Stallion Spotlight

Vitalis_img_4461skawx LL_Fotos

Real Estate Spotlight

untitled (115 of 123)-Edit
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You�re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it�details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums� policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it�s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users� profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses � Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it�s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who�s selling it, it doesn�t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions � Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services � Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products � While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements � Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be �bumped� excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues � Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators� discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you�d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user�s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

A rant about horsewomen

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • A rant about horsewomen

    Sooooo...I seem to collect psycho horsewomen. I seem to somehow attract the batshit crazy drama freaks. I don't go actively seeking out these women, both they find me.
    I'm a loner, the kind that comes to the barn to play with my horses and go home. Occasionally, I sit and chat with a few other boarders while our kids play or ride. I'm well liked in my barn but I don't gossip or get involved in anything. I may help the lesson kids or a person who is having trouble since we have several new horse owners that need a hand now and then, like catching a horse who doesn't want to be caught or helping fit a new bridle. Things that normal horse people do from time to time.
    What I don't do is feel the need to bully anyone in my barn. I don't step on anyone's toes, or try to say that my way is the ONLY way and if you don't do it my way, you are worthless. I mind my business, am friendly and helpful, respectful but I'm not weak.
    Somehow being a good person seems to send off signals that draw all the craziest of friggin crazy like moths to a flame.
    Why do horsewomen feel the need to try to wedge themselves in and take over? Why do horsewomen get friggin hysterical when they can't bully someone?
    Ok I know that not all horsewomen are like this but come on, how many of you know drama queens that just are so mental that if you don't do what they demand they try to ruin you? I think we all have experienced someone like this and I just don't get it.
    I know women who aren't horsewomen that wouldn't do some of the nasty crap that one woman is currently trying to do to me. (Nope sorry. Not telling the back story on this one as this situation may need law enforcement at some point.) The non-horsewomen I know don't seem to be capable of doing the kind of low life trash talking that this woman is doing about me and she doesn't even board with us!!
    She just took it upon herself to not like me and start rumors about me. Does it bother me? Yeah because I just don't understand why.
    And somehow this is what I attract by minding my own business, not getting personal with anyone but still being friendly and approachable: the crazy horsewomen that pop Xanax like it's M&Ms, the ones that try to weasel their way into my personal life and get psycho when I don't let them.
    I'm no one special. I'm just me. Plain boring me. But I must have a scent or an invisible sign that says I love crazy drama because I attract crazy like it's the hot new trend.
    ​​​​​​im happily married, have a decent horse, nothing special but somehow I'm sending off vibes that say IF YOU'RE CRAZY COME SCREW WITH MY LIFE.

    Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel like they attract pyscho by doing nothing?
    ​​​​

  • #2
    Please elaborate on the specific behaviors that annoy you.

    Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.
    Alfred A. Montapert

    Comment


    • #3
      Oftentimes people who claim to hate drama have a knack for stirring plenty up.

      Overstating/ lying about one's abilities invites drama, especially when it puts others in harms way.
      Promising or interjecting help when none is wanted, or conversely-- promising help then having it be harmful or worse, the help is unreliable.. can invite drama.
      Being private is one thing, but hiding when others are about will invite drama.
      Neglecting personal hygiene can invite drama.
      Being unsafe, even with just your own horse, will invite drama.
      Failure to abide by barn rules will cause drama.
      Complete lack of social awareness will invite drama.

      As pluvinel said, we'd need more info if you want help. Otherwise, I hope the rant helped you a little bit. Always good to vent. But also, it may be time for some self examination.

      Comment


      • #4
        So a person who doesn't board at your barn, aka some random person you dont seem to have to be around in any capacity, talks about you.

        Suggest you tell the people who are telling you these stories that you would prefer not to hear them.

        Your associates regaling you with random people's opinions seem to be the real and controllable issue here.
        Let me apologize in advance.

        Comment


        • #5
          How strange that someone who chooses to come on a forum mostly populated by horsewomen to rant about horsewomen would be having drama problems in their real life.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by bip View Post
            How strange that someone who chooses to come on a forum mostly populated by horsewomen to rant about horsewomen would be having drama problems in their real life.
            And it's something she's done several times over the course of her time on these forums.

            Comment


            • #7
              And we're supposed to help, when we have no idea what we're helping with?
              Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

              Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.

              Comment


              • #8
                Now y’all! You’d better stop or you’ll be labeled bullies and gossips too!

                In my opinion, posts that say “I want advice but don’t want to tell you what the problem is” are ridiculous! And they are really just looking for attention, and not advice!
                "You can't fix stupid"- Ron White

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cutter99 View Post
                  Now y’all! You’d better stop or you’ll be labeled bullies and gossips too!

                  In my opinion, posts that say “I want advice but don’t want to tell you what the problem is” are ridiculous! And they are really just looking for attention, and not advice!
                  Nah.. sometime folks post to vent or bounce ideas off others, while being fully aware of how small the horse community is. Folks to prod for more information once it's been clearly stated that none will be forthcoming **might** just fall into the 'bully' category

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Horsewomen = Drama. Not all of 'em, but a lot more than in some other activities.

                    I was once the sole male on a board of directors of a Dressage group with 12 women (IIRC about the specific number). It was an education.

                    Still, I can think of some activities were Males = Drama (the historical re-enactor world comes to mind). Just of a different sort.

                    If the atmosphere in a barn is "bad," then move. If a body finds the atmosphere to be "bad" where ever they go then many the it's not the "barn" that is the problem.

                    G.



                    Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raa, Uma Paixo

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So true, Guilherme, so true.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You allude to involving "law enforcement" and all you say is a random person is badmouthing you---yet you complain about "drama".
                        "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

                        ...just settin' on the Group W bench.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The original post has a certain flair for dramatic wording that could be part of the explanation re: attracting the crazies at the barn.

                          And Guilherme, your biases are showing. Not a flattering look. Given how underrepresented men are in many parts of the horse world, the number of contributions I've witnessed by male people to unnecessary interpersonal conflict at barns is truly impressive. Gotta give the gents a hand for punching above their weight in the drama llama olympics.

                          IMO horses attract oddballs and needy personalities, and that's not a gendered process (certainly not independently of the more general social trend for horses to be perceived as a women's activity and to be marketed to girls). But "doing nothing" usually doesn't invite the antisocial or impulse control-impaired members of either gender to congregate in your end of the barn aisle. If someone has gone so far as to "try to ruin you" there's probably something going on that others don't perceive as "minding your business".

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            What's the expression? If you have the same problem with everyone, maybe you're the problem?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What's the expression? If you have the same problem with everyone, maybe you're the problem?

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                just walk away ...
                                Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  In all the training I had as a supervisor/manager, the intent was to focus on the behavior rather than opinion of that behavior.

                                  Eg., what I thought was "bad" (this is a judgement/opinon) could be construed as "not bad" by the person with whom I am having the review.

                                  Therefore the guidance that was given to all managers (basically to keep the company out of legal hot water) was to focus on the "inappropriate" behavior and discuss how that behavior/actions (or performance) needed to change.

                                  This was for both performance reviews and for "performance improvement plans" (PIP's) when someone was a sub-par performer and on their way to termination.
                                  Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.
                                  Alfred A. Montapert

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by x-halt-salute View Post
                                    The original post has a certain flair for dramatic wording that could be part of the explanation re: attracting the crazies at the barn.

                                    And Guilherme, your biases are showing. Not a flattering look. Given how underrepresented men are in many parts of the horse world, the number of contributions I've witnessed by male people to unnecessary interpersonal conflict at barns is truly impressive. Gotta give the gents a hand for punching above their weight in the drama llama olympics.

                                    No bias at all. Just a different experience from ANY other organization I was ever part of (and I've been in many where there has an over-representation of one gender or the other, as well as reasonably close numbers.

                                    IMO horses attract oddballs and needy personalities, and that's not a gendered process (certainly not independently of the more general social trend for horses to be perceived as a women's activity and to be marketed to girls). But "doing nothing" usually doesn't invite the antisocial or impulse control-impaired members of either gender to congregate in your end of the barn aisle. If someone has gone so far as to "try to ruin you" there's probably something going on that others don't perceive as "minding your business".
                                    Hold on thar, hoss. Just a moment ago you accused me of "bias" for a comment I made about my experience. Then you say, "IMO horses attract oddballs and needy personalities, and that's not a gendered process (certainly not independently of the more general social trend for horses to be perceived as a women's activity and to be marketed to girls)." Not a "gendered" process? You just explained WHY it was!!! Which is another way of saying just what the OP said in their opening post!!!

                                    I don't think my "bias," if any, is standing alone, here.

                                    G.
                                    Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raa, Uma Paixo

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by Guilherme View Post

                                      Hold on thar, hoss. Just a moment ago you accused me of "bias" for a comment I made about my experience. Then you say, "IMO horses attract oddballs and needy personalities, and that's not a gendered process (certainly not independently of the more general social trend for horses to be perceived as a women's activity and to be marketed to girls)." Not a "gendered" process? You just explained WHY it was!!! Which is another way of saying just what the OP said in their opening post!!!

                                      I don't think my "bias," if any, is standing alone, here.

                                      G.
                                      Well, G., as you know, this is COTH. And whether because it's a horse-people's BB, or because it just attracts certain types of generic people, it does seem populated by more harpies than any other BB to which I have ever belonged. I feel for you, buddy.

                                      I would say come over to some of the kinder, more mature, less catty, boards, but I don't want to advertise them to this crew.
                                      Rack on!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by Rackonteur View Post

                                        Well, G., as you know, this is COTH. And whether because it's a horse-people's BB, or because it just attracts certain types of generic people, it does seem populated by more harpies than any other BB to which I have ever belonged. I feel for you, buddy.

                                        I would say come over to some of the kinder, more mature, less catty, boards, but I don't want to advertise them to this crew.
                                        And yet here you are!
                                        "You can't fix stupid"- Ron White

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X