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What Not to Wear- Equestrian Edition

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  • #21
    Originally posted by shadytrake View Post
    +100 I HATE the bouncing ponytail on adult ladies. Please leave this to the kids and ponies and their show bows!

    I mean really! You're in a $25,000 Grand Prix with crisp white breeches, a lovely show coat, and a huge ponytail swinging larger than your horse's tail. UGH!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-tD0L18A

    Barn rat for life

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    • #22
      For the love of god, please don't school over big jumps in a scoop-necked shirt so that your boobs are falling out over the top of the jump.

      Several years ago, a rather...buxom woman showed up for our jumper classes in a skin-tight, very low-cut polo shirt. You wouldn't think a polo shirt could possible be risque, but you'd be wrong!
      Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.

      Comment


      • #23
        Hunter hair.
        Have you ever really looked in a mirror? Really, would you do that to yourself if you were not on a horse???
        madeline
        * What you release is what you teach * Don't be distracted by unwanted behavior* Whoever waits the longest is the teacher. Van Hargis

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        • Original Poster

          #24
          Originally posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
          For the love of god, please don't school over big jumps in a scoop-necked shirt so that your boobs are falling out over the top of the jump.

          Several years ago, a rather...buxom woman showed up for our jumper classes in a skin-tight, very low-cut polo shirt. You wouldn't think a polo shirt could possible be risque, but you'd be wrong!
          +10000000000 This needs to stop! I'd rather you jump around in a turtleneck in summer.

          Comment


          • #25
            I hate shadbellies with jods. If you're going to wear a shad, please wear dress boots. And no bows with shads!
            Proud member of the Snort and Blow Clique

            Comment


            • #26
              please match. If you have an off color helmet, please make sure your breeches, shirt, and coat at least somewhat blend.

              Non-traditional color breeches in the hunter ring- so basically anything that isnt tan or rust.

              I usually say "friends dont let friends wear show bows."

              I HATE when people DONT do hunter hair. Ears sticking out, hair messy with fly aways, helmets sitting on top of their head b/c they havent done their hair right make me cringe. I also think boys with long hair should have to wear a hair net.

              I also can't stand when someone's tall boot isnt tall enough for their leg.
              "to each his own..."

              Comment


              • #27
                I just spent 2 hours or more getting your horse ready...

                ...to show and you get on with dirty boots or dirty anything for that matter! Hmmm, isn't the groom supposed to be the only one with the mud cakes? And please do up that ratcatcher and put a choker on - 'specially when you are coatless.

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                • #28
                  I committed this now-hilariously awesome fashion fail as a child:

                  One Does Not show in a sleeveless rat catcher because then one has skin between one's hunt coat cuff and gloves.

                  So, when I outgrew my favorite shirt towards the end of the season (shoulders too broad to crest up) my mother said "We'll just make it sleeveless." I howled about how that Isn't Done. "I'll show skiiiiiiiin!" So, my enterprising mother took off the sleeves, put neat seams in, and cut off the cuffs from the severed sleeves. I showed with this sleeveless shirt and cuffs buttoned around my wrists, so as to not show skin between hunt coat and gloves.

                  The problem with this was the 100-degree day we were permitted to show without hunt coats.
                  "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                  Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                  Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.

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                  • #29
                    yeah men (and women) with short but not super short hair. TIDY IT UP.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Originally posted by SSacky View Post
                      yeah men (and women) with short but not super short hair. TIDY IT UP.
                      I knew a somewhat unconventional girl many years ago who had a pretty much shaved head, EXCEPT- she left tendrils around the bottom so that she could make it look like she had "hunter hair" when she wore her helmet.

                      She was quite a character.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Bows that are bigger than a child's face or that cover the number.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Big bright colored belts, hot colors... please keep them away from the show ring. Someone in the Upperville hunter derby yesterday was wearing a thick HOT PINK belt, and everytime her coat flapped up (which it did over EVERY jump and every few strides), it was blinding and all I could notice. I can't even recall if her round was decent because all I noticed was her belt flashing around in the show ring. I thought it was horribly tacky.

                          Also, I see that those gigantic bows are "in" for the little ones with braids, but they are distracting and way TOO BIG these days. Like hot pink belts, these gigantic bows also take my attention away from what really should be focused on, like the horse and/or rider. This is a horse show, not an accessory show.

                          And if you're going to wear a shad, please don't wear low-rise breeches...it also looks terrible.

                          If you have long hair, put it in your helmet (in a tidy fashion, please).

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Every single thing mentioned here would have gotten you laughed right out of the ring at Fairfield or Ox Ridge even as late as the 80's--if you were allowed IN it to begin with in a rig like that!

                            Wear any foolish thing you like schooling; though even then be aware if it's jiggling fat or too much skin it isn't enhancing the landscape.

                            But in a horse show:
                            Anything that diverts attention away from THE HORSE is doing that entry no favors whatsoever. Ask any judge!

                            A good rule of thumb is, if the riders representing us in the Olympics aren't wearing it, why are you? And show-bows on anyone over the age of 7 are simply absurd!

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Originally posted by MHM View Post
                              I knew a somewhat unconventional girl many years ago who had a pretty much shaved head, EXCEPT- she left tendrils around the bottom so that she could make it look like she had "hunter hair" when she wore her helmet.

                              She was quite a character.
                              Omg THAT is dedication to hunter hair!

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #35
                                Would you say that hot-pink belt would be okay in the jumper ring?

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  No schooling in bikinis and chaps. After 19 years I can STILL not get the sight of a woman schooling at the Middleburg Classic in a black bikini and brown chaps (not that the color of the chaps was what made it SO WRONG). All I could think about was the groom who had to clean that saddle. Just ick ick ick!
                                  ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                                  Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                                  "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

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                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by Kryswyn View Post
                                    No schooling in bikinis and chaps. After 19 years I can STILL not get the sight of a woman schooling at the Middleburg Classic in a black bikini and brown chaps (not that the color of the chaps was what made it SO WRONG). All I could think about was the groom who had to clean that saddle. Just ick ick ick!
                                    Ewwwwwwwww!
                                    Proud member of the Clean Horse, Dirty House Clique! Founder of the Goodbye Fat, Hello Muscle Clique!

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                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by Kryswyn View Post
                                      No schooling in bikinis and chaps. After 19 years I can STILL not get the sight of a woman schooling at the Middleburg Classic in a black bikini and brown chaps (not that the color of the chaps was what made it SO WRONG). All I could think about was the groom who had to clean that saddle. Just ick ick ick!
                                      I remember the story! Also the young gentleman in the skin tight crop top at Upperville awhile back!

                                      I'm against shorter coats, esp if a little covering would be in your best interest. With others on low rise with shads, shads with jods, and planet sized bows on anybody, but those with adult teeth especially
                                      Originally posted by The Saddle
                                      Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by Madeline View Post
                                        Hunter hair.
                                        Have you ever really looked in a mirror? Really, would you do that to yourself if you were not on a horse???

                                        This!! I get more fly ways when I attempt to do hunter hair then when I shove it all up in my helmet. And my helmet still manages to fit perfectly. Hunter hair just looks terrible. So we have ears.. big deal

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by ACSmith View Post
                                          Would you say that hot-pink belt would be okay in the jumper ring?
                                          It is my belief that hot pink and other blindingly colors should be left at home. Or, if your high rise breeches are high enough that your belt cannot be seen if your coat flaps up.

                                          My old trainer wouldn't even permit bright colors when schooling at the barn!


                                          Originally posted by Kryswyn View Post
                                          No schooling in bikinis and chaps. After 19 years I can STILL not get the sight of a woman schooling at the Middleburg Classic in a black bikini and brown chaps (not that the color of the chaps was what made it SO WRONG). All I could think about was the groom who had to clean that saddle. Just ick ick ick!
                                          oh my...I can't even fathom doing that the barn, let along a horse show!!

                                          This reminds me of some of my childhood days when I kept my pony at a best friend's house for one summer. It wasn't unusual for us to literally jump out of the pool, run down to the pastsure and climb on a pony's bare back with a swimsuit on! A good way to get hair on your crotch when you were too young to have any!!!

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