• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

I think my trainer thinks that I am an idiot or something

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I think my trainer thinks that I am an idiot or something

    Last edited by hifi; May. 17, 2013, 02:44 AM. Reason: regret

  • #2
    Is she supposed to know your history telepathically? All she has to go off of is your riding and it sounds like she sees the timid, not so coordinated rider as you just described yourself. It sounds like she wants to make sure you are comfortable with the jump heights and the horses you are riding. If you feel like you need a greater challenge but don't speak up about it, how should she know?


    • #3
      I get what you are saying and agree with furlong about saying something and not expecting your trainer to be a telepath, but ...

      I don't want to sound like a jerk, but, from the description of your trainers actions and comments ("this horse is too green", "is this fence too big", etc.) I wonder how good of a rider you actually are. You do indeed have a very impressive history and I have no doubt you understand what you are doing, but all that means absolutely nothing if it doesn't translate to skill in the saddle. Maybe instead of worrying about her not giving you credit, maybe worry about whether or not you are missing a solid foundation and are not ready for the green horses, higher jumps etc. Please note, I'm not talking about being physically able to handle these things, but being able to handle them properly.

      The other option is that your trainer does not know what she is doing and does not recognize good riding when she sees it. If that's the case, then you should probably look elsewhere.

      Anyway ... this is all just my opinion for what its worth. Sorry if I offended you.


      • #4
        Here's the thing-- it doesn't really matter what you were able to do "back in the day," the instructors/ trainers need to teach to where you are NOW. I'm not at all discounting your experience, but the fact you might have jumped 4' has little relevance to your skill set today if you haven't done it in 10 years. You may know tons of theory but you still have to be able to execute. And if you have not communicated your experience to your trainer, how could they know? Especially if you ride/represent like the "typical" adult ammie who is jumping 2' and riding a few times a week.

        I am not trying to insult you-- I used to ride 7-8 horses a day and jump 5 days a week. Now I'm lucky if I'm on a horse 1x a week. I have lots of knowledge in my head but the fitness level and coordination is not where it once was due to time off, limited riding, etc. the last 5 years.
        We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.


        • #5
          Sorta the same as the first responder....she won't know how far you are willing to go unless you show her.
          Even if you did already ask for a bigger challenge horse, you may not be showing you are capable of said horse.

          I myself an a re-rider who used to have no fear, no issue with bigger and higher jumps....when I was young and my bones were made of rubber.....now that I am older I tend to take it easier....and my coach doesn't know I used to jump all the time...she thinks I can barely canter....I take no offense, it's b/c she doesn't know what I haven't told her.
          Someday I may start jumping again...and hopefully wow her!
          if you havent fallen off a horse….then you havent been ridin long enough


          • #6
            Hey don't knock the lessons with the walk/trot kids too hard! Sometimes honestly it helps to focus on the basics ESPECIALLY if you are timid. As my trainer has said to me "I'll take 10 successful walk/trot lessons over 1 disastrous canter lesson any day." Maybe your trainer is a skeptic like mine and makes you prove you can ride the ride before giving more challenges. Sure you worked with a course designer but did you actually ride the courses? I had my biggest wake up call when I started working with the rescue horses on the weekend. I was used to schoolies with perfect manners. Imagine my surprise when I got to handle a rank 3 y/o that had been so badly beaten he greeted my halter attempt with teeth and hooves flailing. Do I have experience with rank horses sure, about 15 years and a whole lotta courage ago. To the director I looked like a rank beginner with my attempts at handling. Could have died of embarrassment when I almost put the halter on upside down. *sigh* But after a few weekends of patience I get to handle the harder horses. Time and proving yourself are the keys to the harder horses.
            Adoring fan of A Fine Romance
            Originally Posted by alicen:
            What serious breeder would think that a horse at that performance level is push button? Even so, that's still a lot of buttons to push.


            • Original Poster

              I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.


              • #8
                If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
                Patience pays.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Melissa.Hare.Jones View Post
                  If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
                  I agree with this.
                  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                  ¯ Oscar Wilde


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hifi View Post
                    I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.
                    Wait, wait, wait ... it's been two years and your trainer has not recognized your skill. I think you need to sit down and have a frank talk. Clearly you are on separate pages - either she does not understand what she is doing or you are getting mixed messages and are not riding as well as you think you are. Reality is probably somewhere between the two, but you need to get that straightened out as soon as you can.

                    Good luck.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Melissa.Hare.Jones View Post
                      If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
                      This. Generally the time to have the conversation with the Trainer about your background/skills is in the first lesson or so. At least that's always been my experience. Either off the bat or after watching us warm up a bit, Trainer asks what we've been doing, what my goals were, etc. That would have been the point to say (for example) "Well, I used to do the A/O Jumpers, but I took a bad spill a few years ago, and have been starting over again with Greenie here. I'd like us to be doing the Adults next season" or whatever.

                      Two years in, if you haven't had a conversation like this, it's time to either sit down and have a talk about goals and plan to move on if you don't meet them, or move on now if you feel like you've had that talk and gotten nowhere.
                      A Year In the Saddle


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by hifi View Post
                        "Is that fence too big for you?"
                        Time for a new barn/coach
                        If your trainer cannot accurately assess & challenge you in each lesson, you are wasting your time & money ...
                        Most coaches/trainers faced with a new student, initiate a discussion on past experiences/goals.
                        As neither your trainer nor her assistant are doing this, and their program is not working for you (after 2 years!!!), move on


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by hifi View Post
                          I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.
                          Then talk to her. Tell her that your goal is to XYZ. My trainer in WA was great at pushing me toward my goals, but I told her that I wanted to advance. We did our first derby in WA with her. Trainers are pretty smart, but not clairvoyant.
                          Steppin Not Dragon "Bella"
                          Top Shelf "Charlie"
                          Check out the Military + Horses fb page!


                          • #14
                            Well, confuzzeled here, you said you were timid and a bit uncoordinated and complained another ammie was getting all the nicer, more challenging rides. Then said you were put in a WT lesson and the youngish instructor asked if a 2'9" fence was something you were comfortable with? What WT group jumps 2'9"? What is wrong with being asked by somebody who has not taught you before what you want to do? Plus that, at 40? Many trainers are going to be younger then you are, a lot of them hang it up, get hurt burn out or whatever-best get used to young up and comers teaching you. A lot are pretty darn good despite the age.

                            Then you add another post and say you have done well with all the other horses you have been assigned to ride?

                            Soooo, maybe if you wrote down your goals and what you are capable of and THEN sit down with your trainer for a chat you can be a little more clear then you are on here.

                            One thing...generally, unless you or the trainer own or lease the horse you are on, usually not going to be jumping much over 3' if that-the owners can be picky about who rides on their dime. If you want to jump bigger but do not have the horse for it, maybe you could look into a half lease to get some recent experience at height. That's something else you can discuss with trainer.

                            Oh, may I ask how many days a week you are riding? Are you there all the time or just once or twice a week?
                            When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                            The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by findeight View Post
                              What WT group jumps 2'9"?
                              Really. That's not a walk trot lesson group.

                              Jumping 2'9" but you lack confidence and are uncoordinated? Hit the gym, get fit. Perhaps your fitness level is what is holding you back?

                              I don't see what working for a vet or an equine studies degree has to do with riding? Your education has nothing to do with your riding ability, but your fitness level has everything to do with it. Why not ask the trainer what you can do to improve away from the barn?

                              Or if you're super fit and it's just bad coaching, well... then maybe it's time to move on.
                              Stoneybrook Farm Afton TN


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by tidy rabbit View Post

                                I don't see what working for a vet or an equine studies degree has to do with riding? Your education has nothing to do with your riding ability...


                                Knowing about horses and being able to ride them are two seperate things. Sounds like you definitely know a lot about horses but I am also confused about your situation and what you're saying.

                                I'd say have one more chat with your trainer and then make up your mind about if you want to move on or stay. Just start the disussion in a tactful way that doesn't sound like you're accusing the trainer of anything. Like, "What do I need to improve on in order to jump bigger fences?" and "Are there any other horses you think I could try? I think some variety would benefit me."

                                And when they answer, LISTEN.


                                • #17
                                  In working with a trainer for two years and she knows nothing about your past-I would say you both lack communication/chemistry and should move to someone you can be happy with. The trainer you have now does not think you can do more. 40 years experience means you are 50-60 +? maybe she is thinking about your safety more than your riding level by keeping you at a lower level...


                                  • #18
                                    One thing I'd recommend if you do decide to speak with your instructor (and it's totally up to you if you decide to give him/her another shot or move on instead) is to ask the instructor to give you a very specific list of what needs to happen before you move up. For instance, make him/her tell you, "In order to ride a horse like [one of the harder horses], I need to see you do X,Y, and Z every ride for a month." Or, "In order to move up to 3' fences, I need to see you do [these things] every ride for two weeks." At least that way you'll know what the instructor is waiting for and be able to achieve your goals faster because of it. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors of frustration in a situation like this.

                                    Best of luck!
                                    ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

                                    The equine love of my life: Gabriel
                                    4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3


                                    • Original Poster

                                      I was not put in WT lesson, I thought the walk trot instructor was going to set fences for me not give me a lesson. It is obvious I need to talk to her. She says the "are the fences too big" to most of her students and I see why there are so many wennies at my barn. The equestrian studies etc doesn't so much have to do with my riding lessons but our discussions in general. She gives the air that she knows all and I know nothing. I don't go around telling everyone about my accomplishments because that isn't who I am (this board is anonymous).


                                      • #20
                                        Wait, let me get this straight: you ride a lesson horse? Or you have your own that is admittedly limited in ability? You expected that you were just going to have fences set for you? Why?

                                        OP, maybe I'm just crabby from being in the midst of finals week and if that is the case, my apologies, but to me, you come across as being on your high horse. A lot. From your description, you are riding like the stereotypical adult ammy - nothing wrong with that, but not the kind of rider that gets to jump willy-nilly without being instructed either. I think you need to communicate better with your instructor, and if you are noticing this kind of pattern, maybe re-evaluate how you're riding (or even better, get someone to video you so you can see it).
                                        Proudly blogging for The Chronicle of the Horse!