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Funniest things you've heard kids say...

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    Funniest things you've heard kids say...

    New lesson kid today - 4 years old. As she is brushing the pony, she points to the dirt on his belly and says "How do we flip him over to brush his belly?" If only we would make clipping so much easier!

    I am new to the barn and new to English.
    The farrier calls all horses turkey, a groom calls them monkey's butt regularly.
    I think that is local speech, like big boy or such.
    One day there were some kids around when I called a horse monkey's butt.
    Next I know, this little girl is with her parents an one ask what is that horse's name?
    The little girl answers, I know, she called him monkey's butt.
    The parents acted shocked, I realized there was something wrong here.
    I asked around and then learned what monkey's butt really meant and that no, you didn't call horses that in polite company, oh, my.


      My 6 year old likes to "serenade" my mustang. She will take her guitar out next to the pasture and sing songs to her over and over. She says that she does it because it will calm her and let her know how loved she is. TBH my mare really DOES seem to like it....she's started looking for her and will come up to the fence while she plays and sings to her. I have no idea why or how she came up with it, but it's pretty darn cute.

      But the funny thing? She says "Now she'll let me ride her". No honey, she isn't even saddling yet. But she is very insistent that she can ride her because she knows how to ride (she's sat on a few very safe horses and been led around haha) and my mare likes her singing. Oh, if only it were that simple


        It’s always fun having the conversation with little kids when they see a gelding and they don’t have brothers.
        “Oh, you will have to ask your Mom about that”


          I board at a pony barn, so there are no shortages of kids saying the darndest things, but my absolute favorite happened many years ago when the younger brothers of two of the riders were "cleaning stalls" while their sisters rode. The boys were about 7 at the time and I was tacking up, so I could hear them, but not see them.

          Michael (in one stall): I'm going to pretend that this poop is meatballs and I'm picking it up for supper.
          Tyler (in another): Ugh. This poop looks like marinara. Wanna trade?


            Bluey, how many languages do you speak? I guessing more than two.
            (My Mom spoke 5, and my all-American Dad 6)


              Originally posted by Chall View Post
              Bluey, how many languages do you speak? I guessing more than two.
              (My Mom spoke 5, and my all-American Dad 6)
              Several, as most did growing up.
              BIG mistake, English was not one, as I ended up living here.
              That lack of real knowledge of English still trips me after all these years.
              Add that I am hard of hearing and all bets are off some times.

              Especially some kid's speech is hard to understand.
              Lucky that we have hands to add to what we say..


                Assuming you don't mean ONLY horse related.

                1.) This was around 30 years ago I was in the checkout line at the grocery store, busy time, lines at every check stand. There was a rather large lady about to check out next, then a man and his younger son, then my daughter and I. Someone's pager (that's right, pager!) in the next line over started beeping. The little boy said to his dad "daddy, does this mean she is going to back up?"

                We all were sucking our cheeks in trying not to laugh too hard but this cracks me up every time.

                2.) My g'son's friend, 3 YO, after his g'ma washed her face. "Gramma, your eyebrows disappeared!'

                3.) My own g'son, on the eve of his first day in kindergarten, "Momma, now that I am going to Kindergarten, I think it is time for me to try some more difficult yoga poses."


                  A young kid around 4 or 5 asked how to take the hooves off the horse.


                    Just last week, but niece (3.5yo) saw a picture of my horse drinking from the water tank and asked what he was doing. When I said he was getting a drink of water, she asked "So, he doesn't drink coffee?"
                    "Radar, the man's ex-cavalry: if he sees four flies having a meeting, he knows they're talking about a horse!" Cptn. BJ Hunnicutt, M*A*S*H Season 4, Episode "Dear Mildred"


                      Still my favourite, but not spoken.

                      My mum, head teacher at elementary school, has a totally irate parent barge into school demanding investigations, police action etc etc.

                      Mum gets them calm enough to explain the problem, and they pass over child’s work book, we here they have been doing measurements in class.

                      My book is 9”
                      My pencil case is 12”
                      My teachers penis 5”

                      Wait, what....

                      Things calmed down a lot, when it was explained, female teacher. Has a 5” long pen 😂😂😂😂😂
                      "He's not even a good pathological liar." Mara

                      "You're just a very desperate troll, and not even a good one. You're like middle-school troll at best. Like a goblin, not even a troll." et_fig


                        My friend's 4 year old daughter was very excited to come to the barn where I board my horse and 'visit' him. I was in the stall putting his halter on to bring him to the cross ties when I noticed her doing a full curtsy/bow to him. I was a bit mystified until her mom explained that the kid was 'bowing' to my horse's next door stall neighbor - who is a stately dapple grey and apparently resembled Buckbeak the hippogryph from Harry Potter! As anyone who has seen the movies or read the book, one must show respect by bowing to a hippogryph before you can pet or ride the beast. I told the girl that the horse was very honored.


                          Originally posted by BatCoach View Post
                          My friend's 4 year old daughter was very excited to come to the barn where I board my horse and 'visit' him. I was in the stall putting his halter on to bring him to the cross ties when I noticed her doing a full curtsy/bow to him. I was a bit mystified until her mom explained that the kid was 'bowing' to my horse's next door stall neighbor - who is a stately dapple grey and apparently resembled Buckbeak the hippogryph from Harry Potter! As anyone who has seen the movies or read the book, one must show respect by bowing to a hippogryph before you can pet or ride the beast. I told the girl that the horse was very honored.
                          That's great


                            Our son grew up on our little farm. When he was three, he was asked by Grandma what sound horses make. He rounded his lips and made a "pffooooo" noise, much like a soft horse fart....

                            At three, he also knew the proper names of things and that boy animals were built similarly to him. He knew animals were male and female. All well and good except during preschool (the short version they do a few times a week for socialization). He painted his Easter Bunny (which he told us he was doing to be nice to the teacher since he knew there was no such thing). "Why would a rabbit steal eggs from the hens?" he asked me, since we had both laying hens and he had a pet rabbit. So, he used the sponge to make white splotches on his paper, like all the other pre-school kids. Once it dried, they glued noses, eyes and whiskers on. But our son's bunny had an extra white splotch in front. "What is that?" his teacher asked. 'His penis", our son replied. I heard about it. Oh, did I ever hear about it. He used the proper term, so, we told him he was right. Clearly the Easter Bunny is referred to as a "he".

                            He conducted poop tours for his friends when he was five, He would lead them around, show them the animals, and point to poop piles....

                            Now, at eleven, he loves his horse and wants to train a wild burro on his own.