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My horse died last night - I don't know what to do. I posted this also in OC, but again won't hurt. Pictures now posted.

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  • My horse died last night - I don't know what to do. I posted this also in OC, but again won't hurt. Pictures now posted.

    I was on my way to dinner with my boyfriend and I get a hysterical call from my friend from the barn telling me to go there right away, something had happened to Sebastian. There was a huge thunder storm with lots of close lightening, the horses had been running around and lightening hit a tree close by - Sebastian ran into the fence and broke his left hind in 3 places. I got there and he was standing in the dark, in the pouring rain, with lightening all around, with his leg hanging off, covered in blood and sweat. I went and held him and cried on him in the rain - telling him I didnt want him to die and that it wasnt fair and he was going to be some kids new favorite horse and was going to teach them so much - I wanted to badly for him to be ok, for him to live, but the vet got there and took one look and said there was no possible way for him to survive. She put him down and he just laid there, in the rain, with his head on my lap, giving me sad looks because I know he didnt want to go away - and I layed there in my dress clothes and just cried long after the vet and everyone had left. My poor sweet horse had to spend the night in the middle of his feild in a thunderstrom all night long, with only a fleece cooler over him. This happened 12 hours ago - its just not fair. How can I be driving to dinner at 7:26 and then be holding my dead horse's head in my lap at 8:43. Its just not right, its not fair. I dont know what to do - I work at the barn so I have to go out there, but I dont know if I can. I will drive my the pasture and see the big pile of fresh dirt where they buried him, I will go and feed the pasture horses and he wont be there - I was supposed to have a lesson this morning. I know many of you have gone through this - how did you do it, how did you move on. Its all I can think about, I dont know who to talk to, I feel like there is one person I can call and it will make eveyrthing better but theres not. I am mad at God for doing this to my horse and I am so extremely upset - nothing anyone says of does makes me feel any better. Also, I work at this barn and I am supposed to go out there today and ride my friends horse and possibly feed tonight - I want to go out there but I dont know if I can - I dont want to see where my baby was buried and where he died and suffered and see his blood on the ground. Can someone help me? My mom's out of town and my dad hs never been sensitive about my horses or anything else so he doesnt say to much - just, I dont know, any advice? anything?

    [This message was edited by Lammie on Jul. 30, 2003 at 10:18 PM.]
  • Original Poster

    #2
    I was on my way to dinner with my boyfriend and I get a hysterical call from my friend from the barn telling me to go there right away, something had happened to Sebastian. There was a huge thunder storm with lots of close lightening, the horses had been running around and lightening hit a tree close by - Sebastian ran into the fence and broke his left hind in 3 places. I got there and he was standing in the dark, in the pouring rain, with lightening all around, with his leg hanging off, covered in blood and sweat. I went and held him and cried on him in the rain - telling him I didnt want him to die and that it wasnt fair and he was going to be some kids new favorite horse and was going to teach them so much - I wanted to badly for him to be ok, for him to live, but the vet got there and took one look and said there was no possible way for him to survive. She put him down and he just laid there, in the rain, with his head on my lap, giving me sad looks because I know he didnt want to go away - and I layed there in my dress clothes and just cried long after the vet and everyone had left. My poor sweet horse had to spend the night in the middle of his feild in a thunderstrom all night long, with only a fleece cooler over him. This happened 12 hours ago - its just not fair. How can I be driving to dinner at 7:26 and then be holding my dead horse's head in my lap at 8:43. Its just not right, its not fair. I dont know what to do - I work at the barn so I have to go out there, but I dont know if I can. I will drive my the pasture and see the big pile of fresh dirt where they buried him, I will go and feed the pasture horses and he wont be there - I was supposed to have a lesson this morning. I know many of you have gone through this - how did you do it, how did you move on. Its all I can think about, I dont know who to talk to, I feel like there is one person I can call and it will make eveyrthing better but theres not. I am mad at God for doing this to my horse and I am so extremely upset - nothing anyone says of does makes me feel any better. Also, I work at this barn and I am supposed to go out there today and ride my friends horse and possibly feed tonight - I want to go out there but I dont know if I can - I dont want to see where my baby was buried and where he died and suffered and see his blood on the ground. Can someone help me? My mom's out of town and my dad hs never been sensitive about my horses or anything else so he doesnt say to much - just, I dont know, any advice? anything?

    [This message was edited by Lammie on Jul. 30, 2003 at 10:18 PM.]

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm so sorry for you and for Sebastian. I know there is nothing that can be said to make it better when you lose your best friend, but just know I am thinking of you and holding you close in my heart.

      Bev

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh God, Lammie, I am SO sorry! I can't begin to imagine what you're going through... Wish there was something I could do or say to help ease the pain

        II===II SUZ II===II
        "KICK ON, AIDEN!"
        *SC'er's Clique**Group W Bench Clique*
        Crayola posse~ orange yellow, official pilot
        Proud owner of "High Flight" & "Shorty"

        Comment


        • #5
          That is dreadful, truly dreadful. It was just a freak accident, and nobody could have stopped it, even if they wanted to. I am SO sorry, but keep in mind that Sebastian has joined his friend Willem over the Rainbow Bridge and he "loffs" you.

          "More than a few runners she had retired showed up in The Chronicle of the Horse, their necks arched and their knees neatly folded over the impressive obstacles." --Horse Heaven

          Comment


          • #6
            I am so sorry for your loss - slow down, take a deep breath and think of all the wonderful times you had with him. It's okay to cry, and it's okay to take some time off to reflect on this; I don't think anyone would expect you to be up to feeding/caring for the other horses right away. Remember that you gave him the best that you could in letting him go quickly, and not adding to his pain while trying to find a miracle that unfortunately was not meant to be. Try & find your mom while she's out of town - I'm sure she wouldn't want you going through this alone. Hang in there, honey - if you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Thinking of you, and your wonderful horsey

            Comment


            • #7
              Oh Lammie, I am SO SORRY ! Like you said there is nothing anyone can say right now to make this better. Just know that we are here for you. As far as you having to go to the barn, I'm certain no one is expecting you to come to the barn today, tomorrow or the next day. This is an impossible thing to deal, especially at this moment in time. Just know that Sebastian is in a wonderful place (all be it way too soon).
              Sending you a huge cyber hug from SC .

              Natalie

              "A horse is a horse of course of course"...This person obviously never met MY horse!
              *Who Knew*
              *Frosted Flakes*
              www.kimballphotography.smugmug.com
              ~*~Mom of the wonderful Nikolas aka \"Niko\"~*~
              **Proud member of The Colorful blinb-bling helmet, SCgirls, BGSGand the EquinePhotog (do we have one yet?) cliques**

              Comment


              • #8
                I am so sorry for you. It is so hard, nothing really makes you feel better. Just keep going out to the barn, the other horses will make you feel better. It's ok if you don't take your lesson today, wait until your ready. Hope you feel better soon
                Corner Stone Farm
                Weeki Wachee,FL .Follow us on FB!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oh Lammie, I am so very sorry for you loss.

                  I agree, try to get ahold of you Mother, men are pretty useless at times like this.

                  ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))

                  "Do not underestimate a horse's pride, or he will dent yours.

                  My horse's feet are as swift as rolling thunder, He carries me away from all my fears. And when the world threatens to fall asunder, His mane is there to wipe away my tears. ~Bonnie Lewis

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh my goodness ... I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. It wasn't anyone's fault that it happened, least of all YOURS. It was a freak thing and you did the right thing in stopping him from being in pain and suffering, which is the hardest decision for you to make - I know, I had to put my dear old friend of almost 20 years down a few years ago. It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do in my life.

                    It's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry - but slowly, the pain will ease up enough so that you will begin to remember your dear old friend with a smile rather than a tear.

                    Just remember - it was an ACCIDENT and it was in NO WAY your fault. You were with him at the end, and he slipped away with his 'person' with him; that is the best gift you could have given him.

                    My thoughts are with you, hang in there - remember you always have horsey friends here that do understand what you are going through.

                    Katy, owned and loved by Feather, the Spotted Wonderhorse
                    ** Member of the Appaloosa Clique **
                    ** Get Spotted on an Appaloosa **
                    ** Get Spotted on an Appaloosa **

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      OMG! I'm almost in tears now! I can't even begin to imagine how you feel! If you can, I would take a few days off from the barn. Maybe do some stuff for yourself. Spend time with friends. Even if they aren't horsey they will probably understand you loss and be very compasionate for you.
                      Again, I'm so so so sorry!

                      ~Steph

                      *Tapestry* 2000 Dutch WB mare by Contango
                      Originally posted by JSwan
                      Prove it....Otherwise, you're just coming off as a whackjob.
                      Founding member of the "Not too Klassy for Boxed Wine" Clique

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm so sorry for you and this terrible thing that happened. I lost my horse last fall and know it takes a long time for the pain to subside. Know that everyone is thinking about you and caring about you at this time.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm truely sorry that you and Sebastian had to go through this. It is so hard to lose the ones we love.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I understand what you're going through, 2 years ago I lost my favorite stallion, Orka, to colic surgery, and after a month of keeping him alive, we had to put him down due to laminitis.
                            There aren't any magic words your can say to make the pain go away. I also thought that it wasn't fair, why did this happen to me? Why am I being punished? Don't think like that, it won't take you anywhere.
                            It helped me more to think about this... Everything happens for a reason, and a door is never closed without a windown being opened.
                            I cried for a long time, then stopped crying altoghether.. Finally 3 months later I wrote him a letter to say good bye, and that was the closure I needed.
                            If you ever need to talk, Email me.
                            I am very sorry.

                            - Luisa
                            "As the Europeans say - No Scope, No Hope!"
                            - Luisa
                            \"As the Europeans say - No Scope, No Hope!\"
                            http://homepage.mac.com/luisa22/Menu10.html

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What an awful thing to have happened!

                              Things happen sometimes which are unexplainable - and that we have no control over. Those are the hardest to accept and understand.

                              You should take some time off to gather yourself, to take the time to reflect on the happy times that you have spent there and how much joy Sebastian has given you. Yes, it will be hard, hard to think about, hard to get past, hardest to go on. But if he were here, and could tell you, he would say thank you - thank you for your care and attention, your love and annoyance, and every moment with you. And he would thank you most of all for being strong enough to be there when he needed you the most.

                              It is OK to cry, to scream, to be angry - all of that is normal. And it will lessen with time, and be replaced by the good memories.

                              Glimmer and I send cyber hugs and thoughts your way. Hang in there - and that is the beauty of this board. You can come here anytime and talk to people who can sympathize - the virtual cyper shoulder. I have used it a time or two....

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I lost a horse to colic, and I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. I don't know that you ever "get over" it -- time makes the better memories more prominent, but that loss does remain. It doesn't mean another relationship with a horse is out of the question, but it never takes away the one you've lost. If it helps at all, this quote gave me some solace my horse died.

                                "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan."

                                Irving Townsend

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  I am so, so, SOOOO sorry about your loss. I can't imagine losing a horse of mine like that. It'll be hard, but eventually you'll feel better. In the mean time, you've got the whole COTH community here for you.

                                  -Nicole-

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I'm sure many of you have seen this but I'm going to post it. I lost my first foal I bred last week. She was only seven, we buried her a week ago today and I'm still crying. This was sent to me by my vet and a Dear friend. Maybe it will help you too. I'm so sorry for your loss and feel your pain. It is so hard, my heart will always have a scar from the hole left by Pearl. But the hole will heal and scar in time.


                                    Don't Cry For The Horses

                                    Don't cry for the horses that life has set free,
                                    a million white horses forever to be.
                                    Don't cry for the horses now in God's hands
                                    as they dance and they prance in a heavenly band.

                                    They were ours as a gift, but never to keep;
                                    as they close their eyes forever to sleep.
                                    Their spirits unbound, on silver wings they fly,
                                    a million white horses against the blue sky.

                                    Look up into heaven, you'll see them above;
                                    the horses we lost the horses we loved.
                                    Manes and tails flowing, they gallop through time.
                                    They were never yours-they were never mine.

                                    Don't cry for the horses, they'll be back someday.
                                    When our time is gone they'll show us the way.
                                    Do you hear that soft nicker close to your ear?
                                    Don't cry for the horses, love the ones that are here.

                                    Author unknown

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I'm so sorry for your loss Lammie. Just remember that Sebastian will always be grateful for the life that you gave him. He's in Heaven running and jumping. He loves you for letting him go so quickly.
                                      I lost my horse, Lady, in November to cancer. I know how hard it is to lose a horse. I owned Lady for 6 1/2 years.
                                      It's always sad to lose a young horse.
                                      Call your mom. PM me if you need to talk.

                                      Love,
                                      Kathi, Sail Away (Sally) and A Gift for Jenny (Joe)
                                      Love,
                                      Kathi, and Sail Away (Sally)

                                      Proud member of the Georgia Click and the Bay Fat Mare Click

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Oh Lammie,
                                        I am SO sorry. What a nightmare. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I know you loved Sebastian and he loved you. You had wonderful times together. Let those memories live in your heart and he will always be with you.

                                        Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group
                                        Finally down to a manageable number!

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