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Clients dating grooms?

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  • Clients dating grooms?

    What is everyone's thoughts/views on this? I was told of one client who ended up going to Mexico with her boyfriend and I was interested about people's opinions on things like this happening. If you knew of a client, in the above example a young woman, dating a groom would you say something to them? or the barn owner? or would you leave them alone? etc

  • #2
    Not sure why you would say anything to BO or anyone else, unless it was some weird thing with a teen & adult or something (which happened at one place I used to be).

    Comment


    • #3
      The barn is one place where people meet people. If both parties are consenting adults, I don't see where it's anybody else's business. If you're the BO you may be facing losing either the groom or the client when the breakup comes, however . . .

      I've heard of far more of this surrounding farriers!

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      • Original Poster

        #4
        Originally posted by SwampYankee View Post

        I've heard of far more of this surrounding farriers!

        I knew of a working student from England who ended up dating the farrier, she ended up having to go back due to visa issues.. nevertheless the farrier is still heartbroken

        Comment


        • #5
          Why is this anyone's business? Two consenting adults are permitted to do whatever they please. If the clients are heading to Mexico with the grooms, I'm sure the Barn Owner is well aware of the situation without some busybody third party getting involved. Perhaps the Barn Owner needs to reconsider her hiring techniques and get some more professional staff in the barn? Or perhaps she needs to have a chat with her clients about not fraternizing with barn employees?

          Keep your mouth shut.

          Of course, if one of the involved parties is a minor (and you are a minor, OP, as your username would suggest), tell a responsible adult ASAP.
          Here today, gone tomorrow...

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          • #6
            Advice- when it starts with "I was told..." it is usually best to keep your mouth shut. (caviot- a minor as mentioned). Mind your own business. It may not be true. Than you have made yoursel look like a gossip, pissed off a client, a groom could lose their job and make the barn damn unpleasant.
            Come to the dark side, we have cookies

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            • #7
              Okay, I'll acknowledge the elephant in the room.

              OP, are you asking about this because of the (real or imaginary) difference in class status? The perception that the client is financially privileged and/or better educated than the groom?
              Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.

              Comment


              • #8
                My thoughts/views?

                Mind your own business.

                Comment


                • #9
                  As long as both parties are consenting adults, MYOB.
                  .

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Originally posted by FrenchFrytheEqHorse View Post
                    Why is this anyone's business? Two consenting adults are permitted to do whatever they please. If the clients are heading to Mexico with the grooms, I'm sure the Barn Owner is well aware of the situation without some busybody third party getting involved. Perhaps the Barn Owner needs to reconsider her hiring techniques and get some more professional staff in the barn? Or perhaps she needs to have a chat with her clients about not fraternizing with barn employees?

                    Keep your mouth shut.

                    Of course, if one of the involved parties is a minor (and you are a minor, OP, as your username would suggest), tell a responsible adult ASAP.

                    I am in fact, a legal adult. Thank you for the concern though.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
                      Okay, I'll acknowledge the elephant in the room.

                      OP, are you asking about this because of the (real or imaginary) difference in class status? The perception that the client is financially privileged and/or better educated than the groom?

                      I personally do not like to view one person as better than someone else.

                      And I simply asked this question to gain better insight on such things. Personally, I do not care who is with who. Regardless of finances or 'social class'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ok I will be the one person to say I as the Trainer would not like it. My employee should not date at the end of the day, my boss. As they say don't s**t where you eat. This goes for the trainer letting the groom date the client or the groom who is dating the client. This has nothing to do with class. I would even go as far as some companies to have my grooms sign a thing saying they won't date the clients.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by EquitationDreamer View Post
                          I personally do not like to view one person as better than someone else.

                          And I simply asked this question to gain better insight on such things. Personally, I do not care who is with who. Regardless of finances or 'social class'
                          Thanks. Just clearing the air, so to speak.

                          My answer would be the same as Couture TB's regardless of whether it's a barn or another workplace. I once dated someone I worked with (different divisions in the same department but not a supervisor/supervisee situation). It ended...poorly, shall we say.

                          Conversely, my brother and his now wife worked for the same company when they met, and they continued to work together for several years after they married. It worked for them.

                          A former co-worker of mine wound up dating and marrying a client. But she was a vet tech in a surgical practice, so the clients were "short-term." It wouldn't have affected the business if the relationship didn't work out. In the situation you describe, it could be a little more touchy.

                          I think both parties have to be realistic and mature enough to deal with the possibility of having to see each other/work together if the relationship ends. If I were the trainer, I wouldn't be particularly pleased, because I might lose either the client or the employee if things went south.
                          Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
                            Conversely, my brother and his now wife worked for the same company when they met, and they continued to work together for several years after they married. It worked for them.
                            My brother and his wife did the same, but they worked in completely different areas of the company so if the relationship hadn't worked out they could pretty easily have basically never seen each other again. (In fact, I'm not sure how they even met in the first place. Possibly a mutual friend type thing.)

                            By contrast, barns are much smaller and already pretty prone to Drama as it is. Mixing relationships in with everything else is just asking to make the manure pile grow exponentially. If a relationship already exists then someone like the BO going and saying 'you have to break up' would be pretty bad, imo, because hey, adults. But policies put in place when people are hired or when people come in for training/boarding seem pretty reasonable. Even if it's not really something you can easily enforce, it sets a clear tone of what's considered socially acceptable at that particular barn.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Ok, my reading of the OP's post does not conclusively confirm she or he is associated with the BO or trainer. Nor is it stated that the enamorada (presumably female client) is is a minor. Honestly, WHAT does the OP care? The OP doesn't seem concerned that someone else broke the heart of a farrier. Why is a Mexican groom any different? What business is it of the OP's if a romance is going on!?! I agree it would be different if the "client" were a kid, but absent that, MYOB.
                              Last edited by Surly Sue; Sep. 22, 2012, 04:42 AM.
                              No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #16
                                Thank you Couture TB and Sing Mia Song.

                                Your responses are appreciated and what I was looking for when I first posted the topic.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by EquitationDreamer View Post
                                  Thank you Couture TB and Sing Mia Song.

                                  Your responses are appreciated and what I was looking for when I first posted the topic.
                                  Heck I have told all my students that the owner of the stable, who lives out of the country (DH and I are caretakers and I run my buissness out of it) That their sons are OFF LIMITS!! No dating them. Sorry don't want to loose my happy home and buissness.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    It sounds like a great way to have things get awkward at work or for recreation time, depending on which person, if things go south. Which is why I would not be seeing someone with whom I had a professional relationship, and why I'd give the side-eye to people doing same. But none of my beeswax otherwise.
                                    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                                    Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                                    Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.

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                                    • #19
                                      I certainly wouldn't be thrilled about it and might find it awkward. However, there is nothing illegal or even slightly immoral here, assuming this involves two consenting and otherwise single adults. You can certainly tell your employees and clients that it is not allowed, but you cannot actually stop it. And it's probably easier to dump a client than to fire an employee for this, in most states!

                                      Edit: I'm very much with the MYOB crowd on this one.
                                      Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by EquitationDreamer View Post
                                        I personally do not like to view one person as better than someone else.

                                        And I simply asked this question to gain better insight on such things. Personally, I do not care who is with who. Regardless of finances or 'social class'
                                        Then why even ask the original question in the OP? What's the point?
                                        If you're a grown legal adult, common sense tells you to mind your own beeswax. Who really cares? Not me.
                                        Can we get back to talking and conversing about stuff that really matters in the horse world!??

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