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WWYD if this was your child?

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  • #21
    Don't push her outside of her comfort zone. if she will get on, sit there for a few seconds, and get off, that's fine. Maybe she will get on and off a few times. Don't ask her to walk off, not even a step, until she is ready. One step is fine. I would give her a chance to overcome her fear gradually before I sent the pony home. You'll know if won't work. One of the lesson kids had a bad fall, no injuries, that the instructor had a hand in (fired!). She did grooming and ground work at first. When she was ready to get back on, they used pads and a surcingle that therapy riders use. She has a very good, patient instructor. She was on a lead line for a while, and looked uncomfortable.. Things improved because she called the shots and no one pushed her. Her family was willing to help her work through her fears. She's back at it and becoming a very good rider. She is enjoying herself again. It took several months, but it was a worthwhile investment.
    Tussman's law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

    "Providence sometimes takes care of idiots." Agnes Morley Cleaveland, No Life for a Lady, 1977.

    Comment


    • #22
      I haven't seen the video of the teaching, but fully agree that riders need time to process instruction--some more than others. This means the instructor needs to give the instruction (what to do, and how to do it, and how she'll know when she's got it right). And then shut up and let her do it without constant corrections or new instructions. While she's working on this skill / task (maybe it's walking the short ends and trotting the long sides without letting horse break stride, for example), it's just fine to ignore for a moment that her heels have crept up, or she's not using her corners effectively. Common mistake for instructors to feel like they have to fill the entire time with their voice, otherwise they're not really teaching.

      And also have a clear lesson plan in advance.--we're going to work on xx skill using XX exercises. Outcome will be (for example) rider will execute a canter transition with 3 trot strides or less, or rider will maintain 2 point at the trot for 3 full turns of the arena. May feel overly structured at first but it's the best way to instill discipline in your teaching, and it helps the student see their own progress.

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      • #23
        Originally posted by mpsbarnmanager View Post
        This pony was going ready well for her, (see link)
        You see, I thought your daughter was just a tad inconfortable with this pony’s speed and the last video confirmed it when she said « no » when you (voice) told her to keep going after the tiny jump.

        I would send the pony back because too me, your daughter is not ready to ride this type of horse just yet.

        ETA:
        It's just disappointing to see her give up on him.
        And I see way too many ladies hanging onto their horses despite being totally overwhelmed and therefore putting themselves in stupid and dangerous situations just ‘cause they « don’t want to give up » on them.

        Teach your kid to make good choices for her.
        Riding is dangerous and self preservation is a good skill to have.
        Last edited by alibi_18; Oct. 3, 2019, 01:35 AM.
        ~ Enjoying some guac and boxed wine at the Blue Saddle inn. ~

        Originally posted by LauraKY
        I'm sorry, but this has "eau de hoarder" smell all over it.
        HORSING mobile training app

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        • #24
          I would send the pony back. He's too much for your daughter. It's quite apparent in the videos that it's not the best match and not something to force her to grow into. She's still so small, and needs a quieter, perhaps smaller mount IMO.

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          • #25
            If you were honest and objective, you would agree that now your daughter needs some time and experience to come to the understanding of how these kinds of things happen, and to develop the horsemanship to handle them, whether she comes off or not. And you know that this kind of learning takes time and experience on safe horses so she can go beyond the experience with the pony. Those horses are NOT this pony. Lease horses, lease ponies, give her an older horse, plan the course of her growth, but it won't include this pony. It doesn't matter what YOU think or what you want or feel should happen. It matters what she needs and you will either advocate for her or you won't.

            Get rid of the pony. Its not for her right now.
            Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

            Comment


            • #26
              I'd lease a small quiet pony that she can just play with. Something she could hop on bareback and be safe, or wtc and pop over tiny things. More woah than go. She seemed nervous and uncomfortable on that pony in the video. Most 6 yr olds need babysitter, safe, fun ponies that encourage braveness and confidence.

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              • #27
                Originally posted by mpsbarnmanager View Post

                He's just under 14.2, will measure a pony without shoes. I wanted something big enough a small adult could get on and school if need be.


                You need something that will never need an adult to get on it.
                "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in a confederacy against him."

                Comment


                • #28
                  She is 6. I wouldn't put any pressure on her at all. I would consider myself lucky that she wants to ride at all. I would let her ride the pony or horse that she wants to ride and is comfortable with. Send the other pony back.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Originally posted by CanteringCarrot View Post
                    I would send the pony back. He's too much for your daughter. It's quite apparent in the videos that it's not the best match and not something to force her to grow into. She's still so small, and needs a quieter, perhaps smaller mount IMO.
                    From watching the video I agree. She isn't really in control of the pony at the trot without the cues from the mom. I agree with the post that said if this kid can't trot around the ring independently on the pony she is not ready for it.

                    From what is posted, I would say the pony is too much for her at this point.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      What Poltroon said. My daughter got scared on a horse that had more go than whoa. I found an absolute saint of an old pony that never put a foot wrong. It gave me such joy to see DD cantering around the field on this pony. I found a different instructor for her. She is an adult now and loves horses.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by Palm Beach View Post



                        You need something that will never need an adult to get on it.
                        Yes!!!!

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Something similar happened to me as a 10 year old. My parents tried every thing, but I did not want to ride that pony ever again. We ended up trading him for another which got me back into the saddle.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            As a mom of a kid (now 11) who rides naughty ponies who try and sometimes succeed in getting her off- you need a starter pony.

                            She needs to have fun at 6. Painting the pony, bonding, walking it around. Learning things as long as it is FUN.

                            Now my kid will get on practically anything. Our current lease pony is a FABULOUS guy---- until he isn't. He has a wicked buck, we always know the day when he may attempt it and attempt to thwart him with a lunge or long walk.

                            He went to WEC and rocked around. He went to a show last week and bucked her off. I was ready to send Jeckle and Hyde back (owner was there watching) but my kid WANTS to ride it. He's a free lease (because he is well known for his tricks). We keep up with his chiro etc- he is just a rotten pony sometimes. He'd be OUT THE DOOR if . my kid didn't want to ride him. He's lucky that most of the time he is perfect and we are never surprised when he is an ass- we see it coming a mile away- and sometimes we bail and don't ride him.

                            She got to be brave and with the skills to cope and stick (and pop up and say "I'm Fine" if a monster does get her off- it isn't like this is a daily occurrence) because she got her wheels on an old, saintly (mostly) not cutest pony. He wasn't an auto pony and had some tricks- but maybe 90% saint. He'd trot as slow as he needed, he'd jump anything around.

                            It is much less scary falling off a small or small medium that is crawling around than a large with a bit of a motor, like the one in the video. (he isn't bad- he just is more forward than may be comfortable) .


                            That is the type of pony I hope you can find. The pony in the video is a nice guy. Right now your kid (and she's only 6) just doesn't have the balance that this pony looks like he favors. Some ponies will oblige a little pulling on their mouth etc.

                            This isn't a critique of your kid- she's 6. It is just what "I" think she needs at this stage- because OP- I have BEEN THERE.

                            Below is the chestnut saint who gave her the confidence to ride the black one.

                            Good luck and HAVE FUN.
                            Attached Files
                            Last edited by Pennywell Bay; Oct. 3, 2019, 09:47 AM. Reason: added pic of saint
                            Come to the dark side, we have cookies

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              The child is six. Just six. Let her play with a safe pony and have fun at her own pace, doing her own things.
                              No matter where you go, there you are

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                I agree that the pony is not a good fit for her. I might ask her if she would get on the pony while you lead her around (and promise not to let go) just to give her the experience of being safe on him again. Emotionally the loss of control from a bolt can be more scary than the actual fall. If she can't do it, just move on. If she can, do exactly what you promised and don't try for more.
                                Any new pony may need to be super quiet to build her confidence.

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #36
                                  Thanks for all the replies. Some truth bombs in here, but I needed to hear them. Here is a link of her lesson/lease pony in a lesson for comparison. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?sto...00000069618910
                                  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fentre...24774504235082

                                  http://fentressfieldsequestriancenter.com/

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Originally posted by MsM View Post
                                    I agree that the pony is not a good fit for her. I might ask her if she would get on the pony while you lead her around (and promise not to let go) just to give her the experience of being safe on him again. Emotionally the loss of control from a bolt can be more scary than the actual fall. If she can't do it, just move on. If she can, do exactly what you promised and don't try for more.
                                    Any new pony may need to be super quiet to build her confidence.
                                    My fear with that though is that she will think ponies are disposable and it's ok to get rid of anything she falls off of. Maybe she won't look at it that way but I definitely don't want to give her that impression. I also want her to have fun though. 😬😬😬😬
                                    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fentre...24774504235082

                                    http://fentressfieldsequestriancenter.com/

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by mpsbarnmanager View Post

                                      My fear with that though is that she will think ponies are disposable and it's ok to get rid of anything she falls off of. Maybe she won't look at it that way but I definitely don't want to give her that impression. I also want her to have fun though. 😬😬😬😬
                                      At 6, you can have a talk with her.

                                      Do you think you want to ride XXXXXXXXXXXx again?
                                      (prob no)
                                      Ok- so since he still belongs to Betty and she was kind enough to let us borrow him, we are going to send him back to Betty so another child can enjoy him. We'll find one that is just perfect for you!


                                      Trust me, it gets easier.
                                      I so feel you on ALL accounts.(and I want to steal the grey lesson pony)
                                      Come to the dark side, we have cookies

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by mpsbarnmanager View Post

                                        My fear with that though is that she will think ponies are disposable and it's ok to get rid of anything she falls off of. Maybe she won't look at it that way but I definitely don't want to give her that impression. I also want her to have fun though. 😬😬😬😬
                                        Then don't tell her you are sending the pony back because she is afraid of it.

                                        There are any number of reasons an owner might want their pony back, like they want it for something, or they found another rider for it, etc.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by mpsbarnmanager View Post

                                          My fear with that though is that she will think ponies are disposable and it's ok to get rid of anything she falls off of. Maybe she won't look at it that way but I definitely don't want to give her that impression. I also want her to have fun though. 😬😬😬😬
                                          If she did think that, you can then work on that, easier than reinforce a bad experience by pushing her past she can handle horse wise.

                                          I can't see any videos, not signed on fb, so can say about the horse.
                                          For a 6 year old size should not matter, as long as an adult is helping, as it should at that age.

                                          The advantage of a suitable smaller horse is that the kid can do more, help brushing and saddling and such.
                                          For a small kid, it is physically easier to ride a small, thinner horse.
                                          That for a 6 year old means more like 12 or 13 hands.
                                          If the best kid horse available is taller, that is fine too, just takes more help until kid grows up more.

                                          At that age, modeling horse handling by a sensible adult so kids learn about horses and caring for them and having other kids to enjoy the experience with means more than "learning" to ride, that comes later.

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