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Demanding Teenage Boarder - What Would You DO?

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  • Originally posted by JanM View Post
    It really stinks that the OP did a nice thing for someone, and was treated like this.
    Ehh. She was also paid, presumably. It wasn't just "a nice thing."

    There are 1000 posts on COTH about the pros and the CONS of boarding. Having a mouthy teenager sass you isn't the worst treatment a barn owner might receive.

    If this was my barn, I would have just told the teenager that horses get turned out, regardless of weather. The end. If you want show barn treatment, board at a show barn. In my barn, horses go out. (And I would have added in that horses usually don't mind being out in the rain or the mud, so long as they can get out of it at some point - and even then, many still prefer it to being stalled or using a shelter.)

    Hand grazing on the street....probably would never have been suggested. I wouldn't want someone holding onto a 1000 lb animal by a leadrope when not on my property for many reasons.

    Comment


    • This is an extremely obnoxious and disrespectful teenager.

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      • Lots of good advice here. I see the merits of both sides: get her out ASAP/give her due warning and time. I think a case can be made for either approach.

        However, the bottom line for me would be: is this reducing your comfort on and enjoyment of your own property? If yes, I would simply dispatch the whole thing as quickly and cleanly as possible and not look back. That is your home and your barn and your happy place. Do not compromise if it makes you less than content in your own home. Just give the notice you feel comfortable with and have done with it. Nothing is worth feeling ill at ease at home.

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        • Originally posted by Tarlo Farm View Post
          This is an extremely obnoxious and disrespectful teenager.
          Not really. There have definitely been tales of much more disrespectful teens than this one. Maybe a 7 or 8, but no means a 10 on the disrespect scale.
          Visit my Spoonflower shop

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Tarlo Farm View Post
            This is an extremely obnoxious and disrespectful teenager.
            Meh, I didn't think so from the examples in the OPs posts.
            However, the OP as BO gets to decide what is "obnoxious/disrespectful enough" to evict
            Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

            http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/

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            • Originally posted by red mares View Post

              Not really. There have definitely been tales of much more disrespectful teens than this one. Maybe a 7 or 8, but no means a 10 on the disrespect scale.
              i guess you would be willing to put up with that. Many of us would not. Disrespectful in any case.

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              • I have a motto...”. If I want to go in my house when you drive in the driveway, one of us has to leave. Since my name is on the deed and I pay the property taxes,it ain’t gonna be me”. I hope the OP is ok.

                Comment


                • In the great pantheon of obnoxious kids, this one is middle of the road at best. I work in a tack store, I see worse before noon every Saturday. For me, the bigger concern is the utter lack of response from the parent(s) to the OP's calls. Especially now with restrictions on access, a barn owner must be able to communicate with boarders regarding the well being of their horses. What if horse (or kid) was injured and Mom won't take a call from OP? That is simply unacceptable and to me, far worse than a little lip from a kid who feels entitled to an elite facility.
                  It sounds like a very nice young horse, maybe if it gets abandoned there the OP would like to send him to me?
                  F O.B
                  Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                  Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Nezzy View Post

                    i guess you would be willing to put up with that. Many of us would not. Disrespectful in any case.
                    I didn't say I'd put up with it, but there are much more entitled, obnoxious kids out there than this one.
                    Visit my Spoonflower shop

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by S1969 View Post

                      The OP already took it on. So yes, I do think she has an obligation to the horse not to abandon it on the street.
                      No, the OP didn't "take it on". She offered boarding, meaning the horse owner pays the bill.

                      No one suggested abandoning the horse. The question was short notice eviction, in which the horse owner takes responsibility for the horse.

                      A barn owner taking responsibility for the horse out of "obligation" to ensure it's care is rescue, not boarding. All barn owners with boarders need to be very clear on that. Rescue done privately is for those who can afford it. A rescue horse can be costly, and of course they take up space that the barn owner might wish to use for something else.

                      There are other ways forward for OP if the horse owners abandon the horse with her, and she doesn't want a free horse -- but no one has yet suggested that is likely to be the case.

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                      • Originally posted by OverandOnward View Post

                        No, the OP didn't "take it on". She offered boarding, meaning the horse owner pays the bill.

                        No one suggested abandoning the horse. The question was short notice eviction, in which the horse owner takes responsibility for the horse.

                        A barn owner taking responsibility for the horse out of "obligation" to ensure it's care is rescue, not boarding. All barn owners with boarders need to be very clear on that. Rescue done privately is for those who can afford it. A rescue horse can be costly, and of course they take up space that the barn owner might wish to use for something else.

                        There are other ways forward for OP if the horse owners abandon the horse with her, and she doesn't want a free horse -- but no one has yet suggested that is likely to be the case.
                        First of all, the boarder HAS paid the bill from what I can glean from the first post. No where has it said the OP is getting stiffed; just that it's not worth the money.

                        Second of all - what the OP has 'taken on" is a boarder without a contract that spells out the ground rules for boarding, as well as a termination clause. I am not suggesting that the OP keep this boarder, but am acknowledging that it could be tricky to get them out without a contract. I asked what would happen if the boarder had no place to go. I don't think saying "they will figure it out' is any different than abandoning them. At least, I would not do it.

                        Most likely there is a happy medium here; somewhere between keeping them and kicking them out in 30 days regardless of whether any other barn will take them.

                        Would be nice to hear an update from the OP - did she ever hear back from the mother?

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by red mares View Post

                          I didn't say I'd put up with it, but there are much more entitled, obnoxious kids out there than this one.
                          I agree. The kid sounds like a twat but definitely not the worst we’ve heard about on here.

                          Comment


                          • I don't care about any scale and if anyone has seen worse behavior or not. I'm a retired high school teacher. There need be no scale of obnoxiousness, nor a pass because one is a 7 instead of a ten. Obnoxious is obnoxious and needs to be called out and dealt with. Or there will be more and more and more of it.

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                            • Tarlo Farm is spot on right. Wish I’d said it first. Regardless if you are a paying boarder or not, you are still a guest on someone’s property. Airlines throw paying customers off airplanes.
                              Last edited by NaturallyHappy; Mar. 26, 2020, 05:12 PM. Reason: Because I just can’t type on my phone. I apparently cannot proof read, either.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by NaturallyHappy View Post
                                Tarik Farm is spot on right. Wish I’d said it first. Regardless if you are a paying boarder or not, you are still a guest on someone’s property. Airlines throw paying customers off airplanes.
                                I certainly don't think anyone has suggested that if a boarder is paying, they have the right to be an asshat.

                                The adult BO certainly has the opportunity to set the boundaries of acceptable, or not. It still doesn't change the fact that without a contract, evicting a boarder is more difficult.

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  Update... Mother returned my call the next day. She is a health care professional so is understandably busy. Bottom line, I told her that her daughter is apparently unhappy her boarding situation and that she needs to find another barn. I also mentioned the call from the neighbor regarding her daughter trespassing, and mother said that they would look at finding another boarding arrangement. Apparently the daughter stopped taking lessons because her mother told her that if she wanted to take lessons that she needed to pay for them herself and get a job. Daughter has been looking for a job, but has yet to find one. Given that every grocery store in the area is advertising for help I expect that she will find one soon.

                                  I agree that in the future I should have a boarding contract. I have had one or two boarders at a time over the last 14 years we have owned the farm, but this is the first teenager. Over that time period I have only asked one other boarder to leave and that was because her horse was dangerous on the ground. My last boarder was a delightful college student who also farm sat for us when we were out of town.

                                  So, in the future I doubt that I will ever have another teenage (under 18) boarder. While I'm sure there are some mature teenagers out there, it isn't worth the drama!

                                  Comment


                                  • I’m so happy for you!!! Well done!!!

                                    Comment


                                    • yes it does not sound like you are a situation where you want a minor, solo. A parent and junior combo might be acceptable, but no freelance kids. Thank you for giving us the resolution. I see threads like this as very educational and a great resource for people looking for info and support for their situation.
                                      _\\]
                                      -- * > hoopoe
                                      Procrastinate NOW
                                      Introverted Since 1957

                                      Comment


                                      • Well done! Very nice that the mom is cooperative. Hopefully her work is going well and not overwhelming her during these difficult times.

                                        And, hopefully they keep moving forward on their own, and you don't need to push. If they don't give you a date they plan to be out by the time the weekend is over, start asking about that. Everyone needs to be able to move on, and they need to move to allow that.

                                        We can wish this teenager the best, whatever direction she decides to go. As a young person, the time came when I also had to find employment to pay for my riding. It was a good move for me because it had me seriously evaluating how important riding and horses were to me. I came down on the side of the horses. But had I not felt that seriously about them, that is the time I would have known to go in other directions.

                                        Comment


                                        • But ... what drama? The OP offered to board a horse for a few months, changed her mind after one month because she felt uncertain of how to interact with a mildly obnoxious teenager, she called the mom (who sounds responsible in that she's making her teenager help support the horse habit), the mom responded within 24 hours, and now the boarder is working on finding a new barn, by the end of April, as I believe was the deal all along (hopefully this is still possible).

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