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When someone insults your horse - bit of a rant

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  • #41
    Originally posted by Jsalem View Post
    Oh, honey, take it from a Southern girl! If ever there was a perfect occasion for our favorite phrase, here it is:

    Well bless your heart!

    That's it.
    Is that Southern speak for !@#$-off?


    • Original Poster

      You guys are great; I love all the stories. The Jack Russell who pissed on the tire had me in stitches! And I have always needed an opportunity to throw out the Southern 'compliment' "Well, bless your heart". It's was one of those instances where you think later, ah man why didn't I say this or that. I know even those of you in the minority have those moments!). I was so thrown off at the comment while she was cackling, that I just smiled sweetly and started grinding my teeth. Next time that table is flipping over Jersey style. And there won't be a next time as I generally avoid energy suckers. Like many of you have guessed this is a person with a laundry list of other issues, so I do think it was a jealousy based comment.

      As far as the facts that meupatdoes refers to I have never seen this 'hunter' go over more than a cross rail due to the lameness factor and rider ability. Grumpy may have been parroting what our trainer or another rider may have said (which I highly doubt). I will look to my own assessment of my horse and my friend who has decades of riding A circuit hunters who loves him. And it may be true, he may not place well next year but I'm willing to try. And I will win the eq, haha.
      Thanks all for the responses! I just needed to get it off my chest.


      • #43
        Eh. I think everyone thinks their horses are super special and better than every other horse out there. I mean even when we're honest with ourselves, who REALLY goes around out there pointing out all the crappy things about our horses instead of their virtues? I doubt anyone would.

        As for the "friend", I agree to just ignore her if what she said was so offensive. When people say things like that to me, I just try not to get in any conversations with them about their horse, or my horse, or anything besides "oh, the sky is blue today!" or topics along those lines


        • #44
          I don't care what anyone else thinks of my horse, so it would not bother me at all. I think he is awesome and my opinion is the only one that matters! As to your downer friend, I would just be annoyingly positive in her presence. It will drive her batty.


          • #45
            Haven't read the responses - but from someone that hasn't ever owned anything that wasn't an OTTB or an Appy, I would say grow thicker skin!

            And don't hang out with such wet blankets. Life is too short to spend time with people that want to drag you down.

            But seriously, people say crappy stuff - yeah yeah, all my horses were cheap, and "crazy" or "dangerous" when I got them.

            Makes the revenge that much sweeter when you do well at shows - or get the snide - "oh - she only does well because her horse is a packer" - LOVED that one - its the same horse that was crazy and dangerous! Thank you for the huge compliment on my training.

            Good luck to you and your underdog horse!
            APPSOLUTE CHOCKLATE - Photo by Kathy Colman


            • #46
              I know what you mean, yesterday I had a new farrier come out to do my horses, well my young TB mare pulled her hind leg away twice and he starts cursing at her saying "bitch! You want to fight, I'll win this!" I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. Then he proceeded to call my 18 year old paint a dumbass because he swatted a fly off his belly with his hind leg whil he was trimming him. Needless to say, he will never be working in my horses again!


              • #47
                Originally posted by jenm View Post
                She looked at me and said "There is NO WAY I would ever work with your horse. She's clumsy, untalented and unathletic (sic)."
                There is absolutely no need for any trainer to be so cruel, easy enough to say she doesn't think the horse is suitable, and then give her reasons why she feels that way, and you can agree or not agree with her assessment, but it sounds as though this BNT is just plain nasty. And good for you for proving her wrong.

                I don't understand why everyone seems so down on the lame WB, its not his fault he's been out of action and he really has nothing to do with his owner's perceived rudeness.


                • #48
                  I'm an older person and always riding the greenest/rankest horse in any group, doing anything. I have a saying I like to use:

                  "Some folks need made horses, so some folks need to make the horses."

                  In this case, I'd pause and add, for effect,
                  "It's a good thing that what I enjoy about riding is getting out here and riding every day, working hard, and earning it."
                  At all times, we are either training or untraining.
                  Flying Haflinger blog: http://flyinghaflinger.blogspot.com/ Flying Irish Draught blog: http://flyingirishredhead.blogspot.com/


                  • #49
                    Originally posted by Jsalem View Post
                    Oh, honey, take it from a Southern girl! If ever there was a perfect occasion for our favorite phrase, here it is:

                    Well bless your heart!

                    That's it.
                    LOL, that's exactly what I was going to suggest. You just pause, give her the raised eyebrow "I can't believe you said that" look, say, "Well bless your heart!" and then change the subject.
                    "Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything
                    that's even remotely true."

                    Homer Simpson


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by Jsalem View Post
                      Oh, honey, take it from a Southern girl! If ever there was a perfect occasion for our favorite phrase, here it is:

                      Well bless your heart!

                      That's it.
                      Absolutely! I especially love it when non-Southerners don't understand that you've just handed them a pile of flaming dog poo.
                      Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors


                      • #51
                        Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
                        Wait, this silly cow has a warmblood (drop the label "dumb-blood" on her, she'll bristle at that) that is lame 9 mos. of the year? Maybe she's going through withdrawl not being able to ride her speshul horse.

                        Why would you want to insult a horse? The poor horse doesn't know it's a WB or a TB and probably doesn't care.

                        Years ago I had a girl who was jealous of my horse and cut it's tail.... why the heck would anyone take their own human frustration out on an innocent animal?

                        I also have had a lady that owned QH's constantly insult my OTTBs.. I just had a heart to heart with her and stated she wouldn't want me putting down her QH's. If they are a decent human they will understand... if not, then just walk and ignore them. That to me is God's way of weeding people out of your life that are not good for you.

                        If you have issue with this girl and you want to continue a relationship with her you should talk to her. No need to be mean or snarky. We are humans and should be much more sophisticated than that.

                        I think if more people acted in a reasonable manner towards each other the world would definitely be a better place.

                        Let it start with you....
                        Live in the sunshine.
                        Swim in the sea.
                        Drink the wild air.


                        • #52
                          I haven't had people flat-out say something bad about my horse but I have had people be condescending because she's not rideable anymore and I must be crazy to still keep her. Cause you know, she can't just be a pet. I just roll my eyes...she's special to me, and I think she's awesome. So if I'm happy with her that's all that counts. Sounds like your friend was just trying to make herself feel better about her situation...your horse is special to you, it's really not her place to comment on, so I'd just roll my eyes and ignore her.
                          *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


                          • #53
                            I just happened to think I had a trainer that had an unnatural hatred of Appaloosas. I have no idea why. She would rant and rant about them when she'd see one about how horrible they are. I knew a very sweet Appy (outside of her barn, haha) and he was awesome. I guess she just hates spots? Horse people are weird.
                            *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


                            • #54
                              Of course it's okay. It's normal. Your horse is your baby!

                              That being said (and meant!), I am a realist. The last time I looked, hunters were still judged on their form over fences. If you're hoping that your baby will magically pull 8 perfect fences out of his butt when ordinarily he jumps over his shoulders, has uneven knees, hangs, well... I'd probably find a tactful way to say perhaps you were being a tad unrealistic, like saying, "That's a great plan. Are you incorporating a strong gymnastics program in preparation for the show season?"

                              No one likes to hear negative stuff about themselves, their family, or their animals, but it doesn't mean there isn't plenty of constructive criticism to be said.

                              Others have pointed out that your lunch partner is probably dealing with issues of her own and I suspect they're right. You're doing the right thing in letting it be a motivational moment for you. Good luck!
                              ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                              Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                              "Life is merrier with a terrier!"


                              • #55
                                laugh and prove them wrong!


                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by kaluha2 View Post
                                  Next time just flip the lunch table over on her.
                                  This. More often than not, people need to be taught the hard way to either develop a filter, or keep their mouths shut. Clearly her parents never whooped her for being an obnoxious bully, so the task falls to us.

                                  I'm available for a fee...basically, gas and beer money.

                                  It also should be said that a real friend helps you reach your goals, not discourages you from them. With friends like this, who needs enemies?


                                  • #57
                                    Ditch her. She already sounds like a sketchy "friend" and there's no need to say stuff about your horse like that. She's not a judge. She's not a trainer. He's your horse and you love him (or her) and you need someone to build you up not tear you down.

                                    I had a similar friend who I glossed over this type of behavior with because I knew it stemmed from her own insecurities. It got to me, but I liked her friendship outside of the barn so I dealt with it. It would seriously be "How much does Chance weigh? Oh then my horse has to weigh more" but about EVERYTHING. BEcause I knew her before the new (and oddly similar to this post) lame horse I knew it wasn't her normal behavior.

                                    Bless her little heart.

                                    (my Southern translation for ditch the bitch)


                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by SmartAlex View Post
                                      "And you're no equitation rider" (insert loud condescending laugh then sip your wine)


                                      • #59
                                        I always just laugh at people like that. My first horse was a little OTTB, and my barnmates (all of whom owned WBs) laughed at him when I first bought him - until he beat all of them in the hunter ring He may have been a little thoroughbred, but he had very correct conformation, and near perfect form over fences. Really, that's like insulting someone's kid - not cool. Sounds to me like she's insecure, and trying to justify her purchase of a (probably pricey) WB.


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by Petstorejunkie View Post
                                          He who angers you, controls you.

                                          It happens to all of us. I actually keep this funny little book in my tack trunk called "Insults and Comebacks" because I can never think of a good comeback when people do this to me. There are some good one's in there.

                                          The only one I have really ever used is the best one, it's the quintessential Southern comeback...no matter what rude thing someone says to you just look them right in the eye and say: "Well bless your heart!"
                                          "A good horse and a good rider are only so in mutual trust."