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Spinoff thread: riders with weight issues (in either direction)

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  • Spinoff thread: riders with weight issues (in either direction)

    Copied from the other thread:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by prider80:
    Question for you, Erin (the following is just an honest question...I'm not trying to be rude or start anything, I promise!) Say that we do start up a new thread about eating disorders. Why would it then be inappropriate for us to discuss [someone] as an individual? People discuss individuals all the time...but once it's on a BB, it's inappropriate? I don't really understand why we're making that leap. [She] is a well-known and admired Grand Prix rider. So what's the crime in us discussing her?

    If you'd like me to move my question to its own thread, I'm happy to do so, but I'd really appreciate it (and I'll bet others would as well) if you would explain this on the board.

    Thanks! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    One of our BB mantras is "issues, not individuals." It just seems to make threads less contentious if you talk about a problem in the general sense, rather than talking about ONE person as an example of the problem.

    I'm not saying that discussing any one individual is off-limits... but I don't think it's always a requirement, and that sometimes, the discussion can be just as valuable without making it about one specific person.

    As the weight issue was a tangent to the original thread, I really didn't feel it appropriate to discuss there.

    [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:10 PM.]
  • Original Poster

    #2
    Copied from the other thread:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by prider80:
    Question for you, Erin (the following is just an honest question...I'm not trying to be rude or start anything, I promise!) Say that we do start up a new thread about eating disorders. Why would it then be inappropriate for us to discuss [someone] as an individual? People discuss individuals all the time...but once it's on a BB, it's inappropriate? I don't really understand why we're making that leap. [She] is a well-known and admired Grand Prix rider. So what's the crime in us discussing her?

    If you'd like me to move my question to its own thread, I'm happy to do so, but I'd really appreciate it (and I'll bet others would as well) if you would explain this on the board.

    Thanks! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    One of our BB mantras is "issues, not individuals." It just seems to make threads less contentious if you talk about a problem in the general sense, rather than talking about ONE person as an example of the problem.

    I'm not saying that discussing any one individual is off-limits... but I don't think it's always a requirement, and that sometimes, the discussion can be just as valuable without making it about one specific person.

    As the weight issue was a tangent to the original thread, I really didn't feel it appropriate to discuss there.

    [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:10 PM.]

    Comment


    • #3
      Gotcha, thanks...I agree that the thread about [her] eq was not the right place to discuss the weight issue. Thanks for starting the new thread--I think it's a valuable issue for discussion!

      [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:12 PM.]

      Comment


      • #4
        I think that comments about how horribly thin [someone] looks only serve to damage the cause those posters claim to support. Some people just have thin body types, and none of us have any reason to believe that [she] doesn't naturally fall into that group. I think criticizing her for her natural body shape is not only extremely classless, but also undermines the "positive body message" that people claim to support. Positive body image is not trying to fit your body into a weight that it does not naturally support, it's living healthy and being happy with how you look.

        [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:13 PM.]

        Comment


        • #5
          How can anyone tell anything from that photo except that she looks fantastic atop that wonderful horse! Making speculation about someone you have never even met or only seen is only showing your true colors, boy must there be someone always who has a negative comment to make here about everything . If what is said is known truth fine but speculation is pure and simple vicious gossip, petty gossip seems to run rampant in our sport .
          NO HORSES TO SLAUGHTER CLIQUE
          http://www.cafepress.com/maneshirts

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            I posted some of this on the other thread as well, and will repeat it here...

            Positive body image is great. I can remember as a kid -- up until about my sophomore year of high school -- being so embarrassed to wear shorts because I had toothpick legs. I was (and still am) naturally pretty thin... I was just REALLY thin up until I was 16. Not unheathily so... I was just a stick.

            There's no reason I should have been embarrassed of that, just as there's no reason someone who is naturally of a stockier type should be embarrassed of that.

            Now, obviously, if you are actually overweight, rather than just being of a body type that is not stick-thin, then there are some legitmate health concerns. Likewise, if you are BELOW your natural body weight, there are health concerns.

            It is just as unhealthy to overeat and be slightly overweight as it is to UNDEReat and be underweight. If you eat normal sized meals and you get a healthy amount of exercise, I'd say that whatever weight you are is probably where your body thinks it should be. You should have to starve yourself or stuff yourself to be something different.

            I will say this, though... I had a close friend in college who was anorexic and bulemic. She dropped out of school because of it.

            When I saw her at her wedding a couple of years ago, she looked terrible. She wore a strapless dress that hung on her. She almost passed out during her reception.

            I don't think it's doing her any favors to pretend this isn't an issue. When your shoulder blades jut out over the back of your strapless wedding dress, this is a problem.

            Of course, one of the lovely things about the psychology of an eating disorder is that if you tell someone who has one "Omigod, you are WAY too thin!", that just reinforces the behavior. In their minds, they can never be thin enough.

            I'm a little touchy about this subject because I've dealt with it personally (with regard to trying to help my friend), and I know just how damaging offhand comments can be. But I also know that it's just as damaging to put on a smiling fence and pretend everything is fine, as my friend's family did while picking her up off the floor in the reception hall. "Oh! Hee hee! Too much champagne!" Yeah, right.

            I will say that I think she is a beautiful rider, but she looks as though she is below what her natural and healthy body weight should be. However, if there's a problem, it's her family's to solve, not ours.

            [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:14 PM.]

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              MB Stark, I might have misread the comments on the other thread as far as role-model-type stuff... but I don't think anyone was saying it's an individual's responsibility to "their fans" to maintain a certain body type. It's their responsibility to themselves!

              I think the comment was more directed toward OTHER people holding someone up as an example without acknowledging that there might be unhealthy aspects there. Like, allowing your kid to idolize an NFL player with a drug problem. Sure, admire his football talent, but I would think a parent would also want to make sure the kid knew that using illegal drugs wasn't OK. You definitely wouldn't want your child to idolize THAT aspect of that player's life.

              Likewise, you wouldn't want a child to think that he/she should try to be extremely thin if he/she didn't have that body type naturally.

              [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:14 PM.]

              Comment


              • #8
                I have to agree with whomever said that it shouldn't be acceptable to tell a skinny person how skinny they are when you certainly wouldn't tell a big person that they need to shed a few.
                I got huge when I was having my son and it took me a long time to get rid of it after, I found out it was because of my thyroid and lack of activity. We moved to the farm, I went on meds and I dropped weight like crazy. I now have people asking me if "I am okay" or "Are you eating" or the best one "Are you losing weight safely" Jeez Louise, I eat like a pig, I just needed the thyroid medication to get me back to my fighting weight.

                People can be painfully skinny for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with eating disorders, blessed with genes, illnesses such as graves, etc.
                Facial hair when one is skinny is usually an indicator of an eating disorder or at the very least a deficiency in their diet, and a lack of "the monthly bill"

                A good friend will come bail you out of jail....a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn..we screwed up"
                ~~At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits~~

                Comment


                • #9
                  How would you feel if you came on here and saw people complaining about YOUR weight, and making assumptions about why you weigh what you do? I, too, am a thin person who has been accused of having an eating disorder. It's not fun. And it's not fair that people get berated for making fun of heavier people (which is not right) but it's OK to make fun of skinny people.

                  I know someone who is VERY thin, even gaunt in the face. Some people would think she has an eating disorder. Well, she doesn't have a disorder, she has a dietary health problem in which she can only eat certain foods and not a lot of fat. She can't have anything with any kind of spice or flavoring except salt. When you talk to her about it, she says she wishes she could pig out but she can't. We had a nice dinner one night at which she came, and the hostess made a special dinner for her. We had a broccoli chicken casserole, with cream and cheese, a yummy fruit salad with a dijon/rice vinager dressing and a Danish dessert. The special dinner for my friend was plain boiled chicken and plain steamed broccoli, both with a little salt. Seems cruel, but it truly is how she ALWAYS has to eat.

                  Devilpups
                  You have got to be the WORST Pirate I have ever heard of.
                  Ah, but you HAVE heard of me!
                  Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                  An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am one of those painfully thin people so this topic touches home for me. I hate my weight. It's like from the neck down to my hips, it's all bones. I have a really high metabolism and no matter how hard I try I can't put meat on my bones. I have actually had complete strangers come up to me and ask me if I am anorexic. All my friends know the true me, I scarf down enough food for 3 people at a meal. I don't like any kind of weight prejudice, whether it be against overweight or in this case, underweight people.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      Courtney01, can I ask you something? I'd like to hear your perspective on this.

                      We girls know that there's a fine line between telling a friend she looks wonderful, even if she's perhaps a few pounds overweight, and telling a friend she looks wonderful when she's trying on a pair of pants that make her butt look HUGE!! Friends don't let friends buy clothes that don't look good.

                      I agree that of course it's inappropriate for someone to approach you on the street and ask if you have an eating disorder. But I guess I'm also of the mind that it's not OK to pretend that being horribly underweight is OK, just as it's not OK to pretend that it's OK to be horribly overweight.

                      I'm not really sure I'm expressing this well... I guess I wouldn't go up to someone on the street and say, "Geez, you need to lose 50 pounds," but I think there's a distinction between not criticizing someone and yet not tacitly approving an unhealthy lifestyle.

                      Am I making sense to anyone?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        <gasp> Look at this photo of Chris Kappler

                        http://www.chriskappler.com/

                        I wonder how he can possibly have the energy to get around a Grand Prix course?

                        I don't see anyone running around talking about Mr. Kappler is portraying a poor image to young men and causing them to have poor body images.

                        I know women in their 40's (my aunt for one) who has that body type and can eat like nobody's business. She's also had 3 children.

                        I am one of those "naturally" thin types. When I was a teenager people would always scoff and ask me if I was anorexic, and when I denied being anorexic, they just assumed I was in "denial" and talked about how I *had* to have been anorexic. And people who don't know me are floored when they see how much I can eat. I'm talking I can eat 2 patty melts, 2 servings of french fries, mashed potatoes, a piece of pizza, a salad loaded with cheese and ranch dressing and still have room for ice cream and cookies. People just always assume that I am thin because I am a finicky eater and vice versa.

                        Its not fair to place the blame on people who honestly cannot help their body weight. How can you point your finger at someone and say that they are partially responsible for how young girls feel about their body? Its like telling a big person that its their fault for giving children the image that obesity is OK (ie- Ruben Studdard, he's a big dude and people think its "cool" that hes a big dude, Chris Farley, etc.). I know I would feel like crap if I were semi-high profile or a role model of some sort that I was unethical for being thin... wheres the fruitbat people?

                        Member of the IHSA clique

                        http://community.webshots.com/user/sunshinengcsu

                        [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:15 PM.]

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by devildog87:
                          How would you feel if you came on here and saw people complaining about YOUR weight, and making assumptions about why you weigh what you do? I, too, am a thin person who has been accused of having an eating disorder. It's not fun. And it's not fair that people get berated for making fun of heavier people (which is not right) but it's OK to make fun of skinny people.

                          I know someone who is VERY thin, even gaunt in the face. Some people would think she has an eating disorder. Well, she doesn't have a disorder, she has a dietary health problem in which she can only eat certain foods and not a lot of fat. She can't have anything with any kind of spice or flavoring except salt. When you talk to her about it, she says she wishes she could pig out but she can't. We had a nice dinner one night at which she came, and the hostess made a special dinner for her. We had a broccoli chicken casserole, with cream and cheese, a yummy fruit salad with a dijon/rice vinager dressing and a Danish dessert. The special dinner for my friend was plain boiled chicken and plain steamed broccoli, both with a little salt. Seems cruel, but it truly is how she ALWAYS has to eat.

                          http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/angelgregory87
                          You have got to be the WORST Pirate I have ever heard of.
                          Ah, but you HAVE heard of me!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


                          How would I feel? Well, I probably wouldn't be overjoyed, but if I were a well-known grand prix rider, then I would accept it. Why have we all become so ultra-sensitive that it's not O.K. to talk about stuff like this?

                          When you're in the public eye, people will talk about you. Period. The end. The rhetorical 'How would you feel?' questions don't really have a place here, in my opinion. [A well-known grand prix rider] may not be in the public eye in terms of the GENERAL public, but in the public that is the horse world, especially those of us who show on or follow the A and the Grand Prix circuits, she's as 'public figure' as they get.

                          I'm sorry that you've been hurt by people assuming that you have an eating disorder. But things are just different for people who are well-known. I can remember being at horse shows with my trainer as a junior and being taken aback by [the] appearance ... of other very thin riders on the circuit. It's a legitimate issue in our sport, as in any sport. Public figures with an apparent health problem become topics of discussion just by virtue of the fact that they're well-known. It's not a crime, and it doesn't make us bad people for discussing. it. I'm not saying that anyone should spread rumors or frame hearsay as though it was fact. I'm just saying it's legitimate for discussioin.

                          [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:17 PM.]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Erin:
                            MB Stark, I might have misread the comments on the other thread as far as role-model-type stuff... but I don't think anyone was saying it's an individual's responsibility to "their fans" to maintain a certain body type. It's their responsibility to themselves!

                            I think the comment was more directed toward OTHER people holding someone up as an example without acknowledging that there might be unhealthy aspects there. Like, allowing your kid to idolize an NFL player with a drug problem. Sure, admire his football talent, but I would think a parent would also want to make sure the kid knew that using illegal drugs wasn't OK. You definitely wouldn't want your child to idolize THAT aspect of that player's life.

                            <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            This was what was said. I am not sure how to read it .

                            Coreene, generally speaking, I agree with you. She does not have a responsibility per se, but IMO one has to consider her fans...young, teenage girls in particular, who may already be concerned with weight/body image issues, and then think about what [her] appearance translates to them: If SHE is super-skinny and winning grands prix, that's a further affirmation to them that super-skinny=cool, good, whatever

                            I don't think [a rider] has to consider her fans when dealing witht this issue.

                            [This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 15, 2004 at 05:18 PM.]

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Erin:
                              Courtney01, can I ask you something? I'd like to hear your perspective on this.

                              We girls know that there's a fine line between telling a friend she looks wonderful, even if she's perhaps a few pounds overweight, and telling a friend she looks wonderful when she's trying on a pair of pants that make her butt look HUGE!! Friends don't let friends buy clothes that don't look good.

                              I agree that of course it's inappropriate for someone to approach you on the street and ask if you have an eating disorder. But I guess I'm also of the mind that it's not OK to pretend that being horribly underweight is OK, just as it's not OK to pretend that it's OK to be horribly overweight.

                              I'm not really sure I'm expressing this well... I guess I wouldn't go up to someone on the street and say, "Geez, you need to lose 50 pounds," but I think there's a distinction between not criticizing someone and yet not tacitly approving an unhealthy lifestyle.

                              Am I making sense to anyone? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              Makes sense to me! It's an interesting double standard in our society...obesity is the last acceptable prejudice.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I too was extrememly skinny when I was younger. Erin, I can relate to your embarrasment about wearing shorts - I HATED my long, skinny toothpick legs when I was a teenager, and covered them up at all costs. I was one of those who ate like a pig - anything I wanted and lots of it! - but just couldn't gain weight. It drove me crazy when people asked if I had an eating disorder. About the only place I felt comfortable about my weight was in the equitation ring, where my build was considered perfect...I'm sure there are plenty of skinny riders out there who don't binge and purge to get that way, just as there are many overweight riders that eat like birds and have slower metabolisms.

                                Now that I am older, my metabolism has become more "normal". In fact, at 5'11" and 170 I could stand to lose about 20 pounds!
                                Ristra Ranch Equestrian Jewelry

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  I am overweight and I sure know it... I don't need anyone pointing it out to me. However, as a friend, being supportive of a healthy lifestyle is very different. I've been on weight watchers and have lost about 1/2 the total weight I need to get off so far, so I'm doing something. But rather than have someone tell me I look fat(or sticklike for others) in some clothes.. I wish folks would express it differently... Like you would look better in circle skirts, or another style might be better suited to your body type. Then if they see me on the sidelines eating the big C (chocolate) they might, for instance, offer me some of their fruit for a snack or something like that. Supportive, not put down. Kind of hard I know, but usually on either side folks are way touchy about weight, I have never heard of anyone who thinks they are at a good weight. So lets all support healthy eating

                                  Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina!
                                  Sweet home

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I think people who are overweight who complain or comment on someone being thin just hate the fact that the thin person is just that..thinner than them.

                                    It has always amazed me how people think it is OK so say, "Wow, you are so skinny." I want to say back to them, "Wow, you are so fat." If being thin isn't a 'positive body image' by our fat society's standards then why is it considered OK or a compliment to say "Wow, you're skinny."

                                    Since more people are fat in the US than thin, seems to me it should be quite normal for me to respond, "You're fat."

                                    People who are overweight should really worry more about what they are eating and clogging their arteries with rather than what those of us who are thin are eating.

                                    Put the fries, the sugar, the sodas and the pizza down and then come talk to me.

                                    `````````````````````````````````````````
                                    "I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."
                                    Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information

                                    "Life ain't certain...ride your best horse first." Unknown

                                    "If you have the time, spend it. If you have a hand, lend it. If you have the money, give it. If you have a heart, share it." by me

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Don't forget that thin people still have to worry about clogging their arteries... being thin isn't the cure all end all for not clogging arteries if you are naturally thin.

                                      My b/f's lil bro is pushing 6' and weighs 135 on a heavy day and has high cholesterol.

                                      Member of the IHSA clique

                                      http://community.webshots.com/user/sunshinengcsu

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anyplace Farm:
                                        I think people who are overweight who complain or comment on someone being thin just hate the fact that the thin person is just that..thinner than them.

                                        It has always amazed me how people think it is OK so say, "Wow, you are so skinny." I want to say back to them, "Wow, you are so fat." If being thin isn't a 'positive body image' by our fat society's standards then why is it considered OK or a compliment to say "Wow, you're skinny."

                                        Since more people are fat in the US than thin, seems to me it should be quite normal for me to respond, "You're fat."

                                        People who are overweight should really worry more about what they are eating and clogging their arteries with rather than what those of us who are thin are eating.

                                        Put the fries, the sugar, the sodas and the pizza down and then come talk to me.

                                        `````````````````````````````````````````
                                        "I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."
                                        Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information

                                        "Life ain't certain...ride your best horse first." Unknown
                                        <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        It's a good point--and a real double standard...

                                        Comment

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