• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Does this e-mail sound good? (response to someonelooking for someone to show a horse)

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Does this e-mail sound good? (response to someonelooking for someone to show a horse)

    Hello,
    I saw your post on _____ and I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to ride and show your horse. I have been riding since I was 5, and I am now 15. I currently train with TRAINER at BARN, but I just returned from a working student position with BARN. A private show barn in COUNTY. I got the opportunity to ride my boss's adult jumper in a lesson, as well as the opportunity to ride a former Big Eq horse and show him in modified childrens hunters at A HORSESHOW(we planned on Novice but due to the weather I ended up showing in the Modified's.) We got two fifth places out of almost 30 riders in torrential rain. I had only ridden him 3 times before we went into the show ring. I trained with TRAINER while I was at my job. Recently, I have been riding a challenging small horse who is not capable mentally or physically of jumping the 3'-3'3, so I can't claim to be currently doing that division. I have done lower jumpers on difficult horses, so with a little time, experience and patience I am confident I could make the leap, so to speak. Due to finances, I have not had the opportunities to show many riders have, however, I am extremely dedicated to improving my riding and horsemanship. I genuinely love horses, and I would be thrilled to get the opportunity to move up in my riding. Please e-mail me back or call me at PHONE NUMBER to further discuss the possibility of me getting to show your horse.
    Thanks so much for your time.
    NAME

    ETA: They are looking for someone to show their 3'-3'3 jumper.

    I have, in the past, jumped a small, challenging horse that height, so I feel confident that in a short period of time I could move up to that level with a horse that is seasoned at that height. I felt comfortable jumped 3' lines while schooling at my working student job, and I really understand the way a jumper goes and feel like it's what I'm meant to do. That sounded sappy, sorry.
    Last edited by Beau Cheval; Aug. 3, 2009, 09:56 PM. Reason: ETA: what they were looking for.
    "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
    "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson

  • #2
    It sounds good to me but I would try and see if you could section it off into 2 or 3 paragraphs instead of one giant paragraph, just looks neater and more professional.
    “It's about the horse and that's it.” - GM

    !! is the new .

    Comment


    • #3
      It's probably just a typo but in case you didn't notice,

      " I currently train with TRAINER at BARN, but I just returned from a working student position with BARN. A private show barn in COUNTY. "

      should be

      I currently train with TRAINER at BARN, but I just returned from a working student position with BARN, a private show barn in COUNTY.



      Other than that, sounds good, although I second the idea of dividing it up into smaller paragraphs.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Beau Cheval View Post
        Hello,
        I got the opportunity to ride my boss's adult jumper in a lesson, as well as the opportunity to ride a former Big Eq horse and show him in modified childrens hunters at A HORSESHOW(we planned on Novice but due to the weather I ended up showing in the Modified's.)

        Due to finances, I have not had the opportunities to show many riders have, however, I am extremely dedicated to improving my riding and horsemanship.

        I felt comfortable jumped 3' lines while schooling at my working student job, and I really understand the way a jumper goes and feel like it's what I'm meant to do.
        English major here so I have a few nit picky things. Bolded things are mine.
        I really do not like the use of the word "got" in formal writing when avoidable. In your case I would use the word "had" as in "I had the opportunity..."

        The second one I bolded was because it seems like you left out a word. To me it should read "to show AS many riders have."

        The third part I bolded because "jumped" should be "jumping" as in "I felt comfortable jumping 3' lines."

        Also agree on separating into paragraphs.

        ETA: I would also start off your letter/e-mail by introducing yourself by name.
        No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill
        For Hope, For Strength, For Life-Delta Gamma
        www.etsy.com/shop/joiedevivrecrafts Custom Wreaths and Other Decorations

        Comment


        • #5
          With the grammatical issues resolved, and other suggestions implemented, I think it will be a pretty good letter. Good luck to you. (I'd give you a try).

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Hello,

            My name is _________. I saw your post on _____ and I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to ride and show your horse. I have been riding since I was 5, and I am now 15. I currently train with TRAINER at BARN, but I just returned from a working student position with BARN, a private show barn in County. I trained with TRAINER while I was at my job. I had the opportunity to ride my boss's adult jumper in a lesson, as well as the opportunity to ride a former Big Eq horse and show him in modified childrens hunters at SHOW(we planned on Novice but due to the weather I ended up showing in the Modified's.) We got two fifth places out of almost 30 riders in torrential rain. I had only ridden him 3 times before we went into the show ring.
            Recently, I have been riding a challenging small horse who is not capable mentally or physically of jumping the 3'-3'3, so I can't claim to be currently doing that division. I have done lower jumpers on difficult horses, so with a little time, experience and patience I am confident I could make the leap, so to speak. I have, in the past, jumped a small, challenging horse that height, so I feel confident that in a short period of time I could move up to that level with a horse that is seasoned at that height. I felt comfortable jumping 3' lines while schooling at my working student job, and I really understand the way a jumper goes and feel like it's what I'm meant to do.
            Due to finances, I have not had the opportunities to show that many riders have, however, I am extremely dedicated to improving my riding and horsemanship. I genuinely love horses, and I would be thrilled to get the opportunity to move up in my riding. Please e-mail me back or call me at NUMBER to further discuss the possibility of me showing your horse.
            Thank you very much for your time,
            NAME
            "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
            "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson

            Comment


            • #7
              Looks good, just be sure to space between each paragraph and indent at each new one.

              “It's about the horse and that's it.” - GM

              !! is the new .

              Comment


              • #8
                I would make it shorter and punchier, maybe with bullet points of your achievements. It's too wordy, and someone might not want to read all the way through. Also, the part where you talk about 'taking a lesson' with your employers horse would do nothing for me, if I were looking for someone to ride my horse. Kind of makes me think "so what?".

                Am I harsh? I don't mean to be. Good luck.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I might also remove the phrase "due to financial reasons" and somehow rephrase it to look less desperate, maybe say something about finding opportunities to show while working to advance your professional goals.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by BabyGreen View Post
                    I might also remove the phrase "due to financial reasons" and somehow rephrase it to look less desperate, maybe say something about finding opportunities to show while working to advance your professional goals.
                    Is this like a fee lease situation where you would be expected to pay entries, training fees etc. If so, I think the finances thing would set off a red flag.

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X