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  • #41
    I know it was mentioned once or twice, but depending on just how limiting her issues are, if there is a therapeutic program near you at all, it would be worth contacting them and seeing if they have any interest.

    Please don't send her to a rescue that is telling you they are already having trouble staying afloat. That is only going to get worse through the winter as well.

    I agree that she needs to be gone by the point in which your hay will run out. Then you need to take the energy you've both put into her and the rescue and get yourself a part-time job. Once these two things are off your plate, you'll likely be surprised by how easily you can juggle a part time job and keep your grades up. Plus then you'll have a ready, legitimate reason that you can't be the go-to freebie caretaker for your family. I can appreciate your desire to help your family, but especially in the case of your sister - considering how to manage childcare should factor into the decision to have kids in the first place.

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    • #42
      This might not be a popular idea among many but if you are near any foxhunts or carnivore centers (rescue center for large cats tigers, lions, etc) they will take horses, euthanize by shooting (but do this often so generally very good at this) and then use the body to feed the animals. Generally they charge a minimal amount for this or nothing. The horse cannot be euthanized with drugs of course
      That being said I would also contribute to help pay for a vet to euthanize the horse

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #43
        The amount of support I’m getting is really touching my heart during this stressful situation. But I am trying my best. Doing some small chores around the house or neighborhood sounds like a good idea if I can find some time. A little can go a long way.

        Regarding finding a vet who will euth and is affordable (I will most likely ask if there are payments if I don’t have the money upfront. I will also ask about hauling to a clinic for the process, however it will be a very awkward ride with my dad since I can’t drive a trailer).. if I find one, should I let them know of my situation ahead of time? Perhaps say something like “If the situation isn’t looking so good, I will have her euthanized.”? I know one veterinary clinic mentioned they must know the reason for euthanizing an animal before they agree, and that is very understandable. Also, could I be too young to ask for the euthanizing of an animal?

        It still breaks my heart to even think of the idea after seeing her play so happily in the pasture this morning and jog after me.

        Comment


        • #44
          Do you live in an area w coyotes? A well placed bullet vs chemicals will spare many household cats. Dark thought but true. Once dead, their body is a renewable resource if not chemically damaged.

          I admire your desire to care your 100% best for her, but quite frankly that will not be her future. Sorry for your situation that forces these adult decisions on you. Sad that your parents cannot adult with you. Me i'd be there for you, and her.

          hugs.



          Comment


          • #45
            I created a profile just so that I could respond to this thread - I am so very sorry that you are in this position, OP, and I truly commend you for your maturity and sensitivity in trying to deal with it.

            If I may ask, where are you located (in general terms)? I am a veterinarian in Ontario, Canada. If you are anywhere close to me, I will try to connect you with someone who can help.

            If you aren't nearby - please call all of the veterinary offices that you had previously called in regard to euthanasia. Tell them (clearly) what your situation is - that you are a minor without the financial support of your parents; that you are about to run out of hay and have an aged horse with limited options - and ask them if they know of a rescue organization or an individual who might be willing to help. Most veterinary offices are well aware of the rescues local to them, and many have a handful of friends and clients who would be willing to take a horse in a rough situation and provide what care is needed (even if that is euthanasia). Your local veterinarians are probably the people who are the most connected to help you in this situation. There is also the possibility that if you start the conversation in this way, you may find one who is willing to help you out with the euthanasia fee (probably not the disposal of her remains, but at least the euthanasia itself). Call and ask - someone out there knows someone who can help you.

            I wish you luck and peace as you attempt to take care of your mare. She is lucky to have you.

            Edited to add: At least in my neck of the woods, you will need one of your parents to sign the consent forms for euthanasia, if that is what you choose to do. You can certainly call and make all of the arrangements for the procedure, but ultimately you cannot "consent" to it, as a minor.

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            • Original Poster

              #46
              Originally posted by RedBayMare View Post
              I created a profile just so that I could respond to this thread - I am so very sorry that you are in this position, OP, and I truly commend you for your maturity and sensitivity in trying to deal with it.

              If I may ask, where are you located (in general terms)? I am a veterinarian in Ontario, Canada. If you are anywhere close to me, I will try to connect you with someone who can help.

              If you aren't nearby - please call all of the veterinary offices that you had previously called in regard to euthanasia. Tell them (clearly) what your situation is - that you are a minor without the financial support of your parents; that you are about to run out of hay and have an aged horse with limited options - and ask them if they know of a rescue organization or an individual who might be willing to help. Most veterinary offices are well aware of the rescues local to them, and many have a handful of friends and clients who would be willing to take a horse in a rough situation and provide what care is needed (even if that is euthanasia). Your local veterinarians are probably the people who are the most connected to help you in this situation. There is also the possibility that if you start the conversation in this way, you may find one who is willing to help you out with the euthanasia fee (probably not the disposal of her remains, but at least the euthanasia itself). Call and ask - someone out there knows someone who can help you.

              I wish you luck and peace as you attempt to take care of your mare. She is lucky to have you.

              Edited to add: At least in my neck of the woods, you will need one of your parents to sign the consent forms for euthanasia, if that is what you choose to do. You can certainly call and make all of the arrangements for the procedure, but ultimately you cannot "consent" to it, as a minor.
              I’m located in the middle of the thumb of Michigan. I’m planning on trying to make calls sometime this weekend to get information or Friday as I know many vet places close early or completely on weekends. By the time I get home from class and finish chores on Thursday, many clinics will have closed by then. I remember contacting as many rescues as I could last year and they were all at full capacity or there was a wait list. I’m keeping hope, but preparing for the worst. Keeping my fingers crossed for the best.

              Again, I can’t thank this forum enough for the advice and support from everyone.

              Comment


              • #47
                Originally posted by TwistedBeauty View Post
                The amount of support I’m getting is really touching my heart during this stressful situation. But I am trying my best. Doing some small chores around the house or neighborhood sounds like a good idea if I can find some time. A little can go a long way.

                Regarding finding a vet who will euth and is affordable (I will most likely ask if there are payments if I don’t have the money upfront. I will also ask about hauling to a clinic for the process, however it will be a very awkward ride with my dad since I can’t drive a trailer).. if I find one, should I let them know of my situation ahead of time? Perhaps say something like “If the situation isn’t looking so good, I will have her euthanized.”? I know one veterinary clinic mentioned they must know the reason for euthanizing an animal before they agree, and that is very understandable. Also, could I be too young to ask for the euthanizing of an animal?

                It still breaks my heart to even think of the idea after seeing her play so happily in the pasture this morning and jog after me.
                So have you had this conversation with your parents? "Mom and Dad, we can't afford the horse and owe it to her to euthanize her so that she doesn't starve to death?"

                Do you have a regular vet? It seems like they could be useful in negotiating this conversation with your parents.

                I guess I'm confused about how you have the horse but no support from the parents. What do they think will happen?

                The last thing I'd be worried about is an "awkward ride with your dad" if the alternative is watching your horse starve. Perhaps your parents need to read this thread? No one wants to buy this horse. Period. Many of us have one just like it in our backyards already - there is no demand for older, limited horses that are likely to need more and more support as they age.

                Comment


                • #48
                  Originally posted by TwistedBeauty View Post
                  I’m keeping hope, but preparing for the worst. Keeping my fingers crossed for the best.
                  TwistedBeauty, please, don't think of humane euthanasia as 'the worst'. It isn't. The worst would be your beloved mare getting passed on to another owner and another and another with no one willing to spend the funds to care of her properly until she is in far worse shape than she is now.

                  A comment in a recent episode of The Zoo: San Diego really hit home for me after the zoo veterinarians and animal keepers had to make the tough decision to euthanize one of their lions due to his declining health. One of the vets made the comment 'you don't want their last day to be their worst day'. So very true.

                  As long as you are in charge of her, you can ensure this won't happen as you can pamper and spoil her up to the very end. She will know no different as you will absorb her pain and make it yours.

                  I hope your parents can help support your journey along this tough path with whatever choices you are able to make in your mare's best interest, regardless of how much it hurts. We've all been there at some point with a beloved animal. It hurts but they are at peace.
                  Last edited by Where'sMyWhite; Sep. 19, 2019, 04:41 PM.
                  When you start to observe, you become more effective... your movements soften, you see more, you are more available to becoming a team member. Be an Observer first, a Handler second.

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Thank You RedBayMare for offering your prof support to the OP. Michigan and Ontario border each other so that's hopeful.

                    I think I can understand how a teenager with reluctant parents ends up with a horse they can't afford. The daughter convinces the family that she wants this horse more than anything and will do all it takes to look after her and pay her way. Parents who have zero experience with horses, or just a tiny amount (remembering Auntie Jean's cute pony growing up) and maybe a bit of property but not a lot of financial resources can sometimes acquiesce without thinking it through in terms of real time and responsibility.

                    By now the horse is old news for the parents and sixteen is an age where many are expecting their kids to step up and deal with life. Unfortunately this 'tough love' approach can mean having no investment in the welfare of the animal. I've seen it more than once.

                    OP, I'm not trying to describe your personal scenario, just responding to S1969 as to how I think these situations can arise.

                    Regarding the way you foresee the vet encounter playing out, I haven't experienced where horses are hauled to a clinic for an exam followed by euth. Around here, the vet comes to your property or boarding barn and the discussion is had on site. So after sharing some details over the phone, you would get your regular vet out to where the horse is, at which point you'd clearly lay out your dilemma. I understand that things may be done differently elsewhere.

                    Don't feel a bunch of pressure to get this done immediately. You say your mare is on good grass right now and as RedBayMare soundly advised, your best bet is to start calling all the vets in the area and see what solutions might morph from that angle. Keep a timeline in your head that say for example, one month from now, you will have the situation solved. This takes away the element of panic. Nobody makes good decisions when they're panicking.



                    Keep up the good work OP!
                    Last edited by ohmyheck; Sep. 19, 2019, 03:39 PM. Reason: clarity
                    One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
                    William Shakespeare

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by Where'sMyWhite View Post
                      ...
                      A comment in a recent episode of The Zoo: San Diego really hit home for me after the zoo veterinaries and animal keepers had to make the tough decision to euthanize one of their lions due to his declining health. One of the vets made the comment 'you don't want their last day to be their worst day'. So very true.
                      ..
                      I love this!
                      One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
                      William Shakespeare

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #51
                        Originally posted by S1969 View Post

                        So have you had this conversation with your parents? "Mom and Dad, we can't afford the horse and owe it to her to euthanize her so that she doesn't starve to death?"

                        Do you have a regular vet? It seems like they could be useful in negotiating this conversation with your parents.

                        I guess I'm confused about how you have the horse but no support from the parents. What do they think will happen?

                        The last thing I'd be worried about is an "awkward ride with your dad" if the alternative is watching your horse starve. Perhaps your parents need to read this thread? No one wants to buy this horse. Period. Many of us have one just like it in our backyards already - there is no demand for older, limited horses that are likely to need more and more support as they age.
                        They thought it was easy to own a horse. Just let it eat grass and water and live till death.

                        With my parents having no knowledge of horses and me wanting to give proper care to my horse that often costed some money, we butted heads a lot.

                        They complained when I set farrier appointments, complained when I bought vitamins, supplements, or feeds (since she’s not getting younger), complained when I freaked out about injuries and wanted to call the vet, complained when I cried about not being able to pick out her feet for 6 weeks (I broke my wrist) because she had severe thrush, the list goes on. It’s been hard. They just don’t understand. Lately they don’t seem to care as long as I pay for it, but that’s not much.

                        Honestly, I don’t know what my parents would think what will happen. They most likely expect me to get rid of her very soon, so they aren’t worried.


                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #52
                          Update on the rescue:

                          Most likely a no-go. I’ve texted her multiple times, contacted her husband to let her know I left some important messages, and no direct response from her. Instead, she posted in our team member group basically saying “If you’ve been trying to contact me, I am buried head to toe trying to get things done and you aren’t the only one needing me to do things for you, but I’m trying my best to get to everyone. Please understand.” In my text, I explained my situation, left the suggestion of fostering my own horse, and said that if she couldn’t do that in time, perhaps she can give me alternative people or organizations to contact.

                          She then posted an update on the farm. We are preparing (preparing pastures for winter mud, building stalls, replacing fencing) to move the most recent rescue horses out of the quarantine pasture to make room for new rescue horses coming soon.

                          I will take this as a no, there isn’t anything she can do for my mare for a while. A rescue is hard work and priorities are kept straight, and I respect that. I don’t if she’d be able to take in my mare with 1-3 more rescues, but I won’t bet on it. I will continue to do my research and get in touch with as many organizations, different vets (get quotes and discuss my situation), farms, trusted people, to see what else I can do for my girl. I can’t believe how quickly September had passed. In the meantime, I’m still saving whatever money I can and keeping her as happy as can be

                          I hope to keep this thread updated for everyone eventually.

                          Also a random note, I recently have been assigned an assignment to create a personal essay (we are working on resumes and college applications, some larger universities require a personal essay upon applying to evaluate something else besides your grades). Many of the prompts given for the essay have to do with something that has affected you, whether it’s an event or an obstacle, and I believe that this situation is perfect to write about. It’s something personal and something I’m passionate about. It’s not pretty, it’s not all that happy, but it’s surely something I’ve learned from. Sacrifices will be made with tough decisions for the better, and it has changed the way I perceive commitments, risks, consequences, and has helped me grow in more than one way.

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Originally posted by TwistedBeauty View Post

                            I’m located in the middle of the thumb of Michigan. I’m planning on trying to make calls sometime this weekend to get information or Friday as I know many vet places close early or completely on weekends. By the time I get home from class and finish chores on Thursday, many clinics will have closed by then. I remember contacting as many rescues as I could last year and they were all at full capacity or there was a wait list. I’m keeping hope, but preparing for the worst. Keeping my fingers crossed for the best.

                            Again, I can’t thank this forum enough for the advice and support from everyone.
                            Well, as I'm in Michigan as well, the good news is, you should have good grass for at least another month, if how often I still have to mow is any indication. I certainly can appreciate how easy it is for money to get very tight - especially with where you live, but you've still got some time

                            You absolutely need to make sure you've got something figured out before November, either getting enough hay together to get through a Michigan winter that they are predicting could be very snowy, or euthanasia, or some sort of placement.

                            Have you done a general facebook search for rescue support in Michigan? While they may be full, some of them may have some additional suggestions or even a network of foster homes. I have a friend who has kept a mini mule as a foster for years as her companion animal for a single horse. If your horse is relatively up to date on vet and farrier care, and is still in good weight, there might be some foster options available.

                            Couple ones I found:

                            Starry Skies Equine Rescue - Ann Arbor (this is the one my friend got her mule through)
                            Michigan Horse Welfare Coalition - doesn't have a specific sanctuary, but may have some suggestions for you
                            Facebook group - Michigan Horse Rescue's and Adoption - I probably wouldn't straight out list her here just for the worry of kill buyers trying to pick her up but there are several suggestions on this page

                            I'm sure there are others, but this was what a quick search brought up for me.

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              TwistedBeauty I think you are spot on in selecting this topic for your paper. The best papers like this often are based on writing from the heart about something you've had to deal with; your emotions, the rollercoaster ride, how you made the decisions you did (whatever they may end up being).

                              It can be a great opportunity to show your ability to feel as well as making adult type decisions. A topic, I suspect, that won't be a 'usual' topic as well

                              Whether you find a rescue or you end up letting her go to ensure she has a good and peaceful end, writing about this I think is a great idea. Writing may also help you sort out your thoughts about what you can do, what you'd like to do, and what you end up doing.

                              When you start to observe, you become more effective... your movements soften, you see more, you are more available to becoming a team member. Be an Observer first, a Handler second.

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                This may be a dead end, but you could reach out to your local animal control and see if they have any options for funds to assist with euthanasia. I suspect they'd rather help someone with getting a euthanasia done than having to investigate a starvation case.

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