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Teenagers addressing adult horsepeople...Ms. Mrs. Mr. Firstname? Ms. first name?

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  • Teenagers addressing adult horsepeople...Ms. Mrs. Mr. Firstname? Ms. first name?

    Hi guys,

    this is something that occasionally comes up: How do you think teenagers should address adult horse people?

    Obviously, it's Mr. George Morris to you. But other than that?

    Trainer you are paying?
    Barn owner
    Adult boarders

    WS employer?
    Potential employer?

    I always feel that the horse world is a very first-name basis type of place, and I usually start right in with a first name, something I never do in other facets of life.

    For me, trainers have always been first name basis.

    One barn mom is Ms. First name

    Other barn moms are Mrs.

    Adult boarders are First Name

    What would you call a WS employer? Start off with Mr./Ms. or go for the first name? I just really don't feel that the Mr./Ms. is desired by most horse professionals.

    ETA: clinicians?
    Last edited by Beau Cheval; Jan. 5, 2010, 05:39 PM.
    "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
    "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson

  • #2
    Kids and everyone else call me by my first name. I am a client. I think that's true for all of the adults at the barn. I think some of the parents who don't ride get the Mr/Mrs titles.
    The Evil Chem Prof


    • #3
      I call my trainer, BO, and pretty much all adult horsepeople by their first names. I am 18 now, but I have been doing this since I was young. It creates a nice informal and comfortable atmosphere.


      • #4
        I'm 20 now but have been at my current barn since I was 16 and always called the BO, other boarders, trainers, etc... by their first name. I call my farrier by his first name but the vets I use Dr and their last names.

        ETA: It's funny because I'm so comfortable calling horse people by their first names yet when my professors want me to call them by their first names it makes me feel weird lol.
        No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill
        For Hope, For Strength, For Life-Delta Gamma
        www.etsy.com/shop/joiedevivrecrafts Custom Wreaths and Other Decorations


        • #5
          I'm Dr Grataan.

          To the pony club kids, they may call me Dr Firstname. Sometimes they slip and call me Ms Firstname (I don't mind)

          They call everyone Mr/Ms/Mrs Trainer, Mr Farrier, Ms/Mrs Barnmom/Mr Barndad etc.

          By the same token, we call them Miss and Mr lastname.
          Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
          Sam: A job? Does it pay?
          Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
          Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


          • #6
            Same as DGHunter, everyone by their first name except vets.

            Moved to the 'south' when I was 13, all the kids at the barn called trainers by "Ms. Kathy, Ms. Marissa", yankee that I am they went by "Kathy and Marissa", no one ever minded, and believe me, they would have mentioned it if they did.

            BeauCheval- seeing from your exorbitant amount of threads, you'll be in New England, no need for "Ms."


            • #7
              I use Mr/Mrs (lastname) untill I am corrected or asked to call them something else.. always, away from the barn as well.
              For a moment there, you bored me to death


              • #8
                I was always taught to call people by their last name unless otherwise told.

                My riding instructor and barn owners where I rode in high school I was introduced to with their first name.


                • #9
                  You are in NY so it doesn't really apply but in the south, kids call adults Miss and Mister (first name). So I am Miss EqT to my kids friends (well, not really, you get the idea tho'). Some kids are expected to answer Sir and Ma'am although that is not as common, and more likely to happen when they are in trouble

                  As they grow up they drop the Miss and Mister and there you are.
                  "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
                  The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pinkme View Post
                    I use Mr/Mrs (lastname) untill I am corrected or asked to call them something else.. always, away from the barn as well.
                    for children.

                    As an adult, I call people whatever they introduce themselves by. For example, I call my vet by firstname, because that's how she introduced herself to me. If I'm introducing her I try for Dr. First and last name and let her decide to change it if she wants. My vet at the big clinic goes by first name, but mostly because I think his last name is a woman's first name and it's funny to call this very tall man Dr. woman's name.
                    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
                    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"


                    • Original Poster

                      Thanks everyone. It seems in my experience that there is always that one mother that makes their kid call the trainer Ms. Trainer. They always stick out like a sore thumb.

                      Originally posted by heartinrye View Post
                      BeauCheval- seeing from your exorbitant amount of threads, you'll be in New England, no need for "Ms."
                      Synonyms for exorbitant: excessive, outrageous, unreasonable

                      I'd rather ask now than learn the hard way later...or never learn at all. Forums are for posting, and it seems that my posts have been moderately well received discussion topics since they have all had 5+ responses, one has gone to 3 pages...chock it up to misuse?
                      "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
                      "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson


                      • #12
                        First names around here
                        "ronnie was the gifted one, victor was the brilliant intellect, and i [GM], well, i am the plodder."


                        • #13
                          For children/teens, Mr./Mrs./Ms. unless the person in question asks to be called by their first name.

                          As an adult, if I'm introduced to someone as Mr./Mrs./Ms. then I will address them with that until they tell me otherwise.

                          Just good manners...which of course, there's very little of around these days. Don't get me started on table manners.


                          • #14
                            Every barn I've been at goes off of a first name basis(BO, BM, trainer, adult boarders, etc).


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by dghunter View Post
                              I'm 20 now but have been at my current barn since I was 16 and always called the BO, other boarders, trainers, etc... by their first name. I call my farrier by his first name but the vets I use Dr and their last names.

                              ETA: It's funny because I'm so comfortable calling horse people by their first names yet when my professors want me to call them by their first names it makes me feel weird lol.
                              Same growing up. I did grow up in the South but I was a bad southern child as I always forgot to say ms/mr first name as a kid. I usually called my barn friend parents by Mr. Mrs. last name though. Now that I am 25 its hard to break the habit even though they tell me to call them by their first name.

                              I know also call my vets by their first name.

                              Edited: I am a barn manager and do not mind the kids just calling me by my first name. I sometimes gets Ms. first name, but really just my first name is fine.
                              I love cats, I love every single cat....
                              So anyway I am a cat lover
                              And I love to run.


                              • #16
                                Raised in the South. I was brought up calling all adults Mr. & Mrs. last name. Yes, sir & yes, ma'am and all that jazz. It's like reflex, deeply ingrained in me. I'm 20 now and still hesitate before addressing adults by first name unless we're very well acquainted.

                                The kids (15ish and under) at the barn call trainer Ms. first name. Call most adults Ms. first name.

                                We call the barn workers that clean stalls by their first names. They are the best, love them.
                                Last edited by SkipChange; Jan. 4, 2010, 11:28 PM. Reason: typo


                                • #17
                                  Anyone that I see quite often and am "friendly" with I call by their first name. That is, trainer, farrier, vet. My friends parents I usually say Mr/Mrs Last name, unless they ask me to call them by their first name. I'm 21, and I've always done this.

                                  If I don't know the person, I'll call them whatever they introduce themselves as.

                                  I'm training to be a coach, and people that I practice on call me by my first name, they are usually young (10-17 year olds).


                                  • #18
                                    I prefer children to call me Miss Loshad or Mrs. Lastname because it is polite and respectful. I cannot stand when children call me by my first name (unless I have invited them to do so) and find it very ill-mannered. People who are significantly older than myself are addressed as Miss Firstname or Mrs. Lastname until I am told to do otherwise.

                                    This thread is making me feel old and crotchety. If you'll excuse me, I need to go tell some kids to get off my lawn.
                                    According to the Mayan calendar, the world will not end this week. Please plan your life accordingly.


                                    • #19
                                      Even now (at 3 decades+), if I run into a parent of a friend, or someone that I have a "formal" relationship with-it is Mr/Mrs Last Name.

                                      The farm that I grew up at, riders parents were refered to as Mr/Mrs Kids First Name, by all.

                                      I personally find it disrespectful to assume that you may call an elder by their first name until given permission. I have been a trainer, and while I did find it odd to have people call me Ms. Vindicated, the children that did were usually the most respectful all the way around.

                                      Also, I always addressed students parents as either Mr/Mrs. Last Name until told otherwise. It is a business relationship after all.
                                      "The Friesian syndrome... a mix between Black Beauty disease and DQ Butterfly farting ailment." Alibi_18


                                      • #20
                                        I am Miss Kathi, kinda like Miss Scarlet....
                                        Also Ma'am.
                                        One of the parents who teaches pre-school actually started the Miss thing. I don't mind it, even some of the college kids still call me that. I also used to tell them they didn't have to say Ma'am, but I figured it was undermining the parents, so I quit that.