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Moving Barns - Help!!

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  • Moving Barns - Help!!

    To give a little background info: I currently ride at a barn with a trainer who is extremely rude and controlling, bad facilities, and a lot of drama, which is giving me very little reason to ride. I have been riding here for 8 years. Let's call this Barn A.

    I am considering moving my gelding to a different barn in the area, with a nice trainer who is pretty well known, good facilities, and a fun and inviting atmosphere that is also professional at the same time. Let's call this Barn B.

    As previously stated, trainer at Barn A is EXTREMELY controlling and rude. She always has to feel that she is in charge or else she starts firing off at people for no reason. If she knew that I was 'sneaking around' behind her back by planning on moving, she would wring my neck, which is why no one else at Barn A knows that I am moving and why I am posting under an alter.

    So my predicament is this: How do I tell trainer at Barn A that I am leaving? I would like to do this without completely severing relationships with the people at this barn, but I am afraid that is impossible. I am grateful to the trainer at Barn A for getting me to where I am now in my riding, but I simply can't handle boarding there anymore, for numerous reasons.

    I am planning on having trainer from Barn B come to pick my horse up with her trailer, as I don't have a trailer of my own. So... How much notice should I give trainer A that I am leaving? I can't tell her too far in advance or else she'll yell at me and I wont be able to ride until my gelding is at the new barn. Plus, I don't want to be harassed by everyone at Barn A on why I am leaving. However, I feel it would be in poor taste to tell her the day before my horse gets picked up.

    Also, can I get my horse's negative Coggins from the vet without having to get him tested again (he has been tested within the last 3-4 months) or do I have to get that from trainer A? Should I also get his shot record directly from the vet? I have never moved barns before so I don't know any of this!

    Are there any other helpful hints you guys have about moving barns?

    Thanks in advance!

  • #2
    Your vet should have all your shot records, and your coggins on hand. A simple phone call is usually all it takes.

    I hate moving barns, and I've done it a lot. Unfortunately, it usually does involve drama. Generally speaking, you have 2 options:

    1) Have a conversation with your BO about moving, explain your reasons as politely as possible. Tell her that you're looking for a more low-key experience, or simply tell her that you're ready for a change. Give 30 days notice, and suck it up and wait it out.

    2) If you really don't want to give notice that far ahead, then prepare a check for the next 30 days, have a conversation with BO, and move the next day. This may not be the most kosher method, but I've done it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I did it because the drama was SO bad, I knew I couldn't stand to give 30 days. I still got harrassed by the BO, but at least my horses and I were gone.

    Good luck! Remember, horses are a luxury, if it's not enjoyable for whatever reason, make a change! There's no reason you need to be unhappy when you're spending $$$ on your horse hobby.

    Comment


    • #3
      moving is no fun.
      I have had different experiences in moving, some have been no drama at all where I still go out and visit because they totally understood why I need to leave, and an other barn, well, I still haven't really talked to the trainer x amount of years later. aka, major drama.

      it sounds like in your case there will be drama. Do you know of anyone else who has left recently? That might give you a clue.
      Give the trainer 30 days notice and just stick it out, unless you're willing to pay for an other month of board.
      after you do this, dont go around bad mouthing the trainer to boarders, just say youre moving for some neutral reason (like, its a lot closer, cheaper, I just wanted a change after being at the same barn for 8 years, they go to the horse shows I want to go to) leave out the part about why youre really leaving for general barn friends because this spreads like wildfire and next thing you know you said the trainer is an evil controlling witch who abuses horses. That will not help your case and it wont even be your fault.

      Comment


      • #4
        Most boarding contracts require a 30 day notice. I suggest doing it in writing and send it certified mail. You will not be able to control how the barn owner A reacts, heck it sounds like she can hardly control it. I certainly wouldn't allow anyone to speak to me that way, even more so when I am a paying customer. Good luck with your move and I hope that the new barn is the fun yet professional atmosphere you are looking for. Horses are way to expensive for it not to be.
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        • #5
          It's probably not going to be easy, but a letter, with your notice and write something like this...
          "This is my 30 day notice. I will be leaving 1/1/12.

          Thank you for the good care and training of my horse and I. I have enjoyed being a part of the barn and will miss it."

          If anyone asks, you are moving to 1. save money or 2. be closer to home/work/whatever......Kill the trainer with kindness. Lots of compliments and thanks, even if they are ahem fake or just focus on what was good. Ususally bitches have big egos and won't attack the people who dish out compliments.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Thank you all so much for all of the replies!

            I think I am going to go with Liz's second option- give a check for the next 30 days and leave the next day. I'll call the vet a few days in advance and get them to fax his Coggins and shot record to trainer B.

            Does anyone have any general barn moving tips to make things easier?

            Comment


            • #7
              I think that's what I would do too. You can stomach anything for 24 hours...

              Adding my 2 cents to what has already been said - make sure that you take the high road in this. You will undoubtedly get calls, texts, and messages from fellow boarders asking you for the "real" reason that you left. (Come on, give us the dirt). No matter how tempting it would be to unload or share, just continue with the positive. Not only is it the right thing to do, it's refreshing to not engage in trashing. Makes your soul feel so light.

              Good luck.

              Comment


              • #8
                I agree that paying for an overlapping month of board so you can leave when the notice is provided is often money well spent.

                DO make sure you have paid all your bills, and if you can muster it, a small gift with a little note saying you've appreciated your time at that barn is always a nice touch. Doesn't have to be anything major, but a bottle of wine (among adults) or a nice frame, new gloves or something along those lines goes a long way to smoothing a situation like that over.
                **********
                We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
                -PaulaEdwina

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                • #9
                  If you are close to any of your barn mates, don't lose touch!
                  I had friends move barns and then fall off the face of the earth because they were afraid to talk to anyone at the barn. Despite popular belief, we are NOT our trainers and probably understand while you left.
                  Best of luck at the new facility!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    if you plan on moving with the one day option..

                    Start moving your "things" out little by little when nobody is around if possible. At my barn, we all have lockers and it is quite obvious when somebody is leaving. Even though it seems they are leaving under mutual terms, the teens of the barn seem to get nosy and want to ask questions as to why all your stuff is going out to the parking lot so quickly. I'm sure you know to do so already but figured I'd add my share. Honestly, I'd pay my board and move within the week. If your leaving under such hasty conditions you're probably not the only one feeling that way and, therefore, your fellow boarder friends may be equally as understanding.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'd also just politely pay the extra month and go, if you can afford to do so. Once you give notice, it's always uncomfortable and especially so with types like Barn A.

                      If you can, try to pack your things at a quiet time when no one is around. Also, try to schedule the pick up of your horse during a quiet time. The less other people know about what you're doing, the easier it will be for you to go without much fanfare.
                      Proud Member of the "Tidy Rabbit Tinfoil Hat Wearers" clique and the "I'm in my 30's and Hope to be a Good Rider Someday" clique

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                      • #12
                        I was at a drama filled barn with a terrible BO at one time too. It was uncomfortable after I gave notice. I came up when I knew people wouldn't be there but for the most part the BO left me alone but talked behind my back. The usual with her. So happy I left and you will be too!!

                        As for moving tips, start preparing a few weeks in advance. Move stuff out of your tack box a little at a time.

                        On the day of the move get there about 45min before the trailer is due to be there, get your horse ready make sure you do the once over to make sure you didn't forget something. Trailer comes, load the horse and it's off to your lovely new barn!!

                        When you get there, stick around a little bit to see how he settles in. In the meantime you can put all your stuff into your tack box etc..

                        Also if your nervous about moving, have some friends come out and help you on the day of the move. Helps to have some support if your nervous.

                        Good Luck with your move!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by *Liz* View Post


                          2) If you really don't want to give notice that far ahead, then prepare a check for the next 30 days, have a conversation with BO, and move the next day.
                          This! As everyone has said, it's normally customary to give 30 days notice...but in this case, I can totally understand why you don't want to give 30 days notice and wait it out. So paying for the next month in full should help solve that problem a bit.

                          BUT, I would make sure you pay in CASH, not with a cheque if you are going to levae the next day. Is the boarding facility owner also the trainer, or is trainer just working out of the barn? Good lord, this sounds like my first trainer. I wonder if it's the same one. lol
                          www.DaventryEquestrian.com
                          Home of Oldenburg, Westphalian & RPSI approved pony stallion Goldhills Brandysnap
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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Daventry View Post

                            BUT, I would make sure you pay in CASH, not with a cheque if you are going to levae the next day.
                            Good idea in theory, but unless she gives you a receipt (and in her frame of mind, I doubt she'll do it if upset) then you have NO proof of payment if she decides to be really difficult/dishonest. Maybe a money order or cashiers check because I understand Daventry's reasoning, you want the funds readily available and no chance she can say you bounced a check.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              There WILL be drama,so just do it. Pay for the month and GO. Sounds as though they will bad mouth you no matter what, so don't try to sugar coat it.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by ACTAlter View Post
                                I think I am going to go with Liz's second option- give a check for the next 30 days and leave the next day. I'll call the vet a few days in advance and get them to fax his Coggins and shot record to trainer B.

                                Does anyone have any general barn moving tips to make things easier?
                                That's the best bet...and it's too bad you had to stay with trainer A all those years. Nobody is that good, I don't care what you think she taught you. Once you get away, you will see it was not worth the angst and all that hatred is out of place in any service business.

                                24 hours is the max time I would give her...12 would be better. Like present the check and your notice the night before-wouldn't hurt to get a certified check or cash (get a receipt)- so she doesn't try to hold the horse until it clears. Any more time then that, if she is a nasty person at heart? Give her time to get over the surprise...and get even with you for leaving.

                                You know, IME, 95% of BOs and trainers are good people and understand people move. You did not marry them for life, they did not adopt you for life, they do not own you or your horse and there is no long term exclusive contract in place. It's not personal.

                                It's that other 5% that create all the problems. Sad that alot end up with them because they always have a vacancy .

                                When faced with similar situations, I have had another trainer present the check (or cash) for the 30 days and just called to give notice and authorize them to remove the horse about an hour before they arrived with the trailer. Most will do that. Once left notice and the check in the office drop slot late at night and hauled out myself.

                                I would start getting your stuff out of the tack room gradually. You may be locked away from anything that is there after your horse goes so take it out in advance a few things at a time to avoid a confrontation.

                                I'd also not go with the other trainer to pick up the horse.

                                Hopefully, OPs trainer is not one of the extreme types. Good luck to her.

                                Oh, once gone? Be as professional as this trainer is not. DO NOT badmouth...even if it really was bad. Answer any questions honestly but no gossip.
                                When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

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                                • #17
                                  If you know of a time when no one is around, pack your stuff out then. Even in the instances when I left on good terms, it was easier to make the multiple trips back & forth to the car without being bothered. At one barn, I went down when everybody was at a show, it was easier all the way around.

                                  If you have any tack that is being used by others, take some time outside of the barn & make a list of what you have there. Tack has a tendency to disappear when you move.

                                  I would also do the cashier's check & 24 - 48 hour notice.
                                  Visit my Spoonflower shop

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    The number one best reason to leave a barn is to say that you cannot afford it anymore and you found a cheaper place. That is my standard response and no body asks questions. Nothing more needs to be said, you don't have to diss your trainer or make her other students feel uncomfortable.

                                    I have left a few barns and that response has allowed me to keep on good terms with barns and trainers I have left. Good luck, sorry you put up with so much. Horses need to be fun !

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      We moved last spring and it was the best decision ever. I called and stated my reasons for leaving, which they were aware of, and said they would get a call from the new trainer that afternoon. I went out with a check the next morning before the scheduled pickup to pay and found our horse was the only one without hay and in an uncleaned stall. My point is get out right away and pay for the month if that was in your contract or agreement. That trainer badmouthed our horse at every show we crossed pathes, a real jerk. With the new trainer we had the best show season ever and had fun. A groom who also left later told me horror stories that confirmed all my worries. If it is bad enough to leave don't wait, do it.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        The only way to avoid any animosity is really to suck up is to leave say on Dec 1 and hand her a check for Dec board w/ note - sorry I'm leaving. Who does your vet send bills to? You or trainer? Shouldn't matter it's your horse and ultimately you pay for the vets' services - call and ask for a copy of your coggins - don't offer an explanation other than you want to have a copy as well. If trainer hears from vet - tell her it's your horse, your coggins - again who's paying the bills.

                                        As far as maintaining relationships w/ other boarders/clients at Barn A - no doubt they know trainer is rude etc. so they should understand your desire to leave.. true professionalism always comes out when a client leaves a barn...

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