• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

    Make me a match!

    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Finally, somebody has made me grasp the appeal of online dating! It just had to be presented in horse terms. I can't wait to read the next installment.


  • #2
    This was *hilarious*! Thank you so much for posting it!

    It made me ponder what my fiance's ad would have been like if he were an equine.

    He's the cranky, oldish (maybe late teens or 20), underweight gelding with a lot of "personality" that won't take crap from anybody... But has that one special person he's "bonded" with that he'll walk through fire for and lets do anything they want to him. And that person, for better or worse, is me.
    ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

    The equine love of my life: Gabriel
    4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3


    • #3
      Completely awesome.

      My girlfriends and I use to discuss boyfriends in horse terms. Like, "I think you need an elevator with that one. He's dragging you to the long spot, so you need to get his head up and ride him down to the base, or he's going to leave long and crash." Translation: He's snowing you. Don't get attached, but get him in line or he'll break your heart.

      Or "He needs to be ridden from the leg. If you touch the reins, he'll flip his head." Meaning: He likes to think he's in charge, but he can be manipulated through subtle means, if you're willing to try it.

      And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
      Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.


      • #4
        Originally posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
        And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
        Okay, I am so stealing this!
        You will not rise to the occasion, you will default to your level of training.


        • #5
          "Those were the days my friend".... In some ways I'm glad they ended.

          Now I can watch others and laugh.
          Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

          Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.


          • #6
            I read that earlier and thought it was so funny and well written.

            However, I am very glad I am married because my want ad for my horse was -

            He has to be tall (because I am tall) He does have to be a HE, can't be over priced and I don't care what breed or color just as long as he moves nice, is kind, brave and young!!!

            So it looks like the guy I married 20 some years ago fits my ad perfectly. I haven't even changed my requirements in all those years!!
            Live in the sunshine.
            Swim in the sea.
            Drink the wild air.


            • #7
              After a long series of high maintenance and testy 17+ hand palominos, I switched to a modest, laid back 15'3 hand bay paso fino. He doesn't have the showy mane or big floaty step, but he goes wherever I want, whenever I want, and, most of the time is an absolute delight. Of course, he is prone to a bit of laziness, but responds well to clear directions and the occasional firm kick.


              • Original Poster


                The second installment of the online dating saga is up. Love the comparison to the 2/5 lameness.



                • #9
                  What a great idea for a short column series! Been fun reading it!


                  • Original Poster

                    Yes. My only quibble is that you know how it ends if you read the bio with the article. Spoiler alert!


                    • #11
                      hahaha that is great!!
                      Originally posted by rustbreeches
                      [George Morris] doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis


                      • Original Poster

                        The third and (I'm sorry to say) final installment is up.



                        • #13
                          Hmmm... I wanted... A ride who would be reliable and honest. Quirky and grumpy would be okay as long as he viewed me as his person, and would do his best to take care of me.

                          I got a kick-along, very lazy city horse who learned to appreciate being around other horses. He's a tall, arthritic model who seems to have lost his flowing mane altogether. And, while he is cranky, he loves his person and her other animals very dearly. Sadly, when he is opposed to a particular bit of work, he just plants. No amount of treats or punishment will move this one.
                          Born under a rock and owned by beasts!


                          • #14
                            *shuffles, blushes, ducks head* Aw, thanks guys. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And thanks, MHM, for the shout out.

                            If you're in the mood for more, here's "why making horse sale videos doesn't qualify you to film a book trailer": http://jessehayworthbooks.blogspot.c...hat-wasnt.html


                            • #15
                              LOVED IT!! I have tried the online dating scene. And have definitely run into a few of the mentioned issues! I will most definitely be sharing these with my horse friends