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Student who seems uninterested in listening

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  • #21
    What I have been doing is teaching for over 30 years and I can tell you that this generation has less work ethic, expects something for nothing, and is divided like no other generation I have taught. Is it every single child, no of course not, but as a whole I find it very sad for them.

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    • #22
      I think the generation of kids now are trying to put so much more on their plate than they used to; or parent's feel the need to get them into so many activities they can't possibly feel passionate about EVERYTHING they are doing, and "less work ethic" is a result of that. Part of this I think is due to the fact that there aren't nearly as many stay-at-home mom's or dad's, and they have to find after school activities for their kids to do to kill time before they get home from work.

      When kid's are excited about riding, I see excellent work ethics and excellent attitudes, some of my working students work harder and better than most of my co-workers when I did retail. Maybe I'm just spoiled though!

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      • #23
        Originally posted by Snowfox View Post
        What I have been doing is teaching for over 30 years and I can tell you that this generation has less work ethic, expects something for nothing, and is divided like no other generation I have taught. Is it every single child, no of course not, but as a whole I find it very sad for them.

        "The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
        authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
        of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
        households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
        contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
        at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

        -Socrates

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        • #24
          My first thought when I read the title of this post is a little different from the actual content of the OP. I agree with the posters that say she may be bored/stuck in the same routine with no apparent goals she can reach. I also agree with the posters that mention her hormones as an issue or other problems outside of riding that she may be focusing on. There are jus so many options here! From just reading the title, I immediately thought of my own issues with riding and how my trainer would constantly just yell the same word or phrase to me-one that I obviously wasn't doing/understanding. My trainer never tried to clarify or reword what she was saying to me. It was very frustrating for all around. Ultimately I left and was able to find an instructor who could clearly articulate what they wanted. Once I understood life got better.
          Do you think your student understands what s expected of her? Could you rephrase your instructions if need be? Maybe she is just being a brat, but don't give up on her. You both may need to address your lesson (hope that made sense).

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          • #25
            I like teaching teenagers but they can be challenging and do want to see progress and have fun.

            To get students re-energized I will sometimes do mini-challenges, things like "make your own course" (can be poles) or an obstable course, or set poles/jumps in a line far apart and challenge them to do a set number of strides and so on.

            Videoing them can also improve work ethic.
            Freeing worms from cans everywhere!

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            • Original Poster

              #26
              She has shown with me for the last two summers and was jumping 2`9 courses last fall. Our indoor is to small to really jump. I understand it can be boring, but we do lots of different things to change it up. I think the posters about other sports are right. They do so many sports and riding is just not something you can half ass. She is always doing multiple sports Aug-May. Hopefully it is just winter funk or hormones.

              Thanks for all the suggestions. I will have to try the challenges etc, and will have her mom video the next lesson

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              • #27
                Wow. I hope you guys who are saying "this entire generation is lazy and x and y and z" don't paint all teenagers/tweens with the same brush. I cannot own a horse (tho I may work off a lease) or ride 5-6 times a week or lesson 3 times a week. Luckily my trainer still lets me go to shows so I can show off what I've learned from my riding 2x a week as that's all we can afford.

                If she was jumping 2'9 last summer and is being a PITA now, she may just be bored? Not an excuse for what she's doing, but maybe riding a different horse or spending one lesson doing groundwork or going for a trail ride may revive her a bit. Cabin fever sucks.
                Proud member of the COTH Junior (and Junior-at-Heart!) clique!

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                • #28
                  Former middle school teacher weighing in...this kid is 12 and involved in a bunch of other stuff? If riding is like work - which it is - maybe she just needs to take a sabbatical. She's got to find the joy in it again (and I don't mean rainbows & unicorns delusional joy). There's nothing wrong with her just taking a break and coming back to it when she's ready to listen, etc.

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                  • #29
                    Before we paint a whole generation as a problem or try to diagnose the girl with something or assume her family has some bad dynamic...she's a 12 year old girl! It's no fun to be a "tween" girl and it's no fun to have them around. Ugh.

                    I don't think this situation justifies any gross generalizations. If the girl is not paying enough attention to get anything out of her lessons, talk to her parents about it. Maybe she's lost interest, maybe she's overextended. If you are straight with her parents on her progress, it's their call on whether they want to continue wasting money or not. And, if you don't think she's ready to show now...don't take her to a show. Sometimes hearing "no" is the best thing that ever happens to kids this age .

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                    • #30
                      I would also add that if she's moved to a new school- starting middle school from elementary- she could have a whole new group of friends/influences that are having an impact. She may just not want to ride at this moment and needs a break like others have said. Also, has her pony/the horse she rides (not sure if she owns the pony or if it's a lesson schoolie) been difficult. I know for myself personally, I really didn't want to ride for a while b/c my horse was a PITA and I ended every lesson in tears and frustration. So I would maybe look for something that has wrecked or hurt her confidence and so she may not want to be trying and failing so she just doesn't want to try.

                      Or she's twelve, just got her period and was moody and uninterested in what's going on. Or had a fight with her mom that afternoon in the car.

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                      • #31
                        Originally posted by peachy View Post
                        It's called hormone brain. Tell her to come back when she's about 14 and a half.
                        It also happens at 52 and a half. Just sayin'!

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                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Lady Eboshi View Post
                          It also happens at 52 and a half. Just sayin'!
                          Right there with you. 50 and a bit...early teens, same difference. We're all at the mercy of our hormones and anything we get accomplished is a total mind over matter exercise. Anywhere between late teens and late 40s is a piece of cake in comparison. Menopausal women and girls at puberty unite! We demand understanding...and, most importantly, patience .

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                          • Original Poster

                            #33
                            No pony is a very good boy of mine. Everyone from 5yr up down kids to those jumping 3'3 ride him.
                            I am going to talk with her mom about her coming out and spending time with one other girl who is the same age to just hang out and play with the ponies.
                            I just wish that kids weren't so over extended with all the different sports now!

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                            • #34
                              I understand it from a parent's point of view though since horses cost a lot of money and don't have a ton of use in the future. If she's good at soccer or track or volleyball, etc she could get a scholarship to college and/or play professionally. She's gotta figure out what means the most for her though and tell her parents that.

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                              • Original Poster

                                #35
                                Originally posted by kmwines01 View Post
                                I understand it from a parent's point of view though since horses cost a lot of money and don't have a ton of use in the future. If she's good at soccer or track or volleyball, etc she could get a scholarship to college and/or play professionally. She's gotta figure out what means the most for her though and tell her parents that.
                                Yes but it seems that most kids are so over extended they are never really good at any of them. Just OK.

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                                • #36
                                  Not that it should apply to a 12yo but the colleges and iniversities do place alot of pressure on kids to participate in multiple activities. In many cases extra-curricular or lack thereof if as important as academics. I don't agree with the policies but have spoken with several college prep counselors and admissions officers who say it's true. This means that kids need to try out alot of stuff before they narrow down to a sport or two in high school. Then, they have to do things like travel teams etc. It's a huge commitment from a student and as much from their family.
                                  F O.B
                                  Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                                  Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

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                                  • #37
                                    When I was taking lessons as a teen ager, if I ignored the instructions I was given, Id be shown the door and told to come back when I had an attitude adjustment. My teacher had no time for nonsense. If the kid isnt keen to ride and learn, she needs to do something else. Actually sounds like she's spread way too thin, and needs to figure out what she wants to do.

                                    As much as has been said about this generation of kids being......fill in the blank....the same might be said for teachers. It seems parents, and teachers, are letting the kids run the show instead of the other way around. So maybe its not the kids fault they are spoiled and rotten. Spoken from someone with no kids, so take that for what its worth.

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