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What happened to.....

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  • What happened to.....

    the post from the ?child who wanted to know if an orphan foal needed a same age companion? It seems to have disappeared.

  • #2
    The user appears to be banned now, so I guess something happened in that thread. Their other similar threads about getting a foal from auction are still up.


    • #3
      Originally posted by phoebetrainer View Post
      the post from the ?child who wanted to know if an orphan foal needed a same age companion? It seems to have disappeared.
      The user claimed to be 12 yrs old and was using language, neither of which is allowed on COTH forums.


      • #4
        plus some of the syntax and grammar (swearing and insults aside) seemed a little out of keeping for the average 12 yo
        -- * > hoopoe
        Procrastinate NOW
        Introverted Since 1957


        • #5
          Out of curiosity, what is the age limit for posting? I don't see it in the forum rules, but would be good to know on those occasions when young kids show up to post about equestrian fantasies

          Today's banned poster was well over the line w.r.t. personal insults, regardless of age.


          • #6
            I could have sworn they were once listed and If I remember right is was somewhere around 13/14?

            parental permission was also needed(?) But I have been a member for donks and am not sure there was an age limit back then.

            not sure when or if it changed.
            -- * > hoopoe
            Procrastinate NOW
            Introverted Since 1957


            • #7
              Unfortunately some parents allow their 12 yr old kids unfettered access to the internet. It is very unwise to allow kids that age to interact with adult strangers.

              If I remember correctly, the rule was 14 for the forums but I can't find the rule either. Hopefully COTH will clarify their policy.


              • #8
                As much wisdom and good advice that COTH members can give to young people, we have to remember some of the truly weird folks that we've had and still have on these forums. It's not a place for 12 yr old kids who can get PMs from those adults.


                • #9
                  There are some neat people around here, but it's a huge board and who knows who is reading/lurking? I would not let my kid on here.


                  • #10
                    It seems that so many of these new and yOUNG posters eventually self-destruct on here doing the same thing. Insults,
                    ugly behavior, swearing etc.
                    Wonder why that is? Kids raising themselves these day?
                    "There is no fundamental difference between man and animals in their ability to feel pleasure and pain, happiness, and misery." - Charles Darwin


                    • #11
                      Perhaps it's self defense mechanisms that come from being picked on by online adults that don't suffer fools (and may not know they are communicating with a kid). It's also lack of maturity. Maybe they also go *poof* because mom or dad busted them, lol! Are a lot of kids online unsupervised? Oh yes.

                      I work with kids and know that many clueless grandparents are supervising after school. They are not always energetic enough to watch over kids outside. A quiet kid on a computer may seem like a blessing to computer ignorant adults. In computer classes, we emphasize how to communicate online. Kids are likely to think of themselves as clever enough to get away with things online. They don't understand how obvious they are and why they are so vulnerable to predation by bad people. Many kids are victims of online abuse (obscenity and bullying) before they are old enough to understand what is happening. I know kids as young as 6 on Fortnight and other, very dangerous, online games without supervision. Kids play on Whatsapp, Tiktok, even Youtube unsupervised. ANything that depends on strangers 'liking' your content, will drive kids to get rid of barriers parents may have put in place for their protection.

                      It scares me enough to forbid our kid from online games and social media. He has zero apps. No phone until high school, if he proves mature enough. Hubby and I don't do social media either. But I try to keep up on what is out there. Our local police brief kids on online dangers and then brief parents separately which apps are most dangerous (naming them in front of the kids would be a mistake).


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Moonlitoaks View Post
                        Perhaps it's self defense mechanisms that come from being picked on by online adults that don't suffer fools (and may not know they are communicating with a kid).
                        Teens tend to think of themselves as adults, but most have no idea how much they don't know, not just about horses but also about the best ways to interact with adults in adults-only settings. They present themselves here as adults and people respond to them as if they are adults and then they respond like the child/teen they are, which gets them lots of negative feedback.

                        I don't think it's entirely fair to blame the adults in this situation. I think most of us respond differently when the poster makes it clear from the beginning that they are a kid. And we certainly don't respond kindly to a kid who behaves in ways we would not tolerate in our own kids.

                        I'm so glad that my kids were grown before social media became a thing. Poor babies would have been the only kids in school who didn't carry cell phones and have unlimited access to a computer at home.

                        "Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything
                        that's even remotely true."

                        Homer Simpson


                        • #13
                          In this particular situation, I don't blame the adults at all. They reacted as any mare in a pasture would react to naughty filly!

                          This place can be rough, but I saw restraint used in this situation. Other places kids go are much more brutal and I think that's where her attitude was formed. There are restraints on profanity here, but elsewhere, the insults are the kind of things that would get someone punched by an angry father.


                          • #14
                            They poofed the whole thread? That's uncommon.
                            COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                            "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by TheJenners View Post
                              They poofed the whole thread? That's uncommon.
                              Guess so, I didn't participate once they said it may be a kid, even if it didn't sound like one, so who knows.
                              Last I read "kid" was insulting, but didn't read after that what responses may have rained down.

                              May have been a bot, why the whole thread is gone?


                              • #16
                                The poster has been banned but only one thread was poofed by mods. I missed whatever went down. I assume poster got angry and spewed.

                                Sometimes it seems folks also get banned for inappropriate private messaging that isn't generally visible. I've had more than one junior member blast me in PM in words they won't use on the public thread, because I (and others) said things they didn't want to hear. I don't respond to those kinds of PM but have never needed to report one either.
                                But honestly we get enough new adult posters that have meltdowns when they get reasoned criticism about their question or choice. Had one just recently about whether you pay a trainer for a missed lessons where OP called everyone who disagreed with her a troll.

                                So it isn't just kids who get angry. Or indeed just new posters.

                                It's also true that the internet world over say the past 5 years has gotten increasingly confrontational. One reaction to that has been people who want to keep their internet life a safe bubble of no conflict or criticism or useful advice. Paradoxically these folks can sometimes be very rude confrontational and reactive as soon as they feel challenged.


                                • Original Poster

                                  Wow!! I was looking to see if there was any response, because up until I posted, I thought people were being very supportive.


                                  • #18
                                    Never fear, because it looks like that poster is back under a new user name, posting the exact same question. We’ll see how this one turns out.


                                    • Original Poster

                                      Originally posted by JustTheTicket View Post
                                      Never fear, because it looks like that poster is back under a new user name, posting the exact same question. We’ll see how this one turns out.
                                      Maybe I should give the same response? See if that provokes a reaction!!😂


                                      • #20
                                        A few users asked if she had the time/money/experience to be raising an orphan foal and she started to get pretty snarky with them. That’s when she also informed us that she was 12 but had vast experience with horses. I didn’t see bad language, but perhaps it happened later or in PMs as Scribbler suggested.