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That unpleasant person at the barn.

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  • Rosem
    started a topic That unpleasant person at the barn.

    That unpleasant person at the barn.


  • pony grandma
    replied
    Originally posted by babecakes View Post
    This whole scenario is childish and immature.
    Precisely.

    Leave a comment:


  • CPL713
    replied
    Pennywell Bay exactly. Since BOs tend to be very aware of the value of each boarder to their bottom line, I'm sure paying board that far in advance for that reason is really only going to make the boarder very annoying to the BO.

    The one and only time I've ever had any sort of drama with someone at a barn (who was not a boarder but a SO -- ugh that person was the WORST), the BO was immediately aware of my value as a client vs. the other person's value and reacted accordingly...without me having to mention how much money I spend there or make any sort of threats at all.

    My advice to anyone who stumbles across this and wants to try a power play like that is to think twice about how the other side might receive it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pennywell Bay
    replied
    Conversation with BO

    "Susie mooches rides off of people. Susie also took tack I offered her and wasn't thankful enough for my liking. I also can guess she is going to get hurt. I also think, but can't be sure, she called me a bitch. I am also afraid she is going to video tape my rides. I bet everyone leaving is because of her. I gave you those gazebos. I think I give more than every other boarder. I moved my office to be near the barn and the lease is for a few years. I am going to write you a check because want you to see I am more valuable than she. I am also going to speculate on her future, what her kids will be like and her career path."


    Let me know how that works out for ya.

    Leave a comment:


  • meupatdoes
    replied
    Originally posted by Nezzy View Post
    OP, i would voice your concerns to BM/BO and explain that you have been considering bc of this person. Life is too short for BS.
    Considering that the teenager in question doesn't seem to have done anything to incur OP's festering resentment, it would be pretty annoying to be complained about for existing.

    The teenager and barn owner's lives are too short for BS, too.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nezzy
    replied
    OP, i would voice your concerns to BM/BO and explain that you have been considering bc of this person. Life is too short for BS.

    Leave a comment:


  • Obsidian Fire
    replied
    Originally posted by TheJenners View Post
    , if I lunged a horse the arena looked like the Hetapods from Arrival had been writing all over the place, because I moved my circles all over the arena instead of drilling one spot into the footing.

    It's called being considerate and not a brat, ie I pay to be here so I can treat the facility however I want. Those are the people that make me never want to board again.
    You cannot know how many BO's husbands have cause the shutdown of a facility over the never-ending maintenance caused by people with that attitude of 'whatever' mentioned above. It makes me grit my teeth. I strive to keep my "corner" of the property as good or even better than it was before I came, if that's possible!

    I too, lunge all over and not in one damn spot. Nor do I lunge endlessly. It has a point and a purpose, get it done.

    I've been to barns where turnout is not allowed in arenas because it does screw up the footing, and others where they don't care. In general, I don't care, since we live in mud-central for so much of the year, BUT - when the arena (as is my current situation) is *not* cared for, it does get very....... well it's not great. Leave it there.

    One time, and only once, I boarded at a barn run by my trainer. One of the first things she said to me was "I don't allow any DQ's here. There's only one (her) and that's it." You know what? It was FINE. Ran like a champ. Everybody got along, we all respected her - and each other (she screened her clients carefully too), and we all knew she'd listen if we had something to address.

    Biggest problems I've seen? Nobody enforces anything. Rules, well thought out ones, are posted. No follow thru. If anything, rule breaking encouraged! (oh yes, seen that one too). The "speshul" ones given the most leeway and consideration, while stepping all over those of us who mind our own business & go out of our way to make sure the barn stays in one piece and functional so the owner can feel less stressed when she comes home from work.

    It's a community. And I guess like every other community on the planet, somebody always has to throw a stink bomb into it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Calvincrowe
    replied
    I am so insanely grateful for my current barn. 40 horses, huge lesson program, zero drama. BO and trainers simply don't let it happen. Open communication, good rules, no "favorites", clear expectations, any issues discussed and dealt with. Yes, I know how lucky I am. Because I've been in far worse and seen lots of crazy. I just let it flow around me but I'm not afraid to confront stupid.

    Leave a comment:


  • TheJenners
    replied
    I for one have seen many arenas that do not allow turnout, and not just because of mirrors or windows. Horses ya-ya'ing around in an arena can dig up the footing way more than anything other than the most dedicated reining trainer. Heck I've seen arenas that don't even allow lungeing. If I had an arena and somehow lost my mind and started boarding, I certainly wouldn't allow any shenanigans. If someone is flying their dragon at the end of a lunge line, that counts as shenanigans. Even when I boarded and didn't have to pay for the arena (I've owned a couple...), if I lunged a horse the arena looked like the Hetapods from Arrival had been writing all over the place, because I moved my circles all over the arena instead of drilling one spot into the footing. It's called being considerate and not a brat, ie I pay to be here so I can treat the facility however I want. Those are the people that make me never want to board again.

    Leave a comment:


  • Edre
    replied
    The only arenas that I have seen explicitly bar indoor turn-out are ones with large glass windows or mirrors that cannot be covered.

    That said, most barns seem to have the standard rules. Lessons have the right of way. Then riders, then lunging. I am very grateful for a barn community that was understanding of my handwalking a horse in rehabilitation for 6 months (some days, very mannerly - other days a little more "diligence" required to safely be in company of). Ultimately the rule of thumb was that if your existence was overly disturbing/inhibiting to others, you were expected to excuse yourself and then return at a more appropriate time (less traffic, etc).

    At the end of the day, I find it unfortunate how much weight people (note: generic people - not directed at individuals here. I have individuals IRL who have troubles that run similarly to those discussed by all in this thread) give the social opportunities at barns. Oftentimes, it seems as if we get so wrapped up in "friends" and "social" and "liking/getting along with" everyone that we forget we're absolutely allowed to not like someone and go about our day, or be annoyed by them and then just move on. I have very little desire to integrate into social atmospheres in barns... it is easy enough to be polite, friendly, and gracious and then go about my day, regardless of how vexatious I may find someone's actions... "Excuse me, do you mind waiting to (ACTION) until I (am finished/out of proximity/clear of situation)?" is generally not an approach that goes awry.

    Leave a comment:


  • trubandloki
    replied
    In my part of the world the indoor is used for everything in the winter since there is no other place to do anything. A person hand walking has just as much right to the indoor as a person riding. Clearly everyone has to be polite and considerate, communicate where you are going and what you are doing. Using it for turn out is last on the use list though, but it is not unheard of for someone to ask if you can wait a minute so Dobbin can roll and stretch for a few minutes.
    Turning your horse loose while someone else is using the ring is dangerous and stupid, no matter where you are.

    Leave a comment:


  • mswillie
    replied
    Originally posted by Beck View Post

    Using the arena to ride in...so others do not have the opportunity to use it for turnout? While I cannot say I am on board with the stated intent, I don't think I would call that 'hogging' the arena. The space would be shared with others who want to ride, right? Hand-walking; maybe even longeing in some facilities. Seems to me turning your horse loose in it while other boarders wait to use it for riding would be 'hogging' the space.
    Absolutely no turn-out in the arena where I board. You can ride (of course), lounge, hand walk, long line, but you can't turn out.

    People pay board to have a place to ride. In addition horses turned loose in the arena tend to wreck the base.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pennywell Bay
    replied
    Originally posted by Beck View Post

    For the third time: I said I was not on board with her stated intent. (Which I am beginning to suspect may just possibly involve some hyperbole, anyway?)

    The final effect of her rushing to get several rides in is to shorten the time those several rides would take. Her motivation is a separate thing.
    I get it. I wasn't quoting to shame you.

    She was not ushing to get several rides in persay. She was rushing to not allow someone else enough time to turn out (by getting several rides in but getting ready very fast) by her own words.

    My only issue was with the poster who said she intentionally does it only when she sees the 3 amigos. I understand that you do not agree with the malicious intent behind it- the fact is endless climb was being intentionally difficult regarding those 3 people.

    And yes- riding in an arena should take precedent, posters were taking issue with the face that poster was only riding extra horses and being very fast about it to inconvenience someone else. It was not a "hey- I have 4 horses to ride so have to be super quick. There just isn't enough time between my rides to allow for turnout."

    I'm surprised so many people think that kind of vitriol is acceptable (not aimed at you, Beck- you are quoted b/c I was responding to you earlier).

    Leave a comment:


  • Beck
    replied
    Originally posted by JustTheTicket View Post

    In this case, however, the poster stated that while she has permission to ride a lot of horses, she usually doesn't unless the tres amigos are there, in which case she suddenly needs to ride them all so they can't turnout in the arena. That's...cute. Ride them all if you feel like it, but why do you only feel like it when they're there?
    For the third time: I said I was not on board with her stated intent. (Which I am beginning to suspect may just possibly involve some hyperbole, anyway?)

    The final effect of her rushing to get several rides in is to shorten the time those several rides would take. Her motivation is a separate thing.

    Leave a comment:


  • JustTheTicket
    replied
    Originally posted by Beck View Post

    First, I did say I was not 'on board' with the stated intent: to needle those people.

    But think of this:

    Riding generally is agreed to have priority in an indoor.

    If the OP (or anyone else) chooses to ride several horses for whatever reason, as she is entitled to do, and there are people waiting for the arena to be available for turnout after all the riding is done, it seems to me that in any event the polite approach is to get your riding done as quickly and efficiently as possible so those others do not have to wait as long for that availability That would include speeding up your grooming and tacking up processes. ("as fast as I can") Which would be most considerate thing to do. IMO.

    That is what I have done in a boarding situation when I had three horses in work and the only riding I could do was in evenings after my full time day job: get the animals groomed, tacked up, worked, cooled out, and put away as efficiently as I could so I was minimising any inconveneince to any other boarders. If you dawdle in your prep, that is time wasted for everyone. (Unless that time between rides/horses would be sufficient for their turnout needs: it rarely is, though IME)
    In this case, however, the poster stated that while she has permission to ride a lot of horses, she usually doesn't unless the tres amigos are there, in which case she suddenly needs to ride them all so they can't turnout in the arena. That's...cute. Ride them all if you feel like it, but why do you only feel like it when they're there?

    Leave a comment:


  • fanfayre
    replied
    Man, I WISH we could like more than 1 time, meupatdoes

    So well said!

    Mind you, I'm the only boarder, so the ring is always free, and my horse is out on grass as long as she wants (not atm, as there's 14" of #$%(ng snow on the ground, but she's roaming around in the snow) and I never have to worry about manure left in the aisle...

    Leave a comment:


  • Beck
    replied
    Originally posted by Pennywell Bay View Post

    Because of this statement

    "FWIW, I'm a little passive aggressive myself on these people. I know they like to let their horses out in the arena since they can't do much else with them. I have permission to ride many horses at the barn, though I typically don't. Except when... I can tell they want to let their horses out. I will ride every horse I can, tacking and untacking as fast as I can, to occupy the arena for as long as I can, to prevent them from turning their horses out. Maybe someday they'll catch on and pay the extra $40/month for 5 day a week turnout - a service the barn offers but they elect not to partake in."

    Not just riding- doing as many as quick just to needle these people.
    First, I did say I was not 'on board' with the stated intent: to needle those people.

    But think of this:

    Riding generally is agreed to have priority in an indoor.

    If the OP (or anyone else) chooses to ride several horses for whatever reason, as she is entitled to do, and there are people waiting for the arena to be available for turnout after all the riding is done, it seems to me that in any event the polite approach is to get your riding done as quickly and efficiently as possible so those others do not have to wait as long for that availability That would include speeding up your grooming and tacking up processes. ("as fast as I can") Which would be most considerate thing to do. IMO.

    That is what I have done in a boarding situation when I had three horses in work and the only riding I could do was in evenings after my full time day job: get the animals groomed, tacked up, worked, cooled out, and put away as efficiently as I could so I was minimising any inconveneince to any other boarders. If you dawdle in your prep, that is time wasted for everyone. (Unless that time between rides/horses would be sufficient for their turnout needs: it rarely is, though IME)
    Last edited by Beck; Feb. 12, 2019, 02:25 PM. Reason: Added clarification "between rides/horses"

    Leave a comment:


  • meupatdoes
    replied
    Originally posted by Obsidian Fire View Post

    FWIW, I'm with you on this.

    Arena's are NUMBER ONE for RIDING. Period.
    Another COTH spirit animal.

    Arena = RIDE


    Not longe round and round interminably, not demand that everyone clear out for the duration of a beginner walk trot lesson (even if they can't steer, guess what *I can*), not for sitting in the saddle backwards while you walk out your pony, not for hand walking endlessly and forcing people to ride around you every lap, not for chatting two abreast,not for reenacting Alec and the Black Stallion with ground poles while singing and piaffing yourself...

    I once pissed everyone off when I was riding in the arena and the barn help rolled in with a horse wearing several blankets and asked if she could turn it loose in there while I was riding.
    My response was a curt "NO."
    I question a person's competence to be barn help if this is the judgment displayed.

    I pissed off another barn owner when I came out of the short side turn on a horse with less than 10 rides under its belt and discovered that the teenager who had been riding 30 seconds ago had dismounted, untacked at X, and was walking out of the arena with her saddle and bridle slung over her arm and her horse loose elsewhere in the ring, "so that he could roll". I pulled up like a goddamn record scratch noise and snapped, "CAN WE PLEASE NOT LEAVE OUR HORSES LOOSE IN THE ARENA!" Mom complained that I was mean, and the barn owner complained to the horse's owner, to which the owner replied, "I pay board here like everyone else, and my horse and rider get to be safe too."
    Hear hear, I am too fkn old to get killed by some yahoo, please limit your stupidity to endangering your own life.

    Arenas are for RIDING.
    They're not a giant sandbox for everything else.
    Play Dances With Horses outside.

    Some of us actually like to RIDE and pay board so that we have ACCESS TO RIDE IN THE RING.

    Leave a comment:


  • Obsidian Fire
    replied
    Originally posted by endlessclimb View Post

    With 13 outdoor turnouts, I don't have much pity for the weekend warrior that can afford three horses they can't ride (and cant catch, and doesn't clean up arena manure afterwards)... yet can't afford to pay for turnout.

    Petty? Sure. Says a lot about me? Maybe. Do I care? Nope. The arena is shared duty, anyone can lunge or handwalk, even them being obnoxious they are free to ride. Come out and turnout, then claim you can't catch your animals? Nope, turn them out outside. Better yet, let them outside of that 10x10 box they live in more than once a week.
    FWIW, I'm with you on this.

    Arena's are NUMBER ONE for RIDING. Period.

    Leave a comment:


  • Obsidian Fire
    replied
    Originally posted by peedin View Post
    I board at a large barn. Think 100 horses. Think of the possible drama. I'm not saying the barn is drama free, but when the BO or BM catches wind of any nonsense, it is nipped in the bud and if bad enough, the boarder is asked to leave. A trainer of 13 years was kicked out for lying to the BM. Gossip is not allowed. Boarders are expected to act like adults. Rules are followed and enforced. People treat others politely and with respect. I am so lucky.
    I hope you realize just exactly how lucky you are. I wish all barns would run this way.

    Leave a comment:

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