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What Not to Wear- Equestrian Edition

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  • #41
    When you move up to a horse, retire your jods. Please.


    • #42
      I don't do hunter hair personally. I just don't know how to do it. But honestly, with today's helmets, I don't notice people's ears at all. So I just put my hair in a hair net and up in my helmet with no flyaways. i ride jumpers.
      “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
      ¯ Oscar Wilde


      • #43
        Fake hunter hair. If you're hair's too short, you don't HAVE the problem hunter hair is attempting to control (by making you look like a mushroom but that's as may be.) If your haircut wouldn't be out of place on a guy, treat it like they do--you don't see men putting nylons on their heads like they're robbing a bank after their round.

        You can't see it when people have their jackets on, but low-rise breeches that are so low you can see more anyone but your proctologist wants when the coat's off.
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        • #44
          Originally posted by shadytrake View Post
          +100 I HATE the bouncing ponytail on adult ladies. Please leave this to the kids and ponies and their show bows!

          I mean really! You're in a $25,000 Grand Prix with crisp white breeches, a lovely show coat, and a huge ponytail swinging larger than your horse's tail. UGH!
          That is in fact the way the helmet is designed to be worn.


          • #45
            I hate hunter hair, no way could I have something on my ears *shudder*. Plus it's totally U G L Y.

            My hair is currently short, so I just flip up my barely fine-haired 2" pony into my helmet. But should I grow it long again, I will definitely be sporting a neat, tight bun at the bottom of my helmet to show in. Clean, professional, girlie.

            I also hate numbers tied on. The string totally breaks up the clean lines of the jacket/shirt. There's got to be a better way. You can bet I'll be figuring one out
            Last edited by shadowanne; Jun. 10, 2012, 09:14 PM.


            • #46
              this might be strange but what drives me nuts is when girls wear tight breeches and extremely noticeable underwear lines. I know some people cant wear thongs and hate them but i think its so tacky with big bulgy underwear lines
              Weekends are for horse shows
              and Fridays are for lessons


              • #47
                Knit breeches for anything but schooling -- they show every bump and ripple. Bleah.


                • #48
                  Men wearing boxers under breeches!! The man VPL is just fugly and messy, folds of fabric everywhere. Wear tidy whities, guys! Please!

                  At least female VPL is a tidy line around the derriere! (Not that I recommend THAT but I personally prefer a little VPL to a thong riding in places it shouldn't be.)
                  Born under a rock and owned by beasts!


                  • #49
                    Originally posted by shadowanne View Post
                    , I will definitely be sporting a neat, tight bun at the bottom of my helmet to show in. Clean, professional, girlie.
                    bleghhh.. that makes me cringe.. how can people even do that with a Speed Air or CO


                    • #50
                      If you, Junior rider, choose to gauge your ears, please DO NOT wear hot pink gauges the size of a quarter in the hunter ring...hell, anywhere! UGH! No amount of hunter hair is going to hide those big, nasty, gaping, sagging ear lobes. Gag!
                      Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!


                      • #51
                        Pleeease don't wear a halter top when riding.. especially schooling at a show! Not a pretty sight.
                        Life is short, ride the best horse first.


                        • #52
                          Suppose they (whomever) create breeches that have built in underwear...much like a lot of running shorts. Brilliance? I think so, for both men and women. You're welcome, who picks this up.


                          • Original Poster

                            Originally posted by Ace View Post
                            Suppose they (whomever) create breeches that have built in underwear...much like a lot of running shorts. Brilliance? I think so, for both men and women. You're welcome, who picks this up.
                            Yes! Brilliant idea. I can see it now: Tailored Sportsman Trophy Hunter with Built in Underwear!


                            • #54
                              If you wear a hair net, please note that the point of said hair net is to contain hair. As in, all of it. Putting one's hair into said hair net but then leaving a giant ponytail running outside of it with your hair net tucked into the elastic is confusing.
                              “Thoroughbreds are the best. They’re lighter, quicker, and more intelligent.” -George Morris


                              • #55
                                See through breeches. No, I don't need to know that your underwear are striped.

                                I do not like show bows either. Which is one hing that makes eventing difficult or me.

                                What else....poorly fitting show coats. Can't stand those either.


                                • #56
                                  I HATE when you see people in a show coat and shirt in the jumper ring...with the shirt up buttoned (not using their choker). It looks sloppy and unfinished. If you are going to wear a show coat, button your choker. If you want to look relaxed, wear a polo in the jumper ring.


                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by Crazy-Pony View Post
                                    Bows that are bigger than a child's face or that cover the number.
                                    yeah i hate this too


                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by akhunterrider View Post
                                      See through breeches. No, I don't need to know that your underwear are striped.
                                      Or worse... especially in light-colored breeches. Sad to say, I ordered some breeches that fit me nearly perfectly (which is not easy!) and had to return them because even with my SmartSlims on, um, I would have needed to wax.

                                      BTW -- SmartSlims solve the underwear problem! I have the newer ones and find they are super comfy even in hot weather.
                                      You have to have experiences to gain experience.

                                      1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"


                                      • #59
                                        Originally posted by Madeline View Post
                                        Hunter hair.
                                        Have you ever really looked in a mirror? Really, would you do that to yourself if you were not on a horse???
                                        YES. I am all for looking neat, so wear the hairnet and tuck that ponytail up under the helmet, BUT WHY DO WE HAVE TO PRETEND WE DON'T HAVE EARS???


                                        • #60
                                          Camel toes in tooooo tight, ill fitting breeches.
                                          Polos which are too small and therefore show the muffin top.
                                          Men in low rise breeches
                                          Non traditional colors where they don't belong, i.e. neon colored anything and blinged anything. Leave that to the Western pleasure peeps please.
                                          I'm of the GM era and really think traditional is best.
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