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Struggling to sell horse

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  • Struggling to sell horse

    I’ve owned my gelding “Clark” for 6 years, he was bought for me when he was 7 and I was 16. I loved him from the moment I saw him even though he wasn’t as trained as I wanted. Our first few rides were “exciting” to say the least but I dealt with his young crazy outbursts and just kept riding him. He spooks a lot and is just a nervous, reactive horse in general but it never bothered me before. He is extremely herd bound and nothing I’ve done has helped (I’ve tried numerous methods over the years but I just can’t seem to ease his separation anxiety). I always had people around to ride with so I just kept trying to get him confident going alone but still got to ride him out on the trail with others!

    fast forward a few years.... I moved away from home with my boyfriend and moved my three horses with us (Clark included). I don’t have ANYONE to ride with now so I’m always riding alone. My other horse is a 5yr old performance stallion named Danny who I’ve raised from a foal and he is my go to for riding now because he is confident alone and is a lot less flighty even though he is young. I don’t ride Clark hardly ever because of his difficulties leaving home alone and there is only so much arena work you can do with a horse before they get cranky.

    Even the thought of selling him makes me burst into tears because I fear he’ll end up with someone who will just get frustrated and send him to auction. I could never forgive myself if that happened but I also feel selfish for keeping him even though we just don’t click most of the time anymore. I love him to death

    So I guess my question is, is it wrong to sell him after this long owning him? And how can I get past my emotions to make a decision either way?

  • #2
    I doubt you will be able to sell an anxious, unfit, teenaged horse. Why do you feel it is selfish to keep him? He would rather graze all day than work for a living.
    Last edited by Jump314; Jan. 7, 2019, 12:25 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      It isn't wrong to sell a horse if you can find a home that is a good match for his quirks.

      But be honest with yourself. Is this a horse anyone would want to ride? He is herd bound, reactive and I infer arena sour to some degree. There is no mention that he has any special performance skills or breeding to compensate for his quirks.

      If you put him up for sale, do you think anyone sensible will want to buy him? If he turns out to have no market value but has some breeding or ability, you might consider rehoming him to a young trainer who can sort out his problems.

      Or you can hire a trainer to try to fix him.

      Comment


      • #4
        13 is far from being considered a senior horse.

        You very well can find a good home for him, but it may take some time. My mare is similar in that she is really spooky/flighty and lacks confidence. She's improved with training from a professional.
        Originally posted by katarine
        I don't want your prayers, tiny cow.
        Originally posted by Pat9
        When it's time for a horse to go to a new person, that person will appear. It's pony magic.

        Comment


        • #5
          Make a friend who will ride with you!

          Comment


          • #6
            If you cannot keep a horse for any reason or no reason then that, by itself, is cause to sell them. Indeed it might be cruelty to keep them when you cannot provide the minimum they require, including regular work. It may be a hard thing to do but adults do hard things when hard things need to be done and then grieve about it afterwards. And then end the grieving and move on with life.

            Be an adult and do what you know is right.

            G.
            Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raça, Uma Paixão

            Comment


            • #7
              Most horses are perfectly happy to hang out without being ridden. If you can afford to keep all three of your horses then no need to feel guilty about not riding him. If you can’t afford to keep all three or are concerned that in the future you won’t be able to and don’t plan (or can’t afford) to pay for training, then it is better to try to sell him now. A 13 year old horse is more marketable than an 18 year old horse with the same problems.

              Comment


              • #8
                Would you keep a friend that is rough to you?
                Why would you keep a horse that can injure you with it's quirks?

                He may fit someone else, that can manage that he is not the kind of horse you want to have around.

                The horse world would be in trouble if no one ever sold a horse because someone, somewhere, may also eventually not need/want it.
                Which is why we previously had a chance to buy it, why we now are letting it go.

                Life is about change, all kinds of changes, for all kinds of reasons.
                The horses that come into our lives are no different than the rest of our lives.
                Those horses are part of our lives as they fit, some then we move on when things change.

                Sounds like you are about there, where a change may be prudent.

                Your question, how to get over the emotinal turmoil of letting go if that is what you decide?
                That will take time.
                We put so much into our horses while they are ours to care for.
                Once ready to move on, we have to live with the knowledge that we had all that time together, but the time now is to part ways.
                Not easy if we are feeling guilty about letting go, especially if it was not quite working out.
                We then second guess what did we do, what could, maybe can do different?

                Just do what is right for the horse if you sell it, by getting it where it will be cared for sensibly, for the horse it is.
                Then let go, take a deep breath and wish your horse and new owner best.

                You will find what works for you, one more life experience.

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Scribbler View Post
                  It isn't wrong to sell a horse if you can find a home that is a good match for his quirks.

                  But be honest with yourself. Is this a horse anyone would want to ride?
                  That’s why I’m feeling so lost in making a decision honestly, i truely feel he would do good with a more confident/cowboy type person who will work him past his issues, in consistent work he does improve but I don’t feel my knowledge is good enough to help him and I’m tired of the fighting. He is a great cowhorse and when ridden out with others he is super fun and will jump, cross logs, cross streams & try his heart out for you but by himself he is a pile of nerves and it takes at least 20mins to get him relaxed and easy going by himself. I wish I could just find a way to get him going out alone because then I could enjoy him again but I’m at my wits end with training methods that just don’t work

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Bluey View Post
                    Would you keep a friend that is rough to you?
                    Why would you keep a horse that can injure you with it's quirks?

                    He may fit someone else, that can manage that he is not the kind of horse you want to have around.

                    The horse world would be in trouble if no one ever sold a horse because someone, somewhere, may also eventually not need/want it.
                    Which is why we previously had a chance to buy it, why we now are letting it go.

                    Life is about change, all kinds of changes, for all kinds of reasons.
                    The horses that come into our lives are no different than the rest of our lives.
                    Those horses are part of our lives as they fit, some then we move on when things change.

                    Sounds like you are about there, where a change may be prudent.

                    Your question, how to get over the emotinal turmoil of letting go if that is what you decide?
                    That will take time.
                    We put so much into our horses while they are ours to care for.
                    Once ready to move on, we have to live with the knowledge that we had all that time together, but the time now is to part ways.
                    Not easy if we are feeling guilty about letting go, especially if it was not quite working out.
                    We then second guess what did we do, what could, maybe can do different?

                    Just do what is right for the horse if you sell it, by getting it where it will be cared for sensibly, for the horse it is.
                    Then let go, take a deep breath and wish your horse and new owner best.

                    You will find what works for you, one more life experience.
                    thank you so much for your reply. A lot of what you said is exactly how I was feeling but I am more confident in my decision now! I know either way it’s a decision I shouldn’t make lightly which is why I wanted outside opinion and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me yours!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You don't mention money as a problem. I'd keep him if that isn't a consideration. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't share your love for horses. That's ok. Maybe he'll become infected and learn to love riding too.

                      I also don't consider 13 to be a senior horse. A 13-year-old horse with 'issues' is a problem. It kind of sounds to me like you are not confident to ride alone with him on the trail. Has he blown up on you or is he not responsive to commands?

                      Are you considering selling him because you think he deserves to be ridden? It does sound like he doesn't like riding all that much. Tho, you might try a trainer to sort that out. He needs exercise and turnout - he doesn't necessarily need to be ridden. You can offer to buy him back from a buyer if he doesn't work out for them. You can look around for a retirement facility if you can afford it. I'm offering these suggestions and questions to help you sort out what you want to do.
                      Good luck with your decision.

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        If I do decide to sell him (I haven’t decided yet) definitely won’t sell him to just anyone and I will be very very thorough about his new owner/home he’ll only go to someone who is experienced and doesn’t mind working with him on his confidence. I’m in no rush to sell him at all but it’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a few months so that’s why I decided to seek some outside opinion (family members don’t always give the best opinions cause they want you to be happy and my family aren’t really horse people)

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #13
                          Originally posted by TCA Arabians View Post
                          You don't mention money as a problem. I'd keep him if that isn't a consideration. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't share your love for horses. That's ok. Maybe he'll become infected and learn to love riding too.

                          I also don't consider 13 to be a senior horse. A 13-year-old horse with 'issues' is a problem. It kind of sounds to me like you are not confident to ride alone with him on the trail. Has he blown up on you or is he not responsive to commands?

                          Are you considering selling him because you think he deserves to be ridden? It does sound like he doesn't like riding all that much. Tho, you might try a trainer to sort that out. He needs exercise and turnout - he doesn't necessarily need to be ridden. You can offer to buy him back from a buyer if he doesn't work out for them. You can look around for a retirement facility if you can afford it. I'm offering these suggestions and questions to help you sort out what you want to do.
                          Good luck with your decision.
                          My boyfriend loves horses and will ride but since we moved he can’t ride as much due to his work and he’s always too tired to ride.

                          I am not very confident alone on him just because he will spin circles and do bunny hops but I’m not scared of him just frustrated of always having to have a 15-20min battle before he will settle down enough to ride confidently. That’s why I tend to pick my stallion over him when it comes time to ride. I feel like I don’t use him enough and I always find excuses not to ride him which makes me sad cause he is very fun to ride when he’s being good!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Wildandfree View Post

                            That’s why I’m feeling so lost in making a decision honestly, i truely feel he would do good with a more confident/cowboy type person who will work him past his issues, in consistent work he does improve but I don’t feel my knowledge is good enough to help him and I’m tired of the fighting. He is a great cowhorse and when ridden out with others he is super fun and will jump, cross logs, cross streams & try his heart out for you but by himself he is a pile of nerves and it takes at least 20mins to get him relaxed and easy going by himself. I wish I could just find a way to get him going out alone because then I could enjoy him again but I’m at my wits end with training methods that just don’t work
                            If he is a good cowhorse sell him to a decent cowboy. Sometimes horses behave better for heavy men than they do for young women. Figure out where ranch horses are marketed in your area and advertise him as a good surefooted trail horse in company, good cowhorse, but herd bound and currently difficult to ride out alone and want to sell to rider who is confidential in working through this.

                            Herd bound is very common. Usually the way to fix it is to ride out in company every day until the horse gets used to the area and then start riding out alone. My guess is there are working ranches where people are ace at fixing this. Or horse may not ever need to go out alone.

                            Fighting a herbound horse is pointless as then you add the fear of the fight to his basic fear of leaving his buddies, and you compound the problem.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm not understanding the "selfish" piece here. You have a horse that even you don't like to ride. Most likely would be a difficult horse to sell, and yes, you never know where a horse will end up once it's left your property.

                              Why is it selfish to keep him, not ride him, and let him hang out?

                              Now, if you have another reason for wanting him elsewhere, that's another story. But that's not what you're saying.

                              I have a great mare that I hardly ride. I occasionally feel that she deserves to be ridden more because she's a great horse, but I balk at selling because a) maybe I will want to ride more and b) I worry that she'll end up somewhere bad. So I keep her. And I don't feel selfish, at all. She's mine to do whatever I want with her, even if it's just let her be a pasture puff.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                You may want to consider putting him in training with a good trainer to fix his issues. Then you go ride him once the trainer has him going well on trail. If he is good for the trainer on trail by himself but not good for you when you take him out by yourself at the trainers, then you may find that you are contributing to his lack of confidence. In which case you can take lessons on him while he's in training. This could take a bit of time and money.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Wildandfree View Post
                                  I’ve owned my gelding “Clark” for 6 years, he was bought for me when he was 7 and I was 16. I loved him from the moment I saw him even though he wasn’t as trained as I wanted. Our first few rides were “exciting” to say the least but I dealt with his young crazy outbursts and just kept riding him. He spooks a lot and is just a nervous, reactive horse in general but it never bothered me before. He is extremely herd bound and nothing I’ve done has helped (I’ve tried numerous methods over the years but I just can’t seem to ease his separation anxiety). I always had people around to ride with so I just kept trying to get him confident going alone but still got to ride him out on the trail with others!

                                  fast forward a few years.... I moved away from home with my boyfriend and moved my three horses with us (Clark included). I don’t have ANYONE to ride with now so I’m always riding alone. My other horse is a 5yr old performance stallion named Danny who I’ve raised from a foal and he is my go to for riding now because he is confident alone and is a lot less flighty even though he is young. I don’t ride Clark hardly ever because of his difficulties leaving home alone and there is only so much arena work you can do with a horse before they get cranky.
                                  I'm intrigued what you mean by that last comment 're arena work making horses cranky.
                                  Describe what you mean by "cranky", and what arena work makes this horse "cranky".
                                  Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

                                  http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    When a horse is not fitting a rider, sure, the rider can spend some years riding many other horses to learn the skills to then get along with that horse.

                                    Or it can move on and get suitable horses for that rider, let the unsuitable horse, as is, go to a more suitable home.
                                    A bit easier on the horse and rider, especially when they both have to be stressed and maybe even get in unsafe situations while trying to make this work.

                                    We had such horses brought to us for re-training.
                                    It is a very common problem for riders to be overhorsed.
                                    Those horses didn't have problems for us.
                                    We had them going as safe and consistent as we could, for the given horse.
                                    Most of them.
                                    A few just were nervous nellies that just had a hard time adjusting to their insecurities.
                                    You can only install better training to overcome that best you can in those kinds of horses.

                                    The real problem was, when the horses went back to the same situation, same owner, lacking the advanced skills/time/riding to keep those horses trained and improving more, when the owner, still insecure, would not follow thru with the training and more help for longer, the situation tended to end up again with an impasse, back to where they were before.

                                    Is the OP where it can spend time and money on a trainer and on herself to eventually ride up to handle and enjoy these kinds of horses as this one is?
                                    Is it worth it, or move on and ride more suitable horses for that situation?

                                    That answer I think may weight here also.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      He won’t get easier to sell...send him to a trainer for 40 days then start advertising

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Bluey View Post
                                        When a horse is not fitting a rider, sure, the rider can spend some years riding many other horses to learn the skills to then get along with that horse.

                                        Or it can move on and get suitable horses for that rider, let the unsuitable horse, as is, go to a more suitable home.
                                        A bit easier on the horse and rider, especially when they both have to be stressed and maybe even get in unsafe situations while trying to make this work.

                                        We had such horses brought to us for re-training.
                                        It is a very common problem for riders to be overhorsed.
                                        Those horses didn't have problems for us.
                                        We had them going as safe and consistent as we could, for the given horse.
                                        Most of them.
                                        A few just were nervous nellies that just had a hard time adjusting to their insecurities.
                                        You can only install better training to overcome that best you can in those kinds of horses.

                                        The real problem was, when the horses went back to the same situation, same owner, lacking the advanced skills/time/riding to keep those horses trained and improving more, when the owner, still insecure, would not follow thru with the training and more help for longer, the situation tended to end up again with an impasse, back to where they were before.

                                        Is the OP where it can spend time and money on a trainer and on herself to eventually ride up to handle and enjoy these kinds of horses as this one is?
                                        Is it worth it, or move on and ride more suitable horses for that situation?

                                        That answer I think may weight here also.

                                        im not in a position to send him for 30+ days of training as the few trainers worth their salt around here with good reputations charge way more than I could afford. I could try to save up for some training but I don’t want to waste any more of Clark’s time or mine if I spent $1200 on a trainer and we are at the same problem again. I’ve tried building his confidence with others and then slowly adding more alone time but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried moving his feet at home and letting him relax out on the trail but that didn’t work. I’ve tried having multiple friends with more experience ride him out alone but he chose to full out bronc buck them off (which he has never done to me, he just prances/bunny hops/spins). I’ve tried what one trainer suggested that we bond on the ground more before venturing out again but that hasn’t worked. Im not scared of him in ANY way and I am confident going alone but it’s frustrating when he pitches a fit until he’s miles from home (and slightly embarrassing).

                                        I have sold a horse before because they were too much for me and scared me but with Clark it’s just like he doesn’t trust me or himself enough and after everything I’ve tried I just don’t know what else to do!




                                        and In reply to someone else’s comment above: by arena sour I just mean he looks depressed and isn’t happy doing strickly arena work. He will do it and he is great for any level rider in the arena (even kids have rode him working cows) but you can tell he’s not enjoying himself after too many rides in the confines of a pen. He is the happiest horse alive when he’s out on the trail with buddies or when you take him out alone and he is far enough away from home. He’ll work his heart out for you once he calms down but it’s just hard getting him to that point

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