crazy for saying any of the above, since their response was basically a thumbs up symbol.
    Your story reminds me of when I purchased my first pet snake many years ago. I did my research and had a whole list of traits to look for in a pet snake: species with good temperaments, how to spot potential behavior and health problems, the best age of snake to acquire, etc.

    I showed up at the exotic reptile breeder's place to choose my snake and the first thing she asked me was, "what color do you want?"

    People are weird when buying animals.
    Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

    Comment


      #22
      What really gets me is the snarky responses if you politely decline their offer. The only time I put an ISO ad out on the dreaded FB it was for a very specific brand, size, color of 1/2 pad. I was in no hurry as this would just be a replicate back-up to the pad I already had and loved. Kind of a long-shot ISO and I would have been fine if the stars didn't align and the exact pad I was looking for didn't happen

      I got a bunch of responses that matched maybe 1 of my 3 clearly started requirements. I politely declined with an exchange that went something like this:

      poster: "I have a bright blue Ogilvy"
      Me: "no thanks, not exactly what I am looking for"
      Poster "Y not?"
      me: "Its not Mattes and it doesn't offer shims"
      poster: "y do you need shims? Its a good pad you should buy it. Your saddle doesn't fit if you need shims"

      I just eyerolled and stopped interacting. I'm not on a cheap used car lot - I don't need to explain to you why I'm not interested in whatever goods you are slinging. For this reason I still enjoy the ancient way of selling & buying on ebay, even though that landscape as changed drastically and its much harder to find consumer to consumer used goods there now.

      Comment


        #23
        Originally posted by Texarkana View Post

        You and ladyj79 bring up a good point. So many people are unrealistic with their expectations! I feel like this particularly true with boarding and horse shopping. Because in addition to your boarding example, people will post things like:

        ISO upper level prospect, between 5-7 years of age, over 16H, must be sound, sane, and have a recognized show record. Budget: $2,000.

        Not to sound agist, but usually the people posting stuff like that are teens and college-aged adults, still young enough to have big dreams without the heavy dose of reality that hits later in life.
        Ah yes. Saw one of these ISO ads yesterday “3’ packer gelding, 16.2 hands min, aged 6-10, no vices, no maintenance, must be gray or have lots of chrome, budget 3k” like I understand wanting a deal but this seemed a little over the top. The responses were equally bizarre.

        Comment


          #24
          This happens so much on a FB group I frequent. One poster said her higher-level jumper was perfectly broke and had exceptional flatwork, but she was finding he needed something just slightly stronger than a snaffle over the bigger jumps, had anyone dealt with something similar/any bits she should try? Cue 100 comments telling her to go back to flatwork and that if her horse couldn't jump a 1.20 course in a rubber loose ring she shouldn't be jumping at all (I'm exaggerating but... not by much).

          Comment


            #25
            When I was horse shopping I did the ISO on FB with my list of preferred criteria - Not under 14.3 hands, under 17 years, good mind, likes to jump, some maintenance okay, not interested in Arabians (nothing against them, just not a breed I was interested in), plays well with others, etc. I was in a position to buy with a healthy budget and received several suggestions but the one that I remember was "14 hand arabian gelding, 24 years old, western pleasure trained." Seriously, I hope that one was a joke.

            Comment


              #26
              Originally posted by ASB Stars View Post
              I understand exactly what you’re saying but it can be interesting sometimes…

              Case in point- I had a local trainer call me many years ago and tell me that she was looking for a horse for her client. Something 16 hands, prefer a chestnut mare, needs to be made. I said The only horse I have for sale is a 16.2 hand brown gelding, Green but Uber talented over fences. And they came over and bought him.
              I was looking for a 3 or 4 year old under saddle, and bought an unbacked long yearling - from you. No regrets.
              Janet

              chief feeder and mucker for Music, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now). Spy is gone. April 15, 1982 to Jan 10, 2019.

              Comment


                #27
                Originally posted by Janet View Post

                I was looking for a 3 or 4 year old under saddle, and bought an unbacked long yearling - from you. No regrets.
                I am so glad you had her. She was a grand mare!
                When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them- Maya Angelou
                www.americansaddlebredsporthorse.net
                http://www.asbsporthorse.blogspot.com/

                Comment


                  #28
                  Originally posted by 173north View Post
                  This happens so much on a FB group I frequent. One poster said her higher-level jumper was perfectly broke and had exceptional flatwork, but she was finding he needed something just slightly stronger than a snaffle over the bigger jumps, had anyone dealt with something similar/any bits she should try? Cue 100 comments telling her to go back to flatwork and that if her horse couldn't jump a 1.20 course in a rubber loose ring she shouldn't be jumping at all (I'm exaggerating but... not by much).
                  oh mannnnn, this happens so much in here LOL! I see the same people denigrating and shading on everybody's threads. And i personally feel that 'they' are inept riders speaking as-if they are superskilled. It's kinda funny really, but if this were FB i'd block them.
                  Consistency, Insistency, Persistency

                  Comment


                    #29
                    At a slight tangent, when marking university end of year exams, I used to give an automatic 10% to the students who actually answered the question. It was a bit surprising how many didn't.
                    "Good young horses are bred, but good advanced horses are trained" Sam Griffiths

                    Comment


                      #30
                      Emotions and desperation may be a factor in some responses. After no bites people may jump on *any* post/ad where someone is willing to buy.
                      i get that and feel for them. I think this how many people feel when looking for a job, need a job and apply for *anything*.

                      Personally I don’t read for comprehension when I’m too emotional or judgmental..
                      Sometimes I respond too quickly because I am eager to help.
                      When I’m particularly groggy in the morning I totally misread news headlines, sometimes what I interpret is hysterically funny (to me).

                      Comment


                        #31
                        Originally posted by ladyj79 View Post

                        To be fair, there are a lot of those ISOS that are asking about dc I always feel duty bound to point out that those unicorns dont exist
                        I had to read the post under yours to figure out what you were saying. This is nowhere near DC, around Chicago. Yes, people here have ridiculous requests similar to what the Redlei44 said, but that's the seeker being unrealistic, not the repliers. There are SO many people who just seem to want to name the barn they're at even though it's in the far west suburbs, when the poster wants the far north suburbs.
                        That's fine, many of us have slid down this slippery slope and became very happy (and broke) doing it. We may not have a retirement, but we have memories ...

                        Comment


                          #32
                          Originally posted by OTTBs View Post

                          I had to read the post under yours to figure out what you were saying. This is nowhere near DC, around Chicago. Yes, people here have ridiculous requests similar to what the Redlei44 said, but that's the seeker being unrealistic, not the repliers. There are SO many people who just seem to want to name the barn they're at even though it's in the far west suburbs, when the poster wants the far north suburbs.
                          I was making light of the fact that i personally feel compelled to respond to lots of these unrealistic barn iso posts on the chronicle of the horse, which is a virginia publication, so has a preponderance of DC metro posters, because they ask for unicorn barns around dc. Where I spent the better part of my adult life. I am sorry that was unclear.
                          Let me apologize in advance.

                          Comment


                            #33
                            When I first saw the title of this thread I immediately thought of a former trainer of mine that would never, ever buy a horse that was trained for the discipline for which it was intended. She bought barrel horses and tried to make them hunters, Arabs that had been shown English Pleasure and tried to make them jumpers, etc etc - I mean, think of a horse trained in some wildly different discipline and then try to make it something it isn't. And she - and her poor clients - wondered why nothing ever worked out.....hmmm, who would think, right? Or the woman I boarded with that wanted this: four year old 17.3 warmblood, jumping four feet or better. For $700. Never mind that on her best day and on the nicest most willing horse in the barn she couldn't get over two feet without having to be coaxed and then having a melt down that was what she was. going. to. get. Of course she was practically laughed out of existence by every seller, but she still she persisted. Finally, trainer (see above) persuaded her to buy an older dressage horse that hated jumping for about $2k. She was last seen trying to beat this poor animal into being a hunter and jumping. Poor horse.

                            But the problems mentioned here - I want X, you try to sell me Y are everywhere. I had to buy a car, and I told the salesman what I wanted (small used SUV) and he kept showing me small used sedans. I say "I want ABC." He says "Oh look at this Elantra or CIvic or Prius." Dude....no. The one that made me laugh was my neighbor wanted some small desk thing for her house. She posted on Facebook sales and got back some woman trying to sell her some baking pans. w....t....f.....lol.

                            And oh gawd yes...the snarky responses when you turn down their PERFECTLY reasonable suggestions........
                            "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
                            - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

                            Don't come for me - I didn't send for you.

                            Comment


                              #34
                              I can’t even read the ISO $1500 unicorn adds anymore in the horses of FL group. I’m afraid my eyes are gonna’ roll out of my sockets.

                              Comment

                                Original Poster

                                #35
                                Originally posted by Chall View Post
                                Emotions and desperation may be a factor in some responses. After no bites people may jump on *any* post/ad where someone is willing to buy.
                                i get that and feel for them. I think this how many people feel when looking for a job, need a job and apply for *anything*.

                                Personally I don’t read for comprehension when I’m too emotional or judgmental..
                                Sometimes I respond too quickly because I am eager to help.
                                When I’m particularly groggy in the morning I totally misread news headlines, sometimes what I interpret is hysterically funny (to me).
                                Very true! I’m also guilty of the same things, especially first thing in the morning!

                                On COTH, I know I’m sometimes guilty of reading the title of a thread and forming a response before I even read the details of the OP.

                                Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                Comment


                                  #36
                                  Originally posted by OTTBs View Post
                                  OMG this drives me nuts! "Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__." Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

                                  To be fair, I see a LOT of people post in location-specific groups (on Facebook) and then it turns out they're not looking for board anywhere near that location.

                                  For example, someone posts in a group such as Sporthorse Ocala (as in, specifically for Ocala, FL), doesn't provide any location information, then gets mad that people are suggesting barns in Ocala. Responders are apparently supposed to just know the OP actually lives three hours away and are looking for board in Tallahassee. Like hellooooooooooooooooo

                                  Honestly, even if the post lists a location, most people scrolling through aren't going to bother looking at it. if you're posting in a group that's for a specific city, they're going to assume your ISO is for the city of the group you're posting in.

                                  Comment

                                    Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Since I’ve turned this into a gripe fest of annoying things people do when buying/selling/advertising in FB groups:

                                    It kills me when boarding farms advertise in FB groups without giving a location! Isn’t location generally one of the top priorities when selecting a boarding farm for a riding horse? Even regional FB groups usually have a radius of a few hours drive time in any direction.
                                    Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                    Comment


                                      #38
                                      Because they are hoping someone else will see their comment and be looking for that particular item.
                                      Only two emotions belong in the saddle: One is a sense of humor. The other is patience.

                                      Comment


                                        #39
                                        Originally posted by Texarkana View Post

                                        It kills me when boarding farms advertise in FB groups without giving a location! Isn’t location generally one of the top priorities when selecting a boarding farm for a riding horse? Even regional FB groups usually have a radius of a few hours drive time in any direction.
                                        Not including location is probably one of my biggest peeves for ANY post - horse for sale, service, etc.
                                        I include location when I post.

                                        But maybe they're hoping it'll make people look at their farm page to find location, which will get their traffic stats up?? IDK

                                        Comment


                                          #40
                                          Originally posted by mmeqcenter View Post


                                          To be fair, I see a LOT of people post in location-specific groups (on Facebook) and then it turns out they're not looking for board anywhere near that location.

                                          For example, someone posts in a group such as Sporthorse Ocala (as in, specifically for Ocala, FL), doesn't provide any location information, then gets mad that people are suggesting barns in Ocala. Responders are apparently supposed to just know the OP actually lives three hours away and are looking for board in Tallahassee. Like hellooooooooooooooooo

                                          Honestly, even if the post lists a location, most people scrolling through aren't going to bother looking at it. if you're posting in a group that's for a specific city, they're going to assume your ISO is for the city of the group you're posting in.
                                          The ones I'm seeing are iterations of "Northern Illinois Horses" so that's a pretty big area. People do post looking for a shareboard without posting a location though.

                                          Originally posted by Texarkana View Post
                                          Since I’ve turned this into a gripe fest of annoying things people do when buying/selling/advertising in FB groups:

                                          It kills me when boarding farms advertise in FB groups without giving a location! Isn’t location generally one of the top priorities when selecting a boarding farm for a riding horse? Even regional FB groups usually have a radius of a few hours drive time in any direction.
                                          Umm, YES! And why do you have to PM for the board rate, why is that a secret?

                                          {sarcasm font} Of course, THEIR barn is so well known that they don't NEED to state the location! That's why they have to advertise for boarders!

                                          That's fine, many of us have slid down this slippery slope and became very happy (and broke) doing it. We may not have a retirement, but we have memories ...

                                          Comment

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