Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You're responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it--details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums' policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it's understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users' profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses -- Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it's related to a horse for sale, regardless of who's selling it, it doesn't belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions -- Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services -- Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products -- While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements -- Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be "bumped" excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues -- Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators' discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you'd rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user's membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

Funniest things you've heard kids say...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Funniest things you've heard kids say...

    New lesson kid today - 4 years old. As she is brushing the pony, she points to the dirt on his belly and says "How do we flip him over to brush his belly?" If only we could.....it would make clipping so much easier!

    #2
    I am new to the barn and new to English.
    The farrier calls all horses turkey, a groom calls them monkey's butt regularly.
    I think that is local speech, like big boy or such.
    One day there were some kids around when I called a horse monkey's butt.
    Next I know, this little girl is with her parents an one ask what is that horse's name?
    The little girl answers, I know, she called him monkey's butt.
    The parents acted shocked, I realized there was something wrong here.
    I asked around and then learned what monkey's butt really meant and that no, you didn't call horses that in polite company, oh, my.

    Comment


      #3
      My 6 year old likes to "serenade" my mustang. She will take her guitar out next to the pasture and sing songs to her over and over. She says that she does it because it will calm her and let her know how loved she is. TBH my mare really DOES seem to like it....she's started looking for her and will come up to the fence while she plays and sings to her. I have no idea why or how she came up with it, but it's pretty darn cute.

      But the funny thing? She says "Now she'll let me ride her". No honey, she isn't even saddling yet. But she is very insistent that she can ride her because she knows how to ride (she's sat on a few very safe horses and been led around haha) and my mare likes her singing. Oh, if only it were that simple

      Comment


        #4
        It’s always fun having the conversation with little kids when they see a gelding and they don’t have brothers.
        “Oh, you will have to ask your Mom about that”

        Comment


          #5
          I board at a pony barn, so there are no shortages of kids saying the darndest things, but my absolute favorite happened many years ago when the younger brothers of two of the riders were "cleaning stalls" while their sisters rode. The boys were about 7 at the time and I was tacking up, so I could hear them, but not see them.

          Michael (in one stall): I'm going to pretend that this poop is meatballs and I'm picking it up for supper.
          Tyler (in another): Ugh. This poop looks like marinara. Wanna trade?

          Comment


            #6
            Bluey, how many languages do you speak? I guessing more than two.
            (My Mom spoke 5, and my all-American Dad 6)

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Chall View Post
              Bluey, how many languages do you speak? I guessing more than two.
              (My Mom spoke 5, and my all-American Dad 6)
              Several, as most did growing up.
              BIG mistake, English was not one, as I ended up living here.
              That lack of real knowledge of English still trips me after all these years.
              Add that I am hard of hearing and all bets are off some times.

              Especially some kid's speech is hard to understand.
              Lucky that we have hands to add to what we say..

              Comment


                #8
                Assuming you don't mean ONLY horse related.

                1.) This was around 30 years ago I was in the checkout line at the grocery store, busy time, lines at every check stand. There was a rather large lady about to check out next, then a man and his younger son, then my daughter and I. Someone's pager (that's right, pager!) in the next line over started beeping. The little boy said to his dad "daddy, does this mean she is going to back up?"

                We all were sucking our cheeks in trying not to laugh too hard but this cracks me up every time.

                2.) My g'son's friend, 3 YO, after his g'ma washed her face. "Gramma, your eyebrows disappeared!'

                3.) My own g'son, on the eve of his first day in kindergarten, "Momma, now that I am going to Kindergarten, I think it is time for me to try some more difficult yoga poses."

                Comment


                  #9
                  A young kid around 4 or 5 asked how to take the hooves off the horse.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Just last week, but niece (3.5yo) saw a picture of my horse drinking from the water tank and asked what he was doing. When I said he was getting a drink of water, she asked "So, he doesn't drink coffee?"
                    "Radar, the man's ex-cavalry: if he sees four flies having a meeting, he knows they're talking about a horse!" Cptn. BJ Hunnicutt, M*A*S*H Season 4, Episode "Dear Mildred"

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Still my favourite, but not spoken.

                      My mum, head teacher at elementary school, has a totally irate parent barge into school demanding investigations, police action etc etc.

                      Mum gets them calm enough to explain the problem, and they pass over child’s work book, we here they have been doing measurements in class.

                      My book is 9”
                      My pencil case is 12”
                      My teachers penis 5”



                      Wait, what....




                      Things calmed down a lot, when it was explained, female teacher. Has a 5” long pen 😂😂😂😂😂
                      "He's not even a good pathological liar." Mara

                      "You're just a very desperate troll, and not even a good one. You're like middle-school troll at best. Like a goblin, not even a troll." et_fig

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My friend's 4 year old daughter was very excited to come to the barn where I board my horse and 'visit' him. I was in the stall putting his halter on to bring him to the cross ties when I noticed her doing a full curtsy/bow to him. I was a bit mystified until her mom explained that the kid was 'bowing' to my horse's next door stall neighbor - who is a stately dapple grey and apparently resembled Buckbeak the hippogryph from Harry Potter! As anyone who has seen the movies or read the book, one must show respect by bowing to a hippogryph before you can pet or ride the beast. I told the girl that the horse was very honored.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by BatCoach View Post
                          My friend's 4 year old daughter was very excited to come to the barn where I board my horse and 'visit' him. I was in the stall putting his halter on to bring him to the cross ties when I noticed her doing a full curtsy/bow to him. I was a bit mystified until her mom explained that the kid was 'bowing' to my horse's next door stall neighbor - who is a stately dapple grey and apparently resembled Buckbeak the hippogryph from Harry Potter! As anyone who has seen the movies or read the book, one must show respect by bowing to a hippogryph before you can pet or ride the beast. I told the girl that the horse was very honored.
                          That's great

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Our son grew up on our little farm. When he was three, he was asked by Grandma what sound horses make. He rounded his lips and made a "pffooooo" noise, much like a soft horse fart....

                            At three, he also knew the proper names of things and that boy animals were built similarly to him. He knew animals were male and female. All well and good except during preschool (the short version they do a few times a week for socialization). He painted his Easter Bunny (which he told us he was doing to be nice to the teacher since he knew there was no such thing). "Why would a rabbit steal eggs from the hens?" he asked me, since we had both laying hens and he had a pet rabbit. So, he used the sponge to make white splotches on his paper, like all the other pre-school kids. Once it dried, they glued noses, eyes and whiskers on. But our son's bunny had an extra white splotch in front. "What is that?" his teacher asked. 'His penis", our son replied. I heard about it. Oh, did I ever hear about it. He used the proper term, so, we told him he was right. Clearly the Easter Bunny is referred to as a "he".

                            He conducted poop tours for his friends when he was five, He would lead them around, show them the animals, and point to poop piles....

                            Now, at eleven, he loves his horse and wants to train a wild burro on his own.

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X