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Questions about showing with my trainer - advice please

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  • #81
    Wow! Our trainer used to line up another trainer for our daughter to show with if it wasn't "worth her while" to go to the show. We even did some local shows "on our own," with our trainer's blessing. She said our daughter had "no business showing anyway if she couldn't figure out some of the courses, etc." She knew our daughter needed the practice and the more local shows were a good way for our daughter to get experience without a lot of expenses, since we were on the "budget plan." There is no way I would pay hauling expenses when I just bought our own truck and trailer. At times, we would carry another boarder's horse and they would pay all the gas. Wear and tear on our truck and trailer and she just paid gas. That helped both of us. We were fortunate that our trainer allowed us to do this and she still got training fees for both kids. Unless your child is going and grooming in order to "work off the hauling." We had that happen some too. Unfortunately, whatever you decide to do now will set the "tone for the future!" Good luck!

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    • #82
      Originally posted by sammicat View Post
      Thanks for the advice ... you and everyone else are absolutely correct that it is none of my business what is being charged to other people. I was just so shocked by my trainers stand point and rationale that I couldn't help wonder why? She really is normally a very logical and mature trainer so this is just ... well ... disappointing. Oh well ... I'm still trying to decide whether to go or not. There will be other shows.
      When the going gets tough, people grasp at straws to make ends meet. Sounds like trainer is almost bullying you by threatening "If you don't pay my ridiculous trailering fee I guess you won't have a trainer at the show to help you!" And by doing so, trainer is hoping that you'll get suckered into her agreement. All it takes is going without her one time to make it clear that you can't be bullied and that you don't NEED her.

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      • #83
        You're on the right track, Sammicat. I hope everything goes smoothly, and enjoy your new trailer in good health. Have a blast with it. That's why you got it. Keep us posted on how it goes when you break the news you'll be hauling yourself, period.
        "Aye God, Woodrow..."

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        • #84
          OP, you have your own trailer, therefore clearly you haul your own horse.

          If you haul another horse with yours, you should be compensated. At the very least you should be paid for gas, but I have worked out deals where I haul and the other person brings all the food for the weekend, or pays for my hotel room. Or something. If you're hauling your trainer's horse, you should get something off your bill.

          Do not allow yourself to be walked on like this!
          "Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" Sun Tzu, The Art of War
          Rainy
          Stash

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          • #85
            This is why I feel so lucky that I have a great trainer that doesn't even like going to shows. She does have a trainer lined up for us if we would like one, but I really enjoy doing my own thing at shows. Now I just need a trailer! And a truck.

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            • #86
              I read about three pages of this thread.

              I would absolutely trailer MY horse to the show in MY trailer, and attend without the trainer, JUST OUT OF PRINCIPLE. There is no law that says you must do as your trainer says, and it seems that she is trying to decide what you can do with your own horse. Its not your problem that she may not be able to afford to go without shipping your horse...that's her problem, not yours.
              "If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments..."

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              • #87
                I'd haul myself just because all of MY stuff is in MY trailer and I love knowing that MY stuff is exactly where I put it last time.

                There is nothing wrong with hauling yourself and making a few new friends from other barns.

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                • #88
                  Originally posted by sammicat View Post
                  Okay, so I spoke with my trainer today about the upcoming trip and here is the deal:
                  - As mentioned, she wants to do the shipping, her horse and mine. She will not go to the show if I ship because she doesn't make enough money on the per day training fees she will be charging me and needs to augment her earnings with the shipping. The funny thing is ... two people will be riding her horse, but, I'm certain one of the people will be paying nothing and the other person will be paying much less. She said this person can't really afford to pay much. Further, I have my doubts whether she will be charging these people the same training fees for the full trip.

                  I feel a little taken advantage of ... and my DH says "don't go!". Any thoughts ... I like my trainer, and really didn't think that she would do this.
                  So your trainer has a "sliding scale", charges people different amounts, and you are at the top of the charging scale? And unless she charges you $600 to haul she can't afford to go to the show and coach other people for free/less? And she wants you to let another of her students ride your horse basically for free?

                  I would bet that she encouraged you to buy the trailer hoping that when she had more students to take to shows you would haul the overflow from her trailer. And I bet that she would have charged the overflow people for hauling, but not paid you.

                  If you want to stay with this trainer, have a very open and assertive (not aggressive but assertive) discussion about the sliding scale fees and where you fit into subsidizing other riders. Also make it clear that she and her other students are to share the expenses of hauling if you take her horse or her student's horses to shows.

                  If you feel you could find similar quality of training and care with another trainer in your area then look into options, find a place with transparent and fair fees, and LEAVE!

                  Sorry you have to go through this, and glad you are going to the show anyway! Hope you have a good time!

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                  • #89
                    Originally posted by sammicat View Post
                    I feel a little taken advantage of ... and my DH says "don't go!". Any thoughts ... I like my trainer, and really didn't think that she would do this.
                    i have always had a truck and trailer and i found in the past it caused issues. my one trainer was pretty hostile to me taking my horse myself. she wanted the trailering money. and so she wasnt nice to me but kissed ass to other clients who were paying for trailering.
                    i do understand not earning enough money on training fees to go to a show with you without earning the trailering money. i personally would just not go to the show, unless it was something you really wanted to do so badly. then you are going to have to suck it up and pay trailering.
                    i dont get to go to all the shows i want to because i dont pay for trailering whereas other people do because they are forking over alot more money. i did discuss with my current trainer though, that i wasnt getting to the shows i needed to go to, but i understood it wasnt worth her time because she didnt make enough off of me since i didnt pay for trailering. i asked her if i could go with another trainer. and she didnt really want me to, so she adjusted her schedule to have other riders go to the shows i needed to go to. it was great! excellent communication and that is why i couldnt be happier with my trainer!

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