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  • #21
    ^ All of these rider affectations should be fairly easy for a rider just beginning to jump. Lose your leg? Get caught behind? All the other riders will be jealous, and the judge will take it to mean that you're horse must have a really powerful, round jump. Yes, you must do hunters.

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    • #22
      I just bet that your 20 year old pony is a magical, mystical Gypsy Vanner. If so, you should have no problems with Grand Prix jumps, his shimmering fairy feathers will enable him to literally fly over the jumps with shimmering rainbows left in his wake.

      For this xtra special show you should wear some really, really, really low cut breeches that require a full brazilian and make sure your neon pink and green mesh thong clearly comes screaming out, up over the top of your hideously encrusted rhinestone belt and is tight enought to create the full muffin top that we all so appreaciate seeing. A nice tramp stamp tattoo of a celtic horse design would finish off the look splendidly and be a nod to your magical vanner jumping geriatric uber pony.

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      • #23
        My trainer says that's true about hunters. My trainer said I should use rollkur on my Gypsy Vanner (whose breeder says he can totally do grand prix no problem) to get him in the right frame for Big Eq. My trainer said that the lining of my coat will keep us out of the ribbons, though, so I have to get a new one. My trainer says I'd get to grand prix more quickly if I had another horse for her to ride and show, and as soon as my trainer sells those other two horses my trainer said I should buy last year she says she'll find me one. I can't believe how many threads on CotH are just about what to wear--my trainer said they should just do what their trainer said. My trainer said there was a GPA helmet that cost $1500--does anyone have one and can you wear it with brown boots? I love my trainer.

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        • #24
          Oh crap. My trainer says Rye must type faster than me.

          Comment

          • #25
            Oh don't worry Citidog....how could I have forsaken the rollkur and the fact that we all must be trainer-whipped into zombie-like submission? Two very valid point that I should not have forgotten....shame on me!

            Comment

            • #26
              This is all very excellent information! I'm happy to inform you all that I am waaaay ahead of the game as I already have a Celtic tramp stamp AND a muffin top. Do I really need a brazilian wax, though? My MagikalGypsyVannerPoNY's shimmering mane should cover up any of my hey-nanny-nanny parts not already covered by my super low rise breeches, right?

              p.s. Isn't Rollkur a safety dismount?
              http://s31.photobucket.com/albums/c3...nibbystrot.jpg
              http://s31.photobucket.com/albums/c3...t=IMGP0754.jpg

              Comment

              • #27
                Cosmos mom.....uhhhh yes. Every serious hunter jumper rider needs one....get thee to the dayspa and defurberize yourself...don't you know that losing that extra weight will help any horse jump higher? Aren't you committed to excelling in your sport? Where is your committment?

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                • #28
                  iWUZ TELD i HAV TO GETSTRIDZ BTWEN FENSES. i$S TIS RIT?. I dUN TINK ISFARE FIR ME15H jRHuntr hez reel prty an runz gud buT theze meen Richsnoty gurlswhu rid badanddun luv there ponys alays win bEcuz they iswherin fanzy cloths an cna ridgud cuz the hav groms i Alwayuz Altometricreleez an thy uz creasted but theyjuj crokked whun i Posthear fur help evrybdyis meen an iAm nvr gointo post hearagin and iwil telalmefredz tostaey awy.
                  When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                  The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

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                  • #29
                    You win.

                    Comment

                    • #30
                      Originally posted by jeano View Post
                      I have whacked her with my karat shtick until my arms are soar.
                      For some odd reason this line has me LMAO!!!
                      "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

                      Comment

                      • #31
                        I recently fell off my horse but I had a helmut on so I ended up OK. Can someone tell me where I can find the cheapest Adequan?

                        Also, what do you think about LubriSyn and what should I feed my horse to get him fat?

                        Was also wondering, someone is going to let me ride their horse and I want to show it. It showed in VHSA for 2 years in the greens but hasn't in a really long time so I should be able to show it green again, right? That also means I need a show name.

                        What are the best boots I can put on him and can I use boots in the hunters? I want them to match my hackamore.

                        "If you have the time, spend it. If you have a hand, lend it. If you have the money, give it. If you have a heart, share it." by me

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                        • #32
                          OMG, I can't believe how mean you all are That poor little troll is only trying to learn something and you all jump down it's throat. You should be ashamed of yourself's!
                          I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
                          Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.

                          Comment

                          • #33
                            Ok so like I know I asked for your help but you people are SOOOOOOOO mean!!!! I am never coming to COTH again! And you know what--screw you COTHers cause my trainer told me how to do it & my trainer knows everything cause I pay them lots of money & my trainer is the bestest in the world cause they were like champion of the baby low green X's schooling lesson barn circuit so there!
                            "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

                            Comment

                            • #34
                              Originally posted by findeight View Post
                              iWUZ TELD i HAV TO GETSTRIDZ BTWEN FENSES. i$S TIS RIT?. I dUN TINK ISFARE FIR ME15H jRHuntr hez reel prty an runz gud buT theze meen Richsnoty gurlswhu rid badanddun luv there ponys alays win bEcuz they iswherin fanzy cloths an cna ridgud cuz the hav groms i Alwayuz Altometricreleez an thy uz creasted but theyjuj crokked whun i Posthear fur help evrybdyis meen an iAm nvr gointo post hearagin and iwil telalmefredz tostaey awy.
                              I believe we have a winner!
                              "The grace of God is found between the saddle and the ground" --Irish proverb

                              Comment

                              • #35
                                Originally posted by Anyplace Farm View Post
                                Was also wondering, someone is going to let me ride their horse and I want to show it. It showed in VHSA for 2 years in the greens but hasn't in a really long time so I should be able to show it green again, right?
                                Totally possible cause I bet the horse forgot what he knew. And even though you are a paid to teach lessons & ride horses on weekends you can still show in the ammy classes too cause you are like not as well off as those rich snotty people!
                                "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

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                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by Giddy-up View Post
                                  Totally possible cause I bet the horse forgot what he knew. And even though you are a paid to teach lessons & ride horses on weekends you can still show in the ammy classes too cause you are like not as well off as those rich snotty people!

                                  I dunno if he forgot or wut-ever but I'm thinking I can just change his name, right? And then no one'll even know.

                                  Can everyone help me with a name that starts with a T and ends in a Z? I think that would look kool.

                                  "If you have the time, spend it. If you have a hand, lend it. If you have the money, give it. If you have a heart, share it." by me

                                  Comment

                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by Anyplace Farm View Post
                                    Was also wondering, someone is going to let me ride their horse and I want to show it. It showed in VHSA for 2 years in the greens but hasn't in a really long time so I should be able to show it green again, right? That also means I need a show name.
                                    As long as you show him under a different name, it doesn't matter what he did before. Also, if you want to show amateur, just use your middle name. No one will know because your barn paycheck has your first name on it. They will ahve no proof its you.

                                    For a name, you should use Taterz. If you don't mind ending in an X instead of a Z, Tampax would be cool too.

                                    Comment

                                    • #38
                                      I have a question

                                      I got my 16.5 hand warmblood stallion off the track in January. My trainer has a 14 hand black Arab mare that she shows in the confirmatin hunters.

                                      If I breed them, will I get a horse that will win at the Olympics in either the jumpers or dressage? Or should I just stick with long stirrup?
                                      http://www.tbhsa.com/index.html

                                      Originally Posted by JSwan
                                      I love feral children. They taste like chicken.

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                                      • #39
                                        Geez, MGP, you're such an idiot. Why do you even bother to ask these questions? You're not going to listen to the answer anyway. Besides, you didn't give us enough information to make a good decision. WHAT color is the stallion???

                                        Comment

                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by archieflies View Post

                                          For a name, you should use Taterz. If you don't mind ending in an X instead of a Z, Tampax would be cool too.

                                          OK, I had to muffle my LOL when I read that. That is freaking hysterical!!!

                                          "If you have the time, spend it. If you have a hand, lend it. If you have the money, give it. If you have a heart, share it." by me

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