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Leaving to go to a "Rival Barn"

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  • Leaving to go to a "Rival Barn"

    Just wondering what all of you think. I've been riding at my barn for almost three years, but now have found I would prefer to be at their rival barn for many reasons. My barn is like family, but I am better off at the other barn because they offer better services. If anyone can understand what I'm trying to say, please help...

  • #2
    Originally posted by JumperCrazy418 View Post
    Just wondering what all of you think. I've been riding at my barn for almost three years, but now have found I would prefer to be at their rival barn for many reasons. My barn is like family, but I am better off at the other barn because they offer better services. If anyone can understand what I'm trying to say, please help...

    I have no advice for you about what you may want to hear, but I do wish to say that you would be very wise to handle it like a mature adult and not like a teenager. Do not view or act as if you're "moving to the rival barn", view it as you are moving for the better services as you said. When the "rival barn" starts talking down about your previous barn, never forget were you came from and who you once - and just now called "family.

    In other words. " don't be a b!tch about it". Always keep in mind that your actions affect EVERYONE around you.
    "I am going to teach you about men. distances are like men. Never grab the first one you see; it's never the best one, and more will come along."-George Morris


    • #3
      Well said SLS!! Agreed. And good luck!


      • #4
        Agree with SLS. Don't burn bridges, you may find yourself wanting to return one day.


        • #5
          Good luck!

          I just left a barn for another barn in a similar situation However my situation was a bit different. My horse had just injured himself so we had sent him away to retirement, so I was just lessoning/looking for a lease or part board. turns out I found an AMAZING horse at my new barn, I told the coaches at my prior barn saying sorry but school horse or ultimate hunter, I could not turn down this offer, they seemed understanding about it and welcomed me back to visit and keep in touch.


          • #6
            If both barns are professional, there shouldnt be an issue. Just be friendly, and have fun wherever you go!
            "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"


            • #7
              I did the SAME thing over the summer.

              You have to do what is best for you and your horse.


              • #8
                The grass ain't always greener...............

                Every barn has it's issues.

                Be nice where ever you go. Don't burn bridges, you might find you want to go back to the old barn after the shiny and new has worn off at the "rival barn".
                Stoneybrook Farm Afton TN


                • #9
                  Your current barn is the one with a problem if they consider other barns "rival". Rather, the trainer/coach should present other barns as "good competition" or in other positive terms.

                  And as much as you may consider your current barn "family"...you are there firstly to learn and progress in a somewhat demanding and expensive sport. You (or your parents) pay this trainer/coach good money to do so.

                  It's when trainers cross over that line from coach/role model/business owner to being BFF or Big Sisters with younger girls is when it gets dangerous.

                  Just be nice to your old friends, and to tell you the truth...no one really cares, riders and horses move barns ALL the time. It's the paranoia that is the poison here. Don't drink from that cup.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Carolinadreamin' View Post
                    Agree with SLS. Don't burn bridges, you may find yourself wanting to return one day.
                    Absolutely... the horse business is a small world! Be professional about it for sure. Good luck, moving is never easy but if you are open and honest about your reasons for moving you may avoid all the "talk" that often surrounds a "move".
                    Hunters, Jumpers, Equitation and Ponies
                    Don't practice until you do it right, practice until you can't do it wrong!


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by tidy rabbit View Post
                      The grass ain't always greener...............

                      Every barn has it's issues.

                      Be nice where ever you go. Don't burn bridges, you might find you want to go back to the old barn after the shiny and new has worn off at the "rival barn".

                      Well said Tidy Rabbit. Don't ever burn your bridges, you never know who you may need in the future.


                      • #12
                        I don't know why so many think of a competing business as anything but a competing business. It is not a "rival". Somebody/thing that is against you in a confrontation is a rival, not just another business in the same field.

                        So, if barn B suits you better then barn A at the moment, move. Like stopping at market B instead of market A because it is on your way home. Or maybe there is a sale on your favorite products. Market A will not take it personally.

                        Good to feel like family and it is nice if it really is...but you may find you only thought of it that way because you were a client. And, maybe, Barn A will realize they are not up to par on their services and improve-that is what competition does.

                        Be nice to all but move if it suits you with no regrets.
                        When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                        The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.


                        • #13
                          If your current barn really is "like family," then it should, just like family, want the best for you and your horse.

                          Be forewarned that most of the time the "family" atmosphere exists only so long as you stay part of the family clique and once you move, the nastiness can begin. If this happens, then they weren't truly family to begin with.

                          Leaving a barn can expose the true quality of the relationships you have. A true professional will be gracious and wish you the best. Fellow clients should understand and also wish you the best. And everyone should be friendly when seeing each other at shows and clinics.

                          But it rarely works that way.

                          And like everyone was saying, don't burn your bridges and don't read more into the situation. Be nice, be polite, thank everyone who has served you and wish everyone the best upon leaving. Most importantly, don't become part of the problem that now plagues most barns.
                          It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


                          • #14
                            In 2005, I was faced with a similar situation. I couldn't afford the lease at the barn I had been at for years, so I moved to another barn for the summer because the situation worked better at the time. I kept in touch with my trainer over the summer and went back in the fall after my last junior year.

                            Every barn has something to offer. Leave gracefully because if you do like the current sitaution there is a good chance you may want to come back at some point down the road.


                            • #15
                              I think the mentality of "rival barn" that your current barn seems to foster could make this a not easy transistion for you. But so goes life. Be mature, don't gossip & remain polite regardless of what happens. People will respect you more for that. Be upfront with your current trainer. Nothing starts the rumor mill faster than "I saw...." or "I heard...". Let the trainer hear it from you first.
                              "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"


                              • #16
                                One thing you learn as a professional pretty quickly is that turnover in this business is high and it always will be. I am sure that your trainer(s) will be sad to lose your business, but its just part of it, and if they are professional, they will move on and greet you cordially at shows. Its just part of it. You have to do what is best for you- no trainer has a program or style that works for everyone.
                                Teneriffe Enterprises- NW Indiana


                                • #17
                                  My advice:

                                  Always speak well of you previous barns, and defend them if someone who wasn't there is bad-mouthing them. After you, you've spent 3 years there. If it was so bad, why would you have stayed so long? - talking bad about your prevoius barns just ends up making you look bad/unprofessional.

                                  Make the effort to say hello to your former trainer/barnmates at shows, etc. I know this can feel uncomfortable sometimes, but it makes you a better person. I think it is really silly when people talk badly/gossip about their former barnmates or pretend not to see/know people at shows that they have riden with for years.


                                  • #18
                                    I just left a farm. There were 101 nitpicky mean reasons I was leaving. You don't mention those. I simply told the barn owner that being at her barn helped my horse improve and that I was ready to move on to a farm where I could go even further in my training.

                                    When it come time:"I am giving my 30 days notice for Flossie. I have so enjoyed riding here with you and have really progressed. It's time to move on though. I am moving to Rival Barn and excited to go to (more shows, more access to trails, cheaper board.... insert reasons here), but will really miss you guys!"


                                    • #19
                                      I was at a barn for 2 1/2 years in GA and decided to take an internship for the summer in Fl. My trainer told me that I would learn a lot and that i would come back and work/ride with him again. As the summer ended I realized that my old trainer and I just weren't very well matched so i explained to him that I was looking at other places to ride but i was still going to train a horse at that barn for the owner. Thats when the gossip started. Every time i came to ride the horse I heard what he had said about me in the past week. I thought was just really immature and didn't say anything back. It was his business if he wanted to talk about me. We had nothing to argue about so i didn't see the big deal. So I have found another barn and trainer and ride their. its a great environment and the trainer is a good role model. I do go back to the other barn once a week to ride the greenie and help her along in her training. Whenever my old trainer and I run into each other I am very polite and say hello how are you. It's funny because he grunts a hi and stalks off. Who would've thought a grown man wouldn't have business manners. Oh well just goes to chow you can be polite on your end but you never know what's going on at the other end.
                                      when the world turns on you your horse will be there.


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by Dun Ciarain View Post
                                        My advice:

                                        Always speak well of you previous barns, and defend them if someone who wasn't there is bad-mouthing them.
                                        This is great advice -- I found myself sticking up for one of my old trainers recently when a friend tried to critisize the trainer's show record --

                                        IMO, the criticism was really off base -- Plus, if it gets back to my old trainer that one of my friends is criticizing her, where do you think she'll assume it came from?
                                        "I never mind if an adult uses safety stirrups." GM