Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You're responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it--details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums' policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it's understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users' profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses -- Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it's related to a horse for sale, regardless of who's selling it, it doesn't belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions -- Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services -- Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products -- While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements -- Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be "bumped" excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues -- Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators' discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you'd rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user's membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

Fitting square pegs into round holes

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Fitting square pegs into round holes

    Why do horse people (and people in general) try so hard to fit square pegs into round holes?

    I see this so frequently on the social media horse groups, and even here on COTH from time to time.

    Fake Example:

    Person A: I’m looking to buy a 18” dressage saddle with a medium tree. Budget is $1000.

    Person B: I have a saddle that is perfect! It’s a 16” close contact with a narrow tree. Only $2000!

    Then occasionally, person B will keep pushing the sale and even get huffy when person A doesn’t bite. Or, person A edits the post to include an exasperated “ONLY REPLY IF YOU ARE SELLING AN 18” DRESSAGE SADDLE FOR UNDER $1000! I will delete all other responses!!!” Such messages are never well received, yet I also feel for the OP in those instances because it is helluva annoying when people can’t realize that what they are offering is not even close to what you are seeking.

    You see it with everything: horses for sale, farms for sale, boarding and training, tack, even general advice.

    Why do you think people do this?

    Are we as horse people worse than the general public about this?
    Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

    #2
    Ha, I agree that that is super annoying. I think in the case of social media, the people posting those not-even-close responses are just hoping that somebody else who happens to be looking for what they have will see it. I’m guessing they don’t really care if they annoy the original poster because that person isn’t their target audience anyway. I think it’s a side effect of so many ads/sales moving off searchable sites like Dreamhorse and onto the mess that is Facebook...people gotta hustle to get their items in front of potential buyers.
    Building and Managing the Small Horse Farm: http://thesmallhorsefarm.blogspot.com

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Texarkana View Post

      Fake Example:

      Person A: I’m looking to buy a 18” dressage saddle with a medium tree. Budget is $1000.

      Person B: I have a saddle that is perfect! It’s a 16” close contact with a narrow tree. Only $2000!



      Originally posted by Texarkana View Post
      Are we as horse people worse than the general public about this?
      I don't think so. I've sold a fair amount of household goods online, and bought, and it's the same scenarios. ISO Large bookshelf, brown. Replies with a white chest of drawers. Close enough, right?

      Also people asking unrealistic price and refusing to negotiate. The other day on Facebook marketplace someone listed some several-years-old water troughs for $10 more than they retail new at TSC.

      Comment

        Original Poster

        #4
        Originally posted by Libby2563 View Post
        Ha, I agree that that is super annoying. I think in the case of social media, the people posting those not-even-close responses are just hoping that somebody else who happens to be looking for what they have will see it. I’m guessing they don’t really care if they annoy the original poster because that person isn’t their target audience anyway. I think it’s a side effect of so many ads/sales moving off searchable sites like Dreamhorse and onto the mess that is Facebook...people gotta hustle to get their items in front of potential buyers.
        A very fair point.

        A friend of mine has returned to horses after a 20 year hiatus. She was asking me where to shop for horses today: websites, publications, etc. I had to LOL!

        I think people in general like shopping on FB because of the instantaneous results.

        I guess I’m wired differently than some in the sense that the hustle irritates me more than others, especially when it delivered inappropriately. Like... (another fake example) “I don’t care how nice your 2H bumper pull trailer is, I asked about buying a 4H head to head.”
        Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

        Comment


          #5
          OMG this drives me nuts! "Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__." Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

          Per your questions, I don't know. People are stupid and/or can't follow directions?
          That's fine, many of us have slid down this slippery slope and became very happy (and broke) doing it. We may not have a retirement, but we have memories ...

          Comment

            Original Poster

            #6
            Originally posted by mmeqcenter View Post






            I don't think so. I've sold a fair amount of household goods online, and bought, and it's the same scenarios. ISO Large bookshelf, brown. Replies with a white chest of drawers. Close enough, right?

            Also people asking unrealistic price and refusing to negotiate. The other day on Facebook marketplace someone listed some several-years-old water troughs for $10 more than they retail new at TSC.
            How annoying on both accounts. I guess the only thing I really shop for through social media is horse stuff, which causes my perception that we do it more.

            When I lived down south, there seemed to be a phenomenon that people would buy anything used at any price. Good deals were a lot harder to come by! Old, broken particle board entertainment center from Walmart at a yard sale? Obviously it’s for sale than more than it sells new... and even worse, someone buys it!
            Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

            Comment

              Original Poster

              #7
              clanter Do you mean in terms of riding? I agree you see it with horse owners and their horses’ jobs... yet that doesn’t bother me. As long as a person is not abusing their horse, what they choose to do with the horse is their business.

              But what does bother me is someone posting an ad ISO an English pleasure horse and 20 people respond with working western horses for sale.
              Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

              Comment

                Original Poster

                #8
                Originally posted by OTTBs View Post
                OMG this drives me nuts! "Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__." Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

                Per your questions, I don't know. People are stupid and/or can't follow directions?
                As much as I try not to make snap judgements about people, it leaves a bad first impression with me because I also question whether they are capable of reading or following directions.
                Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                Comment


                  #9
                  I understand exactly what you’re saying but it can be interesting sometimes…

                  Case in point- I had a local trainer call me many years ago and tell me that she was looking for a horse for her client. Something 16 hands, prefer a chestnut mare, needs to be made. I said The only horse I have for sale is a 16.2 hand brown gelding, Green but Uber talented over fences. And they came over and bought him.

                  There’s a saying in real estate “buyers are liars”. It applies to a lot of things.
                  When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them- Maya Angelou
                  www.americansaddlebredsporthorse.net
                  http://www.asbsporthorse.blogspot.com/

                  Comment


                    #10
                    People just don't read for comprehension and are too lazy to look at photos. This works both ways - when I was selling stuff I would list very clearly what I had along with photos and still get questions that were already answered in the listing. (Blue cob sized Hamilton halter for sale (with description of condition and photos) $12 shipped - people would ask what color is it? What size is it? What brand is it? And then be like never mind, I'm looking for a green oversized halter and I only want to pay $3.)

                    I would occasionally answer ISO ads if my item met *almost* all of their criteria - and I did sell some items that way, as not everybody is entirely set or strict on things like color or brand when they can get a good deal. But I would not offer something so wildly different as OPs example. I think sometimes people do that just to get their item in front of more eyes - many of the Facebook groups limit how often you can bump up your post, and are so busy that things quickly get buried. If you post it on a ton of vaguely related ISO ads, more people will see it.

                    My favorite thing is the crazy prices people sometimes ask. No, I'm not paying $45 for a dirty, faded used saddle pad that sells for $50 new.
                    Flickr

                    Comment


                      #11
                      So I posted a couple days ago on an endurance page looking for suggestions to hold a larger cell phone and must go at the top of the calf. I stated very clearly that I've had 3 horse holsters that have all fallen apart in record time and that I did not want to put the phone in the thigh pocket of my riding tights because A) it makes my phone sweaty from leg ick and B) my mileage tracking app gives me an incorrect reading when it's in a thigh pocket. Oh and also that holder needs to fit my bee meds.
                      I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket. Then when I was like, um no don't want to do that- I was told people don't get sweaty on their thighs and that I am reading my mileage wrong lol
                      No mourners, no funerals

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by OTTBs View Post
                        OMG this drives me nuts! "Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__." Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

                        Per your questions, I don't know. People are stupid and/or can't follow directions?
                        To be fair, there are a lot of those ISOS that are asking about dc I always feel duty bound to point out that those unicorns dont exist
                        Let me apologize in advance.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by ladyj79 View Post

                          To be fair, there are a lot of those ISOS that are asking about dc I always feel duty bound to point out that those unicorns dont exist
                          You beat me to it - was just thinking the same. Someone can ask all they want about boarding/training options within 20 minutes (heck, 45 minutes) of the downtown DC area; the plain fact is that there really aren’t any, particularly once someone adds in the usual “must have great turnout, must have indoor, budget $[below market]. I feel like most responses acknowledge that they’re not really meeting that criteria at the same time that they’re offering other suggestions.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by tabula rashah View Post
                            Oh and also that holder needs to fit my bee meds.
                            I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket.
                            Not to hijack the thread, but I also need to carry an epi pen. Did you get any useful suggestions???

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by TXPiaffe View Post

                              Not to hijack the thread, but I also need to carry an epi pen. Did you get any useful suggestions???
                              Yes- going to try the Cashel ankle safe one (the medium size looked like it would fit my phone best, and I went with the velcro style rather than the zipper). I thought it looked bulky on the photos of it online but then a friend showed me hers and it really wasn't.
                              No mourners, no funerals

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Drives me nuts; the only time I can see it applicable is if what the person wants doesn't exist. For example, the boarding option - I want to find a barn with x ammenities within 15 miles of y. Okay, well I've lived here my whole life and that doesn't exist, but here's everything on your list at 25 miles out.

                                As a tangent story (quit reading if you're busy), I had to laugh the other day when I went into the miniature horse rabbit hole. My husband bought me an AMHR gelding for my birthday last year and I want to show him, but I've been trying to find a trainer to help me - my entire life I've shown APHA and H/J, so I'm capable of doing it myself but I want my hand held the first season so I can ask questions, learn what judges look for, etc. I've discovered there are NO trainers within at least three hours of me in Dallas/Fort Worth - which is insane. BUT - one of the breeders locally that I had asked, I also made mention that if they ever got to a point where they wanted to sell a "broke to drive, amateur minded, pinto eligible mini" please let me know. (As they said that they usually had anything from foals to broke driving horses available for sale.)

                                Their response was "do you want a mare, gelding, or stallion"?

                                I guess it's a valid question, but it struck me so odd. I told them I didn't really care - I'm more concerned that it has a temperament that suits an haul in amateur and is safe and steady in a cart. Do they get a lot of people who are more concerned with it's sex than it's brain? How is that question number one from a breeder?

                                I think they thought I was crazy for saying any of the above, since their response was basically a thumbs up symbol.
                                Veni vidi vici. With a paint pony, nonetheless.

                                Comment

                                  Original Poster

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by tabula rashah View Post
                                  I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket. Then when I was like, um no don't want to do that- I was told people don't get sweaty on their thighs and that I am reading my mileage wrong lol
                                  Stuff like this KILLS me. Again, this seems like something horse people are particularly bad about-- not believing the OP. We are guilty of it here on COTH, too, and in general barn talk.

                                  Person A: "This bit doesn't work for my horse"
                                  Person B: "Clearly you are mistaken because I use the same bit and my horse loves it"

                                  (Substitute "bit" with just about anything and the situation still applies)
                                  Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                  Comment

                                    Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by ASB Stars View Post
                                    I understand exactly what you’re saying but it can be interesting sometimes…

                                    Case in point- I had a local trainer call me many years ago and tell me that she was looking for a horse for her client. Something 16 hands, prefer a chestnut mare, needs to be made. I said The only horse I have for sale is a 16.2 hand brown gelding, Green but Uber talented over fences. And they came over and bought him.

                                    There’s a saying in real estate “buyers are liars”. It applies to a lot of things.
                                    I agree that often buyers' minds can be changed.

                                    But at the same time, if someone is searching for a kid-broke pony under 14H and someone pressures them with a 17h, green OTTB... 99% of the time that is unproductive. I'm being hyperbolic in some ways, but sellers can be awfully pushy with inappropriate offerings and I personally don't believe it's justified by the Cinderella stories of the times when the unexpected happened.

                                    If I told my realtor I wanted to buy a 3br single family home in the town of Springfield with a $350K budget, it wouldn't be out of line to show me a 2br condo within my budget in the next town over. Yet if they showed me an 8,000 square foot mansion being offered for $2.5M in the neighboring state, that would be a waste of everyone's time. I feel like social media brings out a lot of sellers pushing equally ridiculous offerings.
                                    Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                    Comment

                                      Original Poster

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by furlong47 View Post
                                      People just don't read for comprehension and are too lazy to look at photos. This works both ways - when I was selling stuff I would list very clearly what I had along with photos and still get questions that were already answered in the listing. (Blue cob sized Hamilton halter for sale (with description of condition and photos) $12 shipped - people would ask what color is it? What size is it? What brand is it? And then be like never mind, I'm looking for a green oversized halter and I only want to pay $3.)
                                      This is so true. I actually once taught a lesson to my high school students about not doing this!

                                      I would occasionally answer ISO ads if my item met *almost* all of their criteria - and I did sell some items that way, as not everybody is entirely set or strict on things like color or brand when they can get a good deal.
                                      I think most people do this and understand this. If an item ticks 3 or 4 of the 5 proverbial boxes, there's a good chance it will work out for both parties!

                                      But I wouldn't have started this thread if that was always the situation!

                                      Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                      Comment

                                        Original Poster

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Redlei44 View Post

                                        You beat me to it - was just thinking the same. Someone can ask all they want about boarding/training options within 20 minutes (heck, 45 minutes) of the downtown DC area; the plain fact is that there really aren’t any, particularly once someone adds in the usual “must have great turnout, must have indoor, budget $[below market]. I feel like most responses acknowledge that they’re not really meeting that criteria at the same time that they’re offering other suggestions.
                                        You and ladyj79 bring up a good point. So many people are unrealistic with their expectations! I feel like this particularly true with boarding and horse shopping. Because in addition to your boarding example, people will post things like:

                                        ISO upper level prospect, between 5-7 years of age, over 16H, must be sound, sane, and have a recognized show record. Budget: $2,000.

                                        Not to sound agist, but usually the people posting stuff like that are teens and college-aged adults, still young enough to have big dreams without the heavy dose of reality that hits later in life.
                                        Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse just to be number two in her world... ~EFO

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X