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ISO My Equine Princess

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  • ISO My Equine Princess

    Recently a team member of mine broke up with her long term boyfriend. We were joking around about finding her a guy on craigslist and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to write this. I must say he did a great job

    I thought you all would enjoy.... http://orlando.craigslist.org/m4w/2674364560.html

  • #2
    absolutely HILARIOUS!!! thanks for sharing!

    Comment


    • #3
      TOO Funny! Made my day

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      • #4
        Love this! Thanks for sharing!

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        • #5
          Hysterical!!!!!!
          http://ridingthroughthefear.blogspot.com/
          www.facebook.com/ThaliaFarm

          Comment


          • #6
            It's been flagged for removal! As a newly single girl myself, I demand you post it here, stat!
            "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              I can still see it, but in case it is removed.... Enjoy

              -------------------------------------------------------------

              Hello ladies. First off, this post isn't going to be for everyone. I have a very specific type of gal in mind...most of you simply won't make your way into my stable.

              I'm looking for the equine princess I've always dreamed of meeting. Someone who loves horses as much as they love life. If the idea of strolling through a grassy pasture together...me in my half chaps, you in your breeches and zip-up Ariat tall-ies...makes you tingle, then you just might be "the one".

              About my dream gal: You should be between 16.5 and 18 hands with olive skin and a dark, flowing, mane. Preferably a good mover with above average conformation. My ideal mare would also have supple, pouting breasts and firm thighs. I need you to be my show pony when we're out on the town and my snuggle bunny when we're back at the corral. Good communication skill are a must. Oh, and you have to love to laugh.

              My lucky lady should also respond well to neck reining using her pony tails (I won't just pull on your hair for grooming...if you know what I mean . I want the other cowboys to be jealous of my sexy mount!

              About me: I'm 17.75 hands with a thick neck and great feet. Most men are envious of my blood lines. I like to take long moonlit rides on the beach. My grooming standards are impeccable and I take daily baths (nice clean sheath too . Non-smoker and occasional binge drinker. They call me "night train" when I get liquored up...so we probably shouldn't do that on the first date. I like to nibble on my partners back and legs. I write poetry...but you probably already figured that out if you've read this far.

              Sound interesting? Drop me a line....let's see where this goes. I want to be the Charles to your Owens. I want you to be the Buster of my Thrush (although I have great feet, just a metaphor). Let's put some spark in our electric fence. I'll ride you hard (always with a saddle) but would never dream of putting you away wet. Come see for yourself.

              Okay dream girl, I'm waiting for you. I'm going to keep hitting "refresh" on my inbox all night; waiting for your sweet words to hand-gallop towards my email address.

              PS - I'm great at fixing hair

              UPDATE: I've had a few people write me who don't think I'm serious. Please don't be so insensitive. You might think you're just poking fun....but in reality you're being a dream slayer...not the good kind that rides in on a beautiful white horse and slays nightmares though...the nasty kind of dream slayer that loafs in on a grey mule and makes you wake up just as you're about to be set loose in an apple orchard. If you're not interested in my alfalfa fields, just keep on trotting by. No need to drop a load of poo in my feed bucket.

              A few others have emailed me asking to know more about what I'm packing in my sheath. Well, let's just say it's ample and never seems to disappoint. You'll have to see for yourself. I won't be sending any pictures of it though...we need to bond on an emotional level first. Thanks again for reading, I look forward to ringing the Bell in your Boots once we become soul mates.
              -Nicker Nicker...peace out

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              • #8
                That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!

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                • #9
                  OMG Trilogy, your bf is a RIOT!! Great job!

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                  • #10
                    "I want to be the Charles to your Owens"
                    BEST LINE EVER.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Is it sad I want to repost this myself just to see some hilarious responses? Oh, I definitely need a picker-upper.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ROTFL. the buster of my thrush lol.
                        "Sadly, some people's greatest skill, is being an idiot". (facebook profile pic I saw).

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Wait — does he have a Live Foal Guarantee?
                          "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            lmfao I love the "Charles to your Owens" part.

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              Originally posted by InWhyCee Redux View Post
                              Wait — does he have a Live Foal Guarantee?
                              Haha! Great question!

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                ROFL - LOVING it
                                Crayola Posse~ on the bus in Mahognany

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  OMG I love that. Literally had me rolling! I wish my boyfriend even knew what half of the references were!
                                  Equestrian At Hart - A blog about adventures in bringing along a young TB mare and a 2016 Big Star filly

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                                  • #18
                                    HILARIOUS! charles to my owens.. perfect

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                                    • #19
                                      That was great! Thanks for posting
                                      ::Karley::

                                      Henry (House of Fortuny) 7 yr old OTTB
                                      http://dondeestahenry.blogspot.com/

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        ROFL!!! Love it! Going to pass this along to a couple of my horsey friends.

                                        P.
                                        A Wandering Albertan - NEW Africa travel blog!

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