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Sports Psychology Books - my brain's messing with me!

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  • Sports Psychology Books - my brain's messing with me!

    I'll look through some of the older threads for suggestions, thanks!
    Last edited by stargzng386; May. 17, 2019, 04:18 PM.

  • #2
    You just need to get your anxiety under control. This isn't specifically sports related, its generalized anxiety.

    Your horse is in the best possible situation right now. Your horse is with a trainer that has a better track record than you in starting horses. All young horses are looky and tense. Hands down the horse has less anxiety about life than you do right now.

    Horses live in the moment. A few months of bad herd dynamics are not formative the way bullying could be for a child. Let go of the past. The horse already has, guaranteed.

    Of more concern is that you are putting money and hopes and dreams into a young horse that is not sound even before he is under saddle.

    I don't know where you are finding these horses that are all NQR, but IMHO a horse with hock arthritis and thin soles at age 3 is not from great stock. Are you in some epicenter of show ring or halter bred QH?

    What you really need is a good ranchbred horse that is going sound at 10 with a clean PPE and good feet, and lots of trail miles and exposure to machinery, cows, obstacles, etc.

    I think when people are on an anxiety spiral its hard to make good decisions, and hard to know when you have actually made a good decision, too. Anxiety will keep making you second guess good decisions.

    Also because anxiety feels natural, it blunts your instinct for when something really is wrong or a problem.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #3
      I'll look through some of the older threads for suggestions, thanks!
      Last edited by stargzng386; May. 17, 2019, 04:18 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Scribbler View Post
        You just need to get your anxiety under control. This isn't specifically sports related, its generalized anxiety.

        Your horse is in the best possible situation right now. Your horse is with a trainer that has a better track record than you in starting horses. All young horses are looky and tense. Hands down the horse has less anxiety about life than you do right now.

        Horses live in the moment. A few months of bad herd dynamics are not formative the way bullying could be for a child. Let go of the past. The horse already has, guaranteed.

        Of more concern is that you are putting money and hopes and dreams into a young horse that is not sound even before he is under saddle.

        I don't know where you are finding these horses that are all NQR, but IMHO a horse with hock arthritis and thin soles at age 3 is not from great stock. Are you in some epicenter of show ring or halter bred QH?

        What you really need is a good ranchbred horse that is going sound at 10 with a clean PPE and good feet, and lots of trail miles and exposure to machinery, cows, obstacles, etc.

        I think when people are on an anxiety spiral its hard to make good decisions, and hard to know when you have actually made a good decision, too. Anxiety will keep making you second guess good decisions.

        Also because anxiety feels natural, it blunts your instinct for when something really is wrong or a problem.
        This, all of it.

        I have anxiety as well. I have dealt with it for years. It often ends up causing a lot of perseverating and rumination regarding my horses. I learned, through years of therapy, how to manage my anxiety so it doesn't interfere in my horsemanship.

        I agree that a good chunk of your anxiety likely lies with the fact that you are banking your entire enjoyment of horses on a 3yo with a crapshoot of a health history who doesn't particular sound like he's cut out for a long, sound riding career.

        A horsewoman - who is now a good friend of mine - far wiser than myself once told me, after a five-day long clinic filled with middle-aged women with horses that were way too much for them, that she has come to firmly believe that most people have it complete ass backwards when it comes to working with horses. She said "most people will tell me the barn is their happy place - it's where they go to seek calm and peace in their hectic lives. Besides being an awful lot of pressure on their horses, it begs the question as to why they aren't seeking that calm OUTSIDE of the barn, where they really spend most of their time!"

        So, OP, I think you need to go to therapy more than "when needed", because your young horse's physical issues aside, someone with anxiety as severe as you describe it needs to be riding a broke-to-death, BTDT ol' cow pony that knows their job and isn't going to get rattled by an imperfect rider. How do I know? Because I royally ruined my first young horse because of my anxiety and my inability to step away and see that working with her more, doing more of this, more of that, way only making her worse because it wasn't WHAT we were doing, it was WHO was doing it. Scribbler is right - anxiety is like an eternally hungry monster - it looks for everything and anything to feed it. It's why we can all the sudden find ourselves worrying about the smallest detail that NEVER mattered before and is absolutely in no way something of even minuscule importance.

        No 3yo horse has any kind of timeline. That's something we make up. If I were you, I'd be kicking him out to live in a large 24/7 turnout situation with a band of young horses that would keep him active and let him grow up a little bit. Then I'd get myself into regular counseling and maybe talk with my medical provider about medication to help manage my anxiety. THEN maybe I'd find a nice, broke horse that I could enjoy and grow my skills on so I could really be there for that 3yo if and when he came sound enough to start backing.
        Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. Remember that what you have now was once among the many things that you only hoped for.

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #5
          I'll look through some of the older threads for suggestions, thanks!

          Comment


          • #6
            https://www.amazon.com/Winners-Mind-.../dp/1500542679

            I really like Lynda, she isn't a horseback rider which I find more useful because then she doesn't get caught in the minutiae of your ride, instead looks at the athlete's anxiety and works to help you stay in the moment. I use the techniques for all my students - regardless if they think they have anxiety over their ride or not.

            Comment


            • #7
              Another post that went poof when the OP didn't like our advice.

              Comment


              • #8
                Or maybe she realized she’d shared too much personal information. She sounded receptive to the advice she was given.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I hate it when I'm late to the party.
                  Founding Member: Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The OP situation was poster in intermittent therapy for anxiety. Lots going on currently IRL. Lost two horses early to unsoundness. Has 3 year old QH with hock arthritis and thin soles/hoof pads in training. OP was working up an anxiety spiral about whether trainer understood collt was a Special Petunia who was bullied by the Mean Horses in turnout at his last barn, and feeling guilt over not getting him out of there sooner because it left him with Personal Issues.

                    OP wanted sports psychology books to help her reboot her cognitive approach to the horse.

                    We responded that this is more generalized anxiety and not really sports per se. I understand sports psychology as being more about things like, losing your nerve in competition.

                    OP took her toys and went home because it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

                    Which raises the question of why give us all the back story about anxiety and guilt and buying a new house?

                    If I wanted recommendations for Product X I would just say: anyone have good ideas on this topic?

                    I know COTH well enough that if I also included a long back story about my mental health, my training problems, my quirky horse, that discussion would go down all kinds of avenues.

                    And often when this happens it lets the OP think outside the box, and they realize their problem is totally different from what they thought.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Frankly, if I wanted real advice I would not come to the internet forums --- this is a good place for a discussion, but one must be prepared to sort through what is offered and see if it relates or if the posters are really offering true advice.
                      Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique

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