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Dear Former Trainer:

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  • #41
    I think what I have said may have been misinterpreted, by my own fault. Please don't get me wrong. I am very nice and courteous to current and former clients. I always go up to former clients and talk with them at the shows, ask how they are doing, how's their horses etc...I feel as though I am very professional always, as I do realize that the horse world is small. I know trainers who treat former clients poorly and I don't agree with it. I think there's worse things in the world than someone not saying "hi" to me, but I guess some people really get upset about that type of thing. My only beef is when clients try to intertwine me into their personal lives. Like I mentioned before, I'm not interested in the hour long story as to why daughter can't ride tonight, just come to the lesson or cancel...period. Horses are expensive, there are no hidden fees in my program, so don't wine to me about expense. The list is endless really.


    • #42
      I dont think anyone expects their former trainers to run across the show grounds to hug and kiss them and ask how they are doing. But when you pass within 20 feet or so a smile and Hey how are you or some polite greeting is much more professional than trying to act like you don't see us.
      We all understand that you (trainers) are working at the show, it's your job, not your recreation like it is for us, and you have people paying for your time. But a simple "Hi" or
      "Your horse looks good" at the ingate is always polite and appreciated. And others notice it too.
      "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin


      • #43
        Originally posted by tidy rabbit View Post
        Good thing you're not a sales rep! LOL

        Doesn't it ever occur to trainers that someone may be thinking of sending them a referral or even thinking of coming back? Wouldn't a smile and a "hey good to see you" go a long way in terms of building future business and thus more revenue?
        NO KIDDING!!!!

        I have to say I'm a bit apalled....and especially amused by the "anon" trainer who doesn't have the guts to show everyone what a lovely person he/she really is

        I guess people don't realize that word of mouth really is strong in the horse world. MANY TIMES I have recommended former trainers. Believe it or not, not everyone leaves because they are trying to find something better. Some of us move, get new jobs, etc etc and circumstances make it impossible to stay with current trainer for whatever reason. I find it hard to believe so many of you would take the "don't let the door hit you in the @ss" approach.

        A reminder....the horse world is tiny, word of mouth is worth its weight in gold, as is professionalism and respect. Some of you might want to look into the definition of those words...
        "There is just as much horse sense as ever, but the horses have most of it"


        • #44
          A nice word never hurts

          I will NEVER forget when a former trainer came up to me (16 year ago) who hadn't seen us in five or six years and remarked how nice my horse was. Here I am, so many years later, and she undid anything that I was entertaining that was negative. See how simple that was? And I still remember it.


          • #45
            Maybe if you did not talk so much trash about your old trainer.... or if you were not so demanding and rude to her/her employees she would be willing to talk to you?? I'm sorry Hucklebug, but this just sounds like a classic case of karma......
            They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken...


            • #46
              Because the horse business is F*&^d up. The lines between professional and personal, friendship and finance are blurred so liberally and so capriciously by people on BOTH sides of the equation. It's no wonder there's so much confusion!

              Assuming it's a professional relationship, it's not weird at all that a trainer would be polite and move along after the business relationship ends. Most people, if they see a former coworker or boss in the grocery store, don't get all huggy-kissy, they just exchange pleasantries and move on. Even if you see a former teacher out on the town -- someone who nurtured you and who you "loved" -- you still don't get all huggy-kissy. It's just not the nature of an expired professional acquaintance.
              I think a lot of us recreational riders put our trainers in the friendship category instead of the business category simply b/c our orientation to the barn is different: For them, the barn and the people there are their BUSINESS. It's smart to be friendly, polite and keep clients happy, but the bottom line is the bottom line. For us, the barn is where we go to have fun and enjoy our free time; it's recreation, and the people we recreate with, including the trainer, we consider our friends.
              Not that trainers aren't guilty, too, of using those friendships to their advantage by relying on free help in business situations, "friend" discounts/favors, extra help from client/friends when it suits them ... then turning around and forgetting the favors only to charge fulll-price-no-deals when it suits them better.
              I evented just for the Halibut.


              • #47
                I had a pretty nasty "divorce" from a trainer a few years ago.

                The tincture of time is a beautiful thing. I see this trainer now, and things are fine. I don't care if said trainer is bashing me behind my back, I don't necessarily think that kind of thing is going on, and I no longer discuss the reasons for our "divorce". LOL.

                I think we both got over it.
                * Sunny * Ella (2006 filly) * Tank (2008 colt)*


                • #48
                  Sometimes I think I've ridden with everyone in Baltimore County... and most of them I'd go back to in a heartbeat if circumstances were different. There are the few, though, with whom I'm glad our business relationship has ended. In no particular order:

                  Dear Ex-Trainer,
                  Using a pony that even the non-horsey railbird moms could see was dead lame in lessons? SO not cool. In hindsight, I'm thinking it was laminitic, and I hope that it's in a better place now.

                  Dear Ex-Trainer,
                  So glad that I don't hear "ARE YOU STUPID?!" at least once a lesson. Thanks, that was inspirational.

                  (This one was a great trainer and I'd recommend [him/her/it] in a heartbeat, but [he/she/it] didn't like my horse, and while [he/she/it] knew that selling him was out of the question, couldn't overcome said dislike and it ended up being very frustrating for us all.)

                  Dear Ex-Trainer,
                  Where do I start? You carried out your divorce in public at the top of your lungs, complete with expletives, around small children. As a child myself, I was teaching your lessons. Working off lessons generally meant "working off" and no lesson. You were constantly drunk. I am amazed that we parted on good terms, although my mother would have liked to have taken you behind the back barn, and yes, I do hear all of the trash you spew about me behind my back--to the same people that you tell how wonderful I was and how much you wish I'd work for you again. I feel sorry for you, but more than that, for your daughter, for whose sake I wish you'd go to rehab and then get some counselling.

                  Dear Ex-Trainer,
                  I get along with you MUCH better now that I ride elsewhere, paradoxically. You're like an aunt to me, but I guess like any family, we drive each other crazy! PS- those clients who owe you three months in back board and lessons, but you let them ride anyway because you don't want to hurt the kids? Once you lay down the law and say you need a check cleared before more lessons, they'll pay up. They don't want to hurt the kids either, and they can afford the lessons and board. They're just using you as a doormat because you don't speak up.

                  All of the above trainers, by the way, as well as all of the others with whom I've amicably parted, say hi, how are you? when we find ourselves standing next to each other by the ring. It's common courtesy. You don't have to trade life stories, but be polite like your mama taught you.
                  "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                  Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                  Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.


                  • #49
                    I'm always shocked by this. My past two trainers (both I left due to relocation), I have kept in touch with, if by emails only. One past trainer though has been nothing but rude and inpolite in every encounter.

                    You would think, in this industry that is SO HEAVILY fueled by networking and ringside banter, that trainers would be better at PR.

                    Of course working at barns I have seen some bat$hit crazy boarders and clients so I guess it goes both ways. For every snubbing rude trainer I am sure there is out there some jerk ex-boarder is spreading crappy rumors about their last barn.


                    • #50
                      Wow, I guess I'm not the only one, who on occasion, has had a near panick attack at the thought of running into and old trainer!!Here's mine, to my trainer when I was an 18 year old kid (MANY years ago! LOL!!) who had just lost her dad to a long illness...

                      Dear Former Trainer,

                      Thank you for taking me to the show on that little appy mare who REALLY needed training. I sooo enjoyed the ambulance ride to the hospital after breaking my ribs on that brush box when she stopped.

                      You were so wonderful in your concern for my well being, when rather than actually coming into the ring to see me as I was being put on the stretcher, you were with my other former trainer (who taught me for almost 3 years) laughing about what a terrible rider I was.

                      Oh, and an extra special "thank you" for later telling my friends, who stopped being my "friend" afterward, that I fell off because I was using drugs!

                      I wish you all the best,

                      Just call me "crash"
                      Cowboy--the gentleman & Go Baby Go--the pony with attitude!!

                      Crayola posse---Indigo


                      • #51
                        Dear Former Trainer #1,
                        I really loved working/riding/training/busting my ass for/with you. I would appreciate if you could show some respect and say hi at the shows.

                        Dear Former Trainer #2,
                        Woman, what the hell is wrong with you?

                        Dear Former Trainer #3,
                        I may be coming back.


                        • #52
                          Originally posted by yellow rose View Post
                          oh this is hilarious...very therapeutic.. I have been on both sides.

                          Dear former client,
                          You were nuts, and wanted me to put desitin on every single knick and bump on your horse. Years later, my hands still smell like a baby's a$$. NEVER AGAIN. So glad you peaced out. I still see you and am very nice to you, you can be a lovely person, some of the time.. but don't think for a second I would take on another horse of yours.

                          Dear former trainer,
                          You were also nuts. And you have very bad taste in clothing. And I KNOW you sleep with your clients. Is that how you keep customers? Because it's definitely not your riding and training skills..

                          OK.. feel better. Hopefully you all have moved on from the ill fitting trainers and clients to ones that make you better coaches and riders. I know I have, and I am so happy!
                          Ahh yes. So true. And gosh, the clients and trainers sleeping together. DISGUSTING !! Can't stand the bed hopping in this industry. Riders and grooms, owners and riders, owners and trainers, married riders and married riders (not to each other !!) Yech !!
                          \"Enlightenment is like moonlight reflected on the water. The moon does not get wet nor is the water broken.\"


                          • #53
                            Wow, some people need to take their chill pills today, huh?

                            Anyway, in no particular order...

                            Dear former trainer #1,

                            I was so sad when I left you, and I would have stayed but for the relocation. I appreciate your holiday cards and our rare but pleasant email exchanges. I think you are a consummate professional and a gentleman. If I move back, I will locate to your specific area, even though it's out of the way, just because I respect you so much. I send you lots of business, and if I am horse shopping again, will call you-- even though you're far. The extra hauling money is worth it. I trust you and you know horses better than nearly anyone.

                            Dear former trainer #2,

                            I really like you and I enjoyed my time with you, but the horsemanship slid from acceptable to unacceptable and I had to go. You're a nice person. I wish you well. I really wish I could candidly tell you about all the problems and have you hear them-- because you could be great if you'd pay attention to the details-- but you don't care. I wish the best for you, but I can't help but feel a bit uncomfortable when I see you at shows. I feel like you couldn't handle the truth, and so you made up some lie to tell yourself about why I left. But deep down, you know why. And why everyone else left. And why turnover is so high. I respect you, but I can't work with you and I can't recommend anyone else do either. Which is a shame. I hope things turn around, everyone deserves a second chance-- but not with my horses. Good luck.
                            "The Son Dee Times" "Sustained" "Somerset" "Franklin Square"


                            • Original Poster

                              Originally posted by LaBonnieBon View Post
                              Maybe if you did not talk so much trash about your old trainer.... or if you were not so demanding and rude to her/her employees she would be willing to talk to you?? I'm sorry Hucklebug, but this just sounds like a classic case of karma......

                              Do you think I am Rachel?

                              LOL, now that's the funniest damn thing I think I've ever heard.

                              There's some people on here who DO know who I am, and I can guarantee you that I am not she.

                              I have absolutely NEVER talked trashed about this trainer to anyone other to than my non-horsey friends who don't know the person, or in reality, give a crap.


                              • #55
                                You know, I had to leave the same trainer 3 times over a number of years for a variety of reasons. She always stayed in touch, even just a quick email once in awhile. A hello good to see you at shows etc.

                                Ya know what. . .every opportunity I had I went back to train with her. Sent her clients, business and bought a number of horses from her.

                                Her attitude was professional and mature. She managed to find that extra minute to make sure that I knew that she valued my past business. Therefore she got all my future business whenever possible.

                                She is a pro. You other trainers that are just too freakin busy deserve what you get, no repeat business, no referrals and no horse sales from previous clients. You get what you sow. But then being a bitch or an ass is just so easy isn't it???

                                I had Steffen Peters and Guenter Seidel both stop to say hello to me at a show. Hmmm, they might be just a tad busier than a bunch of you folks. They valued our business relationship and made a point of letting me know. It's called CLASS people!!!!! Try some on for size.
                                Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!!


                                • #56
                                  Doe it annoy any of you out there that trainers feel entitled to live like their clients ? ! (Almost the same way our kids feel when they leave home!!) It doesn't really annoy me, it just amazes me.


                                  • #57
                                    Nice to know Im not the only own who feels like vomiting at the sight or sound of my ex-trainer! Funny how they never seem to think what they say about ex-clients will get back to them...


                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by Moli View Post
                                      Doe it annoy any of you out there that trainers feel entitled to live like their clients ? ! (Almost the same way our kids feel when they leave home!!) It doesn't really annoy me, it just amazes me.
                                      I don't understand your point here. Are you saying that trainers should be poor? Sorry I just don't get it


                                      • #59
                                        The trainers say it is a business...you are gone now...a non person. As a business owner I say you run a strange business. We have clients come and go, meet other competing business owners etc. Always are polite, respectful, and have a quick word...hi good to see you...maybe that is all. But we never burn our bridges, networking is important as is reputation and good will in the business world. I think maybe some of these businesses need to work on etiquette. No one expects gushing and hugs...simply polite acknowledgement.


                                        • #60
                                          Dear Trainer from When I was 14 and 15,
                                          I will never forget the first horse show I went to with New Trainer. You walked by me and my horse three times without saying hello. Then you sat at the far end of the ring and as I trotted past you said just loud enough "Have at it, I'm watching you". Well, I hope you enjoyed watching my horse lope around the course on a soft, loose rein and do gorgeous flying changes that you swore he would never do. I'll always feel lucky you found my Lego for me but really, did you have to be such a bitch to a teenager? Did it REALLY make you feel good to intimidate me? I don't send many people your way and your behavior is still clear as day in my head nearly 20 years later. Still have that horse and I'm sure you were watching me win A LOT after I left.
                                          Can you stress-fracture your brain?