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Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

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  • Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

    Make me a match!

    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Finally, somebody has made me grasp the appeal of online dating! It just had to be presented in horse terms. I can't wait to read the next installment.

    http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-1-wish-list

  • #2
    This was *hilarious*! Thank you so much for posting it!

    It made me ponder what my fiance's ad would have been like if he were an equine.

    He's the cranky, oldish (maybe late teens or 20), underweight gelding with a lot of "personality" that won't take crap from anybody... But has that one special person he's "bonded" with that he'll walk through fire for and lets do anything they want to him. And that person, for better or worse, is me.
    ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

    The equine love of my life: Gabriel
    4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3

    Comment


    • #3
      Completely awesome.

      My girlfriends and I use to discuss boyfriends in horse terms. Like, "I think you need an elevator with that one. He's dragging you to the long spot, so you need to get his head up and ride him down to the base, or he's going to leave long and crash." Translation: He's snowing you. Don't get attached, but get him in line or he'll break your heart.

      Or "He needs to be ridden from the leg. If you touch the reins, he'll flip his head." Meaning: He likes to think he's in charge, but he can be manipulated through subtle means, if you're willing to try it.

      And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
      Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
        And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
        Okay, I am so stealing this!
        *****
        You will not rise to the occasion, you will default to your level of training.

        Comment


        • #5
          "Those were the days my friend".... In some ways I'm glad they ended.

          Now I can watch others and laugh.
          Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

          Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.

          Comment


          • #6
            I read that earlier and thought it was so funny and well written.

            However, I am very glad I am married because my want ad for my horse was -

            He has to be tall (because I am tall) He does have to be a HE, can't be over priced and I don't care what breed or color just as long as he moves nice, is kind, brave and young!!!

            So it looks like the guy I married 20 some years ago fits my ad perfectly. I haven't even changed my requirements in all those years!!
            Live in the sunshine.
            Swim in the sea.
            Drink the wild air.

            Comment


            • #7
              After a long series of high maintenance and testy 17+ hand palominos, I switched to a modest, laid back 15'3 hand bay paso fino. He doesn't have the showy mane or big floaty step, but he goes wherever I want, whenever I want, and, most of the time is an absolute delight. Of course, he is prone to a bit of laziness, but responds well to clear directions and the occasional firm kick.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #8
                Bump.

                The second installment of the online dating saga is up. Love the comparison to the 2/5 lameness.

                http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-2-buyer-beware

                Comment


                • #9
                  What a great idea for a short column series! Been fun reading it!

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Yes. My only quibble is that you know how it ends if you read the bio with the article. Spoiler alert!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      hahaha that is great!!
                      Originally posted by rustbreeches
                      [George Morris] doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        The third and (I'm sorry to say) final installment is up.

                        http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-3-test-ride

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hmmm... I wanted... A ride who would be reliable and honest. Quirky and grumpy would be okay as long as he viewed me as his person, and would do his best to take care of me.

                          I got a kick-along, very lazy city horse who learned to appreciate being around other horses. He's a tall, arthritic model who seems to have lost his flowing mane altogether. And, while he is cranky, he loves his person and her other animals very dearly. Sadly, when he is opposed to a particular bit of work, he just plants. No amount of treats or punishment will move this one.
                          Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            *shuffles, blushes, ducks head* Aw, thanks guys. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And thanks, MHM, for the shout out.

                            If you're in the mood for more, here's "why making horse sale videos doesn't qualify you to film a book trailer": http://jessehayworthbooks.blogspot.c...hat-wasnt.html

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              LOVED IT!! I have tried the online dating scene. And have definitely run into a few of the mentioned issues! I will most definitely be sharing these with my horse friends

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