• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

ISO My Equine Princess

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ISO My Equine Princess

    Recently a team member of mine broke up with her long term boyfriend. We were joking around about finding her a guy on craigslist and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to write this. I must say he did a great job

    I thought you all would enjoy.... http://orlando.craigslist.org/m4w/2674364560.html

  • #2
    absolutely HILARIOUS!!! thanks for sharing!


    • #3
      TOO Funny! Made my day


      • #4
        Love this! Thanks for sharing!


        • #5


          • #6
            It's been flagged for removal! As a newly single girl myself, I demand you post it here, stat!
            "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."


            • Original Poster

              I can still see it, but in case it is removed.... Enjoy


              Hello ladies. First off, this post isn't going to be for everyone. I have a very specific type of gal in mind...most of you simply won't make your way into my stable.

              I'm looking for the equine princess I've always dreamed of meeting. Someone who loves horses as much as they love life. If the idea of strolling through a grassy pasture together...me in my half chaps, you in your breeches and zip-up Ariat tall-ies...makes you tingle, then you just might be "the one".

              About my dream gal: You should be between 16.5 and 18 hands with olive skin and a dark, flowing, mane. Preferably a good mover with above average conformation. My ideal mare would also have supple, pouting breasts and firm thighs. I need you to be my show pony when we're out on the town and my snuggle bunny when we're back at the corral. Good communication skill are a must. Oh, and you have to love to laugh.

              My lucky lady should also respond well to neck reining using her pony tails (I won't just pull on your hair for grooming...if you know what I mean . I want the other cowboys to be jealous of my sexy mount!

              About me: I'm 17.75 hands with a thick neck and great feet. Most men are envious of my blood lines. I like to take long moonlit rides on the beach. My grooming standards are impeccable and I take daily baths (nice clean sheath too . Non-smoker and occasional binge drinker. They call me "night train" when I get liquored up...so we probably shouldn't do that on the first date. I like to nibble on my partners back and legs. I write poetry...but you probably already figured that out if you've read this far.

              Sound interesting? Drop me a line....let's see where this goes. I want to be the Charles to your Owens. I want you to be the Buster of my Thrush (although I have great feet, just a metaphor). Let's put some spark in our electric fence. I'll ride you hard (always with a saddle) but would never dream of putting you away wet. Come see for yourself.

              Okay dream girl, I'm waiting for you. I'm going to keep hitting "refresh" on my inbox all night; waiting for your sweet words to hand-gallop towards my email address.

              PS - I'm great at fixing hair

              UPDATE: I've had a few people write me who don't think I'm serious. Please don't be so insensitive. You might think you're just poking fun....but in reality you're being a dream slayer...not the good kind that rides in on a beautiful white horse and slays nightmares though...the nasty kind of dream slayer that loafs in on a grey mule and makes you wake up just as you're about to be set loose in an apple orchard. If you're not interested in my alfalfa fields, just keep on trotting by. No need to drop a load of poo in my feed bucket.

              A few others have emailed me asking to know more about what I'm packing in my sheath. Well, let's just say it's ample and never seems to disappoint. You'll have to see for yourself. I won't be sending any pictures of it though...we need to bond on an emotional level first. Thanks again for reading, I look forward to ringing the Bell in your Boots once we become soul mates.
              -Nicker Nicker...peace out


              • #8
                That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!


                • #9
                  OMG Trilogy, your bf is a RIOT!! Great job!


                  • #10
                    "I want to be the Charles to your Owens"
                    BEST LINE EVER.


                    • #11
                      Is it sad I want to repost this myself just to see some hilarious responses? Oh, I definitely need a picker-upper.


                      • #12
                        ROTFL. the buster of my thrush lol.
                        "Sadly, some people's greatest skill, is being an idiot". (facebook profile pic I saw).


                        • #13
                          Wait — does he have a Live Foal Guarantee?
                          "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."


                          • #14
                            lmfao I love the "Charles to your Owens" part.


                            • Original Poster

                              Originally posted by InWhyCee Redux View Post
                              Wait — does he have a Live Foal Guarantee?
                              Haha! Great question!


                              • #16
                                ROFL - LOVING it
                                Crayola Posse~ on the bus in Mahognany


                                • #17
                                  OMG I love that. Literally had me rolling! I wish my boyfriend even knew what half of the references were!


                                  • #18
                                    HILARIOUS! charles to my owens.. perfect


                                    • #19
                                      That was great! Thanks for posting

                                      Henry (House of Fortuny) 7 yr old OTTB


                                      • #20
                                        ROFL!!! Love it! Going to pass this along to a couple of my horsey friends.

                                        A Wandering Albertan - NEW Africa travel blog!