Stallion Spotlight

BushyGeneology copy

Real Estate Spotlight

Driveway
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You�re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it�details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums� policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it�s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users� profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses � Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it�s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who�s selling it, it doesn�t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions � Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services � Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products � While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements � Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be �bumped� excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues � Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators� discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you�d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user�s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

Sport-related negative feelings

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sport-related negative feelings

    Hello

    I don't know if anyone here has had a similar problem but I hope perhaps someone can give unbiased and positive advice. I am an adult doing show jumping but it probably concerns other disciplines too, although I feel it is most acute in sj. It is about how to cope when not being to able to compete at a level you wish. Equestrian sport is something not everyone can afford. Those who start at a young age thanks to being a member of equestrian family, having parents with good financial resources or having close connections, gain much experience and go far with little time. Where I live, I am seeing more and more children and teens with little jumping and no competition experience buying a more or less “ready to ride” horse and within about a year competing in (inter)national young or even senior (1.40+ m, called in my region) classes. I started at late teens/young adult and had pauses due to mostly financial and horse health reasons. I had to share my first horse, who had no competition and little jumping experience when bought, with other riders and it took me years to get to a level which is higher than low level adult category (in my country) but not yet senior, the horse went lame after we had some 1.30 m rounds. Now, after another pause, I have a young horse and my riding related acquaintances do not understand why I would not want to settle with lower classes and kind of forget my goal to ride in the future at senior level. I am not just that person who would give up because I had a late start, no top horses to ride and have to have a full-time job plus help of family member to even do that sport. Actually, after I got placed in one round, one equestrian family member made a comment which basically meant that I am not even considered as a serious rider, perhaps because of not having the opportunity to compete often or not ridden young classes before or not getting points in ranking (adults who do not ride senior height classes do not gain points in our national senior class ranking), I don’t know. I have no idea if I am going to reach my goals and as it physically hurts like hell to see or hear how someone is riding at such and such level and my options are limited, I appreciate advice that helps to deal with that and not feel like a crap rider.

  • #2
    Back 40 or so years ago I was looked at with disdain at the hunter-jumper stable I boarded at because I could not seem to jump higher that 3 1/2 feet (around 107 cm.)

    All I had to do was wait for decades. Even though I no longer jump, my highest jumping height now seems to be considered as a high jump (somewhat.) Back then adult hunter/jumper riders were ASSUMED to be able to jump at least 4 feet (122 cm.) and there were darn few adult hunter classes at 3"6'. If I did not have MS I would not have much problems competing, 2 1/2 feet--I never had a problem jumping 2 1/2 feet (76 cm.)

    I was looked down upon, I was disdained for not being a serious rider. But nowadays my riding teachers will listen to me, take what I say into consideration, and quite a few times add what I tell them to their teaching. Even though I am very disabled with my MS I am no longer considered an inferior rider.

    Patience! Who knows, in a decade or so a 10-20 cm high jump may be considered high, then you will be able to feel superior to those other riders. I used to feel so inferior as a rider because I could not jump over 3 1/2 feet, and now I read about riders who consider that REALLY HIGH.

    Your time will come.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mysport View Post
      Hello

      I don't know if anyone here has had a similar problem but I hope perhaps someone can give unbiased and positive advice. I am an adult doing show jumping but it probably concerns other disciplines too, although I feel it is most acute in sj. It is about how to cope when not being to able to compete at a level you wish. Equestrian sport is something not everyone can afford. Those who start at a young age thanks to being a member of equestrian family, having parents with good financial resources or having close connections, gain much experience and go far with little time. Where I live, I am seeing more and more children and teens with little jumping and no competition experience buying a more or less “ready to ride” horse and within about a year competing in (inter)national young or even senior (1.40+ m, called in my region) classes. I started at late teens/young adult and had pauses due to mostly financial and horse health reasons. I had to share my first horse, who had no competition and little jumping experience when bought, with other riders and it took me years to get to a level which is higher than low level adult category (in my country) but not yet senior, the horse went lame after we had some 1.30 m rounds. Now, after another pause, I have a young horse and my riding related acquaintances do not understand why I would not want to settle with lower classes and kind of forget my goal to ride in the future at senior level. I am not just that person who would give up because I had a late start, no top horses to ride and have to have a full-time job plus help of family member to even do that sport. Actually, after I got placed in one round, one equestrian family member made a comment which basically meant that I am not even considered as a serious rider, perhaps because of not having the opportunity to compete often or not ridden young classes before or not getting points in ranking (adults who do not ride senior height classes do not gain points in our national senior class ranking), I don’t know. I have no idea if I am going to reach my goals and as it physically hurts like hell to see or hear how someone is riding at such and such level and my options are limited, I appreciate advice that helps to deal with that and not feel like a crap rider.
      I have bolded the parts that jump out at me. Your problem is not your riding ability, and your problem is not your horse.

      You problem is resentment, jealousy, envy and self-doubt, and because of that you are picking up on every casual comment that might be insulting.

      Nothing about this is specific to horses. You could feel this way about any sport that takes time, money, and talent to be competent in.

      You are never going to be happy with your horse and your riding until you stop comparing yourself to everyone else, and start to focus on what you can do in the moment. That means having short term goals (get Baby Pookie to his first schooling show without a meltdown), medium term goals (say, complete a 2 foot course with no faults), and long term goals that have to be flexible, because horses (within 5 years, Baby Pookie will be competing at 3 feet or I will have sold him to a junior rider and used the cash to buy a horse with more scope).

      Whatever level you are riding at, it will always "hurt like hell" to see that people with more cash, more support, and more talent are doing better than you, that is as long as you frame it to yourself that this "hurts like hell" because somehow the success of other people takes away the value of your own success. Honestly nobody except perhaps fleetingly the folks who win the Olympic Gold Medal that year are "competing at the level they want" because there is always a level above you to aspire to. This is true of all sports. That's why sports are competitive. They are structured to make you compete against other people.

      I remember watching a documentary on TV about "The British Royals and Their Horses." They interviewed Princess Zara (the neice of Queen Elizabeth) who said that year, her Olympic hopeful horse had an injury and she withdrew from competition. You can be an actual bona fide Princess (not just a pouty Hunter Princess) and still not have the right horse at the right time. That is horses.

      That said, people who succeed in any sport, but especially in horses, are those who are able to dwell inside themselves and measure themselves against themselves. The biggest milestones in your horsemanship life will not be in the competition arena; they will be in moments that are private between you and your horse, when you master a training goal or get something clear to your horse or have a big adventure. The 5 minute jumping round only measures one tiny facet and one tiny moment in time of your horsemanship.

      As far as your friends wondering why you want to go higher, well, stop rabbiting on to them about your hopes and dreams. It's possible that they think you are coming off as complaining and bitter and entitled and resentful, and they are trying to tell you to relax. So stop telling them how hard the world is treating you, and concentrate on starting your young horse. Don't crawl around trying to get people to recognize your "true potential" or your "dreams." No good horse man would say that a person doing a job good with their own young horse is "not a serious rider" if you are effectively doing your own training. it is true however, that if your own mark of a serious rider is someone who is accruing points in your regional competition system, and you are not doing so, then that's a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

      Get over yourself. Realize you are lucky to be where you are now, and many adults are not nearly as far along in riding a showing. Stop complaining about the world being unfair. The world is unfair. That's just a fact of life. It's true in every single metric you can imagine. Our character is determined by how graciously we overcome the setbacks and how modest we are about our advantages.

      Comment


      • #4
        I am a triathlete that started competing in my late 40s. I recently told a teammate i wasnt sure how i would like longer distances, because I'm fairly competent locally as an age group competitor in shorter races.

        She said "im going to give you some tough love. Get over yourself. Someone will always be faster. If you are only looking for a plastic medal you're missing the point."

        Same advice here. Someone will alwys be better, have more time to train, more money for horses, bikes, equipment, etc. You cant change that so enjoy what you have.

        Comment


        • #5
          Find and set your own goals and don't worry about what other people can do or get to do or what horses they can buy. Find a discipline that will give you goals that you can feel excited about. For example, in dressage, the fact that you get a numeric score on a test means you can compete against yourself quite nicely, and in the US there are goals like the Medals program for accumulating qualifying scores at each level.

          If you're doing jumpers, maybe your goal is to collect n clean rounds at y height over a year of showing, or to compete at a particular venue. If it's competitive trail, maybe it's to complete a 25 mile ride.

          Set goals that are accomplishments you control and that aren't about what anyone else does or doesn't do.

          Every high level horse starts as a young horse. Someone has to put in that work. Don't let others tell you it isn't of value.
          If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket

          Comment


          • #6
            "Comparison is the thief of joy."

            Follow your own path and keep your eyes on your own goals. Don't be distracted by what other people are doing. Don't be distracted by how you perceive that others are perceiving you.

            Comment

            Working...
            X