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My Rant Regarding Family, Work and Horses-UPDATE

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  • Originally posted by Sansena View Post
    I said "Dude.. you were the director of project management for a major power gen company for decades and built stacks on 3 continents. I'm sorry you can't figure out the washer and dryer! You're on your own."
    appears he did, as project manager he was telling you to do the task
    Not responsible for typographical errors.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      Originally posted by Angela Freda View Post

      ... while enabling the older son wrt the dog.
      I'm wondering if the older son is our [the COTH posters] favorite?
      Maybe it is the same conundrum I find myself in with the dog? I didn't pick him, or want him. But he is here through no fault of his own. Rescues are full, the shelter option kind of stinks because it is full of Pitties like him and I don't feel comfortable rehoming him when they say they want him and live him and will take him back as soon as they find a place that will accept him.

      I like the dog. Despite the mountains of shit he drops, he does try to hit the potty pads. He means well. This isn't his fault.
      Sheilah

      Comment


      • You have the same story so many working women have, horses or not.

        My ex husband did the same thing some of you describe. I'd be at work, he'd have the day off, and I'd come home and he'd ask what was for dinner. Or he'd take some meat out if the freezer so I could make... whatever. That was extremely frustrating. It got much better when we divorced.

        My husband now is much better about such things but I would also say that I put those expectations in place early on. He is fairly well trained. And I refuse to do housecleaning unless we do it TOGETHER.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by IdahoRider View Post
          Maybe it is the same conundrum I find myself in with the dog? I didn't pick him, or want him. But he is here through no fault of his own. Rescues are full, the shelter option kind of stinks because it is full of Pitties like him and I don't feel comfortable rehoming him when they say they want him and live him and will take him back as soon as they find a place that will accept him.

          I like the dog. Despite the mountains of shit he drops, he does try to hit the potty pads. He means well. This isn't his fault.
          Sheilah
          Dog is not at your house through any fault of his own. He is there due to your son dumping him on you and you allowing it. If you are intent on keeping him and obviously not requiring your son to step up, I would hire a professional dog trainer to work with the dog daily. It will be pricey, but well worth the cost.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            It has been a difficult last few weeks. I have had a couple of rough spots at school and my elderly uncle will be coming to stay with us for a week or two while his furniture is moved up from California. This is a huge deal and has caused us all a great deal of stress. He is 85 and has lived alone for the past 60 years. This move is going to be fabulous once it is all over and done. He has bought in to a retirement community about 30 minutes from my home, so we'll be able to visit and keep an eye on him much easier. But he is stressed and I am stressed. He has lived in his current home for over 40 years and he is a bit of a hoarder.

            But the plane reservations have been made. My husband and brother will fly down to L.A. next Friday. My brother will drive uncle's car up to Idaho and my husband will fly back with uncle. They will be here a week from today. I am very anxious about having him stay with us, because our home is very different from what he is used to. But I adore this guy and can't wait to see him again and have him close by. So I am trying to concentrate on the good and just do my best to make him comfortable while he is here.

            We did rehome the Pit Bull. We gave our son an ultimatum, pick him up by this date or we will work our resources to find him a home. They finally admitted that they just couldn't take him. They both work full time and and on top of that, they can't find a rental that will take a Pit Bull. We reached out and found a family that wanted an older puppy, which fit him because he is only 18 months old. We checked references and their story of their 9 year old Pit being put to sleep a couple of months ago checked out with their vet reference. This man is a tattoo artist that wanted a friendly dog to go to the tattoo studio he owns. Sounds too good to be true, so we'll have to follow up carefully.

            I am trying so hard to ride three or four times a week. I had moved my warmblood mare to the same facility that I have boarded my 23 year old Arab at and she has settled in nicely. Lessons are going well and I feel like I am progressing finally. Work is a drag right now. I love my job so much, but the insecurity from year to year is horrible. And I have started to look at work outside of education. I love teaching, but I have hit that "five year wall" that you hear so much about. No matter how hard you work, there is always that special needs kiddo that you can't get services for and there will always be state test scores that could be higher. And your administrator will have hard days were they snap and are demeaning. Whatever it is you are doing in the classroom, you need to do more of it. Or less of it. I was blindsided with the news that my classes have had the lowest test scores for the grade level two years in a row. My administrator just causally dropped that bit of information into a discussion where he was officially admonishing me for posting a picture of student work on Facebook. It was a picture of student work, not a picture of the student. But one of my co-workers saw it and went to him to say that it was unprofessional and a person who knew the student would know that her name was part of a weird crossword puzzle that I hadn't even noticed. So I am sitting there, feeling stupid anyway and he takes that moment to drop the bombshell about my test scores. Why he decided to share the information after two years is anyone's guess.

            But I keep riding. I still can't mount on my own. But I want to ride so badly that I no longer have any shame in hunting down anyone on the property to hold the mare while I mount. I just want to ride. And on the days that I just can't bring myself to make that much of an effort, I bring a book to the barn and read for a while.
            Sheilah

            Comment


            • Yay yay yay, boo and boo.

              Good luck with finding something for work.

              Why can't you mount? Practice teaching to stand still and put a mounting block in a corner so the horse can't walk forward or step away sideways.
              It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.

              Comment


              • Good update for the dog, and other things. You'll work out the mounting issue, and maybe see if anyone can help you train your horse to stand still for you?

                However, I would accelerate the job hunt, because as you've probably guessed, your contract is toast. He shared the test score information, because he's going to add that and everything else, and you'll be jobless after the school year ends. Many are gutless, and refuse to lay out unpleasant news, so that was his way of hinting what's going to happen.

                Don't be surprised to see how much stuff the elderly uncle packed on the moving van. I'm sure a lot will have to go.
                You can't fix stupid-Ron White

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  Originally posted by SuzieQNutter View Post

                  Why can't you mount? Practice teaching to stand still and put a mounting block in a corner so the horse can't walk forward or step away sideways.
                  I had a spinal cord injury and can't feel my legs, bum or feet. Mare is very quiet, but she has been taught that walking off as the rider puts a foot in the stirrup is okay. I don't have the strength in my legs to mount as she is stepping away. So I need someone to hold her still until I mount and situate myself.

                  I am a para rider, unclassified, and as I have aged with this disability I have just decided to do what I have to do in order to continue to enjoy the things I want to enjoy. We are working with her, but even a shift in her weight can cause me to tumble off the mounting block.
                  Sheilah

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    Originally posted by JanM View Post

                    However, I would accelerate the job hunt, because as you've probably guessed, your contract is toast. He shared the test score information, because he's going to add that and everything else, and you'll be jobless after the school year ends.
                    Yeah, despite the fantastic evaluations I have had every year, I know that crap runs downhill. I knew better than to say anything, but I did want to ask if I was such a horrible teacher why did he keep giving me such great evaluations and why did he keep giving me a job every year.
                    Sheilah

                    Comment


                    • As a teacher I am very sympathetic with you. It is not easy to work so hard and then have someone tell you that you suck. There are so many other factors that affect how a student performs on a test. I know Idaho doesn't have unions (right?) but is there no tenure as well?

                      Its a lot easier to keep someone around than to hire an unknown...

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        Originally posted by Ruth0552 View Post
                        As a teacher I am very sympathetic with you. It is not easy to work so hard and then have someone tell you that you suck. There are so many other factors that affect how a student performs on a test. I know Idaho doesn't have unions (right?) but is there no tenure as well?

                        Its a lot easier to keep someone around than to hire an unknown...
                        It stinks to be told how great you're doing for two years and then to be told that your test scores stink. I have moved grades every year. I started at kindergarten, there weren't enough kindergartners to run three classrooms, so he moved me to first grade last year to keep me in the building. And then I moved up to second this year. Three grades in three years.

                        I do know that this is the first time that I have started the year out with the majority of my students already proficient at grade level benchmark. So maybe I can pull a good year out of it and have decent test scores. I hope so. It breaks my heart to think that I am not any good at something that I love so much.

                        We don't have unions here. We have "associations" by district. We don't have tenure, but after three years in the district you have some job security in that you are almost guaranteed to have a position somewhere in the district, at some grade level, in some school. This is my third year. And poor test scores are something he has never mentioned. At all.
                        Sheilah

                        Comment


                        • Did your kindergarteners really have test scores? I understand the need for some information, but IMO test scores are both overrated and badly used.
                          You haven't exactly been set up for success with three grade levels in three years! Of course, much of that depends upon the group of kids and where they were academically when they started that school year (as well as all the issues that can occur during the year to disrupt a kid's learning) If you have access to the info (and you should) I would look up last years group and compare their scores at the beginning and end of the year. You really need to be evaluated on the group's academic progress, not one set of scores in isolation.
                          Signed, A Retired Teacher (whose mind is boggled at testing these babies! I think my state starts testing in third grade and that is controversial!)

                          Comment


                          • Nothing to add to all of the supportive posts, but {{hugs}} (Gentle ones...)

                            You are certainly going through it! It seems as we age, life often becomes more complicated, not less - always exacerbated if there are health or physical issues.

                            Hang in there, and keep finding time to ride, it's therapeutic on SO many levels.
                            "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

                            "It's supposed to be hard...the hard is what makes it great!" (Jimmy Dugan, "A League of Their Own")

                            Comment


                            • Man...6 pages I'm not going to read...it's so simple it hurts. The OP is a volunteer, not a victim.

                              Pit to the pound, now. Let useless son know to get his dog now.

                              19 year old son, out of the house now...permanently.

                              Husband, any clothing left other than in a hamper, in the trash, now.

                              No excuses, no whining.

                              if she won't stop being a volunteer, she's made her choice what to accept in her life.
                              "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

                              Comment


                              • I read all the posts, because I also have similar struggles! Hugs to you Sheilah! Glad you were able to rehome the dog, hopefully it is a great home and you can find some more peace in your home without the worry the pit brought.

                                Your administrator sounds like a peach... no advice there, but teachers are so underpaid for what you do. From a mom who appreciates everyone who takes the time to educate and look out for our children - Thank you!

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
                                  Man...6 pages I'm not going to read...it's so simple it hurts. The OP is a volunteer, not a victim.

                                  Pit to the pound, now. Let useless son know to get his dog now.

                                  19 year old son, out of the house now...permanently.

                                  Husband, any clothing left other than in a hamper, in the trash, now.

                                  No excuses, no whining.

                                  if she won't stop being a volunteer, she's made her choice what to accept in her life.
                                  It might be helpful to read the update before going on a rant.

                                  "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

                                  "It's supposed to be hard...the hard is what makes it great!" (Jimmy Dugan, "A League of Their Own")

                                  Comment


                                  • As a school administrator, I can say it was neither helpful or kind of your principal to randomly mention you had lower scores. Typically, states do not test K and 1 students on standardized tests as it is not age appropriate so I would be asking to sit with him to analyze your data and know what scores he is referring. Do not be afraid of the data. Use it to inform your instruction and hone your practice as an educator. If your district has instructional coaches available, ask to work with one of them as it will support you in your grade level changes--- so many different standards to know and a K kiddo is a different beast than a 2nd grader. I am a former coach as well so I feel strongly about using them to help improve our practice just like we do a trainer with our riding. As a beginning teacher, you need a few years at the same grade level to help develop your teaching repertoire and hopefully your principal can make that happen. If there were real issues in your classroom, your evaluations should have reflected it. Please know sometimes there can be district or state pressures put on school administrators and that stress can trickle down to the teachers even with the best school leaders.

                                    Hope you continue to find a better work life balance with ample time to ride and your hubbie picks up his socks. Glad to hear you found an ideal home for your son's dog.

                                    Take care and happy riding,
                                    Jessie

                                    Comment


                                    • Wishing you well...

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        Originally posted by chebeau View Post
                                        As a school administrator, I can say it was neither helpful or kind of your principal to randomly mention you had lower scores. Typically, states do not test K and 1 students on standardized tests as it is not age appropriate so I would be asking to sit with him to analyze your data and know what scores he is referring. Do not be afraid of the data. Use it to inform your instruction and hone your practice as an educator. If your district has instructional coaches available, ask to work with one of them as it will support you in your grade level changes--- so many different standards to know and a K kiddo is a different beast than a 2nd grader. I am a former coach as well so I feel strongly about using them to help improve our practice just like we do a trainer with our riding. As a beginning teacher, you need a few years at the same grade level to help develop your teaching repertoire and hopefully your principal can make that happen. If there were real issues in your classroom, your evaluations should have reflected it. Please know sometimes there can be district or state pressures put on school administrators and that stress can trickle down to the teachers even with the best school leaders.

                                        Hope you continue to find a better work life balance with ample time to ride and your hubbie picks up his socks. Glad to hear you found an ideal home for your son's dog.

                                        Take care and happy riding,
                                        Jessie
                                        Jessie,
                                        Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I can't tell you how much your words have helped! I do have access to an instructional coach and I have already reached out to her, specifically mentioning I need to identify where the disconnect is happening between my classroom and test scores.

                                        I need to frame this as an effort to inform my practice as a teacher. Just as you said, no different from my riding instructor improving my riding. See? Another instance where life is improved by our riding lives.
                                        Sheilah

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by Dr. Doolittle View Post

                                          It might be helpful to read the update before going on a rant.

                                          Rant? No, no rant....just a very common coth complaint/situation with typical/common responses.

                                          "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

                                          Comment

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