• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Trainer Drama Question

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Trainer Drama Question

    If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?

  • #2
    drama is everywhere!!!! If the trainer is doing thier job with you and your horse, then deal with it and stay...if trainer is not getting job done then move...drama is drama and everywhere!

    Comment


    • #3
      My barn has quite the bit of drama. I ignore it, try my hardest not to get involved, and enjoy having an amazing trainer. If the trainer is that good, it's worth putting up with the head ache of drama. Edit; the drama at my barn is mainly just teenage girls being, well, teenage girls. My trainer is never part of the drama. Don't know if the question was about drama from the trainer, or barn drama in general.
      https://catchacanter.wordpress.com

      Comment


      • #4
        Depends on what kind of drama? Can you be more specific?

        Unfortunately, my experience with the drama queen trainers has been the drama spilled over into their professional lives and a few were financially irresponsible or involved with a partner/boyfriend/husband that was and it created problems and tension in the barn

        Happened to me about 3 times and I left all three times. Friends in similar situations ended up leaving as well.

        There is just no need for most of it.
        When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

        The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

        Comment


        • #5
          I suppose it would depend on personalities and how the drama unfolded.....

          Are you talking about boarding with this person, so every time you go to the barn, you are subjected to drama?

          Or are you talking about trailering in for lessons, where you only have to deal with the drama of the week?

          IME, you can only get sucked into the drama if you let yourself.....
          Crayola Posse: Mulberry

          Comment


          • #6
            I think that as long as you distance yourself from the drama that it should be ok. Just dont talk badly about anyone, be curtious and polite, help out, get a good rep and you'll be fine. Sometimes a little drama can be interesting as long as you're not part of it.

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by jeta View Post
              I suppose it would depend on personalities and how the drama unfolded.....

              Are you talking about boarding with this person, so every time you go to the barn, you are subjected to drama?

              Or are you talking about trailering in for lessons, where you only have to deal with the drama of the week?

              IME, you can only get sucked into the drama if you let yourself.....

              Your right, I let myself get sucked into it. I don't want to spill all the details, cuz the others might be on here. I just feel like the spark to do well is fleeting fast. It's not all about me in my lesson anymore, and it should be, cuz that's what I'm paying for.

              I guess I need to take a big girl pill and just tell the trainer to drop it or I need to move on.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Chylli View Post
                I just feel like the spark to do well is fleeting fast. It's not all about me in my lesson anymore, and it should be, cuz that's what I'm paying for.

                I guess I need to take a big girl pill and just tell the trainer to drop it or I need to move on.

                Yeah, you do. The trouble with this kind of drama is it ruins your barn experience and it's just too expensive to pay for somebody else's problems dominating time you are paying for.

                Very unprofessional. And I can assure you, if she is acting like this, she is not the best trainer anywhere around.
                When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                Comment


                • #9
                  There's always drama- no way around it, you pretty much just have to deal.
                  Distance yourself from it & keep to yourself if necessary.
                  It's funny, since I'm a junior who moved to an all adult barn, I thought "Hey, at least there's no drama!". Yea, not so much.

                  If your trainer is involved and it's taking away from the training, maybe you should move. If it's just other boarders, or an obnoxious barn manager or owner, stay. So long as your horse's care doesn't suffer, and neither does your training, who cares?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Drama... like gossip and all?! I love that
                    I guess we all do if we're reading this thread


                    https://www.facebook.com/VoltaireDesign

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Been there, done that. Thought I had the best trainer for my daughter until I became her personal scape goat/whipping girl. Well, put an end to that right then and there. Fired her on the spot, and it was the best thing I EVER did . You are a paying client period. If the time you are paying for is being eaten up by the trainers drama, talk to her about it. If things don't change, move on. Good luck. Sometimes changing trainers feels like getting divorced.
                      Drop the drama and ride!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        have to agree on depends on what kind of "drama" there is drama that involves gossip and clients - which can be fun, but can also be hurtful and mean; or drama as in trainers personal life - which could mean financial, emotional, relationship/love-life, drugs/alcohol which could ultimately NOT be a good situation.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I agree with the others who say, if you are in horses, you will have a hard time escaping the drama (unless my idea for Barn Drama Queen island commune comes to fruition. It would be where we send the worst offenders from all of our barns....there the crazy BOs and trainers could cater their services to their equally crazy boarders. Perhaps crazy people horse shows could be run too) However, if you are smart you can try to avoid it, even if sometimes you must let a person rant and gossip while you nod your head and wait for an opportunity to change the subject. It sounds like the latter might be what is happening in your case. If so, I think it's worse that a trainer would do that (rather than just a fellow rider), as it perpetuates that atmosphere in the barn - but again that may just be an unfortunate trade off. However, it also sounds like it is cutting into time you pay for, which IS a problem. Maybe a talk to her about it will fix that problem, and you can continue comfortably, even if not pleased with the atmosphere. But if not, then yeah...time to look at other options.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You had better find a big island.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I can honestly say there is no drama in our barn. And that is because the trainer keeps it that way. I have been told that if drama is happening it's quite possible you will find your horse tied to the fence waiting for you in the driveway.

                              I have been in barns with drama & trainers who create drama or encourage it by not stopping it. That's no fun. It's too expensive to pay this much not to have fun & the barn be another source of stress.
                              "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by QHmom View Post
                                drama is everywhere!!!! If the trainer is doing thier job with you and your horse, then deal with it and stay...if trainer is not getting job done then move...drama is drama and everywhere!
                                Oh drama... always there... if it doesn't affect you, then bury your head in the sand and focus on your horses, your riding and the good times at the barn... I'm not saying don't care about your fellow barn mates, but if there's excessive crap, then ignore that. But sometimes drama can be entertaining as long as you're just a bystander

                                Originally posted by findeight View Post
                                Depends on what kind of drama? Can you be more specific?

                                Unfortunately, my experience with the drama queen trainers has been the drama spilled over into their professional lives and a few were financially irresponsible or involved with a partner/boyfriend/husband that was and it created problems and tension in the barn

                                Happened to me about 3 times and I left all three times. Friends in similar situations ended up leaving as well.

                                There is just no need for most of it.
                                And on the other side,like findeight pointed out, if the trainer is bringing drama into your life and not doing her job... LEAVE. It WILL get worse, the quality of the training will start to deteriorate and ultimately and paramount to anything else, your trainer will start to miss things pertaining to the health/safety of your horse. This has happened to me, and let me tell you... if you let it get to that last point, you won't ever forgive yourself... (yeah, sorry, still jaded and bitter. starting to get over the last of it, though, haha! )
                                My wonderful current trainer, however, knows to leave me out of anything that doesn't directly affect me. If I want to know the latest on something, I'll ask a friend.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Chylli View Post
                                  If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?

                                  What precisely do you mean by lesser trainer? Lower level shows? Dangerous practices? Smaller barn? Less clientele? Young? new business? Green horses?

                                  How do you know they're lesser? Have you ridden there? or have been told so?

                                  I do not tolerate drama, I don't share personal garbage with my clients during the time they are paying for. I do not tolerate innappropriate behavior in the stable, the arena, or at a horse show.

                                  If this experience is dirtying up your barn time, maybe you should trot on down the road and audit some of these "lesser" trainers' work. I bet you find they're not as bad as you thought. (If they are... then my apologies for your wasted time.)

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Disagree drama is unavoidable. Yeah, you get a little emotion sometimes, thats human, but the heavy duty drama? NO.

                                    The really good trainers simply do not allow it to get started among the clients and do not allow any personal problems to spill over into their client relationships.

                                    Past experience has included deteriotrating relationships with trainers who whine and complain about personal problems, boyfriends, financial problems, health issues-on MY TIME and MY DOLLAR. I just do not tolerate it.

                                    Have to say, with most of these? There was either a bad relationship with abusive so/bf/hubby/family that resulted in trouble for clients-like being locked off the property in a divorce dispute. Or substance abuse including perscription pain killers and one place that was running drugs.

                                    Barn I have been in since '95 tolerates no drama other then a few snippy 14 year olds once in awhile or a dominating adult. These are only allowed to go so far and then trainer has a chat with them. Has kicked them out on occasion.

                                    A little drama is human, heavy drama always gets worse and leads to more trouble down the road. If it's coming from the trainer-get out.
                                    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      [. Sometimes changing trainers feels like getting divorced. [/QUOTE]

                                      I am so glad someone else feels this way! We have just gone through leaving one & the stress has about done me in.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        This is an interesting thread....I absolutely agree that More-than-one-person-in-a-group = drama. To what degree depends on you. If you're paying your trainer, their time is yours for the time you're paying them. Period. End of discussion. Before you fire them I would have a nice respectful chat with them though.

                                        On the other hand, trainers also do not need to put up with drama from their clients however tempting it is to stand and gossip/chat rather than instruct the rider. Most trainers I know are extremely professional and keep the lesson on topic the entire time. Some trainers are also friends of their students and that's when drama can spill over into after training time so to speak.

                                        Before you head out to what you're calling a "lesser trainer" (what DOES that mean?), you owe it to your current trainer to discuss your feelings if you've been successful with that trainer and would prefer to stay with them.

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X