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What is a good/respectful way to tell my boss/trainer that I will be leaving at the end of the month?

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  • Original Poster

    HungarianHippo I am not upset that I worked without pay all those years, I generally thought I was being treated fairly. Looking back, I realize I was not, but that’s looking back. I know realize the situation I am in and I know it’s not going to be helpful to my life to stay her and not be able to make more and have to work even more during the summer. I’d much rather have a better paying job until I go to actual college (not just doing classes at a college for high school like I am now). Plus, I personally need a complete break from horses. I never would have thought I’d want that, but life changes constantly. But, I have gained experience from my experience and I now know that I will likely never be a working student. I was actually going to go out of state last summer and do so, but luckily it fell through.


    • #42
      FIrst if anyone is lacking maturity is the dang barn manager or owner. First is this OP still a minor? If she how can she legally be responsible for running this woman's barn while she's away. As described by the OP, the BM is taking extreme liberties with the OP. frankly, the OP was nice enough not to tell the BM to GTH when she gave notice to quit.

      I hope for the OP's sake she gets the heck out of this toxic situation and starts to feel better.


      • #43
        I'm sorry, but this BO/BM sounds completely unprofessional. The OP is only 17. There is no way that a minor should be being left in charge of things in the absence of the BO, not to mention, I think it is absurd for an adult to be reliant on an unpaid teenager to run your business for you or to be your only source of a fill in when you want to take time off. I would never rely on a high school kid to take on that kind of responsibility. I wouldn't even schedule them to work at a barn alone - they have school and family obligations, get sick, and have parents that dictate when or how they get to work, etc. They are minors and shouldn't be expected to handle adult level responsibilities.

        IMO, OP, if you aren't being paid for the work you do, then you aren't an employee - you're a volunteer. I actually don't think you owe this individual any notice, however, I commend your maturity in wanting to do so and be professional about it. It is great practice for you for later in life, and may leave the door open for you to go back to this barn again some day, should you want to.

        As far as how to give your notice, I would personally would considering doing it in writing. If you are not sure if your leaving will cause a confrontation, sometimes a letter, card or even an email is a great way to go (just don't text, that is not professional). If you want to something a little more personal, you could pick out a thank you card and write your "notice letter" in it. You could either hand her the letter/card in person as you are on your way out, or you could quietly leave it behind let her know by text or email that you left something for her in the feed room/ tack room/office. Usually, when I give my notice to leave a barn, I do it this way because people can get pretty crazy about boarders/staff leaving. Sometimes, I will leave a little gift with the card - such as a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine, a small gift card, to have the appreciation aspect stand out a little more.

        Proud Member of the "Tidy Rabbit Tinfoil Hat Wearers" clique and the "I'm in my 30's and Hope to be a Good Rider Someday" clique


        • #44
          Give her as much notice as possible and just tell the truth, you’d like to explore other career options as you can’t see doing this forever. 😊. Keep it simple and upbeat, thank her for the experience.


          • #45
            You've gotten some good advice. I would add that you should take the extra step of handing her a resignation letter. Might be overkill for a high school job, but I always err on the side of being too professional.

            You can ask to speak to her at the end of your shift, let her know you're giving your notice, and hand her the letter as well. It doesn't have to be detailed - you don't owe anyone an explanation. You can say you appreciate the opportunities you were given and the experience you gained in your time there, but that the time has come for you to move on as you plan for your future career.

            She may flip out, ask you to leave and not come back, whatever, but YOU took the high road and acted in a professional manner, and that is worth something.

            Best of luck!


            • #46
              You here nothing but two weeks notice. In a few years you'll be enjoying your excellent choice of becoming a pilot having both the time and money to comfortably afford to have horses in your life.
              "Do what you can't do"


              • #47
                Give the barn owner notice, but have your own house in order so that if BO flips out, or just behaves below de minimis standards, you are prepared to leave immediately.

                People with unhealthy boundaries who exhibit these kind of pathologies are unpredictable, and there is always the chance they will say, "Well then get out immediately" as either spite or a misguided negotiation tactic.

                You always want to make sure YOU are covered first and foremost.
                The Noodle
                Boy Wonder
                The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!


                • #48
                  Well, so did you give your notice yet?


                  • #49
                    Yeah , what's up?


                    • #50
                      Need an update!


                      • #51
                        It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.


                        • #52
                          Originally posted by Spud&Saf View Post
                          I'm sorry, but this BO/BM sounds completely unprofessional. The OP is only 17. There is no way that a minor should be being left in charge of things in the absence of the BO, not to mention, I think it is absurd for an adult to be reliant on an unpaid teenager to run your business for you or to be your only source of a fill in when you want to take time off. I would never rely on a high school kid to take on that kind of responsibility. I wouldn't even schedule them to work at a barn alone - they have school and family obligations, get sick, and have parents that dictate when or how they get to work, etc. They are minors and shouldn't be expected to handle adult level responsibilities.
                          It shouldn't happen, but it DOES happen, and far more often than people think. Seen it happen way too much just in my own horse world orbit over the last three decades. I can only imagine how widespread it is. It's truly a miracle of God that more really bad situations/accidents don't happen than already do.


                          • #53
                            OP has been on here for a few years but does not post often so wouldn’t look for her to be back. As of May if 2019, she said she still has “a few years of High School” so thinking just turned 16, 17 at the most. Get the idea there’s no W2 or 1099 on file for whatever trainer pays her.
                            When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                            The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.