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WWYD - she didn't get out my horse! (long rant, sorry)

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  • #41
    i think she means "stickler"......I saw that too.

    Anyway, I don't get the "get the horse out" euphemism here. To me, I would ask the girl if she could RIDE my horse---to me, getting a horse out isn't riding a horse, it's literally that. Get the horse, bring him out of the stall, maybe brush him, let him graze, that's it.

    And does this fancy barn not have turnout? Why isn't this horse just turned out for several hours a day and then there is no worry whether this gal rode/"got out" the horse.

    The other thing I don't like here is that the OP seemed more of an offer to this gal to ride, as in "I'll be out of town, it'd be great if you (rode) Dobbin".......but was it ascertained she knew she HAD to ride every day (see first paragraph again about what getting out means).

    Anyway, you can't prove it, you've asked her repeatedly, and I guess if I were her I'd be getting pretty pissed off right now if you kept asking me. You asked, she answered, you're done. It's over. If you don't like the care she was "supposed" to give while you were gone, then hire someone, or pay for turnout. It was 4 days, the horse was fed, move on.
    Ellipses users clique ...
    TGFPT,HYOOTGP

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    • #42
      And does this fancy barn not have turnout? Why isn't this horse just turned out for several hours a day and then there is no worry whether this gal rode/"got out" the horse.

      The other thing I don't like here is that the OP seemed more of an offer to this gal to ride, as in "I'll be out of town, it'd be great if you (rode) Dobbin".......but was it ascertained she knew she HAD to ride every day (see first paragraph again about what getting out means).
      Pretty sure the OP stated somewhere in here that she lives in southern CA where land is at a premium and horses simply don't get turned out for several hours a day.

      Plus I know she stated that she told the girl to let her know what days she couldn't/wouldn't come out so she could make arrangements for those days to have someone else come look in on her horse/exercise him/turn him out a bit and the girl told her she'd go every day.
      The Trials and Jubilations of a Twenty-Something Re-rider
      Happy owner of Kieran the mostly-white-very-large-not-pony.

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      • Original Poster

        #43
        Originally posted by katarine View Post
        maybe she is afraid to tell you the truth for fear you'll go nuts on her. Go figure. It's nuts enough to me that a grown woman is not sure how to ask a teenager if they rode their horse or not. So she turns to total strangers for clues.

        Maybe you two texters have met your match and equal. I'm scared to ask her and she's scared to answer. Game set match.
        I am not going to go nuts on her and I haven't accused her of anything and am not going to go that route. If you read my posts you will see I am aware that I have no facts that she didn’t ride, I am just going off my own assumptions and gut feeling. I have questioned her on how he was, etc, but that is something I always do. I just like to know what he did and how he was for her.

        Yes, I did text yesterday and asked specifically what days she rode him after I asked if she noticed he was stocked up. I said “It looks like he didn’t get out so I was just wondering. Thanks for your help! ” Is that a nuts thing to say? If I was going to go nuts, before I even posted this thread I would have called her the second I noticed it looked like he didn’t get out and gone off on her, but that is not me.

        We always talk via text or when we see each other at the barn. If I called her that would probably really scare her and send off flags that I knew something was wrong. Yes, I am aware it’s not the best way to communicate but I am not going to accuse her of anything via text, phone or in person. I just had a couple questions to ask. When I see her at the barn next, I will still continue to be friendly to her.
        Owned by an Oldenburg

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        • Original Poster

          #44
          Originally posted by 2DogsFarm View Post
          what katarine said X10

          So horse didn't get out for 4 days.
          Not desirable in the Best of All Worlds, but hardly fatal.

          Did anyone else notice that in Post #1 Mimi has: "known her since she was 5 almost 15 years ago"
          So Offender is at most 20yo

          Then in Post #9 the offender has "isn't new to horses...been at the barn 15 years"
          So starting at age 4 or 5 Offender was an instant Fount of Horse Knowledge?

          OP:
          Suck it up, stand away from the smartphone and ask her mano-a-mano what happened. Then make your own decision, stop posting here looking for OMG!!! Support
          I consider 15 years of being around horses pretty knowledgeable.

          I am not asking for support in what to say to her or get the courage to talk to her directly about what happened. My question was if I should continue to let her ride my horse (just not rely on it) or stop it since it does come off as she lied (going off gut feeling - not facts.) Would you let someone (in your feeling) who lied about your horses wellbeing still be around and care for your horse?
          Owned by an Oldenburg

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          • Original Poster

            #45
            Originally posted by Coreene View Post
            OP, what the heck is a "stiffler"??? In your first post.
            Is this really what you got hung up on? Hahaha

            Sorry, stickler. Never really used that term before and thought it looked odd but whatever.
            Owned by an Oldenburg

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            • Original Poster

              #46
              Originally posted by lilblackhorse View Post
              i think she means "stickler"......I saw that too.

              Anyway, I don't get the "get the horse out" euphemism here. To me, I would ask the girl if she could RIDE my horse---to me, getting a horse out isn't riding a horse, it's literally that. Get the horse, bring him out of the stall, maybe brush him, let him graze, that's it.

              And does this fancy barn not have turnout? Why isn't this horse just turned out for several hours a day and then there is no worry whether this gal rode/"got out" the horse.

              The other thing I don't like here is that the OP seemed more of an offer to this gal to ride, as in "I'll be out of town, it'd be great if you (rode) Dobbin".......but was it ascertained she knew she HAD to ride every day (see first paragraph again about what getting out means).

              Anyway, you can't prove it, you've asked her repeatedly, and I guess if I were her I'd be getting pretty pissed off right now if you kept asking me. You asked, she answered, you're done. It's over. If you don't like the care she was "supposed" to give while you were gone, then hire someone, or pay for turnout. It was 4 days, the horse was fed, move on.
              Get the horse out means get the horse out. Get him out of his stall and do whatever. She can ride him, lunge him, take him on trail, turn him out or just hand walk him. Whatever she had time to do. Just get him out of that 12 x 12 stall.

              When I got back I asked how he was and what they did. She told me she rode all days which then was shortened to Friday and Sunday. Tack and gut feeling seems to tell otherwise.
              Owned by an Oldenburg

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              • #47
                Originally posted by Mimi La Rue View Post
                I consider 15 years of being around horses pretty knowledgeable.
                Time does not necessarily = knowledge.

                I boarded one place where a fellow boarder ( she had 2 horses) aked me how to pick a hoof.
                She was brought up on a farm.
                With horses.
                Rode them.
                Dad & Big Brothers did everything for her.
                So at 40-some yo she did not have the vaguest notion of horse care.

                And since you have only your "gut feeling" so far & no evidence of abuse to your horse besides that, my advice is to find your Big Girl Panties, slip them on and talk to this girl.
                Or not.
                Your call.
                *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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                • #48
                  so, after all that, still....WHO CARES? It's 4 days. Why didn't you just pay for turnout if that's not something your barn offers. He should be getting that anyway.

                  You asked, she answered. Maybe she lied, you'll never know so move on. At this rate she's going to think you are a psycho owner.
                  Ellipses users clique ...
                  TGFPT,HYOOTGP

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                  • Original Poster

                    #49
                    Originally posted by lilblackhorse View Post
                    so, after all that, still....WHO CARES? It's 4 days. Why didn't you just pay for turnout if that's not something your barn offers. He should be getting that anyway.

                    You asked, she answered. Maybe she lied, you'll never know so move on. At this rate she's going to think you are a psycho owner.
                    We don't have turn out here in Southern California! Land is sadly limited, we have a bazillion tract homes instead.

                    Aren't we all psycho horse owners anyway?
                    Owned by an Oldenburg

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                    • #50
                      MiMi, yes we are all psycho horse owners to some extent or another. I am anyway!

                      If I were you, I would just let it go. Know for the future that if you go out of town, get your mom to turn your boy out and I probably wouldn't let her ride my horse anymore unless she is taking a lesson and you feel comfortable with that. If you really can't feel that you can trust her, don't let her ride him anymore at all and just say you want to focus on him more or he needs more time off or don't tell her anything. Horses are way too expensive and enough of a worry to add something else into the mix.

                      Nothing bad has happened yet, but if something bad did happen, like she is jumping him without a trainer and lying about it, then it would be a serious issue.

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                      • #51
                        I give up- I can't imagine a deal where I solely text anyone I trust with my horse. This concept is beyond my scope. The notion that SPEAKING to the person I trust to ride my horse is somehow weird or frightening? Um, I'm out.

                        Maybe she TEXTED your horse about riding him. Hey, so long as we're all texting it in...

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                        • #52
                          Originally posted by Coanteen View Post
                          You know, it's most likely that she's lying. I know what my tack looks like when someone else has used it (my trainer when she rode my mare), and when it hadn't been touched. I don't blame you for being pissed off that she lied, especially as there would be no repercussions to her - if she couldn't make it, she just had to tell you/your mom.

                          But having a serious "conversation" via text is ludicrous. Even if that's the way you guys normally communicate, I assume it's not for heavy "I'm pretty sure you lied to me" topics. So she doesn't respond to your last text and you have your answer? She may not even have your question, and it's not like you'd even know.
                          I wonder what my trainer thought the day she came to the barn to find that all of her tack had been cleaned and oiled I had to spend time soaking my mare's feet and all of my tack was already clean so I busied myself with hers. I hope she wasn't too put out

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                          • #53
                            Originally posted by katarine View Post
                            I give up- I can't imagine a deal where I solely text anyone I trust with my horse. This concept is beyond my scope. The notion that SPEAKING to the person I trust to ride my horse is somehow weird or frightening? Um, I'm out.

                            Maybe she TEXTED your horse about riding him. Hey, so long as we're all texting it in...
                            Yes, why don't you just give it up already for cripes sake Katarine.
                            MnToBe Twinkle Star: "Twinkie"
                            http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/f...wo/009_17A.jpg

                            Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!

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                            • #54
                              Hunter, maybe you should throw a butter dish at someone, might make you feel better

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                              • Original Poster

                                #55
                                Originally posted by Jack16 View Post
                                MiMi, yes we are all psycho horse owners to some extent or another. I am anyway!

                                If I were you, I would just let it go. Know for the future that if you go out of town, get your mom to turn your boy out and I probably wouldn't let her ride my horse anymore unless she is taking a lesson and you feel comfortable with that. If you really can't feel that you can trust her, don't let her ride him anymore at all and just say you want to focus on him more or he needs more time off or don't tell her anything. Horses are way too expensive and enough of a worry to add something else into the mix.

                                Nothing bad has happened yet, but if something bad did happen, like she is jumping him without a trainer and lying about it, then it would be a serious issue.
                                I was starting to feel like the only psycho horse owner around here.

                                Thanks for your advice, which I will be following (as in just letting it go) and for actually reading my posts and not getting hung up on the small stuff.

                                A couple other people had good advice too, so thanks to you all as well.
                                Owned by an Oldenburg

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                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by katarine View Post
                                  I give up- I can't imagine a deal where I solely text anyone I trust with my horse. This concept is beyond my scope. The notion that SPEAKING to the person I trust to ride my horse is somehow weird or frightening? Um, I'm out.
                                  Seriously. And if you're SO paranoid and sure you're being lied to, CALL HER and tell her she's not riding your horse any more. You don't want her to "know" something is wrong--do you even know for sure something is wrong? Apparently you don't believe what she's texted but aren't willing to just straight-up ask her so it can't be that important.

                                  Yes, I did text yesterday and asked specifically what days she rode him after I asked if she noticed he was stocked up. I said “It looks like he didn’t get out so I was just wondering. Thanks for your help! ” Is that a nuts thing to say?
                                  No, it's a passive-aggressive thing to say since you're not asking because you're curious, you're asking to try and trip her up. Though given that, if this were a trial, if you asked her again "Did you ride?" and I were her lawyer I'd object on "Asked and answered."

                                  Texting is childish. Put on your big-girl britches and call her or go ask her in person, and as several people have suggested explain the REASONS you think she's not being honest--that he was stocked up and that your tack didn't appear to be used.
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                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by katarine View Post
                                    Hunter, maybe you should throw a butter dish at someone, might make you feel better

                                    Sorry to disappoint, I just don't feel the anger like you do..

                                    Besides, I've got to go clean the litter box...meow.
                                    MnToBe Twinkle Star: "Twinkie"
                                    http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/f...wo/009_17A.jpg

                                    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!

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                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by Cloverbarley View Post
                                      I agree with Kate, it sounded like a huge deal to me when I read OPs post because I would never dream of keeping horses if they had to be kept in a stall for most of their lives but I do appreciate others do and if the horses know no better then who am I to criticize. Trouble is I do know better so I could never do that to a horse. I digress though as this is not the point of OPs post, so if this happened in my own situation I'm afraid the girl would be gone; no way could I accept my horses being stuck indoors for 4 days.
                                      Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm so f-ing sick of reading threads about people who's horses aren't OUTSIDE like the LIVESTOCK they are. Stop treating your horses like hamsters. I guess that's my fault, I should just not read those threads.

                                      Also, I agree with katarine 110%.
                                      Every one of them had that look of a girl infatuated with horses, the happy, fated look of a passenger setting sail on the Titanic.

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                                      • Original Poster

                                        #59
                                        Update: the girl just texted me. Yes, she texted me people, get over it. I've known her for 15 years, she is not a stranger and I feel our communication via text is just fine.

                                        ANYWAY she asked if she could ride him Friday and Sunday. Sunday she is having a lesson and said she would let me know what time it was so I could watch if I wanted to. I guess my nutty passive agressiveness didn't come off to her and she still wants to deal with psycho horse owning me. Big ol' sap me said no problem because she is a great confident rider and she is really helping me out when she rides him. When I go out of town again, I will make sure I have a back up to look over him though. Luckily (or unluckily) I do not go out of town much.
                                        Owned by an Oldenburg

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                                        • Original Poster

                                          #60
                                          Originally posted by kristinq View Post
                                          Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm so f-ing sick of reading threads about people who's horses aren't OUTSIDE like the LIVESTOCK they are. Stop treating your horses like hamsters. I guess that's my fault, I should just not read those threads.

                                          Also, I agree with katarine 110%.
                                          Hey we can't all live in KY! My friend just moved there and I was jealous of the pictures she sent me of her horse grazing in her OWN backyard.

                                          I might be moving in the next couple months to NV and my horse will actually be put out in a pasture during the day with other horses. It makes me extremely happy to think of how happy he would be doing that and being a horse. Of course I will be living in BFE and dealing with hot as hell summers. It's not 100% decided, as it's quite difficult to just get up and move your whole life to another place when you have family and careers, yadda yadda yadda, but I am hoping it can happen.
                                          Owned by an Oldenburg

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