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Mare Owners- please comment

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  • #21
    Originally posted by atlatl View Post
    I think they are all individuals. My mare is an angel and extremely cooperative.
    agree but all genders have their ways.

    OP's horse just has not transferred its letter of trust from old owner to her.

    My daughter has a buckskin gelding who had gone through several people's hands in a short time as they were reselling him for money... he is/was quite flashy. But he was like OP's mare, just had a defensive posture as he really was expecting to sold again.

    I gained his trust after about two weeks of loading him in the trailer and drive around some only to return to put him back in the same paddock he came from. Soon he just let down and knew if he got on the trailer he was coming home (however he did miss the trips to the doughnut shop)

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    • #22
      "Tell a gelding, ask a stallion, and discuss it with a mare." - unknown

      But yes, as others said, they're all different.
      My mare is pushy and tests. Most behaviors I make sure to correct, but sometimes the fight that would ensue just isn't worth it. She doesn't typically escalate her undesired behavior unless you pick a fight over it on the wrong day. Example, some days she'll be a bit jiggy walking out to the field if she was unfortunate enough to have been stuck in a stall for any length of time (she's mostly a 24/7 out girl). Try to make her walk politely, you'll just make her go in circles around you the whole way out. Let her jig her way out about 20 feet or so, she'll stop on her own and come to a real walk.
      But occasionally she does bomb-rush into the stall; I never figured out why, it's kind of just always been this thing that will randomly pop up after months of walking into a stall normally. That fight I do pick, because that's dangerous. It's a discussion, though, that's for sure. The wrong answer must be the harder one, they'll eventually decide to go with the easier answer.
      Last edited by mmeqcenter; Jun. 13, 2018, 03:52 PM.
      "The best of any breed is the thoroughbred horse..." - GHM

      http://www.mmeqcenter.com/sale.html

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      • #23


        Originally posted by clanter View Post

        agree but all genders have their ways.
        Surely, you realize this is not agreement with my comment that they are all individuals.

        This is not to say there aren't inherent physical differences between mares, geldings and stallions. Some of those physical differences, say hormones in stallions, can manifest in behavioral differences, but not all stallions are "studdy."

        Comment


        • #24
          I agree with atlatl that the individual variation within the mare population is greater than the difference between mares and the male sexes.

          My current mare lives to please more than any other horse (geldings included) I've ever met. She would go to the ends of the earth just to earn a little scratch on her withers and a "good girl". She gets even more patient and compliant when she senses inexperience/caution in a new human who's handling her (much to the relief of the vet students at the local teaching hospital).

          My former mare, well it was her world and the rest of us just happened to be in it. Once she trusted you it was fairly easy to get her on the same page and convince her of your ideas. But her default position with new people was to assume that she was in charge unless they demonstrated that they could lead. She was always monitoring the situation in case she needed to make an executive decision about something (e.g. if you fail to latch her stall door, she will notice and exploit the error). I've seen other horses since (mostly mares, at least one gelding) with the same approach to the world. Not a training issue or a mare issue, just a personality thing.

          With both mares I got farther with positive reinforcement than any other tactic, but I think that reflects my approach to horses/animals in general more than anything specific to mares.

          OP, I bet your mare will be easier to work with once she realizes that you can offer consistency in handling/training that perhaps the 12 year old prior owner couldn't. Trust seems to go a long way with them.
          Evolutionary science by day; keeping a certain red mare from winning a Darwin award the rest of the time!

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          • #25
            The quote saying you discuss with a mare... is true.

            But since I’m more stubborn than any mare, when I decide something, I wait it out. So the discussion ends with me winning the argument.

            The more I train horses, the less I « punish » , « reprimand » or « correct ». I don’t like when it escalate and everyone is upset, including the horse.

            I try to let them figure the right way and always put them in situations where they will find the answer I’m looking for. I take the time it takes. I’m stubborn like that.


            ~ Enjoying some guac and boxed wine at the Blue Saddle inn. ~

            Originally posted by LauraKY
            I'm sorry, but this has "eau de hoarder" smell all over it.
            HORSING mobile training app

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            • #26
              Originally posted by atlatl View Post
              Surely, you realize this is not agreement with my comment that they are all individuals.
              unroll the eyes, what I am saying is if you expect them be different then they will. We treat all of the horses the same no matter gender

              Those who think their mares are opinionated surely will find that yes their mares are opinioned

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              • #27
                Perhaps I misinterpreted this as saying there are gender-specific behaviors because there's nothing in there about handler expectations.

                Originally posted by clanter View Post

                agree but all genders have their ways.
                I have a friend who thinks her gelding is the sweetest thing alive; I think he's quite rude and has her number.

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by Obsidian Fire View Post
                  Mares are so much more in tune with body language than geldings. Observe single-sex herds and the dynamics. You never see mares playing like the boys do.

                  Mares demand leadership (boys do too, but that's not the topic). Not in a forceful way, just thoughtful and consistent. All the mares I've ever had, have only wanted to be told "good girl." That's how they are. Once you get their respect, they'll lay down their life for you.

                  There's a reason the Bedouins rode mares into battle.
                  Could not have said it better!!

                  I have three mares (mother and daughter and one not related). In my "herd" I am the boss, head chief in charge, lead mare, and God almighty. No questions.

                  But not by force, but from respect. I'm never wishy-washy. Extremely consistent and always fair. All three of my mares have different personalities, so what works with one might not work for another. But the end goal is always the same.

                  I have learned so much by observing the three mares when they are in their pasture together. The lead mare is my retired event horse (the mother). She is the one who is looking out for danger, she's the protector. With only a "look" she can get her message across to the others. She doesn't and has never had to bite, kick or chase. This has greatly changed my views on how horses, especially mares, respond to us.

                  Body language is so much more important than physical
                  f​​​​​orce. If any of my mares get a little too big for their britches, I usually only need to stand there and verbally say "really, you want to go there?" And that's it, discussion over, they don't want to go there.

                  I would have never thought in a million years I would love and want mares, but I do.

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                  • #29
                    When I got my mare, very early on, we sort of "had it out". At first she was fine, and then about when she was starting to settle in - like "this is where I live now" time, one evening while on a small lunge, she stopped, put her head way up in the air, the way only Saddlebreds can, and looked down upon me, the pushy serf.

                    I took the lunge and lightly tapped her to move. NO.

                    Then again, just a bit harder. NO!

                    Third time, I whacked her butt just once, as hard as I could, and startled, she moved out just fine.

                    Ever since that evening, we have been, for the most part, just fine. The only other time she gave me grief was once when I felt compelled to pet her while she was eating. Mistake. She put her "angry mare face" on, and I replied with the mean bear stance, a la Monty Roberts, and she backed off and we were fine again. But now I refrain from petting her while she's eating.

                    I won't say this is for all mares, but it's what happened with me and mine. YMMV.
                    Founding Member: Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique

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                    • Original Poster

                      #30
                      Thanks everyone. i do see how fighting with her would not get us anywhere, but since i have had geldings for so long, i want to just tell her to do what i ask and that be the end of it. I am not sure what you mean by saying 'Discuss it" with her. Does that mean, let her have it her way? Bc i am not that person. My horses need to listen to me.

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                      • #31
                        I had a Paint mare who thought at first that the hierarchy was her, then my husband, then me, then my daughter. Nope, that doesn't fly. The mare and I did a lot of leading and round pen work, and I moved up in the hierarchy. I had my daughter do the same. That was fine for a while, but occasionally she would test the boundaries, and we'd do it all over again.

                        My geldings always had the attitude of "what can I do for you?" I swear, if they could have fetched coffee for me, they would have. It's a much easier relationship, but the mare was interesting and very smart.

                        Rebecca

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                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Nezzy View Post
                          Thanks everyone. i do see how fighting with her would not get us anywhere, but since i have had geldings for so long, i want to just tell her to do what i ask and that be the end of it. I am not sure what you mean by saying 'Discuss it" with her. Does that mean, let her have it her way? Bc i am not that person. My horses need to listen to me.
                          “Discuss it” means pose a question and let her find the right answer.

                          Me: Stop swinging your haunches to the inside. Points lunge whip at maresy’s butt.

                          Marsey: It’s a whip! I go faster.

                          Me: No, come back down to a walk. Good girl. Trot. Stop swinging your haunches to the inside. Points lunge whip at marsey’s butt.

                          Marsey: Swings haunches away, I don’t want that thing touching me.

                          Me: Removes pressure of whip all while praising the crap out of her. After two complete straight circles we walk and she get pats.

                          Wash rinse and repeat with every task.
                          http://theotherboard.boards.net/ An OT forum for CoTHers to give our dear Mods a break

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by Nezzy View Post
                            Thanks everyone. i do see how fighting with her would not get us anywhere, but since i have had geldings for so long, i want to just tell her to do what i ask and that be the end of it. I am not sure what you mean by saying 'Discuss it" with her. Does that mean, let her have it her way? Bc i am not that person. My horses need to listen to me.
                            Nobody would tell you to let her have her way. Give it some time, too. Mares are big on bonding, in a way that geldings don't seem to be. (There are always exceptions). I don't see that training a mare is any different than training a gelding except that I've found when I have to get 'rude' with a gelding they just want to come back for more (boy play!) in a way that mares won't.
                            Show her what you want, how you want it. Give her the easiest option for figuring it out. Set her up for success, just as you would any other horse. Be quick with the praise and be stingy on anything negative unless it's a behavior that must be stopped.
                            Horse training 101, which you already know. Once she accepts your leadership, doing what you ask when you ask will happen naturally.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Geldings seem to have a goofy sense of humor that I have not seen in mares. Geldings I have had were big jokers, loved a horse laugh, and steady and wonderful. Mares have been wonderful in their own right, but they have not been as overtly demonstrative and jokey as geldings. Mares seem to have a more subtle and sweet interaction-- and yes, I agree, thrive on being told they are "good girls"
                              A canter is a cure for every evil. ~Benjamin Disraeli

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                              • #35
                                My mare would walk through fire for me. She didn't get that way overnight. She has a keen sense of justice. She'll take a correction, but it better be because I'm showing her what I want. I'm not big on the punishment, and it wouldn't surprise me if I put a "my way o or the highway" rider on her she could get dangerous.
                                She's got my back, and she looks out for me on the trails. In the arena, she's all business. I ask for more, and I get everything she's got.
                                I can trust her with my kids, although with hubby she can be a bit of a pig headed mule. With my girlfriend she's the same as she is with me: special.
                                I don't know that I'll ever find another like her. But if I did, I'd moved heaven and earth to put her in my barn.

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                                • Original Poster

                                  #36
                                  Originally posted by Denali6298 View Post

                                  “Discuss it” means pose a question and let her find the right answer.

                                  Me: Stop swinging your haunches to the inside. Points lunge whip at maresy’s butt.

                                  Marsey: It’s a whip! I go faster.

                                  Me: No, come back down to a walk. Good girl. Trot. Stop swinging your haunches to the inside. Points lunge whip at marsey’s butt.

                                  Marsey: Swings haunches away, I don’t want that thing touching me.

                                  Me: Removes pressure of whip all while praising the crap out of her. After two complete straight circles we walk and she get pats.

                                  Wash rinse and repeat with every task.
                                  so this is something that is time consuming..

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by clanter View Post

                                    unroll the eyes, what I am saying is if you expect them be different then they will. We treat all of the horses the same no matter gender

                                    Those who think their mares are opinionated surely will find that yes their mares are opinioned
                                    You said it much more succinctly than I did lol
                                    "You'll never see yourself in the mirror with your eyes closed"

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #38
                                      Just an Add- my geldings have always had great personalities, and a sense of humor. Appaloosa, mostly, which are known for testing you but once they trust you, they'll do whatever you like. But i can already see that the mare does not like to be pushed to far. It seems to have to be her decision. I sure hope she learns to trust me and listen to me.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by Nezzy View Post

                                        so this is something that is time consuming..
                                        For my mare yes. Lol. It’s more body language than anything. She gets really upset if you are too aggressive. Everything with her has to be unemotional, quiet, but firm. It took about a year for her to fully trust me. That was partly me as well. Now she is definitely MY horse if you will.
                                        http://theotherboard.boards.net/ An OT forum for CoTHers to give our dear Mods a break

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                                        • Original Poster

                                          #40
                                          Originally posted by Denali6298 View Post

                                          For my mare yes. Lol. It’s more body language than anything. She gets really upset if you are too aggressive. Everything with her has to be unemotional, quiet, but firm. It took about a year for her to fully trust me. That was partly me as well. Now she is definitely MY horse if you will.
                                          ok, so i just have to prove myself to her and hopefully she will then give her decisions to me..

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