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Dear Former Trainer:

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  • Dear Former Trainer:

    Dear Former Trainer,

    When I saw you this weekend at the horse show I was hopeful that we'd have at least some sort of "hey how you doing? good to see you!" moment.

    But instead you acted like you didn't see me and then when you came so close I could have reached out and touched you from where I was sitting and I said "Hi XYZ. How are you?" You said "Hi, Good." And then you walked away.

    Then your current customers came up and said hello to me and gave me hugs and we all chit chatted and it was fun. Did that bother you?

    I feel bad for you that you're such a schmuck and you're so socially retarded.

    It may behoove you to be a little friendly to people; especially someone like me who could send customers your way or put in a good word for you on occassion, but that doesn't seem to even cross your mind.

    I hope your business is going well and that it's all sunshine and roses.

    Best Wishes to you...

    KC and the Sunshine Band!

  • #2
    You aren't alone.
    Actually your post sounded so familiar that I had to look to make sure I didn't write it.
    But really, if they weren't friendly to you when you were paying them, why should they be now, right?
    (don't ask me how I know
    "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin


    • #3
      Don't feel bad... I tried to keep tabs with mine... she was 3 rings away and said she was too busy to come over and say hi. I told her I'd come over... she said "I'm too busy to chit-chat". I proceeded to watch her (from the back of my investment pony that I was eager to show her) sit there for like 10 mins BSing with some parents and other trainers before actually taking her kid to the schooling ring.
      Thanks...... I appreciate you having common courtesy for someone who was loyal to you for years and had to leave bc of relocation. It just goes to show you that some people just aren't worth the hassle.

      Don't sweat it... be confidant in your decision and know that you're the bigger person.

      Thanks for the humorous open letter!


      • #4


        • #5
          Dear Former Trainer
          Because I realize I live in a very small horse community and would always prefer to take the high road

          1. I will always seek you out to say "hi" and go with the "kill them with niceness" approach
          2. I respect that fact that just because you and I are "divorced" that does not mean we cannot be civil to each other.
          3. I will not talk negatively about you to any one other than my husband.
          4. I will send clients to you if I think they will fit your program. Just because I did not fit your program that does not mean someone else won't.
          5. I will continue to support your current clients (who are my friends) in their horse endeavors.
          6. I will let "it" go because it takes so much more effort to hold a grudge than it does to be free.


          • #6
            Dear most recent former trainer:

            I miss you tons, and I wish you didn't have such terrible luck
            I'm still trying to find a replacement, and it is certainly hard to find someone that can fill your shoes

            dear another former trainer:
            so when i see you at horse shows, and you go out of your way to be overly nice and then make snarky comments about me when i am walking away, you might want to realize I have ears and I welcome you to say what you think to my face!

            Blitz <3 & Leap of Faith <3


            • #7
              Dear former trainer,

              You taught me every week from the time I was 8 until I was about 13. You knew how horse obsessed I was, and how badly I longed for a horse of my own, or even just the ability to spend more time at the barn. You saw how thrilled I was when I was able to spend some extra time helping you with chores (for free, of course). I never once talked back to you, even when you made me cry over petty mistakes like missing a spec of sawdust in my horse's tail or accidentally using the wrong brushing boots. I never once complained when I didn't get to ride the horse I wanted or do the exercises I wanted. That's more than I can say for 99% of your other students (adults included).

              I couldn't have made it clearer to you that I had to stop riding not because I wanted to, or didn't like you, but because my father (who was the only one supporting my riding and driving me to the barn) was moving across the country and I couldn't get to the barn by myself.

              Why did you then suddenly treat me as if I were worthless to you? Why did you give me the cold shoulder when I got older and got my driver's license and went to visit the barn where you worked to say hello? Why couldn't you at least have mustered up a phony, "Gee, that's too bad, I'll miss you!"

              I've now found a better trainer - one who is actually NICE to me. But thank you for teaching me that it's just not worth it to put up with a teacher who doesn't treat you with respect.

              I hope some day you regret being so unkind to the little girl who idolized you!


              Your grown-up-now student


              • #8
                Dear former barn owner, wished you were my trainer:

                I enjoy how you are very friendly to me to my face at shows, and then you turn around behind a screen name and post nasty things about me on the internet.

                p.s. I know it's you, and when I saw you at a show yesterday, I wanted to tell you what I now think of you, but I chose the high road.


                • #9
                  HAHAHA I LOVE THIS.

                  Dear former acquaintance,

                  thanks for calling my mid 5 figure hunter an ugly, long necked, leggy giraffe. I know everything you say about me because I have ears everywhere who text me in a second. It amazes me you continue to talk smack about local horse people and parents after having been repremanded about it many times prior. ALSO, I think it's real professional and grown up of you to send me MYSPACE MESSAGES complaining about how I am a horrible person and talk crap about your farm and business (which might I add I have never done). In addition to all of this, I hope you get your issues under control and become a bigger, more mature, and classy person. Maybe your venturing out to a larger horse world will open your eyes and make you realize, you don't know how to train horses or riders. Have fun, and don't drink too many handles in the future (only to cancel your lessons the next morning because you're still drunk).

                  See you when you get back from your trip,


                  p.s stop sucking face with and caressing your boyfriend at horse shows. No one cares that you can attract a manbearpig.

                  "If you're dating a guy who rides horses, Raise your cup. If not, Raise your standards."


                  • #10
                    This Thread

                    OMG ..... This is sooo therapudic .... it feels so good!!!!


                    • #11
                      Ummm sounds like some people need to either stuff thier face into a box of kleenex til they grow up or stop stalking people.


                      • #12
                        bt, can you elaborate? I don't understand your response.
                        Stoneybrook Farm Afton TN


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by bt View Post
                          Ummm sounds like some people need to either stuff thier face into a box of kleenex til they grow up or stop stalking people.
                          Maybe, maybe not...

                          IMHO when there are a number of similar stories/experiences there is usually some merit to the comments
                          Last edited by justathought; Jun. 9, 2008, 06:11 PM. Reason: correct typo


                          • Original Poster

                            Originally posted by bt View Post
                            Ummm sounds like some people need to either stuff thier face into a box of kleenex til they grow up or stop stalking people.

                            Do you think I was out of line to have said "hello" to someone I spent 2 years riding with? Was that stalking?


                            • #15
                              Sadly, trainers expect loyalty and that you never leave them. If you do, they will treat you like you don't exsist. Seen it too often with my trainer.


                              • #16
                                Dear Former Client,
                                Maybe I really DON'T care. Really. Some customers make you happy coming and some make you happy going but they all eventually make you happy. Why pretend? For social graces' sake? Not worth the energy. Small world and we will see each other around the grounds but no need to give me the fake "hi how are you?". Just let it go. I have.
                                Former Trainer
                                The thing about smart people, is they look like crazy people, to dumb people.


                                • #17
                                  Dear Former Trainer,

                                  I enjoy seeing you whispering to your "new" most promising childrens rider. And I love hearing all these wonderful things you say about me, my new trainer and my temporary horse from my "sources". I love how the horse that I was the "only one" that couldn't ride, got tried by 5 people and returned everytime b/c he would have random spooking/ bucking moments. Lastly, im missing recieving random 5,000$ "extra" charges.

                                  Yours Truly.


                                  • #18

                                    From a trainer's standpoint, I think that the above sort of sums it up....too bad, as I have cared more than she knows. Or didn't my check's clearing every month make a difference to "her".... Somehow, I think that, unfortunately, my payments mean more to her than my caring did. Silly me.


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by Jumphigh83 View Post
                                      Dear Former Client,
                                      Maybe I really DON'T care. Really. Some customers make you happy coming and some make you happy going but they all eventually make you happy. Why pretend? For social graces' sake? Not worth the energy. Small world and we will see each other around the grounds but no need to give me the fake "hi how are you?". Just let it go. I have.
                                      Former Trainer
                                      Your response, while it may be honest, is depressing. There are lots of reasons that people make changes or move on... and a number of them have absolutely nothing to do with their satisfaction with the relationship they have or the quality of services they receive. No need to assume that the "hi" is fake when it may in fact be quite genuine. \

                                      Even when the relationship may have been unsatisfactory - either to you or the client - there is EVERY reason to be cordial and polite - starting with the fact that simple professional behavior demands it. Beyond that, it is all of us are role models for the kids coming up (whether we be parents, children, trainers or clients)- we are teaching them sportmanship and courtesy. Being polite IS part of that training. So is learning that things may change - whether by choice or not - and that change can be habdled with grace.

                                      Just my two cents


                                      • Original Poster

                                        Originally posted by Jumphigh83 View Post
                                        Dear Former Client,
                                        Maybe I really DON'T care. Really. Some customers make you happy coming and some make you happy going but they all eventually make you happy. Why pretend? For social graces' sake? Not worth the energy. Small world and we will see each other around the grounds but no need to give me the fake "hi how are you?". Just let it go. I have.
                                        Former Trainer
                                        REALLY? Damn. I meant it when I said I was hoping that we could be friendly, it's been over a year since I left. I've never had a former trainer snub me like that. It's that person's problem, not mine, that they can't act nice... perhaps that's part of the reason they only have a few customers left? Nice goes a long way.