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UPDATE: Would this be enough to make you move barns??

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  • #41
    Yep, I was going to say that your mom is totally "trainable"

    I think its wonderful your mom is getting into riding and that might be another reason why they dont want to move him; she's probably getting a big kick out of riding and may not be able to if he is further away and maybe she doesnt want to say that. I think the more time you invest in teaching your mom proper horse care and what to look for, the better because its a win win! You get to keep your horse, he is close by which will be great on your breaks, and you have someone (mom) checking on him and loving him and learning how to take care of him!


    • #42
      Originally posted by mvp View Post
      But I think you need to stay in charge from afar. That might mean that you put in a call to the farrier after your horse's shoeing appointments. You call your mom and ask about horse's weight and the rest.
      You definitely need to stay in charge from school. There's absolutely no reason why you can't. Put the horse on a regular shoeing schedule. Make the vet/farrier appointments yourself! Talk to your vet via phone/email/text after any visits. Your vet should be able to give you an idea how your horse looks as well.

      You say there is a junior hacking the horse several times a week...enlist his/her help to keep an eye on the horse and stay in touch with him/her weekly in addition to your parents oversight.

      When you have an issue, talk to the trainer, not the grooms. Make sure the trainer KNOWS your on top of your horse's care and you might find some of the neglect will stop. Be a pain in the butt if you need to. You (your parents) are paying a lot of money for the privilege.

      Another option...figure out how to pay your horse's expenses yourself. Then you can move the horse wherever you wish and your parents will no longer have any say in the matter.

      If you can't figure out how to manage the horse's care from a distance, then it would be best to sell/lease the horse and give it a quality life with someone who has the time. It's really selfish to hang on and allow the neglect to continue.


      • #43
        Originally posted by mvp View Post
        Time for momma to step up her game, then!

        I take it you are home for Christmas Break? Fine. She can have a crash course in HO-ing. Teach her what she needs to know and impress upon her that she's the buckstopper-- the one responsible for this nice horse's quality of life.

        Either she does that well, or she starts to see how much responsibility that is and consents to doing something differently. Maybe she becomes your advocate with your dad.

        But I think you need to stay in charge from afar. That might mean that you put in a call to the farrier after your horse's shoeing appointments. You call your mom and ask about horse's weight and the rest.

        When dealing with your mom, you need to present all this detail in a way that's encouraging. Yes, she can learn to pay attention to the details that any HO does. But if it becomes too much of a burden, you also need to give her an "out" that doesn't make her seem like the bad guy or incompetent. The easy solution is the other trainer that you like and trust. She can take that whenever she wants.

        I hope you can find your way with your parents and the horse. Just get busy while you are home, eh?
        I totally agree with this! If your mom wants to be more involved with the horse, then I think you should encourage her to go whole hog! It is a win-win, really. I must admit that this never even occurred to me because my parents' only interest in my horses has been looking at them from as far away as possible, lol. That said, my horses are generally not novice-friendly... Anyway, I think this is a great opportunity for your mom and your horse.


        • #44
          From some of what you said (mom taking lessons, likes to go groom and graze Horse), I think maybe your mom is really enjoying getting into horses, and maybe going out to the barn frequently to check on the horses isn't a burden at all. Moving the horse would likely make it harder for her to enjoy extra horse time outside her once-a-week lesson. It doesn't sound like she grudges the time spent at all (maybe I missed something,though!). I can see why she would resist moving the horse, and also why you are concerned that she doesn't know enough to look out for the horse.

          I agree that a horse-owning bootcamp might resolve things happily for everyone, as well as some long-distance horse managing on your part. Your horse will be cared for and your mom is discovering the same joy in horses that you have.

          P.S. speaking from experience, if your mom LOVES your horse and looks for excuses to be around him, it's much less likely that it will be sold or leased out


          • Original Poster

            Originally posted by Gainer View Post

            If you can't figure out how to manage the horse's care from a distance, then it would be best to sell/lease the horse and give it a quality life with someone who has the time. It's really selfish to hang on and allow the neglect to continue.
            Yeah.. It isn't hasn't happened since the misunderstanding with the feed last year and the farrier the one time, who is actually notorious for not coming out on time. That's partially why keeping up with him doesn't work. He's the best farrier for the job, all the others around really are no good, actually, but he is a PITA when it comes to getting him out on time. Of course almost 5 weeks overdue in incredibly extreme and yes, he heard from me about that, but when I was managing two horses from afar my first year of college, it was like pulling teeth getting him to come out on time. Luckily I have only one to look after now. Mom would NEVER stand for the horse getting too thin again. She was furious as well, she just didn't have enough confidence I think to say anything. Although she has been speaking her mind to the BO lately which is good. She isn't afraid to stand up when she knows what she's talking about. It's getting her to that point that's going to be crucial still though, which is why winter break will be useful.
            She wants to keep him close to the house so she can get to him faster if something were to happen to him, so she says and she likes and trusts the head groom. He wasn't around when all this mess occurred the first time.

            Thanks again guys! Mom's smart and loves the horse (despite the fact that she tells me she's only "riding" him because someone has to.. I don't buy that for a second)... she'll get it figured out.


            • #46
              I think your mom is loving her new hobby/responsibility and will be very trainable!! You should keep her. The horse, too.
              Born under a rock and owned by beasts!


              • #47
                I would suggest getting your Mom "Fit to Show," by Madden and Cooney http://www.amazon.com/Fit-Show-Guide...den+and+cooney as a holiday gift. It's very well written, has plenty of photos and illustrations, and is a very good explanation of horse keeping. I bet your Mom would enjoy it, and it can serve as a reference for her as well.
                We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.


                • Original Poster

                  Originally posted by Lucassb View Post
                  I would suggest getting your Mom "Fit to Show," by Madden and Cooney http://www.amazon.com/Fit-Show-Guide...den+and+cooney as a holiday gift. It's very well written, has plenty of photos and illustrations, and is a very good explanation of horse keeping. I bet your Mom would enjoy it, and it can serve as a reference for her as well.
                  That's an awesome idea.. so it talks about basic horse keeping in general? Not just specific to getting a horse ring ready? Although a lot of that can apply to home as well.


                  • #49
                    The pony club manuals are the best for basic care and riding IMO, very comprehensive. Explain to mom that the horse depends on you like you depended on her for care. If you were in grade school and the teacher wasn't taking care of you, she'd step in, right? Same principle here. She's now responsible for the horse.
                    Somewhere in the world, Jason Miraz is Goodling himself and wondering why "the chronicle of the horse" is a top hit. CaitlinAndTheBay


                    • #50
                      It sounds like you have a plan. If you can teach your mom basic horsekeeping, things may straighten out.

                      That does not, however, absolve you from responsibility for your horse. You really need to stay on top of things and make sure they are done in a timely fashion. If that means firing the farrier and getting one that will show up on a regular schedule, then you need to do it.

                      This is part of horse ownership, so you might as well get used to it. I've owned horses for over 30 years, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices and do things you don't necessarily want to do. All that ultimately matters is the health, safety and happiness of your horse.