• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Handling Professionally

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Handling Professionally

    Recently I relocated barns and am more than thrilled with my current situation. New barn manager/trainer is incredibly easy to work with, all of the trainers who currently are in residence are amazingly wonderful to be around and all the clients are completely friendly and welcoming. We're a mix of eventing/dressage and hunter/jumper.

    One of the things that was stressed to us MULTIPLE times upon arrival is that BM/Trainer won't tolerate drama. Also brought up by his very sweet wife. To prove his point, a drama filled trainer was there for about 2 months before a sudden depature. Not sure the details but I can only imagine.

    Now another drama trainer is coming in. The clincher? She's an acquaintance of mine and BM knows it. She's been through several barns and has created a huge drama even here on COTH.

    So my question to you COTH'ers is how to I approach BM to let him know that we're not really close friends. that I don't want her problems associated with me (and more importantly my horse) because there will be problems and I don't want to go down with the ship. At the same time I don't want to be perceived as a problem either.

    Looking for some constructive ideas here....

  • #2
    I won't approach the BM specifically.

    Just be polite, don't over socialize with new trainer, and stay out of the fray.

    The BM will realize you aren't involved if/whens something goes down and you will be unscathed.

    You bringing something up before hand can be construed as sh*t-stirring and bite u in the butt later.
    www.brydellefarm.com ....developing riders, NOT passengers!
    Member of LNHorsemanshipT & Proud of It Clique
    "What gets me up every morning is realizing how much more there is still to learn." -GHM


    • #3
      On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with trying to work in a phrase like "I know her, but we are not very close anymore" into a conversation...
      Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


      • Original Poster

        Originally posted by DMK View Post
        On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with trying to work in a phrase like "I know her, but we are not very close anymore" into a conversation...
        ^I am thinking something like this.

        To add more to this (and there's even more but sort of inconsquential at this time) is that I have students from years ago who recently came back and asked me to teach them and BM has agreed provided that we can 'work well together.' If he can't work well with her, I don't want my reputation tarnished since he's already told her that I've expressed interest in working with him.

        And I know she's mentioned my name as part of this and had called me to say "I'll help you out when I get on." I politely said that I would rather keep my dealings between he and I.


        • #5
          I agree with keeping quiet, especially if you are looking for an employment opportunity with the BM/Trainer.

          Limit your dealings with this individual to polite greetings and a little small talk. If possible, I would create physical separation by scheduling your visits to the barn to be during times when this individual is not present.

          Your cardinal rule to handling this will be not to discuss any barn business with this person - clients, the BM/Trainer, other boarders, other horses, etc. If this person is at all threatened by your abilities, anything you say will get back to the BM/Trainer or the individuals in question, that's how drama starters operate.

          People like this are best left to sink their own ships, just be patient as it may not happen instantly - but history will repeat itself in time.
          Proud Member of the "Tidy Rabbit Tinfoil Hat Wearers" clique and the "I'm in my 30's and Hope to be a Good Rider Someday" clique


          • Original Poster


            To add an additional layer to the complexity my friend that I moved with is drama trainer's BFF and so every conversation that I've had with BM has been fed directly back to her, through I've tried to politely distance myself she was clearly hanging around to hear.

            I'm also down with waiting for her to sink herself as well. I just haven't dealt with this in 'real' life so I wanted to be sure to do the best thing to protect myself and my horse. His happiness is my #1 concern and he seems to like this place! (And he's pretty picky believe it or not)