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Test your ethics

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  • Test your ethics

    Here's one for you - trainers & riders may all chime in:

    Last weekend, one of my working students was scheduled to go to Culpeper on one of my horses. She had asked to go & promised she would pay for her entry fees. I offered to split them with her because she doesn't have the most money. (She rides for free & I pay her for teaching btw.) The signed entries were sent in by the closing date of March 23 with a blank check from me. (standard practice on the check)

    Last Wednesday, said student - who is a bit of a hot mess in her personal life - texted me to say that she was no longer going to go because of financial reasons. Okkkkkkkk... Turns out, she had decided she was going to go camping with a new boy toy & blew off the show for that. A reason I did not discover until after I got back home. She also had gone out & bought new camping equipment for her trip.

    For those of you who do the AA shows, stall fees are NOT refundable, there was a split for tack stalls - not refundable, plus scratch fees. All in all, I am out several hundred dollars - because as trainer & owner, I am responsible for the bill.

    But wait! There's more: on Monday (my day off) - she went to the barn, taken not only her things out, but some of mine as well. And then bragged about how she had pulled one over on me. Nice.

    Mine is the second barn in 7 months that this girl has blown through. She was given 2 days to get out of the other and I guess we have an idea why now.

    So guys - clearly I'm outraged, but WWYD? Particularly those of you in NoVA.

    And, any NoVA trainers/BO who might be concerned - PM me for her name... with this one it's better to know what you're getting in advance.
    "Socrates was a very wise man who went around giving good advice. They poisoned him." Anonymous...

  • #2
    I wouldn't say anything.
    I would let her keep thinking she 'pulled one over on you', and let her keep 'teaching' for you.
    Once she has taught enough to 'make up' what you were out at the horse show, I would show her the door.

    Also- you sound awesome. I would jump at the opportunity to horse show for half of my class fees!


    • #3
      If I get this right the girl has stolen some of your property and also caused you an expense for not showing up at a horse and now has left .. SO first if she was a working student for me who I PAID to teach and if she is showing as an amateur I'd change that status with the USEF, Second if she stole property from me , I'd file a police report and if I could I would take her to small claims court.. not only to recover the stolen property BUT the money she cost you by skipping out of the show , she had a verbal contract with you and she broke it.


      • #4
        I like Mike's idea too!

        Sounds like she needs a BIG reality check.


        • #5
          I agree with Mikes MCS, file a police report. Don't let her get away with stealing from you. If she has done this multiple times she needs to finally face some consequences.

          It stinks that this happened to you, Good Luck with whatever you decide.


          • #6
            Unfortunately, she sounds like a few girls I've met in the show world. I agree with Mike. It's unfortunate but there is a lot of trust in this industry and a lot of verbal contracts, if you let her get away with it she is either going to do it again to some other trainer OR brag to her, probably seedy, friends about how you're an easy mark - NOT a reputation you want to have!
            Originally posted by Windsor1
            Actually, high fashion costs money. Style is . . . priceless.
            : Cheers to that!


            • #7
              Yep. Agree with mike.
              Horses aren't our whole life, but makes our life whole


              • #8
                Hold her accountable to the letter of the law. Follow Mike's post
                <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.


                • #9
                  Such a bummer, what an inconsiderate twit. I would much rather go horse show then go camping, that is for sure. I am sorry this happened to you as you sound like a caring person. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. Don't worry though, I believe in karma and she will get what is coming to her. Do you have anyone else who would want to show the horse that weekend so you will not be stiffed on the stall fee? Best of luck to you!


                  • #10
                    Time for the WELCOME she thinks is tattooed across your forehead to come off.


                    • #11
                      At my barn, if a student commits to a show, and bows out either with less than one months notice, or after stall/grounds fees were submitted, whichever comes first, they are still responsible for paying their portion of the fees. We have this in writing. May help to have something concrete like this for the future?

                      Your situation simply sucks, Im sorry this kid is doing this to you, with the opportunities you provided for her! If I were you, I would send her a bill for her half of the fees, as well as the estimated value if the items she took.


                      • #12
                        I think Mikes idea is on the right track BUT if you plan to follow through with court, you need to have your ducks in a row.

                        What type of agreement do you have with her? Do you have it in writing. Because if you don't and have no proof of her stealing; you will be wasting your time in court.

                        Depending on your situation and where this girl lives; I would file a police report, scare her with the police at her door, of course fire her and move on with your life.

                        Do you really have time to spend going after a kooky teen that has no money?

                        Good luck and sorry this happened to you.
                        Live in the sunshine.
                        Swim in the sea.
                        Drink the wild air.


                        • #13
                          Yabbut filing a police report is *work*.

                          Get your stuff back.

                          If you have her scheduled to teach and you want your lost stall fees back, have her do that up to the amount owed.

                          Then have a sit down and fire her. Tell her why. That's important.

                          Or fire her now and eat the money you lost, just to get her off your place. I wouldn't have someone like that working for me. You don't have to pay people to mistreat you.
                          The armchair saddler
                          Politically Pro-Cat


                          • #14
                            I totally agree with Mike. File a police report now about the stolen items. Get a screen capture of anything she might have said online that is her admitting to getting you. Then go file in small claims court.

                            Your chances of seeing any of your stuff or any of your money are pretty slim but by doing nothing you are allowing her to get away with this.


                            • #15
                              I'm not getting the impression she's still working for OP, and that pulling her stuff out (and stealing OP's) was her exit move. If there is any remote chance of proving she stole stuff, whether someone saw it or whoever heard her bragging will corroborate, I'd file the police report. If those things are insured and enough to claim them, you'd need a police report anyway and IME it isn't that hard to file. As for the show fees, I think you're stuck and just learned a lesson...and it is a shame this person will now cause you to be hesitant to help another deserving working student, as you sound like a good person.


                              • #16
                                OP- did she steal your stuff and leave? I guess the way I read it was- she was getting ready to ride and was using some of my stuff- maybe I just read this wrong?


                                • #17
                                  I agree with a lot of advice above, particularly reviewing any contracts you have for employees - if that isn't iron clad, take this as a learning experience and make sure you have yourself covered in future. But police asking will at least scare her, and I would NOT have her teach to recoup losses - I'd want her GONE ASAP, and ensure she doesn't have access to the facility - if she had a key or whatever, change the locks. Sick, because how many people would LOVE the opportunity she squandered???


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by mvp View Post
                                    Yabbut filing a police report is *work*.
                                    Agreed; but it's a waste of time if you go to court without proper documentation. A police report will start the paper work trail you MAY need in the future.

                                    Originally posted by mvp View Post
                                    Or fire her now and eat the money you lost, just to get her off your place. I wouldn't have someone like that working for me. You don't have to pay people to mistreat you.
                                    I would do this. A person that steals may just cost you "more" damage and drama.

                                    And agree that you must have a face to face as to why you fired her and completed documentation of it. You just never know, she may just sue you... people like this are unscrupulous.
                                    Live in the sunshine.
                                    Swim in the sea.
                                    Drink the wild air.


                                    • #19
                                      Just plaster her name everywhere and tell everyone you know

                                      Perhaps she'll figure out why there aren't any welcome mats out for her anywhere.

                                      And go knock on her door and tell her you want your stuff back.

                                      I'd be a cold day in hell before anyone bragged about taking my stuff and still had it.

                                      Or bide your time, she'll go to a show eventually. And she go to the porta potty.

                                      Imagine her surprise if she's standing at the in gate and you calmly walk up and take your bridle off her horse.

                                      That would make it so worth it.


                                      • #20
                                        Well other than giving her an unkind reference (and you have to be careful what you say so you don't get in trouble..) there's not much you can do. If she did steal from you then you need to file a report and any proof you might have that she was the thief (you much have proof since she's bragged about pulling one over on you) If the value of your belongings is enough it could be a stiffer penalty should she get caught... you could also file a civil claim against her too... In MD we have this wonderful Case Search website where you can search somebody's name and maybe find out all kinds of info.. if nothing else, if VA has something similar (which I'm sure they do) then any future employers will find out her record by doing a simple background check.. I love how people who claim they don't have any money manage to ditch paying for necessities but somehow manage to pay for what they want...