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What does one do in this situation?

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  • Originally posted by findeight View Post
    ...saddle time...
    Apparently "saddle time" means buying a $3k saddle when you don't even have a horse and then complaining that you don't have any money to ride or show...

    And not to continue the whole, uphill both ways in the snow thing, but you know what my first saddle was? A 30 year old (in 1990) Jimmy's 20th century that I got for free because I had to get a big patch put on the huge hole in the seat so my trainer gave it to me from her lesson collection. The whole saddle probably weighed 4 pounds because there was NOTHING to it. It was like a few wooden sticks with some leather tossed on top of them -- and that's EXACTLY what it felt like to sit in. I rode in that saddle for 7 or 8 years until I saved up for a Pessoa Gen Ex that I bought used.

    BTW, I gave that saddle back to my trainer when I bought the Pessoa and I think that it is actually still in the lesson program. I pity the poor child who has to rest her bottom in that saddle.

    Comment


    • Going to stay on the positive here.

      Skittles, what does a part lease on a school horse cost? 3 days a week type where it's a flat rate, you don't have to pay for farrier and vet or board or anything?

      Can you price that out at various barns???? It will take some time and effort but you can do it.

      They can be as low as 400 a month, some even less. 1k can get you almost 3 months part lease many places, folks can pay for the 2 leesons and you can figure out how to get over for a 3rd day of hacking and that would help the heck out of your riding. It's not going to be fancy but you don;t need fancy, you need SADDLE TIME. On anything.

      Try to stay on the half full side instead of the half empty and think about what you CAN do, and you can do alot more then you think. Add up the saddle, the car the boots, the breeches, the helmet...thats a part lease.

      And you don't need any more stuff so you can apply all your money from whatever sources to getting that saddle time. Ask for cash as gifts and work something out with your folks.

      If you stay positive and forward thinking and lose the negative about who is doing better or not liking the horse? they might say something besides Yup, awesome while tuning you out.
      Last edited by findeight; Apr. 19, 2012, 12:16 PM.
      When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

      The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        Originally posted by RugBug View Post
        Thinking that two lessons a week, paid for by your parents, is not enough...IS not appreciating what you are being given. That's what a whole lot of people have been trying to tell you. It's one thing to wish things were different, it's a whole 'nother to throw a temper tantrum and threaten to give up riding because you can't do it on your terms.

        It's like really wanting an iPad and your parents buy a Kindle Fire. You say you appreciate the Kindle Fire, but you threaten to stop using it because no matter how much you try, it's just not an iPad...and you really, really want an iPad.

        It's an ungrateful temper tantrum, plain and simple.

        Now, whether that is normal for your age or maturity level, I can't say. I can say that right now, you are acting like a victim. Stop waiting for people to do for you and get out there and do for yourself. Life doesn't get much easier than what it is in high school/college. Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.
        Did you not read this part "I understand that I am lucky that my parents pay for 2 lessons a week. I never said anything in this whole thread that I didn't appreciate that." I never said anything about being ungrateful all I said was that two lessons a week isn't enough, I understand that some people didn't get any lessons. And I never said anything about my parents having to pay for more lessons a week. The idea is that I would keep my two lessons and find other ways to get more riding done MYSELF. I'm not being ungrateful just because my parents give me two lessons a week and I want to ride more than that. All I said was that yeah I get two lessons a week, yeah I thank my parents for it, but is it ideally how much I would like to ride a week, no. Which is why I once again didn't say I wanted more money from my parents for another lessons, nor do I expect them to get me there.
        Originally posted by SillyHorse
        Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
        This pretty much sums up everything!

        Comment


        • Words and actions are very different things, Skittles. You can say anything you want (it's called giving something "lip service") but what really matters is how you act and what you do.

          You can *say* that you appreciate something all you want, but until you actually ACT like you appreciate it, it doesn't matter.

          I think you lost a lot of us when you told us that you threatened to your parents that you would quit riding. Do you understand how that ACTION doesn't gibe with the WORDS that you are saying right now? How the ACTION of complaining about not getting to jump doesn't gibe with the WORDS about how much you appreciate just being able to ride?

          Actions always speak louder than words.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            Originally posted by findeight View Post
            I really shouldn't... but you lost me.

            How did you save up...what? 3k for the saddle and at least that for a functional car? Why not start applying that income source in a horse fund for more lessons, switching barns, maybe putting a little gas in moms car to entice her to take you to another lesson a week? Or pay for a hack in addition to your lesson when you are already at the barn?

            Your situation with getting more saddle time does not sound that bleak or hopeless if you can get a little more creative.
            I saved by christmas, birthdays, chores I did around the house, selling some stuff. Regardless, Yeah I realize that what I did spend on the saddle and the car might have gotten me more stuff to do with riding. But in the long term it wouldn't have gotten me very far. As a lot of people have mentioned horses are expensive and even an on-farm lease can go $600 a month and upwards and that depends on the horses ability. It could have gotten me more lessons, and more shows too sure. But in the long run especially with the car I would be stuck getting rides from my parents all the time

            That's no fun neither me or them. The car was a good choice that needed to be done and I know it. The saddle could I have lived without it, Maybe. But the truth is the saddle I had before was a 15 year old or older saddle that one of my parents friends wife had in a barn for a long time. It was dry, and creaky and no matter how often I oiled it, it didn't make a difference. So to ride in a saddle that doesn't creak, is a miracle. I probably could have also gotten a cheaper saddle but I know Tad Coffins hold their value for a while, and they are nice saddles so I took the dive.
            Originally posted by SillyHorse
            Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
            This pretty much sums up everything!

            Comment


            • If you can't get more riding time in (or even if you can), you can get fitter and develop your 'riding muscles' by doing exercises targeted for riders. I believe that have been some articles in PH that you can do on your own at home with minimal expense.

              To jump you need to be fit to keep your balance. Especially if you only ride a couple of times a week, you need additional exercise to keep those muscles working.

              Good luck.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                Originally posted by AmmyByNature View Post
                Apparently "saddle time" means buying a $3k saddle when you don't even have a horse and then complaining that you don't have any money to ride or show...

                And not to continue the whole, uphill both ways in the snow thing, but you know what my first saddle was? A 30 year old (in 1990) Jimmy's 20th century that I got for free because I had to get a big patch put on the huge hole in the seat so my trainer gave it to me from her lesson collection. The whole saddle probably weighed 4 pounds because there was NOTHING to it. It was like a few wooden sticks with some leather tossed on top of them -- and that's EXACTLY what it felt like to sit in. I rode in that saddle for 7 or 8 years until I saved up for a Pessoa Gen Ex that I bought used.

                BTW, I gave that saddle back to my trainer when I bought the Pessoa and I think that it is actually still in the lesson program. I pity the poor child who has to rest her bottom in that saddle.
                Like I just said to someone else, yes I could have used this money I used on my saddle for something else horse related. Wouldn't have lasted on a long lease. I definitely am 100% sure I could not purchase a horse with that money. Sure I could have saved to have enough money to actually buy the horse, but never would I ever be able to pay board. Same goes for an off-farm lease. I figured the money wouldn't have gotten very far towards anything else so I bought a saddle. But what I do with my money is my choice.
                Originally posted by SillyHorse
                Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
                This pretty much sums up everything!

                Comment


                • Get a job, save your pennies, thank your lucky stars that you've got parents who will pay for your two lessons a week.

                  Beyond that, ingratiate yourself to your instructor -- ask if you can help around the barn to gain the experience and learn things. Learn how to bandage, feed, muck out, lunge, etc. Spend as much time as you can around the barn soaking up as much knowledge as you can, even if it's only on the days you don't work, and even if that's only one afternoon a week. If your current barn isn't the kind of place that can or will be able to show you "behind the scenes" stuff, call around other local barns and see what your options are. Maybe you'll have to scale back to one lesson per week, but if it's a better lesson, you may go further with it. Just remember to be polite, hardworking, and take any opportunity you can to learn (and remember that with horses, a lot of learning can be done out of the saddle).

                  I'm working through university right now (just finishing my first degree and on to the second), and I do not have a lot of money. I am bringing along a young horse for my coach and have three lessons a week on her because, over the years, I've proven to my coach that I am a hard worker, and we've come to the point where we both feel we're getting something good from this arrangement -- I get lessons, she gets her horse ridden by someone she trusts. Situations like this take time and dedication, and lots of hard work, sweat, and tears.

                  Keep your chin up, and work hard.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by skittlespony View Post
                    But what I do with my money is my choice.
                    And that statement is true with your parent's money too. Thankfully they are nice enough to be willing to spend good chunks of their money on riding for you.

                    Which if they used the same criteria you are using, they would not be spending it on lessons for you.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by skittlespony View Post
                      But what I do with my money is my choice.
                      Agreed. But if you choose to use it on something else and then complain to us that you can't have enough lessons, don't expect anyone to feel bad. You say your old saddle creaked? So what? Most lesson riders don't even have their own saddles. You had your own saddle and you chose to buy a new one. Everyone makes choices and you have to live with them. You don't get to choose one thing and then complain that you don't have something else.

                      Comment


                      • Skittles, do you realize that if you had used the money that you spent on the saddle and car to do a short term, partial lease, you may have improved your riding enough that you would be offered rides on other horses and may have even been able to advance enough in that time that your trainer would have been comfortable allowing you to jump larger jumps?

                        You are right that it is your money, and you can do what you want with it, such as buy an expensive saddle or a car instead of doing a partial lease on a horse. It just seems like nothing is good enough for you, though. You seem to think, "What's the point of leasing if it can only be short term? What's the point of leasing if I won't have enough money to lease something really fancy?"

                        That line of thinking will keep you stuck where you are. The way to progress is to be creative about seizing and creating opportunities - however small - whenever you can.

                        I'm not sure why I continue posting in this thread, as I'm pretty sure you don't read my posts. But this really just struck me as something you should consider.

                        Comment


                        • I'm wondering if Skittlespony displays the same attitude with her trainer as she does to the COTH-ers? That might explain a lot of things if she does.....

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            Originally posted by FineAlready View Post
                            Skittles, do you realize that if you had used the money that you spent on the saddle and car to do a short term, partial lease, you may have improved your riding enough that you would be offered rides on other horses and may have even been able to advance enough in that time that your trainer would have been comfortable allowing you to jump larger jumps?

                            You are right that it is your money, and you can do what you want with it, such as buy an expensive saddle or a car instead of doing a partial lease on a horse. It just seems like nothing is good enough for you, though. You seem to think, "What's the point of leasing if it can only be short term? What's the point of leasing if I won't have enough money to lease something really fancy?"

                            That line of thinking will keep you stuck where you are. The way to progress is to be creative about seizing and creating opportunities - however small - whenever you can.

                            I'm not sure why I continue posting in this thread, as I'm pretty sure you don't read my posts. But this really just struck me as something you should consider.
                            I do read your posts and I appreciate that your taking your time to post. Especially since you are weighing the options and my decisions instead of just telling me how dumb I was to make them in the first place. Yes I do have to consider this. Most likely what my option is looking like is asking if I can work at the barn to earn rides on a certain horse or even whatever is available.
                            Originally posted by SillyHorse
                            Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
                            This pretty much sums up everything!

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by NoobieDoo View Post
                              I'm wondering if Skittlespony displays the same attitude with her trainer as she does to the COTH-ers? That might explain a lot of things if she does.....
                              Very god point.

                              Comment


                              • One suggestion--try to make an appointment with your parents for getting your drivers license. Instead of hoping/waiting for there to be an opening on everybody's schedule, maybe you could forgo another activity that your parents would have otherwise taken you to and instead arrange, in advance, for them to take you to the DMV then. That should be your top priority.

                                It sounds like your main frustration is that this barn has a small number of suitable lesson horses and you have a limited budget for lessons. So when you don't get much out of your lesson, it's really bringing you down because you don't progress. I get that.

                                You're only going to solve that problem by going to another barn. And you can't go to any other barn because they're too far away.

                                You HAVE a car. Go get your license! Don't come back on here until you are coming to tell us that you went and got the damn license.

                                Just kidding, but kind of serious.
                                \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by skittlespony View Post
                                  ...Yeah I realize that what I did spend on the saddle and the car might have gotten me more stuff to do with riding. But in the long term it wouldn't have gotten me very far... even an on-farm lease can go $600 a month and upwards and that depends on the horses ability.
                                  At $600 a month, what you have in that saddle and car would have gotten you 10 months of a lease and a dam sight farther along in your riding then you are now. And you don't need "stuff" you need to ride more.

                                  You are falling into a trap looking at the end goal and ignoring all the little steps you have to take to get to that end goal. Kids do that, but it is holding you BACK from making any progress towards your goal.

                                  Change your focus to take the little steps. Thats what the rest of us did and are trying to get across to you-you have resources but you have to be willing to use them to take the little steps. Not go all negative because you can't get to that end goal right now.
                                  When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                  The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by NoobieDoo View Post
                                    I'm wondering if Skittlespony displays the same attitude with her trainer as she does to the COTH-ers? That might explain a lot of things if she does.....
                                    I don't know about this, but I'll say one thing* for you Skittles: you certainly do have the Trainwreck Touch!




                                    *I have been defending you in this thread; I see that your tone has changed.
                                    2012 goal: learn to ride like a Barn Rat

                                    A helmet saved my life.

                                    Comment


                                    • Skittles, forget the work off lessons at the barn angle, you have done fine doing what you have been doing for money. The lessons are not a problem, you got them already.

                                      Put the money you are saving towards a lease horse or a half lease, even for just the summer.

                                      You can make it work if you really want to ride and be around horses. If you just want the top spot? Not going to work and you will stay miserable.
                                      When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                      The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                      Comment


                                      • wow, just read this whole thread - took awhile! I have nothing to add other than I have never gotten to take 2 lessons a week, must be nice! I am in my late 20s (very late, just turned 29, yikes!), work 50-55 hours a week, and own property and 2 OTTBs, both very talented. I wish I could lesson 2x a week, we'd sure be progressing a lot faster But my only goals are to enjoy them and do the best I can - which I am!

                                        Comment


                                        • Skittles,

                                          I think one of the crucial things for you right now is to have an open discussion with your trainer. You have the absolutely wonderful opportunity to take two lessons a week, and it is a MUST that you take advantage of that opportunity to the fullest! It isn't fair to you to have your lessons taken over by someone else and if you feel that you aren't getting enough out of your lessons, TALK to your trainer! I'm sure she doesn't bite In this way, you can assess if you can in fact grow at this current barn with this current trainer, and your trainer will probably be extremely happy that you are taking an active interest in growing as a rider. If your trainer knows that you are invested in your riding, maybe she will make more of an effort to help you. I've found that if a trainer thinks you don't really care (whether or not you come off like this I have no idea, but just in general) then they won't put in the effort on your behalf.

                                          I have been SO lucky that both of my parents are extremely involved in my riding; maybe if you sat down with your parents and really poured your heart out, told them just how much riding means to you and how much it would mean to you to be able to get advice from them about it, you guys can start to have better conversations. Because your parents are paying for your lessons, if you feel that you are being slighted in them, that's something to tell your parents and get their advice on how to handle the situation.

                                          And Findeight's comment above about focusing on the little steps is spot on. Work to put yourself in the best position possible to get more rides. Talk to your trainer, explain your frustrations about jumping, and maybe she will be able to explain why you aren't jumping as much and/or change your lessons to incorporate more of it. Not that you can take it back now, but I do also agree that spending the money on a half-lease type situation would have really helped you grow as a rider. You said in the long-run it wouldn't get you very far...that CAN'T be the way you think about it! At the end of it you would have been a much stronger, better, and more confident rider, which WILL get you far in the long-run! Prove to others that all you want is to ride; if someone goes away on vacation, see if your trainer and the owner would let you exercise their horse, etc. If you think about it like Findeight said to, in small steps/increments, you will be so much better off in achieving your long-term goal. I know it seems counterintuitive to not focus on the end goal and to instead focus on the little things, but the little things are what will get you to the end.

                                          Use the resources that you have to the fullest, and from personal experience, make sure your parents know JUST how much you appreciate them. Tell them often; they will greatly appreciate it
                                          Michigan State University College of Veterinary Medicine - Class of 2014

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                                          RIP Tall Tales

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