• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

getting through the "quarter-life crisis"? in hard times

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • getting through the "quarter-life crisis"? in hard times

    This is kind of a vent, but mostly trying to get some ideas on how to get through and where to start. I am not trying to get sympathy, just need some ideas as I am sure I am not the first to go through this.

    Basically I am 20. I have one horse, trailer, an older but functional truck, and a couple of hundred dollars to my name. Last year I went to a major university and loved it, brought my horse... it was good. But to keep it short for financial reasons, I had to come home.

    So now I am completely financially independent, despite the free room in my parents house. worked 60+ hours a week all summer to make enough money to go to a local school. still working about 20 now, enough to pay the bills.

    The problem is I am just completed uninterested in school. Gen eds turn me into a zombie, but i have no idea what direction I want to go. I hate commuting, gassing up the f250 eats every extra dime I have. The horse drains the wallet, and I cant hardly ever ride because the weather has been horrendous. jobs are hard to find, especially with an erratic student class schedule. In my particular situation, accessing all federal aid still leaves me with $2k a semester I need to come up with.

    part of me just wants to sell the truck, the trailer, the horse and just try something else for a while... whether work, military, or trade school. I have been tied down for the last 10 years of my life, with the time and money it takes to support a horse. not to mention all the opportunities to travel/live in different places I have given up because the horse couldn't go.

    however, the other part of me just wants to hunker down, tough it out and hope things will get better. put my time and energy into the horse...work like crazy and maybe be able to do a couple shows, and finish school just because thats what your "supposed" to do.

    sorry... that was long and pathetic, but does anyone have any ideas or experiences to share?

  • #2
    I'll keep it simple - do what every you have to do to stay in school.


    • #3
      Originally posted by Go Fish View Post
      I'll keep it simple - do what every you have to do to stay in school.
      I agree. It's really hard to go back to school once you've left so hunker down and keep plowing forward until you finish a degree, you'll be happy you did later.


      • #4
        Hi there,
        I didn't have such a hard time through college as you did, but can relate to the way you are feeling. I ended up selling my super fancy, super talented horse for good money and used the funds for school and travelling; two things that i wouldn't trade now to be given the ride on the next Rox Dene
        Horses will be here forever. I have started riding again, as a financially independed newly wed with a real job in the real world, and I think I appreciate it more now than I did before because I had a break from it. Sell your truck, trailer and horse- do what you need to do to get your degree- having that degree will enable you to ride later without the financial strain. Like I said, horses will always be here, you can always come back to it!!


        • #5
          get rid of hrose, truck and trailer, you can always get those again later. GET A GOOD EDUCATION!!!


          • #6
            I agree with everyone else so far. I sold my horse before I came to college, and it killed me to do so. I call it my early life crisis, because I'm only 19. At the end of the day though, I'm happy I did. I'm happy not to have to worry about him if I left him home, or force myself to the barn every day to ride him when I should really be studying. It's easy to get overwhelmed and burnt out with school work, but its less easy to do so if you don't have 1000x other things going on. You might find that if you sell your horse, truck etc etc, and go back to school, its no where near as stressful as it used to be because you're not thinking about all those other things. Horses will always be there-Go to school so you can get a job to pay for a cushy job to support your horsie habit!
            Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. Explore. Dream. Discover.
            ~Mark Twain


            • #7
              put my time and energy into the horse..
              horses are a luxurious recreational activity. If you have no time, energy, or money to spare, putting them "into the horse" is a very poor life strategy. The reality is, if you don't get some kind of college degree now you're never going to be able to afford those horses. No one likes school (at least no one I've ever met). They do it cause they have to.
              Or I guess you could try to branch out into some horse related field that doesn't require college, say farrier? depends. But either case your horse is not important right now.


              • #8
                Originally posted by HuntersX3Heart View Post
                whether work, military, or trade school.
                Tough it out - for any of the above you will be MUCH better off if you have a degree before pursuing any of them.

                You could look into one of the following - part/full leasing your horse, parking your truck and trailer (storage), purchasing a super cheap super econimical used car (like $500-$1000 "beater") to save on gas.


                • #9
                  Education is most important. Keep up your work in school.

                  But to keep going through the rough patches, I really think it will help to have something to look forward to every week. My horse kept me from being too depressed during the rough points in college. Rather than selling him, I found a riding school that was willing to do a lease on him. I could still ride him one or two times a week, and the board and expenses were (mostly) taken care of. It was less expensive than therapy and more fun.

                  I would sell the gas guzzling truck and trailer and get a smaller vehicle though.


                  • #10
                    Can you go to a community college? Get your gen-eds out of the way for cheap or pick up a skill that pays in 2 years.

                    You need either a degree or a skill to make a living today. Period. Trade your truck for a car, sell your trailer.

                    If you really are not academic, a well chosen trade might be a good path. I have a masters degree. My (experienced) mechanic makes more than I do. So do (experienced) plumbers. There are some well paying 2 year degrees in medical and scientific fields as well. The military isn't really something you can "try".... it's a pretty big commitment. And well, a lot of 4 year degrees are useless these days (in terms of earning), and unless you are passionate, not worth pursuing unless you want to go get an additional degree.


                    • #11
                      ditto either selling or leasing the horse and trading in the trailer and truck for a more economical vehicle. After all, if you do end up having to trailer somewhere (assuming you keep the horse) you can always hitch a ride with a friend or fellow boarder.

                      An education is definitely important so stick with it. Look into fields that pay decently but have flexible schedules that would allow you to be in horses in the future. Some of these fields might be nursing, dental hygenist, radiology tech, etc. I know a lot of nurses and my sister is a radiology tech. Nursing is hard but it pays very well and often you get to work a 4-3 schedule (4-10 hr days, 3 off) so it leaves plenty of time to ride. My sister only spent 1 year after Gen-Ed to get her radiology cert and it pays well, in addition to have a similar schedule to the nurse. Just some things to think about!


                      • #12
                        Here is another point of view...

                        I'm 22, graduating from college in... 2 weeks with a 3.7 GPA!!!
                        I've been in your shoes... quite a few times really! Wasn't interested in college because I didn't know what I wanted to do and the basic classes were boring me to death... Rode as a working student for 7-8 months up north and then decided... hell this isn't what I want either, went back to school, working 40 hours/week and paid all the bills for my horse and I.
                        There were times where I felt like the pressure was ridiculous... but I wouldn't have ever made it through college without having a horse... That's just what worked for me. Kept me motivated to work and push forward. She was my escape time from school and work as well as "my" time... she was therapy!
                        You really need to see for yourself. It's easy to say sell the truck, horse and trailer and that horses will always be around (which btw is a speech I got more than a dozen times) but it didn't work for me...
                        I ended up getting a degree in International Business, not knowing what the hell I was going to do with it... in my position it was the one that opened the most doors no matter what I decided to do
                        Good luck and if you ever need to talk, feel free to pm
                        Proudly living in my "let's save the world bubble"!


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Donkey View Post
                          Tough it out - for any of the above you will be MUCH better off if you have a degree before pursuing any of them.
                          Point: the military will pay you to go to school. Down side, obviously, is if you're deployed. And especially if you have no idea what you want to do, they train for practical applications. It's a major comittment, even the Guard these days (as they are calling up Guard and Reserve units for overseas deployment--you might not end up in a combat zone, but that doesn't mean you won't end up in Germany or somewhere else we have bases.) But it does have a lot to offer someone who isn't gung-ho for a four-year degree in a specific subject.

                          The truck and trailer at least sound like they are way more trouble than they're worth. HOWEVER...if you genuinely have no idea what you want to do education-wise, I do suggest a community college. Get the gen eds (English, lab science, math, etc) and use their career resources--there are counsellors who help you figure out what you want to do. Don't blow money on a big school if you haave no idea what you want to do.
                          Author Page
                          Like Omens In the Night on Facebook
                          Steampunk Sweethearts


                          • #14
                            I have been in your situation. I am 25. I put off school for a couple of years because of financial reasons/I was more interested in riding horses than going to class. That was the BIGGEST MISTAKE I have EVER made in my life.

                            I am sitting here at 11 on a Wednesday reading COTH because I don't have a job. I lost my job in February 2009. Guess what. No one wants to hire you without a degree. It doesn't matter if you have experience in your field, with out a degree you are worthless. I have been on 10 interviews for administrative assistant jobs and they still are expecting you to have a BA degree. I have been told a couple of times, that is the reason someone else was hired over me.

                            One more of the awesome things about not having a job is not having money or insurance. I finally went to my dentist after putting off care because of lack of insurance and guess what! I need a root canal and a crown. $2110 without insurance. Fortunately, my parents are helping me with that one.

                            And one last thing to think about. At 25, all my friends are living and working in the big city out here with their significant others, where as I am at home, with my dad, single. I can't move out because no degree=no job. It is weird to be 25 and living at home. Everyone is moving on with their life and I am essentially still in high school. Meeting guys is a problem because saying, "oh yeah come pick me up from my dad's." is a turn off and a guarantee to never hear from the guy again.

                            I know this post is super long but this is the reality of life without a degree. I was just accepted into a great school and will be finishing my bachelors in about 3 years but if I could, I would go back to when I was 18 and finish school straight away. I really want to impress upon you how important this is. If I can help you avoid the agony this last year has been for me then I have succeeded.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by danceronice View Post
                              Don't blow money on a big school if you haave no idea what you want to do.
                              I think this depends on the OPs personality. Perhaps the reason the Gen Eds are making her a "zombie" is because the school she is currently attending is not challenging her enough. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was in college either, but was very happy to be at a school that had lots of things for me to try. I think at a big school you at least end up with a good name on your resume and a great alumni network even if you don't end up working in the field of your degree. I'm not trying to contradict what you said Danceronice because I think you're completely right in a lot of situations. Just want to make sure the OP thinks this through from different perspectives.


                              • #16
                                I think you should do whatever you need to do to finish school, but I don't necessarily think you have to sell the horse to do it. Honestly, I'd sell the trailer. I've had horses most of my life (boarded) and have never owned a trailer. Sure, it can be a problem at times, but if your horse loads and trailers well, you can usually bum a ride from someone for a price that is less than the cost of owning a trailer. If your horse is not boarded and you don't have access to another trailer on site, that's a different story.

                                When I graduated from high school, my parents sold my horse. I had no say in it. My understanding is that he did not meet a very good end. I regret to this day that I was not able to keep him, and, now that I am an adult, I have vowed never to sell my current horse. I went to undergrad for a semester, hated it passionately, and then dropped out to became a horse show groom for a year. That was fun, but I realized quickly that I would never be able to feed myself on the money I was making, much less actually own a horse. I ended up going back to school and eventually law school. I hated school, especially gen eds in undergrad. Law school was awful in its own way, but by then I'd sort of given in and decided to just gut it out. Sometimes that's what you have to do - just gut it out. Especially with short-term commitments like school.

                                Two things to keep in mind: (1) once the gen eds are done, they're done. You can focus on things that might actually interest you...or take a variety of classes in hopes of finding out what you might be interested in. (2) Whether or not you like school has little to do with whether or not you will like the job that school can open up to you. I love my job. And all that school I had to go through to get it really is a distant memory at this point.

                                Learning to push through a situation like this will help you later in life. I promise you that you will encounter all kinds of difficult and unpleasant things in your life, most of which you can't just turn your back on. Every day, I have to deal with client situations that I don't particularly enjoy (though I do, on the whole, enjoy my job). I use the skills I learned in all those years of school to get myself through it. Remember, school is just a means to an end. And it will END. Just get through it...with or without your horse. I think that if you are committed to keeping your horse, you will find a way to make it work. If not, then perhaps you have your answer.

                                I do agree with other posters that you won't get anywhere dropping out of school and keeping the horse. If you are going to keep the horse, you are going to need to figure out a long term plan for keeping the horse. That long term plan is going to have to involve some sort of career (i.e., education). You won't be able to make it happen with just a regular "job." Unless you marry a very wealthy spouse...but I would never take a gamble on something like that!


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by magnolia73 View Post

                                  You need either a degree or a skill to make a living today. Period. Trade your truck for a car, sell your trailer.

                                  If you really are not academic, a well chosen trade might be a good path. I have a masters degree. My (experienced) mechanic makes more than I do. So do (experienced) plumbers.
                                  AMEN. As a liberal-arts grad who has found herself surrounded by fellow liberal-arts graduates on employment (in some cases for a year), I feel there is NOTHING wrong with being without a college degree, provided you find something else that you LIKE to do and ENJOY DOING. FTR, my father chose to work a so-called blue-collar industry and made more $$$ than he could have with his two (!) advanced degrees.
                                  "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by Arall View Post

                                    I am sitting here at 11 on a Wednesday reading COTH because I don't have a job. I lost my job in February 2009. Guess what. No one wants to hire you without a degree. It doesn't matter if you have experience in your field, with out a degree you are worthless. I have been on 10 interviews for administrative assistant jobs and they still are expecting you to have a BA degree. I have been told a couple of times, that is the reason someone else was hired over me.
                                    Arall, I know people with advanced degrees and decades of experience who cannot even get a single interview — the economy here in NY is that bad. Consider yourself lucky that you can get a meeting, let alone ten. SO, don't kick yourself about not having a degree, or a job. Take this time to think about you want to do, and whether or not what you want to do requires you attend college, trade school, or something else altogether.
                                    "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."


                                    • #19
                                      I grew up always wanting a horse, but my parents were fine funding lessons and summer shows, but NOT going to buy a horse. I think not having the burden of a horse at times made me love it even more. So, agree with all of the above that say sell your horse stuff (just please find a good home in this tough economy!!) and you can still ride, when you have time. I rode at three barns in college, and still graduated with honors and two majors! I rode some really great horses with some really great people and learned a ton. Plus, if I was tired, or just not in the mood, the horses were FINE without me. Plus, you learn so much riding different horses. BTW, I joined the military after college (the Air Force is BEST!!!!) and loved it - found good barns everywhere by calling tack stores or vets to see if they knew of people with horses needing work. Plus, I got my masters - fully paid for, and I still have my GI Bill. Plus, the work is amazing - troops are NOT robots After reaching a point financially where I could finally got my first horse (after 19 years of riding!), I got one who is perfect for me in every way. So, get settled in life, and you can absolutely still learn a TON about riding and enjoy it, without being STUCK. And if you are already losing energy in the horse thing because life is too busy, I wouldn't recommend a horse profession - it takes a large fortune to make a small fortune in horses, and you'd have to work really hard to make your life comfortable. Good luck!


                                      • #20
                                        Sell the trailer. Trade in your truck and get a smaller car. Lease your horse.

                                        Find a course that interests you- there's no point in sleeping through something that doesn't interest you, because you don't benefit from it.
                                        Horse Show Names Free name website with over 6200 names. Want to add? PM me!