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#metoo - H/J World

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  • #61
    Originally posted by oneequestrienne View Post
    Take a look at the Safesport and USEF suspension/banned lists. Some very old history is coming out and not all are deceased. Clearly, 30+ years ago is fair game. Memories were dead and buried and now it all comes back.
    For many, if not most, victims of sexual assault nothing is ever "dead and buried."
    You can take a line and say it isn't straight- but that won't change its shape. Jets to Brazil

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    • #62
      Thought I would check in here and see if anyone else is experiencing trigger issues with the national news recently? I do NOT want to get into the politics of it, but I am genuinely having some personal problems. I have support to talk with, but I am hoping that anyone else who may be having trouble will call out for help. This past week has been like a nightmare for me.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by foursocks View Post

        For many, if not most, victims of sexual assault nothing is ever "dead and buried."
        I speak from my own experience.

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        • #64
          Originally posted by fair judy View Post
          Thought I would check in here and see if anyone else is experiencing trigger issues with the national news recently? I do NOT want to get into the politics of it, but I am genuinely having some personal problems. I have support to talk with, but I am hoping that anyone else who may be having trouble will call out for help. This past week has been like a nightmare for me.
          I understand. That week was difficult for me also. I also have support and am doing much better now. I have also worried about others.

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          • #65
            Originally posted by fair judy View Post
            Thought I would check in here and see if anyone else is experiencing trigger issues with the national news recently? I do NOT want to get into the politics of it, but I am genuinely having some personal problems. I have support to talk with, but I am hoping that anyone else who may be having trouble will call out for help. This past week has been like a nightmare for me.

            I've been away from COTH for a bit and by chance stopped back by and found this thread. I've read it a few times but didn't want to post until now.

            I'm working on being vocal about my experiences, and it's a work in progress. But I can say many, many difficult conversations happened over the last few weeks due to the current social climate of late. Conversations like:

            -I would never come forward and accuse my assailants, mostly because I fear the public humiliation and persecution that would follow.

            -I don't remember all the details: I don't remember the face of my predator when I was 4 yr old, but I remember my wall paper, where the closet was located, and what he did to me. I don't remember the names of the boys who assaulted me throughout my 8th grade year, but I can remember their hair color and one of the shirts I was wearing when it happened. I voluntarily switched schools 18 mths later, never to see them again.

            -I didn't share my experiences with anyone until 10 years after, told a counselor and my hubby at 20 years after, and other close family members at 34 years after the first incident. Every one of them was shocked and had no idea I bore such a heavy secret.

            -when I did share my experiences, some replied with "you're blowing things out of proportion" and "quit being dramatic". Please refer to #1 in the aforementioned list.

            So hearing the venom spewed on national news and social media was really hard on me.


            www.englishivyfarms.com
            Hunters, Jumpers, & Welsh Ponies
            All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day. ~Author Unknown

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            • #66
              Ivy,

              I am so sorry, both for your experiences and for the reactions from people who should have known better.

              I have similar stories/memories.

              I wrote about one here on COTH after the first #MeToo stories broke.

              But the last month has been much harder on me; much more triggering.

              -I would never come forward and accuse my assailants, mostly because I fear the public humiliation and persecution that would follow.
              and
              So hearing the venom spewed on national news and social media was really hard on me.
              Exactly.

              I did talk about things that happened to me as a child when I was in my late 20s. I was in therapy at the time. My family had a really hard time processing it and said some really regrettable things. Shortly after I started talking about it; there was a lot of news about "recovered memories" and therapists planting false memories. I am pretty certain that everyone I told seized on that explanation; that it hadn't really happened, that I had been manipulated by the therapist.

              I decided to let them believe that. In my experience, talking about it was not helpful or therapeutic or cathartic or anything positive. I know what happened and that's enough.
              The plural of anecdote is not data.

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