Rider fear and confidence issues after a fall - I need help.

[skykingismybaby1]

You already have some great responses, I have trouble with fear when I ride out alone. (not that I ever go very far) I find myself talking to my horse, telling him that i am in charge and I am responsible for his safety and he does not need to spook because I know better. He seems to listen!

[Dapples7]

Everyone, thank you SO much. I can't even tell you how helpful each and every one of these responses is. It's good to know I'm not the only person that's ever been in this situation, and even better to know that other people have worked their way out of the "anxiety zone"! I guess I just need to stop beating myself up for not hopping right on my nice, brand-new horse and doing all the things I used to be able to. I think I need to remember that no one is keeping score or judging me, except me. Easier said than done! Anyway, thank you all so much again for taking the time to tell me about your experiences. I appreciate it so much!

[gettingbettereveryday]

As others have said, you're not alone. What helped me work through a lot of horse-related fear last year was anti-anxiety meds. My doctor gave me a prescription for Clonazapan with instructions to take half a pill before situations that made me anxious--chief among them, riding my crazy horse (a horse that I have since given away so I could purchase a saner, quieter, better-suited horse who has built my confidence).

The meds took the edge off my fear and allowed me to get on my crazy horse and later my sane horse and ride. For me, it was like switching on a light in a dim room. I was able to see better so I could perform better.

Other things I have done or did:

-wear appropriate safety gear, including a vest when riding outside
-chew gum to encourage breathing (it really works!)
-read Jane Savoie's excellent books
-use creative visualization to imagine what action I would take if the worst happened (I think of this as the cruise-ship method, i.e., you're on a cruise ship and you figure out where all the exits are and where all the life jackets are so you don't go down to a watery death should the boat sink)
-take lots of lessons, including lunge lessons to get a better and more secure seat and more independent hands
-ride with other people (this necessitated moving to a boarding barn)
-acknowledging my fear and my limitations and working toward resolution in small increments (i.e. you won't overcome your fear all at once, it's a process)
-trusting my instincts...if it feels too scary to do without falling apart, then I probably shouldn't be doing it because my horse will respond to the falling apart feelings I'm having
-asking for help when needed

As you work through these fears, remember that fear is your body and mind's natural and righteous way of keeping you safe. Fear has a purpose, and you shouldn't dismiss it. You just need to control it.

[threedogpack]

Like the others, been there-done that and have the hardware to prove it.

I don't have a trainer, tho I do have a daughter and 2 good friends who helped a lot.

I bought myself a western pleasure horse that hates to move fast. I did loads of groundwork and got a completely reliable "whoa" at all gaits before I rode. Think Parelli here...I'm sure that my friends and daughter thought I would NEVER get on. We did at least 8 months of groundwork. As an aside....I always wonder what some COTH members would think of me in respect to that.

I walked while up on her with a friend holding a lead at first, I think we did that for 3-4 rides. Then I walked her with the friend next to us but no lead, and next was the friend standing in the middle of the arena. Then ... just like magic...one day I wanted to ride and there was nobody to help so I pulled a Nike and just did it. I did the same thing with trotting, but the process was quicker because now I had done it a bit. Then I began to work on my fear. I spent 2 weeks walking and focusing on nothing but breathing and staying on the rail. After 2 weeks, it began to feel more natural so I moved on to deliberately dropping my shoulders, reaching for the sky with the top of my head and keeping my hands/arms relaxed. That took a little longer and eventually it too, became habit. I spent 3 years at this phase before I could even think about cantering. My daughter would canter her, I leased her to a pre teen who cantered her, but I just couldn't. Then one day I decided I wanted to badly enough and we did...not for long, and the adrenalin rush was awful.....I was shaking when I got off. But it was a start and now....I'm good to go.

Today, I ground drove her around the front of the property we board at, my goal is to eventually go OUT and ride.

[tpup]

Great advice. I had major anxiety issues and fear issues. One of THE most valuable tools I learned from my very first riding teacher was a One Rein Stop. It was the first thing she taught me, after proper ground handling and safety stuff (boots, leading, handling). You will not have a fear of your horse running off with you or dumping you IF you know how to "shut him/her down" with a ORS effectively and safely if you even sniff that something could go wrong. Clinton Anderson teaches it best. Order some videos and practice it on both sides at a standstill, walk, trot and canter. DO not move up in gait until your horse rates back to you and almost anticipates it.

I am also a big believer in groundwork. Clinton's is great and while I am not a NH fanatic by any means, it was a wonderful way to bond with my horse and start earning respect from him. It was also a great activity when I felt too anxious to ride, or the footing wasn't good, etc.

I would do anything and everything you can do start lessons with your horse. Start building that trust. I always say without the constant encouragement of lessons I may not ride much. It forces me through my fears and I have a wonderful teacher who pushes me just enough.

I also second the idea of having a goal each ride. Try to overcome something each ride. Whether it's another minute of trot, riding out of the ring 20 yards, something.

I've come a long way through my fears. Today I trailered my guy to a local park, rode the perimeter trails alone at W/T/C and had a blast. There is NO way a year or two ago that I could have done that. For me it's over 50% mental and with the help of an excellent trainer, I am where I am today. I also know that if he misbehaves or doesn't half halt when asked, I can ORS safely. He knows what it is - we practice it and I firmly believe it has gotten me out of some possibly bad situations in the past.

Good luck - you can do it

[carolprudm]

Then ... just like magic...one day I wanted to ride and there was nobody to help so

I pulled a Nike

and just did it.

GREAT phrase!

[threedogpack]

one other thing I often think of.

I'm a dog trainer and I see many dogs who are fearful of various things. They are often talented and quick to learn but there seem to be some speed bumps these dogs just don't get over quickly (like me and my fears).

When owners get impatient and want to quit working slowly and deliberately I tell them, be patient. You cannot force fear out, it goes when it goes and it goes when the dog is able to replace it with trust/confidence. That takes time and miles.

Remember this for you. Fear goes when it goes. You cannot set a clock by it, and you cannot force it away. Set small goals that you can achieve, getting a foot in the stirrup without a freeze up, sitting on the horse while it stands still, trotting across the short end of the arena, walking all the way around. Make the goals small enough that you can feel that you made a goal but not so big you are overwhelmed and freeze up. Make a plan to achieve that goal. Like I said earlier....my goal is to go for a ride outside THIS YEAR. That is my goal and my plan is to drive my mare till I feel that she's bored to tears, then get on when there is someone there that will cheer me on when it goes well. I have a plan, and I'm working it. I have a goal and I'm working toward it. I have a picture in my mind of what I want it to look like and I'm refining it every time I take my mare out.

Make a plan, achieve a goal and keep us posted!

[Percheron X]

Develop excellent balance....

Hours of lunge line lessons on a quiet school Horse, a good trainer, doing all the basic beginner stuff including no stirrup work.

Fear comes from not having the experience to handle a horse when they act up... the only way to gain that experience is to practice.

An issue I had many years ago was tying to be too nice to the horse. The horse would misbehave and I would ride through it the best I could and never apply a severe correction. One day my trainer told me to get mad when a the horse I was riding tried to buck me off. When the horse tried again I yelled "stop" kicked the horse forwards, and pulled the horses head up hard.... That horse never bucked with me again.

But you need to have the experience to know the difference between when a horse is being bad, or just frightened. Frightened horses need to be assertively calmed and reassured... bad horses need to be firmly shown that there bad behavior will not be tolerated.

Riding with a complete set of skills is sort of like being a martial artist..... you react instantly to the horse and apply the needed correction, or maintain your balance and position without thinking..... Once you have that ability you can trust your instincts to keep you (and your horse) safe. But it takes practice to get to that point.

Riding well takes an intellectual understanding of how to ride, and then practicing it until it becomes second nature... It's sort of the same concept as not having to think about just how to move every control when you drive a car.

Every beginner riders' goal is to reach the point of being able to ride with coordinated aids before they can progress to higher levels. The whole reason behind standard teaching methods (like pony club) is to build a solid base of fundamental skills, and then build on top of them.

Safety comes from the confidence that you can handle the horse, confidence comes from having proven to yourself that you have the skills to keep yourself safe, and have the good judgment to know when you are pushing your limits and you need to back off.

I'm not saying accidents will never happen to experienced riders, just saying that when you know you have a full set of riding tools, you should feel much more comfortable and prepared to handle the unexpected.

[SWatson]

Hi everyone, I wasn't sure which category to post this in, so here I am... I'm sorry this is so long.

I'm in great need of some advice, anecdotes, etc. relating to overcoming fear and lack of confidence after a riding accident. I had a fall three years ago from a spooky, unpredictable, green horse and my riding anxiety level is now going through the roof. Riding is now scary for me, especially when I’m alone. I can’t stop thinking about “WHAT IF the horse spooks and bolts and I fall and hit the ground hard and hurt myself, just like I did last time?” This is not like me – I have ridden and have taken lessons since I was a kid (H/J and dressage), and I’ve never had issues with fear. The only time I’m not too afraid of riding is when I’m not in control, i.e. on a guided trail ride. The scariest prospect for me by far is riding by myself, on my own horse, with no one else around to supervise or take control or advise if things start to go wrong.

I stupidly decided to buy a horse a couple months ago. (Please don’t yell at me. I’ve done enough of that myself! ) I missed horses and riding so much that I managed to convince myself that I could work through my fear if I had a quiet, semi-bombproof horse to ride whenever I wanted and just go slow with. So, I went out and bought a mellow, broke but fairly young horse. And predictably, now I feel extremely anxious whenever I think about going to the barn to ride. All I’ve done since I bought her is walk a few times, for less than half an hour at a time. My horse hasn’t given me any reason to not trust her, but I just can’t stop worrying about her spooking and taking off like a lightning bolt, dumping me. I haven’t even cantered her yet, and only trotted her when I was trying her out before bought her. I thought my fear would start to go away as I rode her more, but it doesn't seem to be lessening at all.

My riding education definitely has some holes in it, and that is not helping my confidence. I don’t have anyone to ride with (no one at my barn seems to ride their horses…) and I won’t be able to afford lessons until this winter. I’m not sure if I should take lessons on a school horse, or on my own horse, or what.

So, I’m not sure what to do here. I feel so horrible about all of it. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? How did you help to overcome your anxiety and fear issues?

The first thing I would suggest is to seek out a licensed mental health therapist in your area. If you would like help with finding one, let me know what area you live in, and I can see if I can help you out. PM me if you like

Second, I would caution you against utilizing the "what if" thinking. You will need to retrain your brain to think differently, which will then teach you to feel and thus act differently - this is known generally as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT for short.

Third, along with the second item, I would encourage you to start imagining you riding your horse correctly and pleasantly. This will help you to start re-training your brain to think and thus your body to act the way you would like to.

I hope this helps

[Ray]

I had a reasonably serious accident as a newbie rider on a hunter pace, and for a long time I was (kinda) OK to ride in the ring but terrified on trail rides etc. I was stuck for a couple of years, and finally went to an excellent psychologist that specializes in riding, and did EMDR - this is a completely stressfree technique that "retrains" the brain so that traumatic stuff can be filed like any other memory, and not be so "present" and influential. there is a reasonable description of it on wikipedia... It totally worked! simply amazing.

feel free to PM me for more details, since you are in MA, you might consider this ...

until then, the other poster is right, you have to nip the habit of the "what ifs". even if you have to sing songs when you are riding, you may feel silly but it really works. you should also celebrate your progress, it sounds like your horse is working out just fine

[ddashaq]

Timely thread for me! I came off my greenish TB this summer and got really hurt for the first time in my 25 riding years and am scared for the first time in my life. I have ridden my guy a couple of times since, but frankly, am pretty damned nervous about it. My plan is to focus on ground work this winter as that helped me get through the 3 year old sillies with my arab with neither of us traumatized. I think we need a support group or something!

[pal-o-mino]

What helped me too was getting a very slow, steady horse. I'd ride that one first, and then try it with the other one.

After a while, I sold everybody except the slow one. LOL

Just do what you want to do and don't beat yourself up if you don't feel like riding. Some days you do, some days you don't. Sometimes it's nice to just go for a walk with your giant dog. LOL No pressure and you still have together time.

I just don't bounce anymore. I still ride, but I'm a lot slower and more careful than I was. It's just not worth it to me. But we still have fun.

And yeah, sometimes we do hop and and just go for it. Maybe not for very long, but afterwards, it's like YAY!! We did it!! I didn't think I'd ever canter bareback again, but I have done it with the steady mare. So... just do what YOU need and want to do!

[Doodlebug1]

You've been given lots of great advice on here and I'm not going to add to it in terms of your recovery.

However, I am a little concerned by your post - that you have a 'youngish' horse, that you purchased months ago and have only ridden a handful of times at a walk.

A young horse needs work, in all paces, in all situations. Please find someone else to ride your horse regularly - you are asking for something to go wrong, which will dent your confidence further.

I'd get someone to ride your horse every day for now - and you go and ride occasional days as your horse's second ride. That way you can be very confident that your horse will behave - you can even maybe replicate the morning ride - a personal challenge for you and likely that your horse will be very well behaved.

Please do not keep your young horse for an occasional walk. You are doing neither of you any favours at all.

I'm sure with some regular work for your horse and you following the excellent advice on here that you'll soon become a great partnership. Keep us posted!

[SmartAlex]

Yeah, we do probably need a support group.

I think that not only is there a fear of not being able to handle the horse if it acts up, but for me there was the fear that I had somehow overlooked some obvious safety factor and am putting myself in danger. That's why it becomes easier to ride only in a supervised setting. If you have a trail boss, or a riding instructor, you can feel like they are in charge of checking to make sure you don't do anything risky. That is a good crutch to get started, but sooner or later you need to move past that and develop confidence in your own decision making abilities again.

[Gandolph58]

I too find myself battling fear and anxiety while riding after a bad fall in March of this year. Ended up with a concussion, small amount of memory loss, a broken clavicle that required surgery with a lot of hardware, and a cracked rib.

Immediately after I was cleared to ride I did pretty well for about two weeks until I had to move my horse. I lost my support network of friend and trainers and my confidence took a huge hit. I went from being able to have someone help warm my horse up and hang out to watch, to having to ride in a new place with no one around at all. It was and still is tough.

I am still struggling and some days are better than others. Some things that help me.

Watch someone else ride your horse. If you are able to do this, give it a try. This was probably the number one thing that helped me.

You need to EXPECT (at this point) that you will feel anxious and scared when you ride. Rather than trying to ride more and expect your fear to go away, focus on the BEHAVIOUR of riding more and accept that you will be scared. This is a tough thing for me. I have to accept it will be uncomfortable and learn how to go from there.

Wear the eventing safety vests. Wearing one may make you feel more secure. Broke out my vest from days gone by and brand new helmet after my fall.

Always wear boots with a heel and properly fitted and adjusted tack. Make sure your girth is done up tight. Part of the reason my fall was so bad was my saddle rolled and my heavy winter riding boot hung up in the stirrup. I got a breast collar and I have become a girth nazi. I check it several times during my ride just for peace of mind.

Try and think of how things need to be handled if something goes wrong and have a plan in place. I am a “have a plan, be prepaired” type person and it really helps me to have one. I map out my entire time at the barn and stick to it.

Pick an area to ride in. Take the horse out there on foot to familiarize the horse so you won't have any hesitation from the horse. This is something that has always helped my horse, so we do it A LOT now. It also helps me to know what is in a new place before I ride there.

Pick a small goal like time or distance point, and ride to it. For me it was baby, baby steps at first. Getting on and off of the horse at the block several times making sure he stood really still for me. Really easy stuff at first, nothing is too small to start with.

Tell someone when you are riding and arrange to call them at a specified time to let them know you are fine or ask them to check on you if they don't hear from you. DH is having serious anxiety right along with me. I text or call him just before I mount and as soon as I finish. He will come to the barn immediately if I don’t make contact with in a specified time.

Use stress management techniques when you feel yourself getting anxious. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation, etc. I really was surprised at how much this helped me.

And for Gods sake don’t let well meaning friends/family/trainers make light of how you feel or push you past what you know is your limit. Just yesterday I tried to man up and do something I knew was a bad Idea, but I let someone talk me into it. I was ok, but the girl I was with took a spill. When you have a gut feeling listen to your gut!!

It is taking me a lot longer to be comfortable with some of the things I never gave a thought to before. It is getting easier for me, but sometimes when I think I’m ok the fear will sneak up on me.

Hang in there and keep trying.

[stoneymeadow]

After riding through childhood I took 20 yrs off for marriage and career. When approaching 40 in 2000, I decided I wanted horses back in my life. And silly me, I adopted a 4 y/o OTTB as I thought it was so wonderful to save a horse and give him a wonderful life. NOTE - I had help, trainers, at a training facility, didn't do this on my own. But that said it was still stupid and I ended up seriously injured. 10/26/01 - he launched me like a rodeo bronc. Never rode that horse again but don't worry, he is very happily living at my farm.

After a walker, cane and PT, I was not even interested in riding again. My husband found a breed stock paint that was supposedly too lame to do anything but some light trail riding. So $1 later I had Jet. Jet too had some bad manners from a previous owner as well as some spooky, explosive tendencies. how much was not fully disclosed, of course. after some TLC, our vet and farrier solved Jet's soundness issue and I had this beautiful solid black 16.2H horse that I was terrified to even get on. I would stand at the mounting block for 10-15-20 minutes building up the courage to get on and often in tears. Some days it was all I could do to get on, walk a circle and get off. But each day I got braver but after 2 months I was still too afraid to try to canter.

Jet had been shown to 1st level dressage so I decided to try this dressage thing. Had no clue about dressage but I felt so comfortable in a dressage saddle vs an english saddle. To help with goals, a friend suggested I enter the intro classes at the spring show. Entries closed in less than 2 weeks and since Jet had been shown, I set a goal I wanted to enter the training level classes. Now remember I didn't know much but wanted a goal to get me cantering. I cantered, we entered, we went training level reserve champion for the show and I was terrified but exhilerated at the same time. Jet was a trooper and took care of me.

Jet took me through 2nd level with a wall full of ribbons and awards - Regional championships reserve AA 1st level, Dover Medals, 2004 APHA Paint Alternative Champion, etc. An injury did finally sideline Jet and he happily lives in retirement on our farm. Jet gave me a passion for dressage and helped me every step with building my confidence. My trainer would tell me often to enjoy every ride on Jet as I would never have another horse so rideable. And she was right.

I have gone on to my USDF Bronze and Silver Medals and am half way to my Gold. But the memories still are with me of 10/26/01. You never forget a traumatic injury, nor should you.

Horse shopping in 2007 for an upper level horse was terrifying. It took faith and confidence to go get on strange horses in strange places in front of strangers. Sorry, Hilda Gurney is scary if you don't now her!

I don't put myself in bad situations, or at least try not to. I am conservative until fully comfortable and I will never be that balls to the wall teenage rider again. But I am a mature, wiser rider having the time of my life on my dressage journey. As an aging AA with limited nature talent, I will never be a superstar.

But I am having fun. If you are not having fun, then this might not be the right horse for you. Do not let emotion and attachment put you in harms way. I felt so much defeat and failure with my OTTB. I failed my dream horse. But that dream horse almost killed me....but I found my joy and passion by riding horses again.

You can too!!! I strongly echo seeking out some counseling to help you with the self-doubt and the 'what-if' fears.

good luck!

[jeano]

Overcoming the Fear of Riding is an excellent book for equestrians with fear issues. Traumatic fear can be very debilitating. The book is full of great information, exercises, and anecdotes from riders who have dealt with this.

Cognitive therapy has I think been recommended and is a great idea. You have been hurt and your body has recovered but your thought processes have not. They can heal too. All the safety precautions, lunging, vests, old broke horses etc will NOT help traumatic fear much, because traumatic fear has ceased to be rational.

I've struggled some with this. I have that little spurt of "what if" fear every. single. time. I ride. I can still ride because I recognize that the fear is just a remnant of traumatic fear, not a predictor of a wreck. I too used to spend half an hour on the mounting block with my toe in the stirrup. I've gotten that interval down to about ten seconds. Once I am mounted I am good for hours in the saddle. Wrecks have happened and I have been tossed since The Big One and I've been able to get up and get back on every. single. time.