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should i help? and how?

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  • #21
    Originally posted by Rubyfree View Post
    I would stay away from letting her ride, at least for a good long while. Is there a therapeutic riding program or an equine humane society around that she could do some simple volunteer work at? You could go with her and use it as an opportunity to further her education.
    Most TR centers and HS have a minimum volunteer age of 13 with parental/legal guardian supervision, 16 - 18 without.

    And yes, it is because of liability, but it is also because a child of 10 is going to need constant supervision in a place where dangerous situations can creep up out of nowhere.
    I Loff My Quarter Horse & I love Fenway Bartholomule cliques

    Just somebody with a positive outlook on life...go ahead...hate me for that.

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    • #22
      Originally posted by IMAX View Post
      There are two kinds of people in the world. The kind that divide people into two categories, and those who don't.

      Kidding aside, are you a person who operates out of fear, or out of love? If the former, do nothing and rail against "them" and lament about how back in the day people cared.

      Or if the latter, reach out to this mother who loves her daughter enough to help her find her passion. Start with a contract, explain to the mother that horses can be dangerous, and take the kid to the barn once a week. Have a time limit on it. Say you can do once a week for two months. Then at the end of two months, you have a natural and easy out if you want or need it. If you like the kid and she is working hard, you can extend your offer.
      This. It's a limited commitment, for a limited period of time. I'd see how hard the kid is willing to work, THEN decide if you'll let the daughter ride. It can't be just a pony-ride thing, or a babysitting thing to get kid out of mom's hair for the afternoon.

      But it can be a very good thing for everyone. Including you.

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      • #23
        I was that horse crazy kid with no money and parents who were very anti-horse. Neighbor brought a horse home one day to put in his backyard and I could not stay away, so he offered to teach me to ride in exchange for chores. While the other middle school girls were starting their drinking and questionable behaviour with boys, I was mucking stalls and riding every day.

        I'll never forget that man and his kindness. Please pay it forward, but be sure you have very strict guidelines about scheduling, expectations, and liability.

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        • #24
          Originally posted by Quinn View Post
          One of my dearest friends, recently passed, was my riding mentor 43 years ago. I'll never forget her kindness and her patience. She taught me so much and I miss her. I say, pay it forward.

          http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff
          Sorry, haven't read every post. I agree with what's Quinn's saying . . . just have to ask, would you advertise on Craig's List your daughter is looking for a horse to ride? My gut tells me this is a bad idea, there are some very weird people out there. Wouldn't it be better to get out the phone book, or go to a tack store bulletin board and look for close by stables and go visit?
          "You gave your life to become the person you are right now. Was it worth it?" Richard Bach

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          • #25
            Ahhh, I missed the age in the first post. Thanks EAW. Scrap that idea.
            bar.ka think u al.l. susp.ect
            free bar.ka and tidy rabbit

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            • #26
              Great post IMAX....

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              • #27
                I also like what IMAX had to say. I'd try to get ahold of the college student and see what the scoop is there, then give it a shot for a specified length of time.
                Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                Incredible Invisible

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                • #28
                  I was a horsecrazy kid too.
                  With 1 horsy parent (Dad rode when he was young) & 1 non (Mom had zero interest in the big, hairy beasts).
                  But both were supportive and paid for my lessons starting at age 8, then I traded babysitting money for riding lessons when I was old enough.
                  And I spent time in my early teens cleaning stalls,& hotwalking horses in exchange for lessons and just to be near horses.

                  Who knows, in this day & age maybe Mom is moneyless but internet-savvy. You can log on at most public libraries for free.
                  Craigslist is hardly a child porn site (in spite of the recent link to a killer).

                  IIWM I'd arrange an interview with Mom and if that doesn't sound an alarm, with the kid next.
                  Surely there are stablekeeping jobs the little girl is capable of doing with your overseeing her. And if she doesn't want to do that part then adios.
                  Riding is such a small part of the whole picture I would not indulge a kid who wasn't willing to invest some sweat.
                  *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                  Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                  Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                  Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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                  • #29
                    Compromise. Encourage them to get involved with 4H (you're right, pony club is probably going to be too expensive). Once she's involved, going to activities etc maybe get in touch with the 4H leader and say that you have a suitable pony for a horseless horse project member, and would be willing to be an adult volunteer. That protects you (after a fashion...) because 4H volunteers are covered by 4H's insurance, and you could look into the details but I also believe that there's some insurance protection for loaned equines in 4H activities. Check with Extension in your area for the details of volunteering with 4H and offering your horse to a member.

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                    • #30
                      Originally posted by razalter View Post
                      I was that horse crazy kid with no money and parents who were very anti-horse. Neighbor brought a horse home one day to put in his backyard and I could not stay away, so he offered to teach me to ride in exchange for chores. While the other middle school girls were starting their drinking and questionable behaviour with boys, I was mucking stalls and riding every day.

                      I'll never forget that man and his kindness. Please pay it forward, but be sure you have very strict guidelines about scheduling, expectations, and liability.
                      Just think of the response that man would have gotten today. "A girl wants to spend unsupervised time alone with you, a male? Run, run far away. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. What's her mother thinking, anyway?"

                      Good on him.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Agree with IMAX. Perhaps also ask the Mum for the contact details of the college kid. Say that you want to contact them to find out exactly what they had been working on with the kid so that you don't give conflicting messages.

                        Maybe it's nothing more sinister than the college kid got busy and doesn't have the guts or the manners to tell the kid, maybe she got a new boyfriend, or maybe there really is an issue. If you don't ask you won't know.

                        Good luck, you sound like a good person.

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                        • #32
                          Finding myself smack in the middle of a kindness to a friend of a friend, one that may end up involving the police and restraining orders and costing me a chunk of change to end: PLEASE proceed with caution. I do not regret paying it forward, or at least trying to- but it went off track and in the weeds in a split second.

                          You do NOT know these people.

                          If you just MUST meet this person: Meet her in person at a neutral place like a coffee shop. Interview her. Make no quick decisions. Do not tell her where you live.

                          You'll do what you'll do but do please be careful.

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                          • #33
                            I would say don't do it. You will be babysitting, at the age of ten. She will unable to help you much at that age, and can get herself and you and the horse in a lot of trouble. It will be all give on your part, all take on the mom and the girl's part.
                            I asked a horse-crazy neighbor girl, at 13, if she would like to help me with the horses. It was fun at first. I have mini who she adored. She lives in a hovel, very poverty stricken household and I felt sorry for her. Her mental age might have been more like a 10 yr old. The pony got out several times- she forgot every time HOW to secure the gate. She led the pony into inappropriate situations, broke the head off a water spigot, and taught hom how to yank and pull her around, woould let go of the lead rope, etc etc etc...
                            She really just wanted to hug and kiss the horses, and ride an already saddled and bridled horse- the wrong way.
                            I learned how much there is to teach AND remember about being around horses that are basic safety issues.
                            I am trying to teach now my SIL, and it isn't that different. She cannot remember from one day to the next how to halter, saddle, and bridle the horse, and really just wants to show up and ride an already groomed and saddled horse then leave. This is a lot of added work for me, and it is getting old fast.
                            But then I keep my horses at home, and if you are just talking about showing up at a stable and giving her a lesson once a week, it might be a lot easier. Don't underestimate how much there is to learn to be safe around horses, and don't assume the child is similar to you when you were young.

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                            • #34
                              I wouldnt do it unless MOM was coming along with the child. No way without parental involvement. And yeah, all my red flags would be waving if i saw a mother advertising like that on craigs list. Why not just post online, please molest my daughter, but bring a horse with you.

                              That's real poor parental judgment. Here we are, ripe for the picking. Me and daughter, we're broke, we're naive, we like horses.

                              This would be the question I'd ask after I got to know Mom a little better, uh, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

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                              • #35
                                RUN AWAY.
                                I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry

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